Violet sat at the desk in the shed, staring at the work schedule for the next two weeks. She could have switched on the small lamp beside her. Today, she preferred the sunlight filtering in through the window, grimy panes, cobwebs and all, to an artificial yellow glow.
All at once, the names and dates on the schedule floated before her eyes as a wave of intense nausea hit.
“No,” she mumbled, “not again.”
Stacking her arms on the desk, she laid her head down and waited for the queasiness to pass. It wasn’t entirely unusual for morning sickness to continue into the second trimester. She’d been feeling a lot better these past few weeks, then, bam! She was back to this uneasy roller-coaster ride.
She kept assuring herself the lousy way she felt was entirely the result of changes in her body due to pregnancy, and had no connection whatsoever to the state of her personal life—which happened to be in crisis.
Groaning, she lifted her head slightly and spotted the tin waste basket beside the desk. It would do if in a pinch she failed to reach the bathroom in time.
Several minutes and two dry crackers later, the nausea receded. Sips from her water bottle also helped. Eventually, she resumed studying the schedule, though she still found it hard to concentrate.
Four hundred fewer steers were going to make a difference in the workload and reduce the burden her half-day schedule had put on Cole and the ranch hands.
Then again, that might change when he left. She’d heard about Gabe and Josh offering to buy his share of the ranch with proceeds from the sale. The remaining funds had been deposited yesterday, and the transport trucks arrived bright and early. Josh had overseen the loading of the steers. Violet stopped by to watch but hadn’t stayed.
When the family didn’t get together last night for a big dinner, Violet assumed Cole had accepted his brothers’ offer. That only made sense. Without money from the sale to pay off the remainder of August’s medical bills, there had been no reason to celebrate.
Gabe and Raquel wanted Cole to stay. They hadn’t said it out loud, but she could tell they’d come to love him. She thought Cole might love them, too, and was just as tight-lipped.
A sharp knock caused her to glance up. Cara stood in the open doorway.
“Am I interrupting?”
“Not at all.” Violet motioned to her friend and sat up straighter, pushing the schedule aside. “I’m pretty much done.”
“I saw your truck parked outside and wanted to see how you’re doing. Raquel mentioned you’ve been looking pale lately.”
There was no chair for Cara to sit on. Brushing a thick layer of dust off an old wooden box, she delicately lowered herself onto it.
“Morning sickness,” Violet complained. “Even in the middle of the afternoon. It comes and goes.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
Violet shook her head. “I’ll be fine.”
“Well, let me know.”
“Hey, congratulations on your engagement, by the way. I haven’t had a chance to tell you.”
“Thanks.” Cara’s entire face lit up.
“You must be excited.”
“I never dreamed I’d get married again. Just goes to show you how things can change.”
Violet couldn’t agree more. Here she was, fourteen weeks pregnant. Who’d have guessed? And who’d have guessed her baby’s father would be leaving soon without her lifting a finger to stop him.
Should she? Did she even want to? Why hadn’t he told her in person? He owed her that much.
Cara jumped to her feet and held out her hand, showing off her new ring. Violet rose slowly, careful of her unpredictable stomach, and leaned in for a closer inspection.
“It’s beautiful.”
“I love it,” Cara admitted, on the verge of tears. “We picked it out together. You don’t think that’s unromantic, do you? Shopping for a ring together?”
“It’s wonderfully romantic.” Violet pulled her friend close for a quick hug. “Have you picked a date yet?”
“August twenty-fifth.”
“So soon!”
“Why wait?” A rosy glow colored Cara’s cheeks.
Why indeed? “I’m really happy for you,” Violet said. “And I expect to be included in all the wedding activities. Shower. Dress buying. Reception planning.”
“Well, since you brought it up, I’d really like for you to be one of my bridesmaids.”
A knot of pain instantly formed in Violet’s chest. Cole would no doubt be in the wedding party, too, as Josh’s best man. Could she handle it?
She’d have to find a way. There was no other choice.
Hugging Cara again, she said, “I’d love to be your bridesmaid. As long as you don’t mind my big belly showing.”
“Are you kidding? I’m thrilled about your belly.”
“Me, too.”
The knot of pain doubled in size, and Violet fought for control. Her emotions were getting the best of her today. She was delighted for Cara. She was also a tiny bit jealous. Had things gone differently with Cole, she might be getting married, too, and asking Cara to be her bridesmaid.
“You’re going to be a wonderful mother.” Cara suddenly became emotional and blinked quickly, as if she might cry. A moment later, her eyes misted.
Violet drew back to gaze at her. “Are you okay?”
“I haven’t told anyone.” Cara sniffed. “Swear you won’t say a word until Josh and I are ready. I don’t want...in case...”
Violet gasped. All at once, she knew. “You’re pregnant!”
“Not even a month along. I took the home pregnancy test yesterday and I go to the doctor on Tuesday.”
“Oh, Cara.” Violet was truly pleased for her friend.
“I wasn’t sure after Javier died if I could bear having another child.” Her smile was both infectious and heart wrenching. “I haven’t been this happy in years.”
“No guilt. You’re entitled to all the happiness you can find.”
“You, too, you know.”
Violet shrugged. “I guess it wasn’t in the cards. I mean, I am happy. About the baby.” Her own tears threatened to fall. “It’s different this time. I’m going to carry to term. I swear I can almost feel the baby growing inside me.”
“Of course you will. And your baby will be gorgeous.”
Would he or she look like Cole, with his incredible blue eyes?
Violet tried to smile. Her mouth, however, refused to cooperate.
“What happened between you and Cole, if you don’t mind me asking?” Cara’s eyes filled with sympathy. “Did it have to do with your parents?”
“Yes, and his mom. But there’s more to it than that. The debacle at dinner...it brought out our worst insecurities, and we let them derail us.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, if our relationship had been strong enough to start with, he wouldn’t have been scared off so easily.”
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think it’s more than insecurities.”
“What?” Violet’s interest was genuine. She’d had only her own opinions to mull over this past week.
“Come on.” Cara nodded toward the door. “We need some fresh air and sunshine. This place is stuffy.”
Leaving the dusty, dreary shed, they walked toward the stalls where the therapy horses resided. During their stroll, Violet recounted the details of her and Cole’s disagreement, trying not to lay the blame at his feet, but fearing she had.
“Can you understand how he feels?” Cara asked. “Much as we loved August, he set a horrible example for Cole and Josh. Their mother, too.” She rolled her eyes. “I still can’t believe how selfish she is.”
“She was hurt badly by August,” Violet said. “He had a child wi
th another woman while they were still married.”
“That doesn’t give her the right to prejudice her sons against him.”
“No?”
“You’re not supporting Miranda?” Cara looked aghast.
“August was wonderful to me. I’ll be forever grateful to him. But he was also a first-class jerk to his wife and children. All his children. What he did wasn’t fair.” She hadn’t realized that until Cole showed her a side of August she hadn’t known. “He should have divorced Miranda before taking up with Raquel. And he should have fought harder to maintain a relationship with Cole and Josh. Their anger at him is justified. It’s the reason Cole’s afraid of making a commitment.”
Violet paused and drew in a breath, her short speech draining her. If only she’d made it up to Cole when she had the chance. If only she’d listened to him instead of constantly defending August. Cole might not be leaving now.
She and Cara stopped in front of a stall and Cara patted a gentle mare called Mama. The horse was one of several examples of how much Cole was needed here.
“I should have been more patient with him,” Violet admitted. “Except patience isn’t my strong suit.”
“Don’t give up, Violet.” Cara spoke with vehemence. “If you do, you’ll be right back where you started. Having a baby alone isn’t what you want, I don’t care what you say. You love Cole, and he loves you.”
“Not enough.”
Violet had been blind before. She’d refused to see that until Cole let go of his anger at his father, he was incapable of forming a healthy and loving relationship with her or with anyone.
“August tried to make amends in the end,” Cara said in a mournful voice. “That counts for something.”
“It does. He reunited Gabe and Josh. And to a lesser degree, Gabe and Cole.”
Cara faced Violet, a change in her expression. “Have you talked to him lately?”
“No.” Violet mustered her courage. “How is he?”
“You should ask him yourself.”
“When’s he leaving?”
“Violet,” Cara said earnestly, “he’s not.”
“No?”
“What made you think that?”
Violet couldn’t answer right away. The shock had yet to wear off. “His brothers paid him for his share of the ranch. Raquel told me.”
“He didn’t take their offer.”
“Why?”
Cara stared at her in astonishment. “I’d think you’d be glad.”
“I...am.”
“Then go talk to him. He’s in section four. A few of the young steers escaped the roundup. He’s locating them now.”
Violet didn’t move.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
“Violet.” Cara took her by both shoulders. “There’s only one reason he refused the offer. You.”
“He feels responsible for the baby.”
“He does. But he wouldn’t have to stay to be a responsible father.”
“What do I say to him?”
“You’ll think of something on the way.”
When Violet still didn’t move, Cara gave her a nudge. “Go on. Get out of here.”
“But I—”
“You have nothing to lose. More importantly, you have a lot to gain.”
She did. Except the last time she’d crawled out on that limb for Cole, she’d fallen off and was still smarting from the hard landing.
“I’m scared,” she admitted.
“Don’t let that stop you. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life, trust me. I spent too many years playing the what-if game, and it got me nothing but misery. When I finally stopped, my whole life changed.”
She made it sound easy. “What if he says no?”
Cara grinned. “What if he says yes?”
Could she be right? Had Cole turned down his brothers because he wanted to give the two of them a second chance? There was only one way to find out.
Saying goodbye to Cara, Violet hurried to her truck. At the gate leading to the pastures, she turned southwest. Section four lay a mile and a half ahead.
As she drove the narrow and bumpy road, she couldn’t shake the sensation she was driving straight into her future, one that included Cole.
* * *
“MOVE ALONG, SLOWPOKE.” Cole herded the final reluctant steer toward the livestock trailer.
At the last second, it cut to the right and tried to run. In a flash, Hotshot pivoted, blocking the steer and leaving it no choice but to clamber into the trailer as the four others before him had done.
Dismounting, Cole held the reins in one hand and slammed the trailer door with his other. “We’re good to go,” he hollered to Joey, and secured the latch.
The ornery steer bellowed and kicked in protest, making a loud racket. He disliked being forced to ride in an enclosed vehicle, even if it would deliver him to the herd grazing two sections over.
Joey hung his left arm and his head out the driver’s side window. “Meet you back at the ranch,” he said, and waved.
Cole watched the truck and trailer pull forward, reluctant to mount Hotshot and ride home. He preferred the solitude of these wide-open spaces after the past few tension-filled weeks.
Between his mother and Vi’s parents and all the dissension they’d wreaked; his disagreement with Vi; the arrival of the transport vehicles and the departure of the purchased steers, not to mention the pressure from his brothers to accept or decline their offer, he was tired. More tired than he could ever remember being.
“Let’s go home, boy.”
Tossing the reins over Hotshot’s neck, he put his boot in the stirrup and swung easily up into the saddle. It was his favorite, the one he’d used most for rodeoing, and it fit him well. Like his hat, the saddle had seen him through many a time, both good and bad. With luck, it would see him through this next phase of his life.
Hotshot needed no directing. Lowering his head, he automatically started toward the ranch at an easy pace.
Cole commended himself yet again for choosing this horse from among hundreds. The gelding had made incredible progress. The same could also be said about the pony Cole was training for Blake Nolan.
During Blake’s visit with his kids the day before, he’d complimented Cole on the pony’s great strides in such a short time. He’d promised to spread the word and for Cole to expect new clients, along with a bonus. Already Cole had received one referral and been ridiculously pleased.
Vi, it seemed, was right. Cole had options other than rodeoing and returning to California. He’d simply been too stubborn to see.
Speaking of stubborn, he should have called her, if only to check on her health. Instead, he’d relied on getting news of her secondhand from Raquel, who couldn’t hide her displeasure when she’d reported that Vi’s morning sickness had returned.
She wanted Cole to reconcile with Vi. He wanted it, too. At least, he wanted theirs to be an amicable relationship. How could they successfully parent their child if they didn’t get along? Except he was clueless when it came to patching up their differences, having never done it before, and having no example in his family to follow. The Dempseys didn’t mend bridges. Rather, they let them burn to the ground.
There were also all Vi’s quick turns in the opposite direction and obvious attempts at avoiding him to consider. He might want to attempt a reconciliation, but she obviously didn’t. He fully expected her to slam the door in his face if he attempted to see her.
Give her more time, he told himself. She hadn’t had much of an example to follow, either, between her parents and her marriage to Denny.
Waiting would be hard, however. Cole needed Vi. Was lost without her. Looking back, he realized theirs had been the kind of relat
ionship he’d thought wasn’t possible. One he’d made impossible by royally screwing up. He should have shown her how much she meant to him. Got down on his knees like Josh had said. Instead, he’d walked away.
Letting his thoughts drift, he listened to the rhythmic clip-clop of Hotshot’s hoofs. It suddenly occurred to him how much he’d come to enjoy life on a cattle ranch. With the remainder of his dad’s medical bills soon to be paid off, he might actually be able to carve out a decent living. Especially with the occasional horse-training client. He might even talk to the Powells about those roping clinics.
What would his father say to hear that Cole liked ranching and had decided to stay on? The old man was probably right now having himself a good laugh, if such a thing were possible in the afterlife.
Raising his arm, Cole shaded his eyes from the blistering sun and squinted into the distance. Was that a truck on the rise? As he watched, the speck grew steadily larger.
He jerked back on the reins. Were his eyes playing tricks on him? Could that possibly be Vi’s pickup?
His heart jammed to a halt before starting up again in triple time. It was Vi’s truck! What was she doing, driving all the way out here?
He cautioned himself to remain calm and waited in the middle of the road, Hotshot bobbing his head. She stopped about ten feet in front of him. The next moment, the door opened and she emerged. Standing there, she looked straight at him. Surprise, surprise, no averting her eyes or ducking behind corners.
“Hi,” she said.
Cole stayed in the saddle. “If you’re here to check on me—”
“I’m not.”
“Really.”
“No need. I’m sure the stray steers have been rounded up.”
“For the record, they have.”
“You’re doing a good job, Cole. I should have told you that before.”
He nodded, her praise meaning more to him than he cared to admit. “Thanks.”
“I’m glad, because it looks like I’m going to continue at half days for the rest of my pregnancy. I’ll also be taking off a few months when the baby’s born. Dos Estrellas is going to need a dependable and competent livestock manager to cover for me.”
“You don’t have to worry, Vi. I’m not leaving.”
Having the Rancher's Baby Page 19