“...and Donny thought that I was sneaking out to play around with Jonesy. I guess they would see each other’s cars coming and going at late hours.” She laughed. “As if I would have anything to do with that horrible little man. Ha! It was me! Me, that Josie was interested in.”
The Pastor looked stunned at this revelation.
“Oh, no, no...not in that kind of way. We both talked about having a fresh start, getting away from our ball-and-chains that were tying us down to this dull little town. It’s like being in hospice care, waiting to die here. We went out to nightclubs and casinos, Josie and I, where real men paid attention to us. We were going to run away – maybe Memphis or St. Louis – and start our own business. Maybe a nice little bistro – not a dump like yours, Mercy, full of old trolls from under a bridge...”
Well, thank you very much, Vonnie.
“...but a nice place with nice people – you know, in polite society. But then she called the whole thing off...said we were being foolish, and she wanted to stay with that...that...butcher.”
I could see the anger rising in her veins as she continued. “So, last Thursday morning Donny and I were in the hardware store. Everybody was talking about the big storm, and I saw Junior in there whispering to Hattie. I knew I couldn’t shoot Jonesy because they could trace the bullet back to my gun. I thought about framing Donny – everybody suspected he was having an affair with Josie anyway, so he’d have a good reason to kill Jonesy so he could have her all to himself.”
I didn’t suspect they were having an affair...
“So, I saw Junior walking up and down the aisles. I set one of those big hammers on the floor in the middle of the aisle just before he got to the tool aisle so he would pick it up and get his fingerprints all over it. I was always wearing my white gloves, so my prints wouldn’t get on it, you know. Of course, the fat fool took the bait. He picked it up and started playing with it, and then put in on top of the others. I just dropped it into my purse and walked out with it. Donny wanted to take me to breakfast at the diner, but I told him just to drop me off at home. I guess he went by himself, and I took my car out to Josie’s place and parked in the trees, out of sight. The rest was easy.”
“Tell us how you did it, Vonnie,” I asked. “I’m curious how you got that stake through his chest.”
“Oh, it was easy, Mercy! I called Josie, so I knew she had asked Carl to come home. I waited for him by the barn. He sent Josie into the storm cellar and came to secure the barn door. He used a crowbar to pull off the old board that had been holding the door closed, and that piece splintered off and fell to the ground. I surprised him when I went up to confront him, and he told me to get into the storm cellar. Ha! I started to beat on his chest with my fists, and he grabbed my arms real tight and pushed me away. You can still see the bruises...the beast.”
That’s why she was wearing long gloves lately...
“Well, he turned around to walk away, and I took the hammer out of my purse and smacked him in the back of the head.” She giggled a little. “He went down like a brick! Well, I was feeling pretty great, of course, but I wanted to make sure he was dead. So, I saw that piece of wood and used the hammer to pound it right through his heart. Pretty clever, don’t you think?” Then she laughed out loud. “Oh, it was so rich when I heard about Junior’s vampire story. Ha ha! I figured that would just make him look even more guilty, trying to shift the blame to a vampire killer! Well, then, of course, I went back to my car. My, God, that tornado was so scary! Thank goodness it went off in the other direction. Then I drove off, and you guys were too busy playing crime-fighter to even notice.”
Nope. I noticed.
“It’s all right, sweetheart!” the pastor hollered to his murderous wife. “It will be okay! We’ll move to St. Louis and open the business of your dreams!”
He was a slobbering mess, poor man. But the sun’s glow was starting to appear over the top of the saloon. I knew how far away a seven-yard target looked, and I figured she was not much further than that right now. I didn’t trust the accuracy of a paint ball gun outside of 25 feet, but Tully said this was a good one. I hoped he was right.
“Just put the gun down, honey,” the Pastor begged her, trying to sound calm and rational.
It was good that he was talking to her, but it did bring her eyes too close for me to make a move. Then I got my chance. A gust of wind came up and blew her hair into her face. As she put her hand in front of her eyes to brush it back I pulled the paint gun from the holster, aimed for a full second, and then shot. Splat! The ball hit her forehead with the force of a punch from a boxing glove and knocked her out. She fell straight backwards, her gun hand limp at her side.
“No! Noooooo!” The Pastor ran towards his wife, red paint streaming down her face and into her eyes. “Why? Why did you have to do that, Mercy? Why?!”
I knelt beside her next to him and wiped the paint off with my hand. “Pastor, it’s all right – paint. It’s just a paintball.” I put my arm around his shoulder, and he just crumbled and wept.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he whispered to his obviously disturbed wife. “We’re going to get you some help. It’s okay...everything’s okay.” She began to rouse and sat up.
Brody was standing over us now with his handcuffs dangling from his hand. I gave him a disapproving look, but he returned a look that told me that I couldn’t wave this off. I guess there are some procedures that just have to be followed. Just then there was the distinctive clicking sound of a rifle chambering a bullet coming from the side of the saloon.
Brody pounced into action and hoisted his Glock yet again. “Lordy, what now?” he said as he got between us and the new visitor.
“Don’t worry about it, Brody,” I said in a light-hearted tone. “There’s only one person around here who has a lever-action Winchester 1866. We’re over here, Deloris!”
She came cautiously around the corner of the building and saw that we had things under control. Josie Jones was following right behind her.
“Well you could have told me you’d be outside in this shooting gallery,” she groused in her inimitable style. “I was looking all over for you guys until Tully spotted me and sent me out here. Looks like you were right, Merse. Vonnie had Josie locked up in the pantry over there at her place. I saw her run across the lawn heading this way when I rang the doorbell for the umpteenth time, so I knocked on all the windows till I heard Josie hollering.”
The Pastor looked mortified. “I...I had no idea. I mean, I figured out that Vonnie had killed Jonesy, but...she was holding Josie in our house? I’m so sorry, Josie...”
Josie looked traumatized, but she managed to speak. “I don’t know how I got caught up in Vonnie’s big ideas, but she just made everything sound so amazing – and we did have a lot of fun getting out of the house. And now, poor Jonesy is dead!”
Within a few minutes it seemed like the whole town was gathered around us. Tully was out there with his .44 Magnum, and Stan drove right up to the blacksmith shop in his squad car. He took Vonnie into custody, and the others gradually went their own ways. Before long, Brody and I were alone again in the middle of main street in the little western town.
Brody looked at the sky and shielded his eyes from the sun, which was almost directly overhead now. He whistled a little bit of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly and then gave me a steely stare.
“Well, cowgirl,” he said in a really macho voice, “I reckon it’s about time for that showdown at high noon.”
His blue eyes had a hold on me that I was helpless to pull away from.
“On three,” he said taking my shoulders in his strong hands. “One...two...” Then he pulled me close and kissed me passionately on the lips. I swear I fell into a world where I could see his heart and mind as we kissed for a prolonged moment. I was still in a stunned silence as our lips gently parted, and my eyes once again locked onto his.
“Lunch?” he asked.
I nodded and took his arm with my both of my hands.
“I’m starving!”
We walked slowly back to the car as I savored this moment, which I knew was the beginning of something special. Then he looked at me with his impish grin.
“Well, Mercy Howard – ER nurse, business owner, sharpshooter, and super-sleuth extraordinaire – it seems when you take off your superhero cape, you’re a girl!”
I pressed my head against his shoulder as we walked. “Yup.” And you’re a man. “Well, you know, Brody – a big lady, woman-girl.” Hey, I didn’t want to lose my feminist card, but I was sure feeling like a girl at the moment.
He smiled. “My favorite kind.”
Epilogue
Saturday morning at the Old School Diner was the busiest I’d seen it since my Grand Opening. I think everyone in Paint Creek was there.
“Keep the coffee coming, Deloris!” Babs hollered cheerfully as she set the empty pot on the counter after her round of refills.
“I’m a waitress, not a magician, Babsy” Deloris bellyached with a hint of a smile on her lovely face, setting down a full pot and taking the empty one.
“Hey, beautiful,” Red said to Deloris, “where’s my flapjacks?”
“And my omelet!” Jake added.
“And my double-everything Lumberjack Breakfast with apple pie!” Junior chimed in. “I sure am hungry.”
The smoke alarm went off, and a grey cloud came billowing out of the pass-through window.
Deloris chuckled to herself. “Looks like it’s going to be a while, boys. Here’s some more coffee.”
Pastor D’Arnaud came in the door, wondering what kind of welcome he would receive now that his wife was a known murderer. The dining room did quiet down for a brief moment, but then Babs gave him a warm greeting and a big hug. The chatter and clinking of silverware on china went right back to normal. He looked around for a seat, but the place was full.
“Come with me, Pastor,” I said, taking his arm and leading him to a booth that had one side open. Josie Jones was sitting alone on the other side. The Pastor was nervous when he saw her, but Josie smiled and graciously nodded for him to sit down.
“You two have to figure out what to do with that butcher shop,” I said with a smile. “I’m getting a lot of complaints on the breakfast sausage I’ve been using lately, and it would great if we could get things back to normal. I’ll send Babs over...”
“Here’s coffee and a menu for you Pastor.” Babs swooped in with a full cup and topped off Josie’s. “The usual, Pastor? Or would you like a menu?”
He sighed. “Time for a fresh start. Let me see a menu, please, Babs.”
I walked back to the counter with Babs, and she whispered, “They make a really cute couple, don’t they, Mercy!”
I looked at her. “It’s a little early for that, Babs. She just lost her husband, and his wife is going to prison for murdering him – or maybe to a state psych ward.”
She picked up a hot order that Delois had ready for her. “It’s never too early to spend some time with a warm, wonderful person to help heal a hole in your heart, Mercy. The rest of it will come naturally – just you watch and see.”
Maybe she’s right. They’re both really sweet people. I sat back down with Brody in the small booth by the window.
“We’d better stand at the end of the counter and open up this booth for some paying customers,” Brody said.
No sooner had we stood up than Ronnie from the hardware store came in, carrying a pink toolbox. “Morning, Mercy! How’s that new latch working out for your little critters?”
“Oh! It’s really perfect, Ronnie. Thank you so much for doing that. I don’t have to cut myself on jagged metal anymore.” I motioned for him to sit in the small booth and took the pink toolbox. “This is so sweet of you to bring me one for the diner. I’ve already used the screwdrivers at home to put new blinds in the bedroom.”
Deloris came around took the toolbox from me. “That’s going right behind my counter, Mercy. The maintenance crew around here leaves a lot to be desired, so now I’ll be able to fix things myself.”
Ronnie looked a little taken aback, but I just waived it off and whispered to him, “That just means she’s having a good day!”
The door opened one more time.
“Arnie! You finally made it in here!”
“Oh, I’m not here to eat, Mercy. Tommy’s waiting for me outside...but we’ll be back for lunch. Promise! I just came to give you these,” he said dangling my shiny Mercedes car keys in front of me.
“Oh, my gosh!” I gave Brody an excited look, then I grabbed the keys and gave Arnie a big hug. I probably smelled like motor oil now, but that was okay. “My car is ready!”
Arnie stepped away from the door and motioned his head toward the glass. “There weren’t any parking spots right out front, so it’s there, across the street.”
It was shiny and clean and seemed to glisten in the sunlight. I could almost hear angels singing. Yeah, I really love that car. I turned to Brody and hopped up and down like a giddy child. “Let’s go!”
We headed out the door. “Thanks, Arnie! I’ll stop by soon so you can run my credit card!”
“You better bring a couple of them cards, Mercy...”
Nothing was going to put a damper on my day now, and I pulled Brody across the street at a full run. The convertible top was down, so I hopped over the door and started it up.
“Where are we going?” he asked as he buckled up.
“Somewhere where there aren’t any cops to give me a speeding ticket. Any ideas?”
“There’s a seven-mile straight-away on Highway 42. But keep it under 90 or I won’t be able to do anything if you get caught.”
“90 will do just fine, Brody,” I said as I pulled away from the curb. I could really feel the power of my little car. “42 is this way, so at least I won’t have to make an illegal U-turn to get there,” I chided.
Finally we were cruising with the wind in our hair.
“So, Mercy, how exactly did you figure out that Vonnie was the killer? I was kind of leaning toward the Pastor, especially when he was holding you hostage.”
“So was I, because I saw a blue-green car leave Jonesy’s in a hurry when we were all out there after the murder, and then I learned it was the Pastor’s car when Arnie was working on it. But everything didn’t fit, especially when you told me he always drives the little red car.”
“Yeah, there was certainly no evidence to take to the D.A.”
“And when we were at Tully’s you said something about a sweater hanging on the coat rack by the door at Josie’s house. I mean, people don’t usually use the rack by the door for their own sweaters. Jackets, yes, but not sweaters so much...”
“Mercy...”
“And I knew that Vonnie often wore sweaters, so...”
“Mercy...”
“So, I started to think it might be her. Some of the pieces, like the hammer, I didn’t have worked out yet, but...”
“Mercy...”
“What is it, Brody?”
“The sweater that was hanging on Josie’s coat rack...”
“Yeah?”
“That’s the same sweater she was wearing in the diner this morning. It’s her sweater, not Vonnie’s.”
“So...like...when I took the Pastor’s hand off me at the blacksmith shop...”
“Yeah...he still could have been the killer, when you rule out that evidence.”
“Oh...well, he wasn’t.”
“No, he wasn’t...and you figured out the real killer.”
It was a little unnerving, but everything worked out well. If I hadn’t been so sure that the Pastor wasn’t the killer, he might have a bullet in his head now, and everything would be so much different today. I decided to change the subject.
“So, Brody...what are we going to do about...”
“Us? That kiss? The undeniable attraction between us that we can’t get enough of?”
I looked straight ahead at the road and nodded.
He leaned a little
closer and put his hand on my shoulder. My whole body tingled. I looked at the speedometer, and we were at a very reasonable 77 mph.
“Well...” He ran his fingers through my hair just a little. “...after the situational, emotional, and romantic bonding we experienced yesterday, I would say that you’re my girl now.”
We were silent for a moment, and he put his hand back on my shoulder. I reached up and covered his hand with mine. It seemed so natural, and I knew he was exactly right.
MY GRANDMOTHER AND her church family put together a recipe book in 1950. My other grandmother was the President of the Ladies Homemaker Club in her hometown and they also put together a recipe book in about the same time period. Although the books are weathered with wear, I'm sure the recipes are still good today. Here are some of those recipes. Enjoy!
ke’s Meat Loaf
Smoke's Meatloaf
Ingredients:
1 pound ground sausage
2 pounds ground hamburger
2 eggs beaten
1 large onion chopped
8 to 10 saltine crackers crushed
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon pepper
1 red bell pepper, diced fine
1 Tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
½ cup ketchup
8 oz. can tomato sauce
Mix sausage, hamburger, eggs, onion, salt, pepper, red bell pepper, Worcestershire sauce and ketchup in a large mixing bowl. Add the crushed saltine crackers to the meat mixture. Add more crushed crackers if needed to form a tight loaf. Spread the tomato sauce over the top of the loaf.
Place the loaf in a greased 9x5 loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until the meat loaf is done. Allow the loaf to cool for 15 to 20 minutes after removing from the oven. Cooling the loaf will make it easier to slice. Enjoy!
MY GRANDMOTHER, LORENE Forgey's, recipe:
Chocolate Fudge Cake
Ingredients:
2 cups sifted flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
Murder at Stake Page 9