He chuckled. “So what changed your mind?”
A thoughtful look came over Cassie’s face as she gazed off toward the pasture. “My Grandma. She had this phrase she’d always say. ‘Inner peace is found in the delicate balance of holding on, and letting go.’ She’d had so many discussions with me about the importance of letting go of my parents – the hope they might one day return – I had that part mastered.” Cassie spun around to face him and shrugged. “So when I wanted to quit, my grandmother worried. I’d made a lot of friends in gymnastics. The coach, my teammates. I think she feared I hadn’t learned enough about the holding on part. That I’d be willing to say goodbye to just about anyone.”
The phrase was sharp and dangerous, like barbs on a wire, and it flooded Shane with a sickening fear. Had Cassie learned to let go too easily? When things were safe back home, which option would she apply to Emerson Ranch? The holding on, or letting go? That fear struck against a rough surface in the corner of his mind, lighting the dark place like a match, revealing a hidden truth he hadn’t wanted to see: Shane had fallen in love with Cassie Lovell.
Cassie broke into the silence. “You know, my grandma wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, but she was a good woman. I’m fortunate to have gotten so close to her.”
Shane responded by asking more about the lady who’d raised her, and the conversation continued. Soon talk of Betty and Grant arose; Cassie said she adored the older couple. She raved about Reese and Jade as well, and added that she was impressed with Shane’s brothers too. And though Shane knew he shouldn’t need the affirmation, he couldn’t help but wonder if Cassie had become as fond of him. And what if she had those same doubts about his feelings for her?
An inner voice hissed horrible words in his head – warning him Cassie could be gone in the snap of a whip. A great yearning gripped hold of him, a need to vanquish any doubts she might have. He needed to make sure she knew which act to follow when it came time to choose. Cassie had to know Shane was worth holding on to.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
“I’ve got an idea,” Cassie said, hoping to pull Shane from his musings. He’d assumed a sort of brooding temperament during their conversation, a tensed furrow pulling at his brow.
Cassie came to a stand and began climbing out of the hot tub.
Shane’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?”
“Cooling down.” She took the back porch steps slowly, welcoming the crisp air on her warm skin, and eyed the rain-dropping clouds above. Cassie squealed as she turned her face toward the sky, allowing the cool drops to splash and plink against her skin. Her palms turned upward as well, the rain bouncing off their flat surface.
The long grass matted beneath her feet as she spun in place, feeling more free and alive than she had in years. Laughter bubbled in her throat as she bolted toward the covered porch, taking the four steps in two long strides. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in the stunned expression on Shane’s ruggedly handsome face. His eyes shifted from wide and surprised, to narrowed and thoughtful as he scrutinized her, a smile tugging at one corner of his lips.
“You’ve got to try that,” she said, invigorated. After tossing a towel to the slatted wood beneath her, Cassie wiped her feet and climbed into the hot tub, shivering and smiling all at once. “Your turn.”
His face went blank for a moment. “Okay,” he said. “If you do it with me.”
Cassie shook her head. “No way. Once was enough for me.” She proceeded to dare him with her playful gaze, enjoying the amused gleam that reappeared in his eyes.
“Alright,” he said, climbing out of the tub. But instead of heading toward the stairs, Shane walked around to where she sat. Cassie gasped as he approached, darting toward the center of the small pool. Shane reached into the water, securing one arm solidly beneath her knees, and the other behind her back.
“Think I was going to give up so soon?” he asked lifting her out of the water with ease. He held her higher while taking the stairs, her feet just missing the railing. Cassie relished the feel of his chest muscles rippling against her. And as the fluid drops splashed the length of her body, she ducked into him, burying her face into his chest. Hints of his masculine aftershave lingered on his skin.
“Oh, you’re right,” he said, lifting his head toward the sky. “This is wonderful. I think I’ll stay out here all day.”
Cassie kicked her legs as she giggled, her laughter muffled in the small space against him. The rain pelted her back, soaked into her hair, and trailed down and around her neck. “Let me go,” she hollered.
“Why? You want to get out of the rain?”
She pulled away from his chest, looked at him through the steady downpour as she laughed. “Yes, you psycho.”
“Psycho?” He hunched forward to set her lightly on her feet. Cassie bolted toward the porch, anxious to get beneath the awning, but Shane captured her by the wrist.
“You’re the crazy one,” he said, blinking as the rain caught onto his dark lashes. “This was your idea, remember?”
Cassie relaxed her arm until his grasp loosened, then snatched her wrist away and made a run for it. She ran fast up the stairs, but Shane was faster. Just as she reached the top, Shane’s strong hands captured her waist, his fingers wrapping around her hips and seizing her in place. With what felt like little effort, Shane spun her around, causing her to meet his gaze.
His dark, wavy hair, heavy with moisture, now hung lower around his face. One thick strand covered the corner of his eye, adding to the severity behind his deep, smoldering gaze. The playfulness was gone from him. And what remained set Cassie’s mind scattering like dry grass in a wicked breeze.
The steady fall of rain thrummed against the awning above. And though no sounds of thunder shook the ground, unseen bolts of lightning surged between them. The magnetic charge dissolved her inhibitions, and she couldn’t squelch her desire to touch the perfect planes of his masculine face. With movements candid and raw, Cassie reached out, rested her palms along his roughly shaven cheeks, admiring each handsome feature. The cool drops on his skin gathered beneath her touch, racing toward her fingertips as they slid along his strong jaw, down the sides of his neck.
Shane’s hands, resting at her hips, squeezed into her flesh before flattening against her, the heat of his palms penetrating her bathing suit as they moved longingly up her back. In the shaded light, his eyes looked more brown than hazel; the heat she saw in them causing her heart to hammer. A frigid breeze kicked up in that moment, but the warmth of his body, mingled with the intensity of his gaze, chased away the chill.
“Cassie,” he murmured before pulling her closer.
She let her eyes close as Shane pressed a kiss to her cheek. He rubbed the scruff along his jaw on her face, back and forth before kissing her cheek again, closer to her lips this time. He repeated the action again, inching toward her mouth while thrilling her with the rough touch of his facial hair one moment, tempting her with the softness of his kiss the next. Goose bumps rose in a ripple over her skin, the tension building within her as she waited for his kiss.
At last his mouth met hers, teasing as he pressed light, lingering kisses to her bottom lip, one after the next, urging her to respond.
The act unleashed every ounce of desire she felt for him. The need to be held in his strong arms. Her longing to be closer to him. To belong to him.
With a barely conscious thought, Cassie released the pent-up passion within her, greeting his next kiss with her parted lips, ready to indulge in it. Get lost in it.
Shane Emerson was skilled in ways she’d never imagined. It seemed as if every move he made added to her bliss, fed her pleasure. His hand, large and strong, gripped at her hair, tilting her head as he deepened the kiss. The groan that sounded from his chest was low, masculine, and assured her that he felt the same.
Cassie sighed, the small sound getting lost in him as she ran hands through his hair in return. The cool, wet strands sliding between her fing
ers. His lips toyed with hers as he gripped her waist once more, pressing her firmly against the sliding glass door. His kiss was heated, driven, and loaded with a new sense of conviction. At once his mouth left hers and traveled to her neck, just below her earlobe. The urgency reached a fevered peak as he trailed kisses down her throat.
Cassie felt her body melt, her muscles weaken as Shane slowed his pace, moving his lips over her shoulder achingly slow. She might have collapsed to the ground had the weight of Shane’s muscular build not held her in place.
A rash of voices broke into the moment, and it took Cassie a second to tune into them. “Shane, you devil,” Trey bellowed. “Do we need to come back later? Leave the newlyweds alone?”
Shane broke away from Cassie, gazed at her longingly with a full-on fire in his eyes. Cassie found herself wishing the newlywed thing were true. Wishing she truly belonged to him.
“No,” Shane said, his voice raspy and weak. His eyes pierced hers as he added, “We’ll take this inside.”
Cassie could almost hear her heart thump an extra beat out of rhythm.
The guys whooped and hollered in response. Shane backed away, his eyes never leaving hers.
Cassie’s mind raced. Did Shane intend to take things inside? Finish where he left off? Her chin began to tremble from the cold, the absence of his warm touch. She cleared her throat, eyeing the ranch hands as they stood shuffling from one foot to the next while waiting to enter the hot tub. Trey gave her a wide smile while wagging his brows.
“Better shut those windows tight, Shane,” Randy bellowed. “There are a lot of us wolves out here with keen hearing and devilish minds.” As if proving his point, the muscled ranch hand tipped his head back and let out a howl. A few of the others joined in.
Shane rolled his eyes, grazing Cassie’s hip with one straightened arm, and reached for the handle to the door. He pulled Cassie away from the glass before sliding it open. “Go ahead,” he said, nodding toward the dining area.
The walk down the hallway felt awkward and strained. Cassie could hear Shane’s muted footsteps as he followed paces behind. Her mind was everywhere at once. What would happen now? How much would she allow to happen? She couldn’t help but think getting involved with Shane was a terrible mistake. Sure, his brothers had taken to married life, but perhaps Shane wanted nothing to do with it. The last thing Cassie needed was another attachment she had to let go of. One more hole in her heart – one she may never fully fill.
As she stepped into Shane’s bedroom, her eyes went to his window, peeking through the half-open blinds to see that it was already shut. Her heart throbbed painfully as she eyed the bed, wondering when Shane would make his move. If he would.
He’d followed her into the room, but stopped just beyond the doorway, avoiding her gaze. He wasn’t sure either – she could tell. Shane Emerson was nothing if not honest. Decent. And he didn’t want to give her the wrong idea.
It felt as if her heart had torn in two, the larger portion sinking to the ground beneath her feet. Cassie envisioned treading over it as she stepped toward the bathroom, wavering at the entryway. She spun around to look at him, relaying a list of unspoken questions with her gaze, wishing he’d give her an answer: Did he care for her? Could he see himself married to her one day? Had he fallen hopelessly in love with her, as she had him?
Shane nodded toward the bathroom, his feet planted in place a safe distance from her. “You go ahead,” he murmured. “I’ll change in here.”
~+~
Shane forced himself not to watch as Cassie made her way out of the room. From the corner of his eye, he saw the door shut. He wanted to punch a hole in the wall and spew curses loud enough for the horses to hear. Instead, he wadded up the towel in his hand and flung it across the room, muttering under his breath. A volcano of frustration erupted inside him, burning every muscle in his body with angry heat. Why had he suddenly been forced to make a decision he wasn’t at all ready to make?
When Shane had told Trey he’d be taking things inside, he’d meant every word. Yet when he’d followed her down the hallway, her slim figure taunting him just yards ahead, he couldn’t help but think things were moving dangerously fast. And the last thing he needed was another crash and burn.
He paced the floor and forced out a slow breath through pursed lips, running a hand along his jaw. He had the rest of the day to spend with this woman. He only hoped whatever Cassie chose to do, it would take them out of the house. Away from the bed. Just glancing at the king-sized mattress made Shane want to tear open the door, drag Cassie back to his room, and have his way with her.
With great effort, Shane ripped his thoughts away from the tempting visions and focused on the few things he knew for certain: First: Cassie Lovell could be leaving any day. Second: Shane had fallen in love with her. And third: He had no idea whether or not she felt the same.
He didn’t know how much time he had, but one last thing was certain: Before Cassie left Emerson Ranch, Shane was going to find out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Cassie could not bring herself to even consider kissing Shane goodnight. Not while she was so unsure of his feelings for her. Though a voice in her head said Shane had made it obvious. During the movie they’d gone to see, Shane held Cassie’s hand, his strong, slightly calloused fingers gently caressing her palm before linking in and out of their grip. Not only had the action been sensual, it had infused Cassie with a sense of comfort where he was concerned. She was safe with him, in more ways than one. Surely Shane Emerson made it clear that he cared for her, but that didn’t mean he loved her.
“You coming?” Shane stood just outside the open truck door, the yellowed interior light reaching beyond the cab to touch his handsome face in the night.
Cassie glanced down at the hand he held out to her before meeting his gaze. A dose of heat flared within her chest. The magnitude of her growing love for him, combined with the all-consuming pull he had on her, caused sheer havoc within her heart. So much that it hurt. She slid along the seat and dropped her gaze to the damp ground at Shane’s feet.
“Don’t forget your food,” he said, nodding to the box of leftovers on the seat.
“Oh yeah. Thanks.” Cassie reached for the box, securing it in one hand. She hadn’t known how to explain her lack of appetite at the restaurant, but at least she hadn’t wasted the meal. Perhaps by the time Shane went to sleep her appetite would return and she could eat it then. It was sure to be a sleepless night; filled with restless thoughts and questions, along with inevitable doubts as to how Shane felt for her. At some point, Cassie would be forced to make a choice, like she’d learned to do so many years ago. Sure, they hadn’t heard so much as a whisper from Seattle on the case, but that didn’t mean much. Things could change in the blink of an eye and Cassie could be on an airplane, saying goodbye to Emerson Ranch and all the wonderful people there.
“Are you alright?” Shane asked, breaking into her concentration. While Cassie had been stuck in her musings, Shane had escorted her up the steps and to the front door. His face was devastatingly handsome beneath the warm porch light. His alluring eyes dark and friendly all at once.
Cassie cleared her throat. “Yeah.” Her gaze shifted to the door before settling back on him. “Thank you for dinner, and the movie, and the …”
“The hot tub?” Shane’s brows arched as he flashed her a wicked smile.
She couldn’t help but laugh as her face flushed with heat. “That too.”
Shane looked down at his feet, nudging the doormat with his boot. When his hazel eyes met hers once more, the warmth in her face spread throughout every inch of her body, igniting passions she didn’t want to feel.
In a slow, almost hesitant manner, Shane reached out to her, securing one warm hand behind her neck. His brows furrowed in concentration as he looked at her. Like she was a complicated puzzle to solve. Or a problem he had to fix. The expression terrified her. Made her wonder if he was just about to apologize for leading her on. To say
he’d never really felt anything for her at all. He might admit he’d been thinking about Natasha since she came into town, and ask for permission to tell the woman about the farce so he could start dating his ex once more.
“Cassie,” he said in a raspy whisper.
But it was too much. She couldn’t possibly hear the words she feared would come. She was better off never knowing. Left to imagine that perhaps he really did love her, even if he never had. With that very thought urging her next move, Cassie backed away from him.
“You don’t have to say anything to me, Shane. Alright?” She glanced up in time to see the confusion in his eyes.
His lips tightened into a straight line.
Cassie turned her attention to the door, hoping to escape the dreaded conversation he’d intended to start. Yet just as she gripped the knob, ready to slip into the silence of the home, Shane spoke from behind.
“I think we need to talk,” he said. “Don’t you?”
She let out a deep sigh and shook her head, unwilling to turn back and face him. “Not really.” Cassie’s voice sounded cold and calloused. She regretted the tone but there was no going back. So she carried forward, glancing at him over one shoulder. “I’m not sure we have much to talk about. But I do want to make one thing clear.” She fought the tremble of her lower lip. “You don’t owe me anything. Okay?” And she meant it. He’d given her enough. A safe place to stay. The kind & loving warmth of the ranch. And a romance that was far too good to be true. Shane didn’t have to apologize for the fact that he hadn’t fallen in love with her. That he still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend, if, in fact, he did. Either way, she was better off not knowing.
Cassie's Cowboy Crave: Witness Protection - Rancher Style (Sweet Montana Bride Series) Page 18