“There isn’t any other option,” I said with complete certainty. “When I think about being without her… It makes me feel like I’m drowning. I fucking need her.”
Colton was silent for a few seconds as he thought about my honest words.
“I wish I could say I knew what that felt like, but I don’t.” He shrugged, and I could hear the envy in his voice.
“It’ll happen to you someday. Speaking of that, what the hell are you doing with Tara anyway? I heard you guys arguing this morning,” I admitted. “I don’t know what it was about, but you deserve someone better.”
Colton looked unsure. He’d always been a cocky son of a bitch. He was one of the few people I’d ever known that could pull off cocky, yet loveable at the same time. But I’d seen some of that slip away in recent months. I wondered if Tara and their toxic relationship was taking a toll on his self-esteem.
Instead of answering the question, he deflected the conversation back to me. “Do you love her?”
My gaze went back to Angel and I gave another nod. “Yeah.” Colton didn’t ask for details, but that didn’t stop me from gushing about it like I was on some damn talk show. “I’m in love with her. She just fits, you know? And it’s crazy how we met.” I laughed at how absurd it was. “I picked up some random girl off the side of the road and she turned out to be my soulmate.”
Chuckling, Colton clapped me on the back. “Well, I’m happy for you, man.”
Fate. I’d never been a big believer in it. Had never really given it much thought.
But the chances of us meeting the way we did—what were the odds? Every event in our lives, every decision, led us to that road in Ohio, putting us there at exactly the right time.
I knew, without a doubt, Angel was meant for me.
Packing up my things was surreal. And also very depressing.
It felt like a lifetime had gone by since I left Maine. I folded up the same clothes—just like I’d done weeks ago—and placed them in my backpack.
Only this time, it was so different.
The night before I left the foster home, my hands shook with excitement as I covertly packed my bag and hid it under the bed. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Couldn’t wait to move on. That certainly wasn’t the case now.
Another difference was the fact that my backpack was no longer big enough to hold everything I owned. As I attempted to zip it shut, I realized I’d need a second bag because of all the extra clothes I’d acquired from the thrift store.
Karen had gone a little wild with the shopping. Every time I insisted she didn’t need to buy clothes for me, she somehow guilt-tripped me into picking out more. By the end of it, I’d gained an entire new wardrobe. It was like some kind of Jedi mind trick.
A soft knock came at the bedroom door and I glanced up to see Travis standing there, looking sexy as always in a white T-shirt and his gray gym shorts.
He produced a black tote bag from behind his back. “I figured you might need this when I heard my mom was taking you to the thrift store.”
Grateful, I took it from him and started filling it with all my new clothes and shoes. “I don’t know how your mom convinced me to get this much stuff. I went in there telling myself I would get one thing. And this—” I laughed and held up and handful of shirts. “—is what happened.”
“It’s just because she’s going to miss you so much. I’m not the best shopping partner,” he said before helping me pile the rest of the clothes into the tote bag.
After setting my luggage off to the side, I looked up at Travis’s face. I studied his features, trying to memorize every detail—his thick eyelashes, the way he looked with a five o’clock shadow, the shape of his lips.
I brought my hand up to his face and with a soft touch of my finger, I traced over the places where I knew his dimples would be if he smiled.
What would happen to us after I left? We hadn’t really talked much about it and I wasn’t sure what he wanted. Although I didn’t have much experience at dating, I knew being apart would be hard on a new relationship.
Travis must have been able to see the distress on my face because he smoothed out the area between my eyebrows with his thumb. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“I don’t want to break up,” I rushed out, and he let out a low chuckle.
“Well, that’s good, because we’re not breaking up,” he replied confidently.
“Promise?” I knew I sounded like an insecure little girl, but I couldn’t help it.
He nodded. “Promise. There’s a lot of ways to keep a relationship going. We’ll talk on the phone every day.” His face broke out in a devilish grin. “There’s always sexting.”
“Mmm, I love it when you talk trucker to me.” I repeated his words from the week before, unable to keep a straight face.
He walked forward, gently backing me up until my butt landed on his bed. He crawled over me and his lips gently met mine before his tongue slipped inside. I sucked in a breath when his teeth scraped over my bottom lip. When he broke the kiss, his face was serious.
“I mean it. We can make this work. The distance doesn’t matter,” he said, looking down at me. “I might be here, but I’ll still belong to you.”
Swoon.
Panic. That’s what I felt when I thought about the fact that in twenty-four hours, Angel and I would part ways.
Although we said we’d stay together, there was too much unknown.
My apartment was going to feel so empty when I got home. My whole life was going to feel her absence. Angel filled a void I never even knew was there.
It was crazy. In just over three short weeks, she’d become such a huge part of my life.
Sighing, I leaned back in the driver’s seat and tried to stretch a little while staying focused on the highway. It’d been a long day of driving. We were pulling some long hours so we could get to the delivery destination by the next morning.
“So, tell me about your mom. What are your favorite memories? What do you look forward to the most?” I asked Angel while keeping my eyes on the road.
I needed to know more about the person who would be taking her away from me. Although I knew it wouldn’t make me feel better, maybe it would help me understand.
And I needed to understand. Because right now, all I could do was feel overwhelming dread at the inevitable goodbye coming our way.
“She named me,” she said. “I mean, yeah, all moms name their babies, so that’s not special or anything. But during the whole pregnancy, she couldn’t think of a name. She said as soon as she saw me—blonde hair, blue eyes, pink chubby cheeks—she knew my name should be Angel.”
“I can imagine.” I smiled because I was picturing her as a baby. She definitely came by her name honestly.
“She was really good at sewing,” she continued. “She could take any pattern and fabric, fire up the sewing machine, and make something out of it. Like magic. She used to make all my costumes for the school plays. I’ve always wanted to be able to do that. Maybe she could teach me,” she said hopefully. “And she was so good at piano. There was a duet we used to play together. I had the simple part, of course. You could put any music in front of her, and she could play it.” She stretched her fingers out and wiggled them like she was imagining piano keys in front of her.
I laughed because she was so damn cute.
“And every Christmas morning, we had homemade cinnamon rolls,” she went on. “She’d spend hours the night before getting them ready—rolling out the dough, letting it rise. I loved waking up to the smell of them baking in the oven.”
“That all sounds really great,” I admitted.
“She was good at baking everything. Every year we entered the cookie contest at the county fair and every year, we placed. Sometimes we won first place. Chocolate chip cookies. It was a secret family recipe, but we made them so many times, I still remember every ingredient by heart. I’ll have to make them for you sometime.” She stopped abruptly and then her face fell.
“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” I told her and grabbed her hand. “This doesn’t have to be goodbye forever. We can see each other again. Maybe if I have another delivery out this way I can visit. Or once you get settled, you could come see me…” I trailed off.
She nodded like she wanted to believe it was possible, but even the words didn’t sound very comforting to my own ears. The uncertainty—not knowing when I would see her again—was the worst part.
I decided that I needed to come up with future plans before we said goodbye. We needed something to count on, something to look forward to.
People made long-distance relationships work all the time. I had to believe we could do this.
I wanted Angel to be happy. If being in California with her mom was what she wanted, then I’d support her.
That night, as we settled in for bed in my small sleeper cab, I felt sick knowing it was going to be our last night together. Wanting to make it count, I kissed her deeply, slowly, taking my time with her.
After our clothes were gone, she spread her legs wide for me and I slid into her, enjoying every inch of her tight pussy. I retreated until I was almost all the way out, then I would thrust back in again.
“Always so fucking good, baby,” I groaned into her neck. “Every single time.”
Angel made an impatient sound as she dug her heels into my back, urging me to go faster. As much as I wanted to savor the moment, it didn’t take much for me to lose control. We weren’t usually rough with each other, but neither of us could contain the desperation we were feeling.
It didn’t help that she kept digging her fingernails into my ass and pulling me into her roughly with her hands. I pounded into her relentlessly and her moans only encouraged me further.
This was fucking.
I kept trying to ease up, but I was having trouble holding back. The urgency of knowing it was our last night together mingled with anger. The anger wasn’t directed at her, but it was anger just the same.
I resented the situation. Resented the fact that I wouldn’t get to kiss her every day. I hated how desolate my life was going to be without her in it.
“Harder,” she demanded. “Don’t stop,” she begged. “I want to feel you for days,” she said.
And fuck if I didn’t want that, too.
I slid an arm under her lower back, causing her hips to tilt at a different angle, and she cried out at how deep I was able to go.
Sweat slicked our bodies and the only sounds that filled the cab were whimpers, moans, harsh breathing, and the slapping of skin.
Angel bit my shoulder as she came hard, her inner muscles squeezing my dick.
I pulled out of her, flipped her over onto all fours and slid into her from behind. My fingers dug into the flesh of her ass as I spread her wider for me.
“Travis,” she moaned loudly. “Oh my God…”
Her front half collapsed onto her elbows and her hands gripped the sheets. I pumped into her until I felt my balls draw up tight, but I didn’t want to finish this way. I wanted to look into her eyes when I came inside her.
Gently, I rolled her onto her back and I forced myself to slow my pace as I locked eyes with her. Lifting her legs higher, my thrusts went deeper and she closed her eyes at the sensation.
“Open your eyes,” I demanded. “Look at me.”
She did as I said, and I kissed her one more time before I let go.
“Angel. Baby…” My voice sounded hoarse as I emptied myself into her, buried as deep as I could go.
Panting into her neck, I took a minute to recover from the mind-blowing sex we’d just had. But I went from satisfied to concerned when I saw Angel’s face. Her chin wobbled and I wondered if I’d been too rough with her.
“Angel?”
“I’m sorry, Travis.” She choked out a sob and tears streamed from her eyes. “I’m so sorry I can’t stay.”
“Please don’t.” My voice sounded tortured as I pressed my forehead to hers. “Don’t be sorry for needing to do this. I’ll wait for you, okay?”
“I’ll wait for you, too,” she whispered.
She curled her body into mine as we waited for sleep, but it didn’t come easily for either of us.
We kept waking throughout the night, reaching for each other. At some point, Angel woke me up by sucking me into her mouth. Just like that, I was ready for round two.
It was just as wild as before. Angel rode my cock until I finished with her on top of me. She collapsed onto my chest and we both fell asleep with my dick still inside her.
By the third time it happened, we were both running out of steam. I made love to her gently as the sun came up, then we passed out to get a couple more hours of sleep.
After the drop-off in Sacramento, we found a shitty motel for Angel to stay for a few days until she was able to work out her living situation.
I didn’t like it.
The L-shaped two-story building looked haggard on the outside, with pale yellow stucco and faded maroon doors.
Security was a concern of mine. It was the kind of motel where all the doors were on the outside—not the safest option. I would’ve felt much better about her staying at a hotel with some kind of front desk to get past.
Of course I was worried about her safety. How could I not be? But I also knew that worrying about her all the time was something I would have to get used to. I couldn’t protect her when she wasn’t with me. Knowing she was going to be all alone here, vulnerable, had my gut tightening.
I kept those thoughts to myself though. Angel wasn’t a child, and she wouldn’t appreciate being treated like one.
I tried to convince her to stay somewhere else, but I had to admit she was right when she listed the reasons that this was the most logical place for her to stay.
Not only was it incredibly cheap, but it was also near her mom. They even offered a shuttle bus that ran directly from the motel to the prison, so she wouldn’t have to pay for a cab. And it had an even cheaper rate if she paid by the week, instead of nightly, and that would be a good option if she couldn’t find an apartment right away.
It was economical. It was practical. Like I said—shitty.
Once she got the key to her room, I helped her carry her bags to room 108. It smelled musty and slightly of cigarette smoke, but Angel didn’t complain. She sat down on the bed and the mattress springs creaked.
“I don’t have to take off right away,” I told her after looking at the time. It was only three o’clock. I could stick around for another hour.
She nodded and scooted back on the bed as I grabbed the TV remote. After tossing it to her, I settled down beside her and put my arm around her shoulders, wanting to soak up the feeling of her body next to mine.
I didn’t even know what she decided to watch. The only thing I was able to pay attention to was her warmth, her softness, her smell.
When our time was up, I reluctantly left my spot beside her. Angel stood up and for the first time since the first day we met, an awkward silence hung between us.
She shuffled from one foot to the other and she seemed to be unable to decide what to do with her hands. First, she tried crossing her arms over her chest. Then, she planted her hands on her hips. Finally, she just clasped her fingers together over her stomach.
I smiled because it was cute.
Deciding to put her out of her misery, I took her hands and placed them behind my neck, hauling her body against mine.
“Hi.” I gazed down at her.
“Hi.” She gave me a small smile.
“I’m gonna check my schedule and see if I can come out next month sometime. If I get a plane ticket, I can spend more time with you instead of driving. I’ve never flown before and it scares the shit out of me, so you should feel pretty special.”
She nodded excitedly. “That would be great. A month isn’t too far away.”
Remembering I needed to give Angel b
ack her phone, I pulled it from my pocket. She hadn’t even realized it was missing.
“Why did you have my phone?” She swiped the screen then laughed when she saw the changes I’d made. “You changed my background pic.”
She turned the phone to show me what I already knew I’d see—a picture of us on her birthday. Our heads were pressed together as we smiled into the camera, the lake where we went fishing behind us.
“I also made you a playlist,” I said, a little self-conscious about the cheesy gesture. “I thought maybe you could listen to it if you miss me.”
“Of course I’m going to miss you.” She swallowed hard.
Ah, shit.
I was trying to make a joke. I didn’t mean to make her sad.
“Hey, I know.” I hugged her to me. “I’m gonna miss you, too. You have no idea.”
“Yes, I do,” she whispered against my chest.
“Maybe I could stay another day,” I said, trying to work it out in my head. Hank needed the rig back in three days for a local delivery. If I drove straight through, I might be able to pull it off.
“No. I know what you’re thinking,” she accused. “It’s not safe for you to drive that long without sleep. Don’t even think about it.”
“So, you can read my mind now?” I smirked.
She nodded. “I know you.”
I touched my forehead to hers. “I know you, too.”
It felt like the perfect time to say I love you. But I didn’t.
Instead, I ran the tip of my nose down the slope of hers and stepped back.
“I’ll call you tomorrow night,” she said. “Let you know how things went with my mom.”
“Sounds good.” I placed one last lingering kiss on Angel’s lips and gave her a reassuring look. “Good luck tomorrow. I’ll talk to you soon.”
Despite the protest going on inside my body, I opened the motel door, got into the semi, and drove away.
He made me a playlist.
I couldn’t even describe what it felt like to watch Travis walk away. I almost took out my phone to call him. To beg him to come back.
The Good Guys Box Set: TRUCKER, DANCER, DROPOUT, and A Trucker Wedding Page 21