Jake grabbed my shoulders and set me away from him. I must have looked awful standing there in my cheetah pajamas, hair wild around my face, tears and snot running down my chin.
“Ali, I love you, we will always be family, I promise. I messed up kid. It’s better that I go,” he whispered gently.
He kissed me on the forehead and even as I shook my head no, he walked away and got into his father’s truck, and they left.
For a while, Jake and I had written to each other. I don’t know what had happened between him and Lela, and no one would discuss it with me, but Lela left for home two days later, and I didn’t see her again for several months.
When I finally heard from Lela again, it was to attend the memorial I’d had for my parents once I had been released from the hospital. It was then that she introduced me to her daughter, Pepper. The cute ragamuffin with red hair like Lela’s and big blue eyes had my heart before she even said her first shy hello. Lela told me that when she returned to Italy, she had met an older man, married him and had Pepper. I had always thought it was odd that she married at just shy of seventeen. Yet, I had been so caught up in my own grief that I never dug any further. Since then, Lela had married and divorced three times, and Pepper spent more time with me than her jet-setting mother.
It wasn’t that Lela was a terrible mother…okay, she was a terrible mother. The woman was so busy being caught up in living the high life and partying with whatever flavor of the week she was entertaining, that Pepper was more of an inconvenience than a treasure.
Pepper was all of fifteen now, and while Lela and I had discussed Pepper ‘behavior’ problems at great length, nothing ever seemed to change. Pepper acted out to get Lela’s attention; then Lela called me, and I would deal with whatever boarding school teacher or counselor that needed a conference. However, Pepper’s last stunt, which I secretly applauded, had Pepper releasing all of the ducks that the headmaster in her private school in Canada had been keeping for the annual duck hunt. Pepper had tried to get a petition started to end the hunt, but her principal had put a quick end to it. In a last ditch attempt, Pepper had broken into the aviary on campus and released all the birds the night before the event.
Of course, the event was canceled, the headmaster was embarrassed, and Pepper hadn’t counted on there being video cameras in the aviary catching her every move. Of course, Lela had paid for the birds, Pepper was kicked out of another private school, and the headmaster only agreed not to press charges if Pepper attended this camp for troubled teens.
While I can’t condone breaking and entering, I understood where Pepper’s heart was. Still, she needed to complete this camp or get sent to Juvenile Hall, something that would stay on her record until she was eighteen.
When Lela and I had briefly discussed my taking Pepper to camp, since Lela was so busy with her new husband in Milan, she had promised to email me the details. Instead, she had dropped the moody teen off at the sanctuary gates with a backpack, a suitcase and a wad of cash.
“Okay, so can I go see Nala?” she asked as she smacked the gum she was chewing.
I knew Pepper loved the animals as much as I did. However, I never allowed her to enter any of the enclosures alone, except Lady. She was the falcon that had lost her eye to bb pellet when I was young. Although she could probably be just fine and survive anywhere, she always returned to Lions, Tigers, and Bears Animal Sanctuary because she was family. Her enclosure was the only one with a secret doorway at the top that you would never know was even there if someone didn’t show you. My mother had insisted on it when she’d built Lady’s habitat. She wanted Lady to have the freedom to go with the knowledge that she would always have a home.
Pepper and Lady had a special connection. When Pepper would visit, Lady would find a perch nearby and just keep the moody teen company. Sometimes I would find Pepper confiding in Lady’s watchful gaze, I swear that Falcon understood everything Pepper said. My mother always told me that animals can bond to people, a relationship that transcends species. It was obvious that was the case with Lady and Pepper. As for Nala, I was anxious to get the money together to build a lake for her enclosure. While she had elevation, trees, and thirty acres to roam, I hated having to take her all the way into Baloo’s habitat so she could enjoy his lake. Not that Baloo minded, all the animals had been socialized together, and not once had any of them been aggressive toward each other. It was as if they accepted each other like family, just like they accepted me.
None of my animals ever judged me or, or loved me less because I couldn’t run as fast as they could, or I sometimes face planted when my leg would give out on me. They just loved me, and I loved them back with everything I had. I had succeeded with my animals where I had failed with people, unconditional love.
“You can go help Trevor with the animals, but you have to listen to him and remember to..”
“I know, I know respect that these are wild animals that have animal instincts, don’t let your guard down.” She finished the rule I had drilled into her head since the first time she had come to the ranch.
She had been quick to point out that I engaged with Baloo on a far more personal level than the other animals, which was true. But Baloo and I were like kindred spirits. Still, I knew the risk I took. Baloo could kill me with one swipe of his massive paw, even with his teeth filed down the jaw pressure enough could crack bone. I couldn’t help it, I felt nothing but safe with Baloo. However, I was always careful to track his body language to make sure he wasn’t stressed or upset. Nothing was more unreliable than the actions of a stressed out grizzly bear.
As soon as Pepper ran out the door, I picked up the phone and dialed my sister’s number.
“Hi, Ali! I take it Pepper made it in okay?” Lela asked in her fake, singsong voice.
Sighing, I started thumbing through the mail that Trevor had sat on my desk.
“Yeah, she did! Thanks for the heads-up by the way,” I complained. I was sure I sounded bitchy, but Lela always seemed too busy for her own kid, and it just irked me.
Like always, Lela sighed like she was speaking to some village peasant. “I know I emailed you all the information for the camp, I even sent all the details in Pepper’s backpack, I honestly don’t even know what could have happened, you should have it,” She protested.
I hated the tired game that Lela and I always played. She knew damn well that there was no email in my inbox, that the only details I would find would be those papers she had probably shoved in Pepper’s backpack, right before she pushed her out of the cab.
“You didn’t even have time to stop in and say hello, you just dropped off Pepper at the gate and took off,” I pointed out, not even bothering to address her email remark. I hadn’t actually set eyes on Lela in about four years, anytime Pepper showed up I usually picked her up at the airport. The poor kid had logged more miles than Delta, the way Lela was always shuffling her around.
“Oh, um…well, I didn’t actually fly into town with Pepper, but I did arrange a car service to bring her to you,” My sister explained as if she had done me a huge solid by putting my teenage niece in a car with a strange man!
I put my cell against my forehead and proceeded to beat it into my head. Trying to figure out what to say to my sister, without exploding, I picked up a familiar looking white envelope with my name on it. Shit.
“Damn,” I muttered.
“Ali? What is it? You’re mad, aren’t you? I just can’t stand all those animals and such, Ali…you understand right?” Her pleading voice only slightly brought my attention from the envelope that I dreaded opening.
“Yeah, it’s fine…I have to go,” I ended the call and threw my cell on the table.
Pushing up from my chair I paced back and forth, glaring at the white, pristine size ten, envelope; hoping it would burst into flames if I just concentrated hard enough.
After about three minutes, my leg began to ache and I conceded that despite my desire to make random objects burst into flames, Firestar
ter I wasn’t.
“Alison, my love, you shouldn’t be pacing on your bad leg,” Drawled a sappy, condescending blast from my stupid years.
The offending envelope forgotten, I turned to face my concerned looking, ex-husband. Not him too, can’t a girl catch a break?
It never failed to amaze me at how nieve I had been when I had married the man that stood before me. It was a wonder there was any air left in the room, the way his arrogant, egotistical self-was sucking it all up. Still, I could grudgingly admit that just into his fifties, the man still had a head full of dirty blonde hair that he combed like Donald Trump. It was his expensive slacks and safari shirts that made him look like he was a Crocodile Dundee throwback. There was a time when those blue eyes and suntanned face would’ve made my heart pound with excitement, now it beat with apprehension.
I didn’t know what Richard’s angle was. About a year ago he’d suddenly declared that he wanted us to get back together, he was even willing to leave his gaudy, mansion in the snobby hills of McDonald Ranch to live here at the sanctuary. That was probably more startling than his claim of wanting to be with me again. Richard was nothing if not materialistic, he found no joy in training the animals he worked with, he was all about the fame and money. Why he was willing to leave his marble floors and champagne fountains for bear shit and dirt roads, I had no idea. I did, however, know that it wasn’t because he suddenly realized he was still in love with me and had to have me back in his life. There was no way I was going back down that road again.
“Gee Richard, slow day?” I asked as I covered up the envelope I had been about to open with a pile of other mail.
His blue eyes narrowed and an angry looked passed over his face before he plastered on a fake smile and took a seat at my dinner table. Not that I ever had dinner on it, mainly because I used it as a desk. I wasn’t the most organized person, so I found if I kept everything out where I could see it, I wouldn’t lose it. Hey, you call it messy…I call it methodical madness.
Making himself comfortable he pulled up one pant leg slightly and raised his other leg to rest his ankle on it. I’m sure this was all so I could admire his five hundred dollar shoes that I was sure were imported from Italy. Looking down at my Payless tennis shoes, I smiled. If there was ever a picture of the differences between us, this was it.
“Come and sit down for a minute Alison, we never talk anymore like we used to,” his voice made it sound more like a command than a request.
I snorted at his arrogance. The man just couldn’t seem to get it through his head that I wasn’t a stupid seventeen year old, with stars in her eyes.
“Yeah, that’s the beauty of divorce Richard, we don’t have to talk anymore,” I told him placing my hands on the back of the chair and putting most of the weight on my good leg. While, I would have loved to sit and get off my bad leg, since it had been acting up all morning, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
My victory was short lived because before I could take my next breath, he was out of his seat, moving the chair I was gripping out of my hands and clamping his hands on my shoulders in a painful grip.
“Come on Ali-Gator, don’t be so dismissive.” He purred, calling me the pet name that I had found so endearing when I was younger.
Pushing his thick hands off my shoulders, I walked around the end of the table wanting something solid in between us.
“Don’t call me that Richard, what are you doing here anyway?”
“Direct like always, Alison.” He practically sneered. I didn’t miss the way his hands clenched like he was trying to keep control.
“Yeah, that happens when you grow up, Richard. Now, I have a lot of things to do today so why don’t we just forego all the bullshit, and you tell me what you want, I tell you no, and we part ways.” I suggested.
The calculating look in his eyes said he was going to want something I wasn’t going to want to give. Since he had come in person, that meant he didn’t want to give me the chance to hang up on him again.
“I want to have Baloo perform at the Centennial performance at the Riviera in October,” he said locking his glaring gaze on mine.
“No,” I said just as quickly, “I think you know the way out, if not I’m sure Trevor can show you,” I said coldly.
His patience apparently gone, he shoved a chair to the floor and ran an angry hand through his blonde hair. He’s not nearly as sexy when he’s frustrated as Matt is.
Whoa? Where had that come from? Still, even I had to admit that Matt being frustrated was almost a turn on, while Richard being frustrated just pissed me off.
“Come on Alison, this would be good publicity for your precious Sanctuary,” he sneered sarcastically.
I laughed bitterly, “I’m sure you have my best interest at heart Richard, just like always, but the answer is no,” I said firmly as I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for the implosion that was coming.
Right on cue, Richard began pacing back and forth while he cursed, yelled and called me everything from damaged goods to a crippled old spinster. There had been a time when those names would have crushed me, where I would have collapsed to the floor and cried, but that was the old Alison, the one that believed that my self-worth hinged on how much Richard loved me.
“I don’t want your publicity, Baloo does not perform, and if he did he would never perform for you especially after the way you treated him,” I shouted having to yell over his ranting. There was no way Baloo would ever do anything for Richard again, not after the way Richard had abused him and had sent him away to that terrible man that had filed Baloo’s teeth. I still got nightmares sometimes when I remembered the awful whimpering noises that Baloo made when we brought him back to the ranch. I swore I would never forget the fear in that big grizzly’s eyes as he cowered in the back of enclosure we’d built for him. Baloo had struggled to adjust to the soft foods diet that he was forced to consume because the teeth he had once used to tear the flesh off Salmon or other meat, were now small stubs.
“Then he’s an idiot and so are you!” He shouted right back as he rounded the table and pointed a long, bony finger in my face. “You and I both know you can’t keep this place afloat on the measly grants you get and the school tours. I offered you a way out of all this debt, but you’re going to let your stubborn pride cause you to lose this place,” he yelled so close to me that his spittle hit my cheek.
Pissed beyond measure that he was acting like he was doing me such a favor by wanting me back, I shoved him out of my personal space and then pushed him once more for good measure.
“Don’t do me any favors, Richard! I don’t need your pity, I don’t need you to save me. I am doing just fine and taking care of my family! Don’t ever ask me to consider giving us a second chance Richard because I was an idiot to give someone like you the first one!” I screeched.
I was so mad that I went to shove past him but was grabbed by my arms and off my feet before I could even gasp. I felt my back hit the wall, and the air left my lungs as he pushed his angry face into mine. Gone was the fake smile and interested stare. Here was the real Richard; the Richard he had somehow kept hidden from me before we’d gotten married.
“You think someone else is going to want you?” He shouted as he slammed me back against the wall. His hands gripped my arms so tight I was starting to lose feeling. The stars dancing in my vision weren’t helping to clear my head either.
“If no one wants me, EVER, it’s still a step up from you asshole!” I shouted after finally finding my big girl voice. I had always cowered to Richard, always felt like I was lucky he wanted me, not anymore. Now, I felt lucky that I had gotten out of that toxic relationship!
“You think someone wants a broken, dull, scarred woman with dirt under her nails?” he more stated than asked as I still dangled about a foot off the floor.
Suddenly, his face changed. He looked at my lips, then his gaze flickered down my green cotton button-down shirt and blue jeans. I shook my head when his eye
s finally roamed their way back to mine, and his blue lust filled stare met my hard, don’t even think about it, one.
Using his body to press into mine he grabbed my shirt where it buttoned on my chest and pulled it apart in one loud riiiip! Buttons clattered to the floor, and I struggled as he tried to shove my white, lacy bra off my shoulders. I didn’t remember him being this strong, this vicious but then he had seemed to be getting more and more desperate lately for me give in to his demands to give our marriage another shot.
“Stop, let go of me you bastard!” I screamed as loud as I could, hoping Trevor or Pepper would hear me before Richard did something I couldn’t recover from.
He was like an animal tearing at my blouse and bra until they were ripped from my body and thrown to the floor. Catching him with a right cross to his cheek, he howled in anger and then I was airborne and being slammed back first onto the table. The very table my father had built with his own hands from a scrub Oak that had gotten knocked down by lightning when I was younger.
Not sure where he was going with this assault but refusing to just lie here and take it, I kicked out with my good leg and caught him square in the chest. He backed up a few feet, and I scrambled off the table and cried out as my bad leg suddenly spasmed painfully and gave out. I hit the hardwood floor with a loud thump and ignored his cruel laughter as I scooted to the wall, grabbing my torn shirt and bra in the process and dragged myself to a sitting position while my leg throbbed in pain.
“You see, who’s going to want a cripple? A scarred cripple at that,” he laughed as he pointed to the scars below my breasts that reached all the way to my belly button.
Hating that my tears refused to stop falling, I clutched my shirt closer to hide the hideous reminder of my parent’s death. Richard’s cruel laughter filled my head, and I wished I had taken Trevor’s advice and kept a loaded gun on me at all times.
No Refunds No Exchanges: A Hudson Family Series- Book 4- Matt and Ali Page 12