“I’m not—he’s not—we’re not—” I stuttered, completely lost for words because the term implied a certain level of commitment.
“Well, it’s settled then!” Beverly clapped her hands together and headed toward the kitchen. “Matthew, do you have any whiskey in this house?”
Seeming concerned, Jimmy’s dad chased after her. Linda hid a smile behind her hand, and Ezra spoke up for the first time since introductions were made.
“Thanks for coming to my graduation,” he said shyly, fidgeting in the green recliner in the corner of the living room. “I don’t have a ton of friends coming to see me walk across that stage… So it means a lot to me that you came all this way.”
And just like that, my heart melted.
I thought I was awkward, but Ezra took it to a whole new level. It was endearing, though. The way his cheeks flushed just from meeting someone new. The floppy mess of blond curls that fell over his forehead. He was exactly how Jimmy described him.
“Thanks for wanting me here,” I responded sincerely.
“You’re always welcome,” Linda said before brushing her own blonde curls out of her eyes. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to make sure Beverly isn’t raiding the liquor cabinet.”
Something shifted during dinner after the graduation ceremony. As we sat around the dining room table, eating Linda’s meatloaf, I felt the world tilt a little.
Something had changed, but I couldn’t put my finger on it—probably because it wasn’t just one thing.
My heart felt lighter at the sound of Jimmy laughing with his brother as they argued about who knew all the songs to ’90s boy bands and who was better at chess. Ezra proudly claimed the knowledge to the Backstreet Boys lyrics and, apparently, Jimmy was chess champion of the house.
When I told them I was terrible at chess, and would be staying far away from Jimmy during a tournament, his hand caressed my knee under the table and my heart soared in a completely new way.
Pride welled up in my chest when his family asked about my career and seemed genuinely impressed at my accomplishments.
“So you can just work from home?” Linda asked. “You never even have to leave the house?”
“Basically, yes. There will be times when I have to travel to the band for collaborations,” I explained. “But I can record at home and send them the demos. Plus, we can do a lot of our meetings over Skype.”
“That’s so cool,” Ezra chimed in, seeming to be more comfortable around me by the minute. “Can you get autographed posters? And tickets to concerts?”
“Ezra,” Matthew scolded. “You can’t just demand stuff from our guest.”
I laughed. “Actually, you can. Someone might as well enjoy the perks to my job. Yes to both of those things.”
The shy boy from earlier completely disappeared as his face lit up. “Thank you so much.” He pointed his fork at Jimmy. “Keep her.”
Before either of us could respond Beverly asked for another whiskey on the rocks, and her request was denied. She pouted, but I wasn’t oblivious to Jimmy discretely passing her his flask under the table when Matthew and Linda went into the kitchen to get dessert.
They brought out an ice cream cake, which was pretty much a glorified ice cream sandwich. My eyes shot to Jimmy, wondering if he’d requested it on my behalf. He gave me a knowing look and I hid my goofy smile behind my napkin.
My mouth watered as they passed me a slice. It was perfect, with an Oreo cookie crust on the bottom, a layer of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and whipped cream on top.
Heaven.
Then Jimmy’s parents switched to the topic of his classes in the fall, and my heart did a nosedive, plummeting to the pit of my stomach. The fluttery feeling I’d gotten so used to morphed into a sick, churning sensation below my sternum.
My appetite suddenly disappeared and I placed my fork down on the plate while staring at the half-eaten dessert. I’d known all along Jimmy didn’t intend to stay in Tolson, so the dread I felt was unexpected. And unpleasant.
As they talked about the college campus and dorms versus apartments, reality hit home.
There would be a time, in the near future, when I would be alone in my house. Alone in my bed. Just… alone.
Two weeks ago, that was all I’d wanted.
So why did it make me so sad?
Pacing from one end of the hotel room to the other, I took a few deep breaths and shook out my hands. I pulled open the mini fridge and uncapped a water before taking a long drink as I listened to the shower running behind the bathroom door.
I was extremely wound up—probably from holding myself back with Mackenna all week. Although we made out like teenagers and were almost always touching in some way, we hadn’t gone further than kissing since last Sunday.
Mackenna hadn’t asked for it, and I hadn’t pushed.
But I could feel it—soon one of us was going to lose control. In this battle of wills, one of us would break first.
And I needed it to be her. She had to be the one to make a move.
There was something extremely erotic about that fact that I’d gotten her off, but I hadn’t seen her naked yet. Not even a nipple.
There was also something sexy about being in a hotel room. Maybe because it was unfamiliar. Away from reality. Kind of like being on vacation.
I heard the water shut off, and when Mackenna came out I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. Not because she looked any different than usual—but because she looked the same.
And everything about her was perfect.
Long, damp hair around her shoulders. Pink cheeks and lips stood out against her pale skin. Loose white T-shirt. And those crazy leggings. This pair was decorated in roosters, just like her ridiculous kitchen.
Feeling a little weak in the knees, I sat down on the edge of the bed.
When she got close enough, I grabbed her by the thighs and dragged her over between my legs. From where I was sitting, it put me at the right height to kiss her stomach. I nuzzled the soft material of her shirt with my nose and let out a happy sigh.
“Jimmy,” she whispered. I looked up at her troubled eyes and immediately knew something was wrong. “What are we doing?”
“Um, we’ll probably watch TV or something. We could order a movie—”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it,” she interrupted softly.
Placing another kiss over her belly button, I wrapped my arms around her. She squeaked when I pulled us down onto the mattress so we were lying side by side.
Anxiously twisting her fingers together, she continued. “We’re together all the time. Sometimes you look at me like I’m—” She paused as she searched for the right word. “—important. You called me your girlfriend.”
“That’s what a relationship is, Mack.” I brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “And I’m proud of you. Proud to tell people you’re mine.”
“This wasn’t supposed to be a relationship. It was supposed to be fun.”
I frowned. “You’re not having fun?”
“I am,” she admitted, absentmindedly tracing the tribal tattoo on my chest. “But it seems like more than that, too.”
“I want more than casual with you. I was pretty clear about that from the beginning.”
Her eyebrows pinched together. “I just didn’t realize it was going to feel like this.”
“Like what?”
Those stormy eyes connected with mine, and she didn’t need to say the words for me to know what she meant. She was having feelings for me. Feelings she’d never had before.
“You’re not alone in this,” I told her. “The feeling is mutual.”
“You’re someone to be proud of, too,” she said, affectionately rubbing her thumb over my bottom lip. She smiled a little, but her eyes were sad. “But this won’t last. You know that, right? You’re leaving at the end of the summer.”
She wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know, but there were other options we h
adn’t discussed. “What about long-distance? Would you be willing to do that?”
“No,” she replied with certainty.
“No?” Rubbing at the spot over my heart, I tried to lessen the ache I felt at the thought of ending things with her when I went back to school. “We could try. People do it all the time.”
“No,” she said again with a quick shake of her head. “I’m not cut out for long-distance relationships. Missing you would be terrible. I’d always wonder what you’re doing. Who you’re doing it with…”
“You don’t trust me.” It wasn’t a question.
“Don’t take it personally.” Twisting her lips into a wry grin, she attempted to lighten the mood as her hands went back to exploring my body. “It’s not like we’ve known each other for a long time, Jimmy.”
“Well, that’s something I can work on,” I told her. “We’ve still got time.”
Her fingers stopped their perusal of my chest, and her face turned skeptical. “We don’t have to decide anything today.”
Like hell we didn’t. She might’ve been unsure about us, but I wasn’t.
But she didn’t need to know that right now. The last thing I wanted was to scare her away.
“Your brother is the biggest sweetheart in the world,” she said, switching gears on the conversation. “In fact, your whole family is great.”
I smiled. “Ezra’s the best person I know. I’d be lucky to be half as good as him someday.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You ended up being way better than I originally thought,” she joked before her face got serious. “I judged you. I’m sorry about that.”
“I didn’t exactly give you the best first impression.”
She smirked at the reminder. “Speaking of that, your undies? Those little briefs you wear? Hot as fuck.”
I laughed and groaned at the same time.
“Undies? Little briefs? I have no idea how you can talk about it that way and still turn me on, but damn. Say fuck again,” I requested, burying my face in her neck. I playfully nipped at her until she giggled.
“I thought most guys wore boxers.”
“Most guys don’t have a dick the size of mine,” I blurted without thinking, and the look of surprise on her face was almost comical. “I’m not trying to sound like a cocky prick. There’s a practical reason I wear them. They help support things. Plus, I have a piercing. I like to know everything is staying in the right place.”
Mackenna’s eyebrows shot up. “A piercing? On your penis?”
Snickering at the fact that she whispered penis like it was a bad word, I nodded. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out. Then her eyes bounced down to my crotch and lingered there as if she was trying to have x-ray vision.
“Hey, my eyes are up here,” I teased.
She blushed, obviously embarrassed at being called out. If she kept staring at my dick like that, the willpower I was trying to keep firmly in place would definitely unravel.
Scooting up on the bed, I piled the pillows up so we had a place to sit, grabbed the remote, and opened my arms in invitation. Mackenna didn’t hesitate as she crawled up next to me.
We spent the rest of the evening watching bad reality shows and cuddling in bed.
And when she fell asleep, her ear was right over my heart—the heart that was becoming a little less mine and a little more hers every day.
Over the next week, Mackenna and I spent every minute of our free time together.
She insisted on helping with the chores around Grandma’s, and we were a good team. She made everything more fun—yard work, laundry, even cleaning the toilets. My girl wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty.
The rest of the time, we hung out at her house. Mackenna liked to knit with her legs draped over my lap while we watched movies. We talked, told each other bad jokes, and sometimes she’d sing to me.
I learned more of her quirks. Like the fact that she ate at least one ice cream sandwich a day, usually before dinner. And she was obsessed with Crockpot recipes, but rarely followed through with them. She’d tacked at least ten recipes to her fridge, but so far I’d only had the pleasure of eating the honey mustard chicken and beef stew. Both were off-the-charts awesome.
Then after dinner we’d make out until my balls were blue, but I wasn’t complaining.
I’d never been happier.
I was addicted to her smiles, the ones she seemed to save just for me. The sexy lift of her mouth when she smirked. The naughty tilt of her lips when she teased me. And the full-on laugh when that dimple on her left cheek appeared—that one was my favorite.
And she was starting to get comfortable around me.
How could I tell? Water bottles.
Little by little, she was letting her guard down. Letting those water bottles pile up. Caring more about my company and less about the way her house looked.
If I went downstairs, I knew I’d see three on the coffee table, a couple next to her chair, two on the mantel, and one on the front windowsill. There was no rhyme or reason to the oddly-placed ones, but when she was in writing-mode she got a little scatterbrained.
Sometimes Mackenna’s face would light up with an idea, and she’d sprint to her laptop or grab the nearest notebook to write it down. Other times she was so lost in her own thoughts that she’d drop everything she was doing, and vacantly stare into space while her lips moved to a song I couldn’t hear. Even if she didn’t have her guitar, her fingers would twitch and wiggle.
It was fucking adorable.
Last night, she Skyped with her manager and sent out a few new demos for the punk band. I loved the fact that she let me witness her writing process.
The mornings were my favorite time.
Every day I woke up with her wrapped around me. I loved the warmth of her body, the scent of her hair, and the fact that it seemed like she couldn’t get close enough. Mackenna didn’t know it, but sometimes I set my alarm a little early just so I could enjoy being with her for a while.
She was still sleeping when my phone pinged on the nightstand. I picked it up and when I saw the name on the screen, I gently untangled myself from the starfish and quietly left the bed.
Jay: Got some info you might want.
Jay Langston was a local who was my age. We met years ago when I was visiting Grandma, and we used to get together during the times when I was in town.
Over the past couple years, he’d gotten into some sketchy stuff. I suspected it was drugs, but I didn’t know for sure. He didn’t have a job, and he didn’t come from a wealthy family, but always seemed to have money.
Last fall, Jay came to visit me at college and witnessed one of my street fights. He’d told me about an underground fighting ring in this area, and at the time I really hadn’t thought much of it.
Until recently, I’d purposely avoided him. I didn’t want to get tangled up in whatever illegal activity he was a part of, but he had a knack for finding things out. Personal information. And not just rumors—facts.
I had no idea what his methods were, but I thought he might be able to tell me something about Mackenna’s ex. More specifically, his whereabouts.
There hadn’t been any more mysterious letters, but I knew Mackenna was on edge.
After taking a seat on the couch, I dialed Jay’s number.
“Hey, man,” he answered, sounding way too awake for 6:00 in the morning. Never one to beat around the bush, he cut right to the chase. “Here’s what I got. Jaxon has been bumming around some trailer park in Brenton, but it seems like he’s been laying low. And you’re not gonna believe this, but he’s been trying to break into the fighting rings.”
“No shit?” I flexed my hands at the thought of pummeling that motherfucker’s face.
“Yeah. He’s got a good chance. I mean, everyone wants to bet on the beefed-up guy who just got out of the pen.”
“Can you set me up?”
“I can try.” He paused. “I thought you told me you
were out of the fighting scene.”
“I was, but I’m willing to make an exception for this one.”
Jay let out a whistle. “Man, don’t let anyone hear you talk like that, or else they won’t let you fight. They don’t do grudge matches. You’re not even supposed to know each other.”
“Well, that’s good because I’ve never met him.”
“Do I even want to know what this is about?”
“No,” I told him honestly. “It’s probably best if you don’t.”
“Are you sure about this?” he asked. “Just say the word and I’ll see what I can do.”
Scratching at the two-day stubble on my jaw, I weighed the pros and cons.
I wanted the chance to give that son of a bitch the beating he deserved, but I also needed to be smart about it. Setting up a fight would guarantee a meeting on neutral ground where that could happen.
But the last thing I needed was to get into trouble. Plus, I had a feeling Mackenna wouldn’t want me getting involved this way.
“Give me some time to think about it,” I said. “I’ll let you know.”
After we hung up, I decided to go to Grandma’s for a shower before I got ready for work.
I didn’t get very far.
As soon as I walked out the front door, I stopped dead in my tracks at the sight in front of me.
I experienced a mix of emotions as I took in the garbage scattered over Mackenna’s driveway. The metal trashcan was on its side next to her car. The windshield had been shattered.
I approached the vehicle, doing my best to keep my temper in check. However, it was the word that had been keyed into the dark blue paint on the hood that pushed me over the edge of anger.
Blowing out a breath, I ran my hands through my hair as I paced the yard a few times.
Mackenna was going to be pissed. Devastated. Terrified.
I hadn’t even delivered the news yet and the remorse I felt over the fact that I had to be the messenger was killing me. I gave myself about five minutes to calm down, then I went back into her house, toed off my shoes by the door, and quietly made my way up the stairs.
The Good Guys Box Set: TRUCKER, DANCER, DROPOUT, and A Trucker Wedding Page 63