Jocelyn stared at her for a long moment.
“Thanks for covering for me,” said Jocelyn.
Anna sighed.
“I’m so sorry, Jocelyn,” she said. She sat in the chair next to Jocelyn. “I am so ashamed of what I did.”
“But you’re still in love with him,” said Jocelyn.
“He’s easy to love,” she said.
“He sure is,” said Jocelyn. She looked down at the hospital blanket and Anna felt such a wave of pity for her that she was lost.
“I can’t believe I did this to you. Please, please forgive me,” said Anna.
“Anna, I’m not upset that you and Colin are whatever you are. I mean, I am a little bit, because what the hell? But when I woke up and saw Will sitting there, right next to me, I just knew that he’d been there the entire time I was unconscious. I could feel it. And then the nurses said that he had never left my side.”
Anna nodded.
“Do you know that when I was in the accident I was on my way to tell Will everything and beg his forgiveness?” asked Jocelyn.
Anna was dumbfounded.
“No,” she said.
Jocelyn shook her head.
“Colin is amazing, but he was a huge mistake. He was a symptom of everything that was wrong in my life, not the reason for it. I only regret that I acted on my impulses,” she said. She looked at Anna and Anna wondered if she was supposed to also regret Colin.
“I realized that what Will and I have is real love, and I don’t want to throw that away. Coming close to losing your life can make you see things clearly. Hey, what are you making that face for? This should be good news to you, Mrs. O’Neil-wannabe,” said Jocelyn.
“What did Will say about everything?” asked Anna.
“He said he-” she started.
“How are you feeling?” asked Will, returning to the room. Jocelyn looked at Anna. They’d have to finish their conversation later.
“Oh, so much different than when you left. I think I relapsed. I can’t believe you left me here by myself,” she joked.
Will smiled sheepishly.
“I’ll back off,” he said.
“No, I like it,” she said, taking his hand.
“Hey Jocelyn, I think I’m going to go get settled in my hotel. I’ll be back later,” said Anna.
“Sure. Bring your boyfriend by,” said Jocelyn. Will looked from Jocelyn to Anna.
“Oh. Okay,” she said. She left the room and headed downstairs, this time without the heaviness that had followed her while Jocelyn was in the coma. She wished she hadn’t told Colin to leave; she really felt like she needed someone right then.
When the elevator doors opened, he was waiting there as if he’d never left.
Anna and Colin went back to the hospital after a few hours. As the elevator doors opened to let them on, a young couple carrying a car seat got off. Anna almost didn’t recognize them, they looked so happy.
“Laura! Drew!” she said to the couple from the NICU. She looked down into the car seat;
there was little Rebecca, bigger now, but still so small, her eyes scrunched shut, tiny fists by her face.
“We can bring her home,” said Laura. The tears in her eyes were unmistakably joy.
“I am so happy for you two,” said Anna.
“We wanted to thank you for those photos you took that day. They were amazing, the
way you captured Rebecca how we saw her – not a sick baby who might not make it, but our beautiful child. Those photos are really special to us, and the other families up there,” said Drew.
“You get to know the other parents pretty well,” added Laura.
“I am so glad to hear that,” she said, and she was. It was the first time she’d used her
photography for something truly good, and inspiration struck her.
“Congratulations again,” said Colin, patting Drew on the arm and giving Laura a warm
smile.
When it was just the two of them on the elevator, Colin grinned at her.
“What?” he asked.
“What do you mean, what? Nothing,” said Anna.
“You have an idea,” he said. She was impressed that he knew her well enough to see that.
“You’re right, I do. I’m going to use my photography for good. I’m going to hook up with charities, hospitals, animal shelters – anything that has a larger purpose than vanity,” she said.
Still grinning, Colin nodded.
“Great idea, Anna. I hope you’ll consider doing that in Boston,” he said.
The elevator doors open and they walked down the hallway to Jocelyn’s room.
Will and Jocelyn were still alone.
“Colin, is it?” asked Jocelyn with an undeniable smirk.
Will shook his head with subdued rage. Anna wondered if he would kick Colin’s ass for being there.
“Honey, would you go get me a sandwich?” Jocelyn said to Will.
“Really? I don’t want to leave you alone with this guy,” said Will.
“Please. I’m starving. And Anna’s here,” said Jocelyn.
“That should make me feel better,” said Will.
It hurt, but he was right to not trust her.
When Will was gone, Jocelyn smiled at Anna.
“Give us a minute?” she said.
Anna flushed; of course they’d want to be alone.
“I’ll be in the hallway,” she said. She went into the hallway and pulled out her phone so that if Will came back, she could say she’d had to take a work call. She felt a flurry of nervousness; she hadn’t realized she’d feel so uncomfortable having the two of them alone together.
They were quiet and then there was murmuring, and then there was laughing. After what felt like hours but was probably minutes, Colin came to the door.
“Come back in,” he said, a twinkle in his eyes. It was the twinkle that assured Anna that everything between everyone was fine. Well, as far as the three of them were concerned.
By the time they left the hospital the weather had cooled down and Anna was downright cold. Colin took one of Anna’s hands as they walked to his car, and squeezed it with a smile. She smiled back, but neither of them said anything.
He drove them back to Anna’s hotel and parked.
“This feels weird,” he said.
“Good weird or bad weird?” she asked.
“Good weird. Very good,” he said.
“What now?” she asked.
“Let’s walk,” he said.
She didn’t say he was crazy, that it was too cold to go for a walk. The sun was just starting to set and the Boston skyline was orange and gold and pink. He took her hand again and they walked down the streets filled with people toward Boston Common and the Public Garden. The air smelled like autumn, burning leaves and apple cider and her nose was cold, so, so cold. She loved it.
“The city missed you,” he said. Anna liked that thought, that Boston had felt as empty without her as she had without it.
“The Christmas lights are beautiful,” she said, admiring the white lights adorning the trees, getting ready for the holidays.
“This is a great place to take wedding pictures,” he said. She smiled up at him.
“I bet it is,” she said.
He pulled her to the side of the walkway and looked into her eyes.
“Everything’s out in the open,” he said.
“It is,” she said.
“It’s still messy,” he said.
“I think it’s going to be messy for a long time,” she said.
“I still love you,” he said.
“I still love you too,” she said.
He kissed her and she kissed him back.
“I want to be with you no matter how difficult it is,” said Colin.
“Are you sure? It might be really hard. Jocelyn’s not just going to forgive us and Will – well, Will may never forgive us,” she said.
“Stay in Boston, stay with me, and let’s try to naviga
te through it together,” he said. He was earnest and hopeful and childlike.
“I really want to,” she said.
“What’s stopping you? Let’s see where this goes,” he said. He pulled her in for another kiss and she knew she would stay.
PART 3
JOCELYN
CHAPTER 28
It seemed like forever before the hospital would let Jocelyn go home. Will’s family went home after a few days, followed by Jocelyn’s family. Eventually the doctor signed off on her returning to the home she shared with Will, provided she went regularly to a rehab center.
She was relieved and at the same time, she was dreading being alone with Will day in and day out. Out of the hospital setting, hurt feelings might rear their ugly heads. Mostly she was happy to be alive and healthy. She knew she’d narrowly escaped permanent brain damage or paralysis.
Her heart was pounding as Will let her into their apartment. He carried everything; bags, flowers, gifts, cards. He insisted that she rest as much as possible, which apparently included not carrying a vase of flowers. She followed with just a purse.
Once inside, Will set down their stuff and turned to grin at her.
“Home sweet home,” he said.
Jocelyn smiled back, wanting to share his enthusiasm but consumed by anxiety.
“It’s nice not to be in the hospital anymore,” she said.
“You’re not kidding. I was starting to feel like I would never be back here,” he joked.
Jocelyn walked to him and touched his arm.
“You were so good to me while I was in the hospital. Better than I ever could have imagined. I know you said you didn’t want to talk about what I did until I was healthy, but I’m ready. I need to, I can’t think about anything else,” she said.
Will sighed as if she was bursting the bubble of their happiness. He led her to the couch.
“Okay, shoot,” he said.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This was the hardest thing she hoped she would ever have to do.
“When we first moved here, I felt so alone. I felt like you were always gone and I was trapped by the baby and this apartment and a job I didn’t want. I tried to talk to you about it, but you were so happy you didn’t hear me,” she said.
“I know. I’m so sorry,” he said.
“No, you don’t need to be sorry. This is something I should have talked to you about when it started. I didn’t. I let my feelings fester until I blew up. And when I did, Colin was there,” she said.
“I hate that guy,” said Will.
“I don’t blame you, but I think we’ll be seeing him for a long time, so I hope you can move past this,” she said.
Will looked doubtful.
“The miscarriage destroyed me. It’s not an excuse for cheating on you, but it made me crazy. I can’t bring our baby back and I can’t undo the damage I’ve done to our marriage or the hurt I’ve caused you, but I can promise that I will spend the rest of my days trying to make things right. I will never betray you again, if you’ll stay with me. I will love you, and only you, for the rest of our lives,” she said.
She stopped, waiting for him to say something.
He stared off into space for a long while. The silence was killing her but she knew she owed it to him.
“I knew something was up, but when Sophie came to the hospital and filled me in…” he trailed off, shaking his head.
“I can’t believe she did that. I wish I could have been the one to tell you,” she said.
“She was angry with Colin about something. That guy really has a hard time not being a jerk, huh?” he said.
“I doubt she got what she wanted by telling you,” said Jocelyn.
“No, I think she got a stern talking to from your brother,” said Will.
“I can’t believe that you knew and you stayed with me at the hospital,” she said.
“That’s how I knew that I wasn’t going to leave you. I couldn’t even leave you right after I found out. I was so angry, so hurt, but I didn’t want you to feel like you were abandoned in the hospital, so I stayed. I realized that this whole thing was probably partially my fault – I mean, I didn’t make you sleep with Colin or anything, but I wasn’t the husband that you needed me to be.”
Jocelyn stared at him, shocked.
“I don’t deserve you,” she said.
“Joc, I forgive you. It’s going to take some time for the trust to be rebuilt, but almost
losing you forever made me realize I never want to be without you. I just want us to be back to normal, back to how happy we were before you got pregnant. Let’s try to get there,” he said.
Jocelyn was overwhelmed by so many emotions that she burst into tears.
“Gladly,” she said.
PART 4
The Roundup, The Following July
CHAPTER 29
Jocelyn ran out of the Four Seasons hotel holding Will’s hand. It was a far cry from the summer before, when she had been having illicit drinks with Colin. Now she wore a traditional wedding gown and kissed her husband, vows renewed, in front of a hundred of their closest friends and family, with Anna taking the pictures and Colin by Anna’s side.
It had taken almost a year, but Jocelyn was nearly back to normal. Besides a fear of taxi cabs which she doubted she would ever overcome, she felt healthy, happy, and deeply in love with Will. They’d even talked about trying for another baby.
The wedding party made their way through the Public Garden to a bridge crossing over one of the ponds. Jocelyn and Will stopped at the bridge and Anna took pictures of Jocelyn and Will, then the couple with their families. When she finished the group started back to the hotel to begin the reception. Anna paused to put away her camera and felt a hand on her back.
“I told you this was a beautiful place to take wedding pictures,” said Colin. He smiled and kissed her on the cheek.
“You were right. These are going to be great for my portfolio,” she said.
“Like you need to add anything. Aren’t you already one of the best photographers in Boston? And to do so much charitable work? You’re the best in my book,” he said.
Anna blushed.
They followed the wedding party back to the Four Seasons and Colin took Anna’s hand.
“Do you think Will could ever like me?” he asked, watching Will put a protective arm around Jocelyn.
“Probably not. But he might come around eventually. He’s finally forgiven me. At least Jocelyn will be teaching this fall and won’t have you to tempt her,” she teased.
“Like anyone could tempt me away from you,” he said.
“That’s what I like to hear,” said Anna.
“Just think, Anna my love, next year, this might be us,” said Colin. He took her by the hand and let her away for a special surprise.
Wrong in Love Page 17