by Natavia
“I don’t like that fuck nigga!” I said.
“Yeah, nigga I know!” Kenjay laughed.
Jordan called me for the tenth time, “What?” I answered.
“So, your publicist just informed me that you will be hosting a rap battle in your old neighborhood and it’s going live. How about I come down there so we can be seen together?” she asked.
“Hell no! You crazy?” I asked this crazy bitch. A stretch Hummer pulled alongside of my Bugotti and now I was pissed. She got out with a few of her friends. They looked like they were ready to rip the runway. I dialed Rissa up and she answered.
“Why the fuck are you and this bitch working together? You work for me, and if you keep this shit up, I will fire your ass!” I told her.
“She makes you look good! She is making a name for herself and her fan base is growing! Being with her is what sells! You are the hottest rapper and being seen with a fat girl will make bad publicity for you!” she told me.
“Rissa, let’s get some shit straight! I only agreed to link up with her to cover my scandal for sleeping around with that model who was married. I really didn’t give a fuck about that but you insisted that I fuck with her to throw the media off my back. I don’t need her ass to sell shit! The bitch needs me! Far as that fat girl you talking about, she is all over the magazines! Where the hell is Jordan Liles on there? The bitch can’t even sing!” I told her.
“Fine, then, O’Shea! You better hope like hell Britain has a positive background! You know if they find something on her then it will reflect you! Jordan comes from a good family, good neighborhood, and all that! So, be careful!” she said hanging up. I needed to replace her ASAP.
“Hey, boo! I missed you!” Jordan said throwing her arms around me with a few people snapping photos of us. I was just with her a few hours ago! She even brought her camera crew.
“Get this shit away from my ma dukes house! I don’t give a damn who you are! You got motherfuckers taking pictures of us and shit! Bitch, your ass in the hood! Does this look like Fashion Week in Paris to you?” Kenjay yelled at her.
“You going to let your ghetto-ass loser friend talk to me like that?” she asked.
“He is my brother I keep telling you that! Fuck you mean, ghetto? I grew up in these parts!” I told her.
“Look, we don’t belong here!” One of her white friends said to Jordan.
“Look, you can do what you want, but I’m ready to holla at my peoples! Make sure you keep those cameras away from me!” I told her, walking off.
“Get your ass back here!” she said following behind me. Every time I tried to get close to Britain, it was always some shit that followed.
Britain
“Mama, stop clowning!” I told her as she dropped down getting her eagle on. Harry was throwing ones over my mama’s head.
“Get it, Geraldine! Shake that ass, twerk team!” Latavia said tipsy. Those frozen drinks we had from Tammy’s house hit us hard. I know now why she called it THOT juice.
“Well, if it isn’t the good ol’ Britain!” I heard a voice say behind me.
I turned around and it was Rattle’s ugly ass! They say when people got older they got cuter. Well, in this case, that’s a damn lie!
“Hey, Rattle! How have you been? I see you been holding up!” I told him and he eyed my breasts lustfully.
“I been good! What’s up with you? Damn, girl, you looking fine as ever. You thicker than duck butter!” he said walking around me, checking me out.
“Thanks!” I said laughing. I couldn’t stand him back then, but even back then he would say something that would have me laughing.
“Who is this fine red head you got with you?” he asked me.
“Latavia, this Rattle. Rattle this is Latavia,” I introduced them.
“How you doing, beautiful? Can I take you out?” he asked her smiling with gold grills in his mouth. That was the only thing that looked good on him.
“I’m married!” she said.
“Well, fuck you then!” he told her.
“Fuck your ugly ass, too! I would rather suck Chief Keef dick than even be seen with your ugly ass!” he said.
“Fat bitch!” he said to her.
“I know I am! The same fat bitch you was just trying to talk to! Now, slither your ugly snake-looking ass away! Fronting-ass nigga!” she said.
“I will pay one of these bitches out here a stack to fuck you up real quick!” he told her, getting hype.
“Bitch, I ain’t never scared!” she said.
“Rattle, take your ass somewhere! You still the same nigga that keeps getting mad because a female doesn’t want you. I hope whoever you find you pay double because I’m tag-teaming their asses!” I told him.
“Get your ass on, Rattle! Leave them girls alone!” my mother told him.
“Crack-head bitch!” Rattle walked away mumbling.
“Yeah, your mama still is one! Don’t you forget, me and her used to smoke that glass dick together! You trout-mouth motherfucker! Call yourself being a hood nigga but you named after a fucking snake! Your Amistad ‘give us free’ slave looking, Ebola-having ass!” my mama yelled after him.
“Calm down, Geraldine!” Latavia fanned her.
“Honey, that science experiment gone wrong motherfucker done came for the wrong one today!” my mama said.
“Well, hello, Britain!” I turned around and it was Jordan Liles standing there with a group of rich-looking people behind her. They all looked like they had just walked out of a fashion show.
“Hi, surprised to see you in our neck of the woods!” I told her, sipping my drink.
“Well, what can I say? I came down here to support MY man!” she said.
“Well, that’s lovely. He needs all the support he can get. But it’s funny that he didn’t mention that you and him are actually a couple!” I said to her. Fuck this bitch! I was sick of her boogie ass!
“Well, that’s a part of the music industry. You know the rich and the famous live differently. Maybe, if you ever get lucky, you will see what I’m talking about!” she said.
“I don’t know about all that! But if a nigga fucks with me, whether he is rich or fucking broke, he will claim me!” I said. One of her friends grabbed her chest because of my language I guess.
“Well, I see what he sees in you. You are just as ghetto as he is!” she said.
“Well, if he is so much of your damn man, he shouldn’t be seeing shit in me! Now, Miss Hollywood, get the fuck out of my face with your lip-syncing ass!” I told her.
“You heard her Milli Vanilli! Get gone now!” my mama said to her.
“Latavia, I thought you had a little more class but I guess not! You won’t be getting any of my service anymore!” she said to her.
“Bitch, bye! I don’t give a damn! Oh, and by the way, your outfit is a hot-ass fucking mess!” she said laughing. She flicked her hair and walked through the crowd followed by an entourage and bodyguards.
“I find it really funny how no one has stopped and asked her for an autograph!” Latavia said and I laughed.
O’Shea got on stage, grabbing the mic announcing the first rap battle up. I could no longer lie to myself. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me. I had been waking up in the middle of the night from night sweats dreaming about the nightcap we had. I know I needed to tell him about Shia, but every time he came around, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know I had to sooner or later. But I didn’t think I could live with him hating me for keeping it a secret.
“What you thinking about, Britain?” my mama asked me.
“I’m thinking about when I should tell him,” I told her.
“Remember after you do, put it in God’s hands. He might be mad at you. He might just hate you and not say shit to you or he might just find her. But whatever happens, don’t you beat yourself up. His father was trying to hurt y’all and would’ve done everything to see to it. You did it out of love for her, so don’t let him question you about that! He couldn’t
protect you because he was young, too! So, don’t let him tear you down!” she said rubbing my back.
“I know mama!” I told her.
“You still love him don’t you?” she asked.
“Still? Who said I did?” I asked her.
“Brownie, you not fooling me! Your little hot ass was in love with that boy! Hell, you still love his grown-ass now! You can be away from someone for years and still love them! So, don’t think because y’all been doing y’all own thing for so long it doesn’t mean it’s impossible,” she said.
“I love you, mama!” I told her and she hugged me.
“I wanna hug too, mama Geraldine!” Latavia said with a buzz. My mama rolled her eyes at Latavia but she knew she was crazy about her.
There were four rounds of the battle and now it was time for O’Shea to perform. I loved when he rapped because he had that sexy Jim Jones voice going on.
“Riding around in that Bugotti/ me and my shawty
She about to strip tease for daddy/ starting our own private party/ we fucking up the sheets/ I told her it don’t matter/ when I’m giving her the long dick/she going feel it in her bladder/ O’Shea needs a little freak in the sheets/ bad little bitch who is a woman in the streets/ these fuck niggas don’t know how to stay in their place/ ‘till a nigga get gutta wit it and put a hole in his face/call himself hustling bricks/ but get caught to do time being some big nigga bitch/ nigga is on his knees in a cell sucking a nigga’s dick/now he comes home talking big nigga shit/put my gat to his lips /pull the trigger then tell the nigga suck on this…
After he finished, the crowd was hype, telling him to do another song and he ended up doing three more. O’Shea had the block turnt up.
“Damn, that nigga can spit!” Latavia said getting hyped.
“Girl, that nigga is FIONE with his nasty ass! He said he gone give you that long dick and make you feel it in your bladder! Damn, bitch, now I see why you needed all that Epsom Salt!” she said.
“Whatever! But that shit really was up in my bladder! I thought I was going to pee myself!” I told her.
“Damn, that’s how Kenjay is! I never fucked a light-skinned pretty nigga before until I ran across his ass. I’m not into those type of men but honey his ass fooled me!” she said.
“Who the fuck is that?” Latavia pointed and I looked. It was my friend, Janae. Well, associate now since our friendship had grown apart over the years.
“That’s my childhood friend,” I told Latavia.
“I don’t give a damn! Why that bitch in his face?” she asked with too much to drink. She walked off into their direction and I followed.
“What you doing, Kenjay?” she asked.
“Shit, what’s up with you?” he asked.
“Hey, Janae how are you?” I asked giving her a hug.
“I’m fine, girl! Look at you, looking all good! I heard O’Shea was performing so I had to come and see for myself!” she said.
“My name is Latavia! How are you?” Latavia asked Janae.
“I’m fine and yourself?” Janae asked.
“I’m trying to figure it out. You sound familiar, though. I think I heard your voice last night over the phone. You needed a towel, right?” Latavia asked. It was about to be some shit!
Janae laughed this crazy laugh, one I had never heard before.
“Latavia, chill the hell out!” Kenjay said.
“You right!” she said, walking off.
“So, Britain, let’s hook up one day! When are you free?” she asked. There was something about Janae that was starting to rub me the wrong way.
“Okay, that’s cool! I will let you know when I’m free!” I lied to her. I walked off, “Britain Washington?” someone called out. I turned around and there was this thick middle-aged woman I had never seen before. Judging by her appearance, I knew she has to be rolling in some money. She stuck out like a sore thumb in the crowd because she needed to be on TV somewhere.
“Yes?”
“Hi, my name is Malore and I’m the fashion designer of Malore Fashions. I must say I am very impressed with you. I mean you are absolutely stunning! When I saw you in Urban Celebrities magazine, I felt like God answered my prayers. I’m looking for a model for my new line of plus-sized clothing. I have a magazine also and I want you on my cover!” she said.
My knees got weak and I started sweating. I wanted to become a stylist but now I was getting something better—an opportunity to model for Malore Fashions. I heard about it but I never actually got into it because the clothes were very expensive and it was something I couldn’t afford, so why bother with it?
“I don’t know what to say!” I told her.
“Just think about it! I know it’s a lot to digest but I have been trying to get in touch with you! I didn’t want to contact your job because I didn’t want it to affect your position. I read on Twitter that rapper O’Shea will be in his hometown at a block party. I know you guys grew up in the same neighborhood and figured you would be here. I tried my luck and here you are. Take my card and let me know if you will accept the offer. Sleep on it and then we can go from there. I hope to hear from you, Britain!” she said.
“You will definitely be hearing from me!” I told her.
“By the way, where do you shop?” she asked.
“Everywhere! I’m a bargain shopper. When you shop on a budget, you kind of have to get what you can and make it look like something!” I told her.
“That is what you call a true Diva! Take care and I hope to hear from you soon!” she said shaking my hand then disappearing into the crowd.
“Who was that?” Latavia asked. I told her everything Malore said to me and she was just as excited as I was.
“Let’s celebrate because I know you will be calling her soon! Do you know how big Malore is, Britain? I mean she came to the hood looking for you! Girl, I’m telling you when Jesus knocks, you better answer!” she said.
O’Shea came through the crowd shirtless with his diamonds glistening from around his neck and mouth. He walked up to me, grabbing me by my ass, pulling me into him. He gave me a deep kiss and the crowd went crazy.
“Shorty! Shorty! Shorty!” They shouted and he rapped the song they said he wrote for me. I was at a loss for words.
It’s a cold world, but I’m gon’ keep you warm/ specially when we in them sheets & ain’t got nothin’ on/ they say freaks come out at night, but this that early morn/ we break up, then we make up, it’s kinda hard to see, who love who more/ second guessin’ on our love, maybe this is lust for sure/ say you love me but it’s harder when I go on tour/ knowin’ I’m in, a different state, & doin’ different shows/ followed by a bunch of groupie hoes, doin anything in their power, just 2 say that they the ones I chose/ but baby girl, you the 1 I chose/ you always felt like you was never seen, like cracks in concrete, but I’m lovin' how that flower rose/ & I know you hate it when I’m out here on this road/ but you know I’m on a mission to complete this goal/ but this that heart to heart, & can’t no groupie bitches crack this code.”
Janae
“When are you letting me come over again?” I asked Kenjay as we stood out front his mama’s house. The party was over and everyone was clearing the street.
“I don’t know! I got some shit to take care of!” he said checking his phone.
“That girl, Latavia?” I asked him.
“Yo, what’s up with all these questions?” he asked annoyed.
“I wanna chill with you!” I told him and he laughed.
“I will see what I can do!” he told me.
“Okay, I will be waiting for your call!” I told him.
I said goodbye to Britain and O’Shea. The bitch Latavia was just grilling me. When I got into the car, Carla went off on me.
“You stupid bitch! You was supposed to make him want to chill with you! Why the fuck did you let that bitch Latavia disrespect you like that? Yager is going to be pissed off because you still didn’t find out where the fuck his money at!” she fussed.
“I don’t want to do this! I grew up with Kenjay! I actually like him!” I shouted.
“Bitch, he doesn’t want your skinny ass! Look at you! He only wants to fuck! He screwed you last night and now look! He doesn’t even want to be bothered. We are running out of time and a bitch is trying to get paid!” Carla said.
“I can’t do this shit no more!” I screamed at her.
“Shut the hell up, Janae! You are a weak bitch! Always have been and that’s why the only friend you have is me! Britain’s big ass doesn’t even like you anymore! You will help me get to Kenjay and I mean that shit!” she said.
I started my car and pulled off, driving past my mama’s house. She tried flagging me down but I sped past.
“Where you at?” the caller asked as I pulled off.
“Leaving Jefferson!” I told him.
“Bring that ass home so I can give you this good dick!” he said. The man who raped me years ago still had control over me. Between him and Carla, I didn’t think I could take it anymore. They had some type of hold on me that I couldn’t get rid of. Maybe I was that weak.