by Ha Jin
We actually sprinted back to our company barracks to get guns. Running in front of me, Squad Leader Shi never stopped cursing Vice Squad Leader Hsu and Wang Min. “Damn it, I’ll do the two asses in! They ruined us all. I’ll finish them off!”
Our company got on four trucks and were driven to the Eastern Airport. On the way we saw lights on in all the other barracks and heard people shouting and trucks moving everywhere. The entire city was going into action. Our trucks were running at full speed. Mosquitoes and moths struck our faces while Platoon Leader Fang, clutching the panel of the truck, was busy dividing us into groups. Each group had three men who were to stay together in the search.
The trucks pulled up in front of the building at the airport. We jumped down. Interpreter Jiao, Hsu Jiasu, and Wang Min ran over. Shi clutched the vice squad leader’s upper arm and cursed, “Screw your ancestors! You undid us all!”
“Old Shi, listen to me. Please listen —”
“Cut it out!” Platoon Leader Fang shouted. “Shi Hsiang, let him go. I said let go! You think you can get away with this? I tell you, you are the one responsible. If we can’t bring Number One back, we’ll all go home turning up dirt clods. Stop biting each other, man. Save your breath for the job. Hsu Jiasu, you go join the sixth group, and Wang Min, you go with the seventh group.”
The two squad leaders stood among their groups motionless as Wang Min walked over to our group. “Remember,” the platoon leader went on, “keep fifty meters between groups and don’t move too fast.”
We started to search. Meng Dong led our group, which included Wang Min and me. We walked slowly in a cornfield, trying hard to see if there was something hidden in the field’s ditches. The corn leaves lashed our faces time and again, but we dared not complain. It was terrifying to make our way through the crops. The cornstalks were thick and taller than we were, and we couldn’t see our neighboring groups. We only heard them proceeding quietly. The most frightening part was that we didn’t know if Lev had a gun with him, though we had been told that he had not stolen any of our pistols. He was in the dark and could observe us moving. If we ran into him, surely he would shoot first. Full of fear, we used our rifles to remove the cornstalks in our way, always keeping the barrels pointed at the darkness ahead.
After combing the cornfield, we entered a soybean field. This was less frightening, since we could see other groups advancing with us in a line. Then we got into a cabbage field. God knows how many cabbages we trampled. Behind us the field was scarred with numerous dark tracks.
In front of us, two German shepherds, accompanied by some officers, were dashing in opposite directions along a brook. One of the dog handlers was carrying Lev’s pillow, and the other was holding Lev’s washbasin. They threw the pillow and the basin to the dogs time after time to refresh their memory of Lev’s smell so that they could pick up his trail. There were six dogs all together, running about and barking, but none of them was any good. They ran in six directions, so the officers soon lost interest in them.
In the beginning we dared not talk. After crawling through four fields, Wang Min couldn’t contain himself anymore and started cursing. We asked him how in the world the whole thing had happened. He said it was nobody’s fault. Lev, the son of a wolf, wanted to make a fool of us on purpose:
“We were playing cards, and he said … he wanted to go to the bathroom. I went with him — Watch your step, Song Ming — I saw him squat down and — as usual, waited outside for him to finish. I waited for ten minutes, and he didn’t come out. Interpreter Jiao … and Hsu Jiasu came to see what … was going on — Slow down a bit, Old Meng. We have to wait for the other groups — We three went in the bathroom. Lev was still squatting there, so we came back out. Then we heard a thump, and we went in again. Lev was not there! He had jumped out the window. We leaned on the window … and saw him down there staggering along … toward the cornfield.
“ ‘Halt! Le-v, halt! Come back, Lev!’ we shouted from upstairs. He didn’t even turn his head, just walked straight ahead, and disappeared in the field. Interpreter Jiao didn’t know what to do. He could only shout, ‘Just look at that, just look at that!’ Hsu Jiasu told him … to call the headquarters. Then we both ran out looking for Lev in the fields.”
“Did you find him?” Meng Dong sounded rather serious.
“Damn you, Old Meng. You can still joke about it.”
“You shouldn’t have tried. It was impossible you two could get him back.”
“You may be right, but we had to do it. It’s a part of the job, you know.”
“What will you do if we catch him?” I asked Wang Min.
“I’ll make him drink horse pee!”
“I’ll increase his meal expenses,” Meng said. We all laughed.
“Hey, stop laughing, men,” Ma Lin shouted at us. He was in the group on our left. “We’re all going to the hill ahead and beat the woods.”
We set out for the foot of the hillock. Lev’s escape puzzled us. Did he plan to meet someone, an agent, at a certain place? Did he know in what direction Russia was? He must have known, otherwise what was the good of escaping? Did he have weapons and food with him? Why did he run away just a week before the National Day? Was he joining someone in order to destroy a factory or blow up a bridge on October 1? None of these questions could be answered. But one thing we were all certain about — if he knew his whereabouts, he would be able to return to Russia, because it was midfall now and the crops could cover him. Though more than thirty thousand troops and militia were in the operations, there was no way that we could go through every place in this vast area of eleven counties and three cities. Besides, he was a live creature and could move about to avoid us. More to his advantage was that he would not starve in the season of harvest, since there were fresh beans, corn, potatoes, and vegetables in the fields everywhere and even ripe fruits in the mountains. As long as he knew his bearings, he could get back to Russia. It seemed somebody among us must have accepted his bribery and told him that he was in Longmen. If Lev succeeded in hiding out or crossing the border, then everyone in our squad would be suspected. We had to bring him back to clear ourselves.
It was one o’clock now. We had been searching for almost five hours without rest. Whoever we came across, soldiers or militia, would curse “The Russian Big Nose,” “The Polar Bear,” “The Russian Hairy Beast.” They didn’t know Lev’s name, or what he looked like. We dared not tell them, because he had broken loose from our hands. Also, Lev was really an egg of a turtle, deserving any name. We had treated him so well, but he betrayed us and made us crawl around on a dark night like this, hungry and exhausted.
We hadn’t brought overcoats and food, nor could we go back and fetch them. The orders stated clearly: “Do not return until you find him.” After five hours’ walk, we were tired out and dying to eat something. There were edibles in the fields, but none of us dared touch them. The Second Rule for the Army says never take anything that belongs to the people, so we tried hard to stand the hunger and went on searching.
But we couldn’t keep this up. It was cold. Dewdrops fell on us from the tops of the crops, and our clothes were soaked through. Without food in our stomachs, we felt as if our bones were hollow inside and couldn’t help trembling.
We entered a turnip field where sorghum also grew. Between every dozen rows of turnips, there were four or five rows of sorghum. Every group was walking in its own turnip strip and couldn’t see the other groups in the adjacent strips. Wang Min said, “Can’t we have a tur-turnip?” His teeth were chattering.
“It’s gnawing inside,” I said, kneading my stomach.
“Why not?” Meng Dong kicked down a turnip. He tore off the leaves and began gobbling.
We all got our turnips. Wang Min stabbed the head of his turnip with his bayonet to get rid of the leaves. “Don’t use the bayonet. It’s poisonous,” Meng warned him.
Wang was a new soldier and forgot that. He threw away the turnip and pulled up another one, as big as a baby.
Soon we all stopped talking and ate quietly. We were afraid that the groups on both sides might know what we were doing, so we tried to make as few noises as possible. Who knew what they were doing? They might have been eating turnips too. People all at once fell into silence, and we only heard muffled footsteps advancing.
I finished the turnip and yanked up another. Meng got his second one too. Wang’s was too big to finish. Thank God, the field was long, and I could eat up the second turnip before we got out of it.
Now it was two-thirty, and we were told to pull up and get two hours’ sleep. Our company leaders must have thought that the search would last for days, so they didn’t want to wear us out too soon. We all sat down on a flattish slope that separated a soybean field and an oak wood, but this time everybody stayed by himself and kept a distance of thirty meters from the next man.
Soon it became quiet, and only a few barking dogs could be heard vaguely. Stars hung loosely in the dark purple sky. Some streaks of clouds fluttered beneath the majestic silver moon, which laid its steely beams on the damp plants and the furrowed land. The stuff in my stomach started stirring and made me want something warm and hot, soup or porridge, which could relieve the uneasiness inside. Turnips were a good vegetable for opening bowels, and one turnip was more than enough for that purpose, but I had rammed two into my stomach. Now heartburn replaced hunger.
If only we had a fire and could roast some fresh soybeans … it’s so cold … oh my knees … they are numb … not my own …
Peanuts, fresh peanuts, so delicious, just roasted … together with the vines … come sit here, close to the fire … what a good flat stone, warms up your feet so well … give me some room … I want to heat up my lunch — salted mackerel and corn cake … smells so good … the sun, what a spendid sun, dry and warm … those clouds … wonderful — horses and cows … also apples and pears … hah, we have everything here … Fourth Dog, where’s your brother … call him to stop digging for potatoes … don’t be greedy … the whole field is ours … nobody knows this place … Lilian, take a bite of this melon … it will melt your teeth … why laughing … it’s sweeter than anything from Dwarf Liu’s garden … hey, all of you … come here … peanuts, fresh peanuts roasted with vines … don’t you want to have some … sit here around the fire and eat … everybody is welcome … today’s Communism Day — take whatever you need … why are you giggling, Old Meng … don’t you feel happy … you son of a goat … don’t you want to have fun … where’s Lev … he was eating peanuts here just now … you mean he’s taking a piss in the bushes … hey, who’s there … is that you, Lev … no, it’s Wang Min … Wang — Min — … tell Lev we have baked sweet potatoes too … more good eats for him to wipe out … Ma Lin, give me your fur coat … don’t be selfish … it’s my turn to be warmed … who is blowing a whistle there … damn, who’s the killjoy —
“Guards Company get up” … who is yelling — “Guards Company get up.”
I jumped to my feet and picked up my rifle. Kneading my arms, I felt numbing pains in the elbows. My knees went shaky too, and I slapped my legs to wake them up. What a dream! I had dreamed of so many good things, but everything was messed up. How could so many people get to one place — my home village? Terrible, I even dreamed that Lev was our friend. All gathered in Fox Valley.
Oh how I miss home! Home, the place that is always warm and safe, where you can sleep a whole day and a whole night when you’re so dog tired. Mom will bring a bowl of millet porridge, hot and delicious, to the side of your pillow when you open your eyes in the morning, and there will be four poached eggs in the porridge. Oh Mom and Dad, how I miss you! —
My thoughts were interrupted by some people’s swearing. They cursed Lev again, wishing him to be crushed to death and licked to a skeleton by bears.
It was almost dawn. A thin curtain of fog surrounded the oak woods and spread above the fields. Every blade of grass was heavy with dew. The air smelled grassy, but everybody seemed to lack the strength to breathe in the fresh air. We spread out along the slope quietly, forming a long line at the edge of the woods. I felt dizzy, and my forehead was still numb. A woodpecker was hammering at a tree trunk, and the sound seemed to shake the entire mountain as we started moving.
When we got out of the fog, suddenly the dawn was opening and the east turned pink and bright. Beneath the eastern sky, we saw people running down along a winding path on the hillside. Somebody guessed they must have caught Lev. Commander Yan raised his field glasses to watch while we were gathering around him.
“No,” he said. “It looks like another injured militiaman. They’re carrying a stretcher on their shoulders.”
“This is not war yet,” Platoon Leader Fang said, “but there’s already a depletion of numbers.”
“Attention, everybody.” Commander Yan turned to us. “We are going ahead through the thicket in front of us now. When we’re out of it, we’ll have breakfast.”
We set off again, thinking of warm porridge and steaming bread for breakfast. The night before it was reported that two militiamen had been injured. Some of the militia had forgotten to lock the safety catches on their guns.
The thicket was very small. Soon we sat down for breakfast, which was hardtack and cold water. The biscuits were not bad, but we’d like to have drunk some hot water, still shivering with cold. No fire was allowed, because the smoke might show Lev where we were. Though there had been no shadow of Lev, we had to act as if he was within our range.
After breakfast we rested for an hour. No one knew what place should be searched more thoroughly than anywhere else. Walking aimlessly like this, we could not find any trace of Lev, so it was better to take it easy.
At ten o’clock our squad was sent to search around a slaughterhouse in a valley. We were told not to wander far away, just stay within that area. By this time every pass and every juncture, from Longmen to Hutou and to the border, had been occupied by troops, militia, and villagers. Lev had already fallen into the boundless ocean of people’s war.
Slowly we moved through the millet field east of the slaughterhouse. Everybody tried to relax a little while his legs were dragging him forward. The two squad leaders had already made up. It was always like that: They quarreled, looking as if a melee was about to break out, but an hour later they would become pals again. All of us were in a better mood now, except that everybody swore whenever Lev came to his mind.
The slaughterhouse butchered oxen in the daytime. After the first search through the millet and the soybean fields nearby, we went to the slaughter hall to see how they killed oxen. Ma Lin said that the folk in his hometown would trip the animal to the ground first, than stab its heart with a long knife, but Vice Squad Leader Hsu said, “Nonsense, you have to use a sledgehammer to knock out the ox first. Who can trip up an ox!”
We all went to see. In the large hall hung a few headless oxen that had been disemboweled but not yet skinned. Probably because it was lunchtime, there were only two men in there. One of them looked like a master and the other an apprentice. They nodded at us and didn’t seem to mind our presence. The master was tall and stout. The flesh on his cheeks was thick and squeezed his eyes into two tiny triangles. The apprentice was also tall but thin and narrow shouldered. His big jaw had grown sideways, his chin almost in a vertical line with his left cheek. He looked brain-damaged. Wang Min asked them to show us how they butchered an ox, and they agreed. I was wondering how just the two of them could kill such a large animal.
They placed a piece of rope into a sort of groove on the floor, forming a chain of four nooses. A small knife, about five inches long, dangled on the master’s hip. Then they went into the cattle pen behind a green gate and pulled in a large ox. The animal saw the carcasses in the air and refused to move forward. Around its shoulders there were hairless patches, so it must have done a lot of work. Its eyes looked dim. Tears, I saw tears rolling down its cheeks. The two men were pulling hard.
As soon as the ox’s hooves were in the trap,
they hauled at the ends of the rope. With a bang the ox fell to the floor. Its four legs were tied up struggling in the air. The young man hit its forehead with a sledgehammer, and the ox instantly stopped moving. The master jerked out the short knife and started cutting the ox’s head. Beneath the blade whitish flesh flared and then turned ruddy. With three strokes the head was slashed off. The whole process took no more than twenty seconds. On the floor, a foamy crimson pool extended, and the hall at once filled with an odor of compost.
I walked away, my chest and stomach twinging inside. In front of me, small stars were jumping about on the wormwood. I felt like vomiting but could not bring anything up. They killed an ox like a chicken. Grandma was right: The most wicked creature on earth is man. That ox had worked for its master till it was old; when it couldn’t work well, the master sold it to the slaughterhouse for money. The ox had wept just now, begging the fat butcher in silence for its life, but people wanted to eat beef, so they ignored its tears and butchered it. Man is a true beast.
When I rejoined my comrades at the edge of a soybean field, they were having a lunch break, still talking about the scene in the slaughter hall. Everybody had been impressed; nobody had expected that a big ox could be killed without any noise. Lunch was hardtack too. At breakfast each of us had been given two extra pieces for noon. I was hungry and forced myself to eat, but I felt sick and couldn’t eat as fast as the others. Our squad leader told me to take my time. Meanwhile, those who had finished lunch lay on the grass, smoking tobacco.