His eyes travel down my body and come to a stop, and he just stares. I look down to see what he’s looking at and notice my hand is protectively covering my lower abdomen. When I look back up at him, his intense eyes have locked onto mine and I can feel him probing my mind for answers. Trying hard to school my expression and not give anything away, I hold his gaze until he speaks again.
“Are you feeling well enough to work? You can take more time off if you need it,” he offers with sincerity.
“I’m fine, thank you. I get a little tired easily but that’s about it.”
He reaches down and takes the hand that’s covering my stomach in his hand. My breath catches in my chest when his eyes peer into mine yet again. He knows. Oh my God, he knows something is up. Do I tell him now?
“You let me know when you need a break then,” he says as he examines my hand. “Do we need cameras installed to be able to work together?”
“If that would make you more comfortable, I’m fine with it. I have nothing to hide…from the cameras.”
He noticed the hesitation in my statement. I couldn’t say I have nothing to hide, because I am hiding something for the time being. He knows it, too. There’s no doubt about that look on his face. It’s not a look of suspicion now–it’s a knowing look.
“Is there anything else you need to tell me?”
“I’m sure there’s plenty of things I need to tell you, but I’m not sure where to start, Dominic.”
Chapter Eight
My in charge, in control Dom is waging an internal war with himself. He doesn’t trust me but he trusts Shadow. My betrayal doesn’t make sense to him but my love for him doesn’t make sense to him either. He knows there’s more to the story but neither of us knows where to start to rectify that. I have really fucked this up.
“What do you want to know, Dominic? I’ll answer any and every question you have.”
The fire rages in his eyes and I fear what will come next. “Did he have you at any time after I made you mine?”
“No. Not even once,” I reply. “He planned to the night I went to his house, but that was against my will and I got away.”
He nods, temporarily satisfied with that answer. “When did you tell him you wouldn’t help him anymore?”
“After our San Diego trip,” I say and his suspicion shines in his eyes so I elaborate. “He had described you as a cold, unfeeling Sir when he sent me to you. He told me horror stories about you and Carol Ann. When I saw firsthand that you were the exact opposite, I knew he either lied or he was completely wrong about you. Either way, I said I wouldn’t help hurt you.”
“He sent you to me?”
“Yes. When he rescued me from that abandoned building, he asked me a lot of the standard questions you’d ask to learn about someone. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he’s been grooming me since then. He decided I needed to go to college and major in international business and management. He paid for it all–my dorm, classes, and books.
“After I graduated, I already had a good job with the company I interned with all through college. He said that was a good stepping stone but I needed to aim higher. When this position came open with your company, he pushed me to apply for it. He said he knew I’d get it because I’d remind you so much of Carol Ann, you wouldn’t be able to resist me.”
Dominic instantly jerked back from me, as if he had been burned. The horrified look on his face melted into anger. “You don’t remind me anything about her. That’s not a good or bad thing. It’s just that the two of you are really nothing alike. For him to even suggest that is more than disturbing.”
Shrugging one shoulder, I respond, “I don’t put much stock in anything he has ever said now. I’ve discovered it was all lies and abuse.”
“Yet, you thought he had something that proved that I killed her,” Dominic narrows his eyes, silently questioning whether or not I believed Harrison.
“I thought he had made up something that would hurt you,” I clarify. “Since the day I met you, I haven’t believed you were capable of killing her.”
“So the day we saw him at the restaurant…” his voice trails off as his memory of that evening takes over.
“He followed us there. I had no idea he planned to start anything with you. But, if you remember, I took my stand beside you. That was my way of letting him know that I wasn’t helping him with anything, even though I’d already told him as much.”
“So that’s why he looked at you and licked his lips,” Dominic realizes.
“He only did that to rile you up. It had nothing to do with his feelings toward me.”
Dominic turns and walks across his office to the floor-to-ceiling windows. He props his arm up on the window, his elbow bent and his forehead resting on his forearm. I can still see his face in the reflection. He’s torn and he’s running through everything in his mind.
He shocks me when he speaks, “Do you understand my predicament here? You admittedly worked with Harry Dick-man against me. There’s a potential lawsuit pending, demanding millions of dollars to keep my private life out of the press. Then, you say you’re not part of that and that you haven’t been helping him this whole time.
“What the fuck am I supposed to believe? You? Harry Dick-man? Those are my fucking choices? You were his fucking sub!” He yells, the anger returning to him and the feeling of defeat returns to me.
He turns to me in my silence. His eyes are tormented and I don’t know how to fix this. I know I have to somehow–there’s just too much to lose.
“Is there anything else I need to know right now?”
I shake my head ‘no.’ He needs to resolve his feelings for me without the added weight of a baby on the way. When he’s decided once and for all, I’ll tell him. If I tell him before then, I’ll never know if he really chose me or if his sense of duty forced him to be with me for our baby’s sake.
“You sure about that, Sophia?” he challenges.
“I’m sure, Dominic,” I say with confidence. This is the only thing I am sure of.
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this sooner?” His voice is both pained and angered.
“I wanted to, Dominic. I started to so many times, but it was never the right time. There’s no such thing as a right time. I just kept trying to protect you the way you protected me. I didn’t want to lose you.
“But, the day the lawsuit papers were served, that’s why I had walked to your office. I’d just hung up from another fight with Harrison. He threatened to tell you and I said I was going to tell you first. I had no idea about those papers, but when I heard the conversation, I knew he’d beaten me to the punch.
“I’m sorry, Dominic. I’m so sorry. That doesn’t even begin to describe how badly I feel about all of this. I love you and it kills me that I hurt you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have one more chance, to be able to fix this, to show you how much I love you. I would do anything–whatever it takes. Just tell me what I need to do!”
His mirthless laugh doesn’t give me hope for us. “I wish I knew what to tell you, Sophia. I just can’t see that ever happening between us again. I told you my hard limits and you broke them.”
No deception of any kind. No withholding my body from him.
“I understand,” I reply solemnly. “We’ll just be work colleagues then. Is there anything else you need from me?”
Slowly turning to face me, he walks across the room and stops just in front of me. His eyes rake over my face again and I know, deep inside, I can’t bear to go through this whole back and forth conversation again.
“Are there any contracts you need to me to take back to my office to work on?” I rephrase my question to convey my intent.
Understanding dawns on his face, and for a second, he looks disappointed. “I’ll have maintenance move your office back up to this floor. Since we’re working together again, it’ll be easier on both of us. Once you’re moved, we’ll spend some time going over the ones you’ll take over.”
&
nbsp; “Sounds good. If you don’t need me right now, I’ll go finish my other assignments in the meantime.”
Walking as slowly as possible toward the door, I turn the knob and walk out of his office. He doesn’t try to stop me this time. It’s symbolic to me–I’m walking out of his life. I’ve explained what happened. I’ve taken responsibility for my actions. But the damage is irreparable and it’s time for us both to move on to whatever our futures may hold.
My problem is–he’s the only future I can imagine.
The morning sickness, which has turned into anytime of the day sickness, hits me again like a freight train and I run to the bathroom. The moment I walk out of the stall, Dana is standing at the sink with wet paper towels and hands them to me. Thanking her, I take them from her and walk to the sink to rinse out my mouth. Dabbing the wet towels across my forehead, the cool water brings me some relief.
Dana says nothing but she doesn’t have to. The look on her face says it all. She knows. Shit.
Dominic
I’m pacing back and forth in my office again. It’s so fucking hard to concentrate with all this shit bearing down on me. She answered all of my questions but I know she’s holding something back from me. That doesn’t help me trust her at all. I tried calling her bluff and forcing her hand, but she walked right out the door after agreeing to just be work colleagues.
Running my hand through my hair in frustration, I consider my options once again. Trust her and work with her? Trust her and take her back? Don’t trust her and work with her? Don’t trust her and take her back?
Just live without her completely?
Fuck it. I only live once and I want it to be with her. Deep down, I know I want it to be with her. She didn’t save me just to later ruin me. She didn’t put herself in danger for nothing. We may have started out under false pretenses, but that’s not how we ended.
She was sent to destroy me but she became the other half of my soul. She makes me feel like no one else ever has. My draw to her is stronger than a magnet to steel. I’m tortured without her and I’m fulfilled with her. She is my love and I am her Dom.
It’s well past time I started acting like it. I’ve been too lenient in my attempt to be patient. It’s also time for Harrison to feel the sting of my lash when I teach him the true nature of a Dom. One who is thoroughly pissed off and will have revenge for how his sub was mistreated. There’ll be no mistaking the lesson he’ll learn when I’m finished with him.
Harrison tried his best, but his best wasn’t nearly good enough.
Bursting out of my office, I’m on a mission to talk to Sophia. As I hurry to the elevators, she walks out of the bathroom with Dana close behind her. Sophia’s eyes are watery and her color has paled even more. I can’t hide my concern as I take in her appearance.
“Sophia, are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Dominic,” she lies to avoid the attention I’m drawing to her. Dana, still standing behind Sophia, catches my eye and slightly shakes her head from side to side.
“Dana, would you please get Sophia something to help her feel better?”
“What would you like, dear?” Dana asks.
“Just a Sprite will be fine,” Sophia replies, clearly uncomfortable.
“Bring it to my office, Dana,” I instruct as I take Sophia by the arm and lead her back to the seat she recently vacated.
“Dominic, I really need to get back to my office,” she resists.
“Your boss must be a slave driver to make you work so hard when you clearly don’t feel well,” I quip.
“It’s not that,” she protests and tries to stand.
“Sophia, sit down,” I say sternly and she obeys. “Tell me what’s wrong.” My tone leaves no room for argument.
Her eyes dart to the door and I know she’s contemplating making a run for it. Sighing heavily, I remind her, “You know I will pick you up and bring you back if you even try it.”
Her watery reply cuts me to the core, “Dom, please just let me go.” She’s trying so hard to maintain her composure.
“You’ve changed,” I muse. “At first, you were a feisty businesswoman who was hell bent on making a name for herself. Then, you became fairly dependent on me and cried frequently. Now, you’re more of the feisty lady again, but with sad eyes.”
“I’ve always been the feisty businesswoman, Dominic,” she answers, her voice stronger this time. “I cried frequently because every time you did something wonderful for me, I felt guilty over the way we got together. I knew I didn’t deserve you, but I couldn’t let you go, either.”
“You kept saying you didn’t deserve me,” I recall.
“It was true.”
I hear Dana’s three-tap knock just before she opens the door and walks to Sophia. She has Sprite and saltine crackers in her hands and I know I must be looking at her like she’s crazy. Dana simply says, “Trust me, Dominic.”
Dana sets them on my desk directly in front of Sophia. She reaches to grab a cracker and lightly nibbles on it and takes small sips of the Sprite. “Thank you, Dana. This helps a lot,” Sophia says.
Dana pats her on the shoulder and gives me a stern look. “She’s not feeling well, Dominic. If you can’t tell, she has lost weight and she needs to avoid so much stress.”
Dana leaves and I take a moment to really take Sophia in. I noticed the hollowed cheeks and sunken eyes, but Dana is right. She has lost too much weight in the last several weeks. She continues to take small bites and small sips as she avoids eye contact with me.
“Sophia, if you’re still not recovered, you can take more time off to recuperate. Your job is safe,” I promise. “I’d rather you be off to rest and fully heal than push yourself to come back to work too soon.”
She stops nibbling and drops her head forward. The pained expression on her face concerns me. “Tell me, Sophia. What’s wrong?”
“Don’t worry about me, Dominic. Please don’t. When you talk to me like that, like you care, it just…it just hurts me even more. I’m trying to let you go and this doesn’t help. I’ll be okay.” Her voice betrays her words. She doesn’t believe them any more than I do.
“Why do I feel like you’re still withholding something from me?”
The panic that flies across her face is unmistakable and I know I’ve hit the target dead center. Now to find out what it is.
“You know I can read you like a book, Sophia. No doubt that I was blindsided by the whole Harry Dick-man shit, but that’s because he was never a Sir and the whole thing was all too fucked up. Make no fucking mistake about it, though - you belong to me, Sophia. I told you there was no going back on us and I fucking meant it. Just because I’m mad doesn’t give you the right to withhold anything from me. Not your body, not your heart, and not your mind.”
She immediately reverts to a submissive posture–to the one I’ve instructed her in. Her eyes rise to meet mine, just as she knows I like it. “That’s my girl. You know you can’t hide from me, don’t you? Your eyes tell me what I need to know about your feelings.”
“There’s no going back? Even now?”
“Even now,” I confirm.
Intently studying her expressive brown eyes, my chest tightens at the emotions I see in them. She loves me and her love shines brightly in them. There is so much sadness in them, too, and she’s afraid. She’s scared of me?
What the fuck?
“Why are you scared of me, Sophia? What have I ever done to make you fear me?”
“It’s not that I’m scared of you like that–that you’ll hit me or anything,” she says tentatively.
“Then what?”
“More than anything, I’m afraid you’ll send me away and I’ll never be around you again,” she whispers, as if she’s afraid voicing the fear will make it come true.
“Do you trust me?” I ask, drawing up to my full height and towering over her.
“Yes, of course I do, Dom. But I know you don’t trust me.”
“That’s partly because I know y
ou’re intentionally keeping something from me. That’s deceit–even if it’s by omission.”
She sits quietly for a few moments, internally debating whether or not to release this vital piece of information that’s tormenting her. What she doesn’t realize is I’m not giving her a choice. Being apart isn’t what either of us really wants. This is a monumental hurdle for us to get over but we have to do it regardless.
“Stop thinking about it and do as I say, Sophia,” I demand sternly.
“Can you please sit down, Dom?” she asks, but I hear concern in her tone. Concern for me.
“I will oblige you this one time but my patience with asking is wearing thin.”
Nibbling on her bottom lip, she turns in her chair to fully face me. I’m not asking her again and she knows it. I expect an answer from her and I expect it now. I’m finished with being lenient and letting missteps slide.
“First, I want you to understand I didn’t do this on purpose. It was never my intent and I was just as shocked as you will be.
“Second, I will respect whatever you decide. If you need time to think about it, I’ll give you that, too.
“Third,” she pauses to swallow her tears, “just…don’t hate me.”
“Noted,” I respond.
Her eyes dart nervously back and forth between mine. I keep my gaze steady and wait for her explanation.
“Dom…um…damn, this is harder than I thought it would be,” she takes a slow, deep breath and then fully exhales it before continuing. “I’m pregnant.”
Chapter Nine
“Dom, say something, please,” Sophia prompts me.
I can’t speak. I am literally speechless at her confession.
“Are you even breathing?” she asks, anxiety rising in her voice.
No, I don’t think I am.
“How far along are you?” I finally find my voice and my breath. I lean forward toward her and give her my most penetrating stare.
Her Dom's Lesson (Dominic Powers Book 2) Page 8