by A. C. Arthur
“How could you?” Nisa asked the moment he walked through the stage door leading to a back room.
He’d had to tear his gaze away from the sorrowful look on her face when he’d been on stage and when the other shifters around had stood and began moving through the room, he’d presumed that Decan, correction, her companheiro, would go to her and take care of her. The fact that she’d made it through that crowd to catch up with him the second he walked through this door didn’t bode well for how Decan was going to deal with her in the future.
“I’ve done everything right,” she continued. “Everything!”
Rome watched her breeze past him and moved to close the door. He turned around to see her standing with her fists clenched tight at her sides. She had his complexion but otherwise looked so much like her mother it was eerie. She’d always kept her hair short like Kalina’s, but in a curlier fashion that suited a minimalistic personality. Nisa wasn’t interested in pretty things or primping and posing. She’d grown up with her nose in one book after another. Listening intently to everything Baxter had to teach her. She loved learning to fight with Eli and Ezra and hearing about the seriousness of security from Nick. And when X had let her climb up onto his lap while he’d been working on one of his many tablets at the time, she’d been in heaven. But no matter what, his little girl had always come back to him, cuddling into his embrace and looking up at him as if he could do no wrong. It was a powerful emotion for a man that had gone through the things Rome had to experience. She’d taken every part of him and made it brighter with just her smile.
Now she was glaring at him and he thought it might just make more sense to kill whoever had hurt her enough to put that look on her face. Unfortunately, that person was him.
“My job is to lead our people, Nisa. To do that I have to make the best decisions for us as a whole.”
“And I’m not the best decision. That’s what you’re saying, right?” she asked and took a step closer. “I excelled in everything! You know it because everybody reported back to you when I finished a test or some tasks they threw my way. I even sucked up every complaint I had when you decided I needed a bodyguard to accompany me on this mission. I traveled with him and I didn’t usurp his authority or report the things I knew he was doing wrong to you. But he gets the job! He gets to lead an entire zone and I get to what? Go back home and play in my room like a good little girl?”
Did she really not know? Rome thought.
She was correct in that she’d done everything right. She’d passed all the tests, and he’d thought—after picking up the scent of their calor yesterday—that the logical next step of accepting her companheiro had been completed successfully as well.
“You don’t go back, Nisa. Never go back, never look back. There’s nothing there. Your future is in front of you,” he told her. “That future is with your companheiro.”
“Oh you mean the backstabber! He stole my job! I was supposed to be named Faction Leader. I came here and I updated the holodeck. You know the one that I created! I even found out that someone had broken into confidential files. I went on that mission above ground and brought back valuable information. And oh yeah, I snuck above ground last night and stopped your new Faction Leader from killing the best and most valuable witness we’re ever going to have in this war. So how is it that he gets the job and I don’t?”
“He’s a Serfin.”
She tilted her head, staring at him perplexed. “And? That’s just DNA.”
“It’s evolution,” he replied. “As this new world has evolved in the past twenty years—changing its climate, accommodating more types of shifters and other beings, and foregoing the leadership it had been built on—so have we had time to evolve down here. We’re no longer in the positions we were in before, so it stands to reason that our beliefs need to change. So far there have only been Topétenia Faction Leaders. Now, there will be Serfin representation in the upper ranks. More changes are coming, Nisa and we need to be ready. My actions cannot only be about my family.”
“But I’m just as qualified as he is, regardless of our DNA,” she said, deflated.
Rome moved to her then, touching her shoulders. “You are qualified to take my job,” he told her with a grin. “I’ve never known a more tenacious shifter in my life.”
“I really wanted that position,” she confessed, her voice softer now.
Rome leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I know you did, baby girl. But this is for the best and once you get over being pissed at me, I believe you’ll see the strategic logic in my decision.”
She sighed heavily, bringing her hands up to his arms. “We’re stronger together. Uniting us means bringing us together on all fronts. I see your point. But I don’t have to like it.”
He smiled and hugged her. “I love you, baby girl. I love the woman you have become.”
When she wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him almost as tightly as he was squeezing her, Rome could almost let every bad thing that had ever happened or that could possibly happen in the future vanish from his mind. Almost.
“I love you, Daddy.”
He would never grow tired of hearing that and whatever it took, whoever he needed to put in leadership roles from this point forward, he would. Because growing old and continuing to hear her say it was what Rome wanted most. It was what he would give everything he had to accomplish.
Later that night, Nisa ran long and hard along the indoor space that had been perfectly designed to mimic the Gungi rainforest. Her cat stretched its legs, moving until its flanks heaved from exhaustion. And then she pushed further.
She tried to let the cat take control, to move in the environment created to make it feel at home. She’d never been to the Gungi but even she had to admit that their engineers and scientists had been able to create a pretty realistic setting. The forest floor was heavy with moisture while the drone of cicadas and crickets echoed through the air. Absent the sun, during the day there were specially designed heated lights to assist in the livelihood of the plants and foliage. There were clearings with downed trees and shallow creeks. Buttress roots twisted into elaborate sinuous shapes crept along parts of the floor while verdant mosses and vines hung like beards throughout the area.
None of it silenced her recent memories.
“So what he’s going to be the Faction Leader, that doesn’t mean you can’t finish the job you were meant to do,” Kyss had said when she’d appeared outside of Nisa’s room just as Nisa headed out for her run.
The cheetah had been leaning against the wall and pushed off once Nisa closed the door and fell into step beside her.
“I’ve learned that if you want something in this world, or the one up there, we’ve got to simply take it. So, you want to be a leader, take it. Show the new Faction Leader—and your mate, I might add—that you can do just as good a job as he can.”
Nisa hadn’t wanted to acknowledge her, but then again, she had been wondering where the shifter had been for the past two days.
“Where’ve you been?” she asked. “Why weren’t you above ground with them when they attacked the Ruling Cabinet?”
“Your friend didn’t tell you?” Kyss had asked.
When Nisa remained silent, the cheetah continued.
“I was coming out of my room, prepared to follow you because I knew that if Decan made a move, you would too. Tailing you was a lot easier than trying to keep up with Decan and those other two in his crew. Anyway, Shya was in the hallway and she didn’t look so hot. So I ended up staying with her until whatever episode she had passed.”
While Nisa normally took everything Kyss said as only half-truth, she knew this time was different. Shya had never been the same since her childhood poisoning. The remnants of which would last for the rest of her life. Nisa could only thank Kyss for being there when she should have been.
“Whatever, that’s done now,” Kyss told her. “What’s more important is that you don’t mess this up. You can make a difference here.
Don’t screw it up.”
“What’s in it for you?” Nisa had asked her, because she didn’t believe for one moment that Kyss was simply looking out for her best interests, or for the interests of the Shadows as a whole.
Kyss had smiled. She’d worn skintight black pants and what looked like just a black bra. Her hair was down hanging past her shoulders.
“I get to watch how the new generation of shifter leaders will represent us in this war.”
“And that entertains you doesn’t it?”
“You’re damn right it does. And you know I live for my entertainment,” she’d said before smacking Nisa on the ass and walking off.
Nisa could only shake her head as she’d watched her walk away. There were still so many unanswered questions about Kyss and so many reasons not to trust her. Yet, Nisa kind of liked her. She liked her honesty and her courage.
As for what Kyss had said about taking advantage of this opportunity, well, Nisa hadn’t decided how best to handle that situation.
Her cat padded through another shallow creek, then ran up an embankment and stretched out along a mossy hill. It heaved until its breathing evened and then its eyes slowly began to close.
Until it picked up the scent…of its mate.
She remained still as if waiting for her prey. Nisa wanted to sigh or scream. She wanted to do something because she felt like she should. This wasn’t how things were supposed to turn out and she wasn’t supposed to be so confused by it all. Her cat, on the other hand, did not move and felt no trepidation.
As he approached she could sense the wariness. He didn’t know how to approach her or what to say either. There was an all-consuming weight that pressed inside her now, filling her completely when she had no idea how empty she’d been all this time. She moved then, standing and turning to face the lion. The cats stood only ten feet apart, staring each other down. It was most likely a sight to behold, the majestic golden spotted jaguar and the illusive white lion, surrounded by an almost exact replica of the rainforest from which they had originated.
The lion made a sound, a low growl that was his signal to her cat that this was a friendly visit. They’d been in these forms together before, running, challenging one another and bonding, she thought now with a start. This had been happening since day one. She walked slowly toward him and completely around him. He did not make another sound, nor did he move, something he would most assuredly never have done with any other cat this close. When her tail was toward his head as she made her second circle around him, he growled once more. She paused and lifted her head to immediately pick up the new, more intense scent that surrounded them.
Even in cat form, their calor was recognized.
Nisa slowed, the cat’s bones bending and adjusting until her human limbs extended, her body shifting slowly to her full human form. For a few seconds she remained on her hands and knees, her head held down as she took in the large animal still standing beside her. Lifting her head slowly, she looked up at the lion.
He was a marvelous creature. His mane was thick and fluffy, pure white as it stood out against the dark green of the backdrop. His body was massive, huge paws and flanks that only provided a glimpse into the power he could project. He was at least 6.5 feet long from head to rump, with a long curving tail. And then there were the eyes, the ones she’d looked into on so many occasions. The cat’s eyes were different than the man’s in that they were brighter, clearer, and deadlier. They were, right this moment piercing deep into her soul, touching not only her cat, but the woman, as well.
“Why are you here?” she asked, coming to her feet and continuing to stare directly into his eyes. “Why now?”
The lion did not make a sound, only waited for her to continue.
“I wasn’t expecting you,” Nisa continued. “I thought I was coming here to lead. To be a part of the solution for our kind. I wanted to make a difference. But you showed up.”
She remained in front of him, in what would look to any human like a naked woman standing before a vicious killer. His eyes stayed trained on her.
“You lied to me. You touched me. You made me think about mates and all that entailed. I wasn’t prepared for any of this,” she continued and moved along his side.
“But,” the word came out as barely a whisper as Nisa lifted a hand and touched his mane.
It was soft, just like the man’s hair had been when she’d run her fingers through it. She continued, letting her fingers trail down his back. He did not move, but for his steady heartbeat. And she continued to run her hands along his fur knowing that on the man, this was where the scars were. But they were deeper, Nisa thought suddenly. Decan’s real scars were much deeper than the ones she was able to see.
“I saw you in that cell at the SIC,” she told him as she came around the other side of the cat’s body. “I know what they did to you there.”
Decan shifted into human form then, pausing on his hands and knees, his head bowed down.
“That no longer matters,” he said slowly.
“But it does,” she replied. “Because it’s you. It’s a part of you that I don’t know because you didn’t tell me.”
“Nisa,” he said and looked up at her.
She shook her head and backed away from him. “I don’t know anything about you. I don’t know you but I’m supposed to be mated to you for the rest of my life.”
“You know that we are connected. You smell the calor,” he told her.
“None of that was in my control!” she yelled. “None of this is. Before you showed up I knew what I wanted. I knew where I stood. Now, there’s nothing. You’re the Faction Leader now and I get to continue being the Assembly Leader’s daughter.”
He came to his feet then. The male body just as magnificent as the lion’s had been.
“I won’t be Faction Leader without my companheiro at my side,” he told her.
“Why?” she asked. “Why us? Why now? What is it that you really want to happen now, Decan? Because I don’t know. You came to me as my bodyguard. Never once did you say you wanted to rule this zone. I let you touch me because the arousal was too much to ignore. I gave you my virginity. Yet, you gave me nothing of you. I don’t even know where your tribal tat is!”
She knew she sounded irrational. Knew that she should be reacting in a totally different manner, but Nisa hadn’t lied. She didn’t understand any of this. The why or the how and she didn’t know what was supposed to happen now.
He turned his back to her then and Nisa wondered if she’d asked too many questions, or if the answers she required were simply too much for him.
“I want what both of us want,” Decan finally replied. “Neither of us agreed with how your father handled things with the shifters. We don’t agree that we should be locked down here, hiding from the humans. Each time you went above ground without his knowledge you were screaming that very fact. At the same time you wondered why Keller’s bunker wasn’t recorded on the maps as all dwellings in Oasis should have been. You were torn between being loyal to your father and hating what he’d made you…and all of us become. I was the only one in a position to put things in motion.”
“You were the only one cold enough to not only betray your tribe by openly going against our leader, but to do so while lying to my face,” she spat. “I never lied to you, Decan. I never kept anything from you, not even when this companheiro stuff scared me to death.”
“You never lied?” he asked as he whirled around to face her. “You sure about that Miss Perfect Daughter to the Perfect Assembly Leader? Because I don’t recall you coming to me the night before last and saying you knew I was planning something and that you were going to follow me above ground to kill some humans!”
“Because you would have tried to stop me if I had,” she spat.
“Exactly!” he yelled again. “That’s what you do when you try to protect someone you love, Nisa. You keep them out of harm’s way. I didn’t know what to expect up there and I didn’t know you would
come waltzing into my life and changing all the fucked up parts until they suddenly seemed bearable. All the pain and rage I’d kept stored inside began to make way for all these new emotions. Ones that had me changing my priorities to the point where my own team questioned me. That’s not how I work. It’s not how I was trained.”
She was blinking and staring at him as he stood no more than three feet away from her now.
“What did you just say?” she asked, having heard all of his words, but still remaining stuck on just a few.
He ran a hand through his hair, his lips drawn in a tight line before finally replying, “I said I was fucked up until I met you.”
She shook her head. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“I don’t know what I said, Nisa. I don’t know what I mean. I just don’t know. I can’t remember or I don’t want to contemplate what we just saw up there dropping Cole Linden off like he was some special delivery. He’s in a coma now and none of us know why or how he got that way. Your father is going to ship Keller off to who knows where as punishment for hacking into your system. Lial attacked Gold, almost killing him with some poisoned knife and all I can think about is that if you walk away from me, how will I breathe?”
He hadn’t answered her, or rather hadn’t said what she’d so desperately wanted to hear once more, but Nisa had heard something different instead. She heard her mother telling her about her second awakening and becoming the female shifter she was meant to be. About Shya suggesting that maybe Nisa was doing exactly what she wanted here even though it wasn’t the way she’d envisioned it. To go with it and let the answers come when it was time for them to do so. She also heard Decan’s cry.
As he lay crumbled in the corner of that dank cell in the SIC his head bowed and eyes closed. He had cried, but not for himself, not for the situation he found himself in, but for them. For the Shadow Shifters.
“You could have escaped,” she said softly.
Nisa was moving before she ever realized what she was going to do.