by Alexa Davis
“Two months!” George called out from across the veranda. “Can you believe she has two whole months left?”
I glanced at Callie and she rolled her eyes.
“I don’t know what he’s expecting, but I’m grateful I have a little time left.” She raised her voice so George could hear her as she continued, “Maybe we’ll get around to painting the nursery in the two months we have left.” I sniggered and shook my head, and Callie patted the seat next to her.
“Do you think this is weird, me going out to California to maybe get into a school that I haven’t even got in touch with, and maybe stay there?”
Callie shrugged and sipped her tea. “I don’t think there’s such a thing as ‘normal’ for how to do things. Look at your brother. He was a horse man, then a construction worker, then a soldier. And then there was the two of us. How the hell did that work out? But, it did, and it’s really, really good. I expect that you’ll have more of that than not, in your future. But, you’re young. Even if it doesn’t go as planned, or if you don’t have a plan and stuff just happens, in the end, it all works out.”
I nodded and pulled out my phone. “I know you’ve heard I have a friend there.” She sat up and nodded. I unlocked my phone and saw C.J. had sent one last message. I felt my ribcage get tight as I read her words. I probably would never tell her, but no one had ever treated me like I was that important. It was enough to make my eyes burn a little and I coughed to clear the unexpected emotion from my throat. I flipped to the pictures I’d saved to my phone, and handed it to Callie.
“Go ahead and scroll, I promise there’s no surprises.” I teased as she chewed the corner of her mouth.
“I remember her. She was on television, right? Some celebrity reality show or something?”
I nodded. “She’s won modeling competitions, performed on Dancing with the Stars, and she does a lot of hosting at gaming conventions, sports events, the whole nine yards.”
Callie pursed her lips and handed the phone back to me. “Wow, she lives her whole life in the spotlight. You ready to see your face on television and YouTube?”
“Even if we found out we were, you know, compatible, I doubt I’d be the one in the spotlight. I’m okay with that.”
She laughed. “I think you’re going to be just fine. But, don’t be surprised if she wants to try making something with you work. The Hargrave men tend to attract women who are ready to stick around.” I laughed, then thought about the text she’d sent. “You’re young, but of all of your brothers, you are the most headstrong. I don’t think you’ve ever encountered an obstacle that even slowed you down. Stanford will be no different.”
“Well, if there’s one thing I understand about life, it’s that nothing is impossible to break, if you pick at it enough. Worth remembering for the things you want to remove, and the things you want to keep.”
George and Danny sauntered over to grab more beer and George scoffed when he heard me. “Man, that is some deep truth for a guy who’s not even graduated from college yet. I wasn’t worried about you leaving before, but now, I can’t wait to see what you do while you’re gone.”
Logan let out a “Here, here!” from his seat at the big dining table where he was building a puzzle with Danny’s wife, Rachel.
“If I had it to do over, my money would still be on you being more successful. When are you leaving, anyway?”
“Couple days. Why? You want to take me to the airport?”
“Shit, I can. Did you want a ride? I figured Mom would take you.”
“Yeah, she would’ve but then my mom will have driven me from our house to the airport.”
There were barks of laughter from my older brothers and George ruffled my hair. “Just when we thought you were too old to be the youngest.” I shook him off and scowled good naturedly.
Callie had me hand my phone over to George so he could look at the pictures and he gave a low whistle. “You don’t aim low, do you boy? Why are you only telling us about her now?”
“There’s nothing to tell, George. You only know because I was stupid enough to tell Danny, and he thought it was hysterically funny that I was checking out Stanford, then checking out a model I’d been talking to.” George laughed hard, and high-fived Danny after he handed me back my phone.
I sat through several more minutes of good-natured ribbing, grateful that the ranch hands were gone before C.J. came up. When I had finished my second beer, and my brothers were starting to make noises about going home, I said my goodbyes and headed up to my room. Out of habit, I started up my computer and grabbed a beer from the mini fridge by the desk. I sat looking at my phone for a long time. I liked what she’d said, but there wasn’t really a response for it. What was I going to do, reply with “Awww?” I’d be looking for a new place to stay for the convention if I did that.
Finally, I sent a simple, “Me too. That might be the best part,” and put the phone away so I could focus on C.J.’s stream and zone for a bit. I may have drifted off a little, because I blinked and suddenly realized I had more texts. I read through them, then replied to C.J. in her stream chat.
“No, I haven’t packed yet. Yes, I will be packing tonight or tomorrow morning.” I paused, then added in all caps “YES, I AM EXCITED.” I knew she’d seen it when she snorted then cleared her throat and composed herself. I logged off before she finished her stream and got out my luggage. I wasn’t sure what she expected to take time or thought. I packed like a dude who didn’t cosplay, so it took less than fifteen minutes. I texted her that I was done, and that I needed to get to sleep, but I’d talk to her sometime before I left for California.
I laid in bed, with my stomach in knots. Finally, right at the last second, my nerves got the better of me. I texted C.J. and told her that she had exactly twenty-nine hours to cancel if she had any second thoughts. I worked on unclenching my jaw and trying to relax. I must have stressed myself right to sleep, because the next thing I knew, I was waking up to a coffee from my mother, and a text from C.J., with an electronic boarding pass attached. The text said that I had approximately six hours to get my ass to the airport. She’d moved up my ticket, and upgraded me to first class, compliments of the guys who wouldn’t stop trying to out donate each other in her stream.
I sat up and glanced over at the coffee on the nightstand. Mom never came to my room before noon, and it was only nine in the morning. Luck was with me today. I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, and ran it cold at first to help wake me up. I was excited to see C.J., but I felt like I was wading through wet sand. By the time I’d turned up the heat on the water, it hit me. I was headed to California to attend the biggest game developer convention in the country.
I finished a whole lot faster than I’d started, bolted my coffee while still in my towel, and finished the last of my packing. I left my luggage in the foyer and went in search of my parents, and Daniel, in that order. Fortune found him again and they were all in the office, going over midyear numbers and finishing up some pretty yawn-worthy paperwork to close out the cattle drive from the highlands.
“Hey, everyone I wanted to talk to, all in one room. What were the chances?” I announced my arrival and hovered near the door.
“Good God, what time is it?” My dad checked his watch. “Why are you up?”
“Thanks Dad, great talk.” I sighed and rubbed my face. “I’m leaving in about two hours. I just thought I’d come down and say goodbye. So, nice talking to you. I guess I’ll see you around.” The old man frowned and turned back to his paperwork, and I stared at Daniel, controlling my breathing and clenching my jaw to stop myself from saying anything else.
My mom put her arms around me and hugged me tight. It surprised me to realize she only came to the center of my chest. We weren’t a demonstrative family, but she seemed so little it was hard to believe she was the boss around here.
“When did you get so tiny?” I asked her. I heard the accusation in my voice and instantly regretted it, but she only laughed.
“About the same time you got huge, I would guess.” She chuckled. “I think you might be taller even than Tucker, and your shoulders are as broad as George’s. Who would’ve thought my baby would be the giant of the family?”
I heard Danny snort from across the room. “He needed to have the biggest frame to balance out his giant brain,” he scoffed. “I’m all done here, I’ll drive you whenever you’re ready.”
I thanked him and risked one more look towards my father, who was concentrating on his work and had, for his purposes, dismissed me from the room. It wasn’t the start to my trip that I’d planned on, but if that was how he wanted to leave things, who was I to argue?
Mom asked to ride along, and Danny offered to buy us lunch, so the three of us piled into the Escalade with Rachel and started for Austin. At the big gate, Danny put on the brakes and waited, watching his side mirror. I turned in my seat to see Pete jogging towards the car.
“Do you mind one more?” he panted when Danny rolled down his window. I jerked a thumb toward the backseat, and he climbed in.
“Why don’t you smell like horses?” I called out to the back of the car.
“I heard a rumor you were leaving, I wanted to drive you to the airport. Then ya’ll just left without even saying goodbye.”
“Sorry man, I got a little out of sorts and just lost track of everything. Besides, I’m coming back to get my stuff before I’m gone for good.”
Pete sniffed from the backseat. “Well, you still owed me a goodbye.”
“Yeah, but now you get lunch too,” Danny chimed in. I felt bad about forgetting to stop by the stables. Before I’d fallen in love with technology, Pete had taught me how to ride, and how to care for my horses. Hell, he’d taken more interest in me than my old man.
“You know, Pete, I screwed up not getting to the stables, but I’m glad you made us stop.” I turned in my seat and Pete saluted me from the back of the car. I laughed. “I had no idea I was so important,” I teased, looking around.
“I’m just here for the food,” Pete retorted.
“Daniel made me come with,” Rachel added with a shrug.
“I didn’t want Mom to have to drive,” Danny quipped when I glanced over at him.
“Well, great. Mom, did you want to be here?” I saw Danny looking at her in the rearview, but she just shook her head at him.
“Of course, I wanted to see you to your plane, Jackson,” she cooed in her soft voice. “I had to make sure you actually got on, after all.” The car erupted in laughter. I rolled my eyes, but laughed along. I was going to be missed. It meant something to me. More importantly, there were people I was leaving behind I would miss. If Stanford even wanted me.
9. Carina
Jackson had texted when he was seated on his plane, and I’d sent a reminder text of the address of the Italian restaurant he could meet me at. I was disappointed that he thought us meeting was so strange that we had to do it on neutral ground, but it was overridden by sheer excitement that he was finally going to be in the same room as me.
I tried and failed at some simple leatherworking, and paced my shining and dust-free hardwood floors while I waited to hear that he was close enough for me to head to the restaurant. Stiles followed me back and forth across the room, playing tag with my shadow, until even he grew tired and found a ray of sunshine to nap in.
I double checked the fridge looking for any missing man foods or beverages I might pick up while I waited, and decided to pick up more beer and wine, in case he didn’t like what I already had. I took my Vespa down to the BevMo and got another bottle of pinot noir and a sauvignon blanc for myself, and a six-pack of Smog City Brewing IPA in honor of my out of state guest.
I got home and put the drinks away, and after a glance at the clock, decided to take another shower, mostly to fill the time in a space where I couldn’t take a clock. Fifteen minutes later, I had the smoothest legs in the history of shaving, and was still at least at least an hour away from hearing anything from Jackson. I paced and worried and tried to ignore the weight in my stomach that usually signaled an imminent panic attack.
I checked my hair and makeup. What if he didn’t like me wearing makeup, since I almost never did in stream? What if the extra pounds I’d gained since I quit trying to look like a model were just enough that he wouldn’t want to see me naked? I should’ve turned the bedroom back into a bedroom. My bohemian lifestyle, which had seemed so frugal and common sense, now just looked like a poor girl trying to survive. Everything about me or my home that I had loved so much, seemed inferior and immature, and unworthy.
I wet a washcloth and set it in the freezer for a minute while I breathed and checked my phone again. The plane would have landed by then, but just, and there was still time before I should have expected him to call. I put the cold cloth on the back of my neck, closed my eyes as I leaned over my kitchen counter, and counted. One, two, three… I cracked my eyes just enough to see the phone was still and dark on the counter top. Four, five, six, seven… I jumped as the vibration of the phone chittered a staccato beat across the marble. Eight, nine, ten… I finished counting and took a deep, calming breath before I looked at the phone, then did a happy dance around the kitchen as he reported he’d landed earlier than expected and was already waiting for his rental car.
It was only about twenty minutes from the Bob Hope airport to my downtown apartment, and there were enough restaurants and bars nearby that, if I had him just meet me at the parking garage, we could take advantage of the proximity of everything and walk, talk, and maybe pick a place that he would be more likely to enjoy.
Unable to stop myself, I did one last hair and makeup check, deciding against lipstick at the last second and removing it, then dragged myself out of the bathroom before I could change anything else.
I texted him my idea and, thankfully, he agreed to meet me downstairs so I could get him parking under my building. He called less than a minute later and I answered with a parched throat and shaking hands.
“Hey, traffic doesn’t seem as bad as I was expecting for California. The navigation says I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.” His voice came across tinny and thin over the speaker phone, and he sounded further away than he did when he was still in Texas.
“That sounds about right. Burbank is, in reality, much better to get to downtown LA than LAX is. How was the flight?”
“Long. Quiet, boring, and long. It was tough not being able to call you or text you as we crossed over landmarks I knew brought me closer. If I’d driven, I would have had you on the phone wherever there was reception.”
“Yeah, but the trip would’ve taken two days at least, and you would’ve hated me by the time you arrived.” He laughed and agreed that flying had been the best option. He tried to talk for a couple more minutes but I was so wrung out I could hardly remember a word he’d said, moments after he said it. “Sugar, I’m worried that I’m too distracted, and I’ll distract you, and I don’t want you getting lost. I’m going to tidy up one last time and head downstairs to wait for you. What did you rent?”
“Of course. Just look for the red rental jeep with the doors still attached. That will be me.” We said our goodbyes and I hung up. I was in shock. The guy I’d been crushing over online was going to be at my place in less than 10 minutes. I felt numb and shaky, and my mouth was the Sahara. I hugged Stiles so tight he squeaked and struggled to escape my grip, wiped down the counters one last time, and headed down to the front door to wait.
I didn’t wait long, though. I had only just begun my second pass across the front of the building when I saw a red jeep pull through the intersection. Through the sunlight glinting off the windshield, I could just barely make out a cowboy hat behind the steering wheel. I waved, and the jeep slowly advanced until it was at the gate for the parking garage.
He opened the door from the inside and asked if I wanted to hop in. I slid in and shut the door with a slam, so nervous that the sound made me jump. I looked at him with w
ide eyes and he laughed, then his face turned serious, and he licked his lips, staring at me like I was being measured. I swallowed hard and looked down at my hands in my lap.
“Hey, where do you want me?” he asked, his voice all gravel and sex. My head snapped up and his expression matched his tone. With his eyes still on mine, he slid his hand up my thigh to the hem of the skater skirt I was wearing, which brought his warm finger tips within inches of my panties.
“Ah, um, right through here. Guest parking is on the first level here, straight ahead. Any empty space will do.” He drove all the way to the back wall and pulled straight into a spot away from any other cars. He got out and opened my door before I could get out on my own.
“Do you think a “hello” hug is appropriate?” he asked, sliding a hand around my back, to rest at the very base of my back. I nodded and stepped into him, while he slid his other hand and arm around me. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, and he held me tight, until my heart began to race. He released me and looked down into my face, and for the first time, I realized just how tall he was. His face was so close I could feel his breath on my mouth, and I closed the distance to kiss him chastely, then I pulled back, worried I had gone too far.
Instead of pushing away, he pressed us both against the closed door of the jeep and kissed me, hard and deep. His hands started on my shoulders, but soon, he was stroking me, running his fingers down my arms and massaging my hips. I let out a little involuntary moan, and he delved deeper, his tongue searching the inside of my mouth as I clung to him, afraid my jelly knees would give out on me completely.
Finally, after an eternity floating between ecstasy and insatiable need as he ran his hands over my body in the dark corner of the parking garage, he pulled away with a growl and pressed his forehead against mine.
“How hungry are you, really?” he panted as I ran my hand over the front of his pants, pressing against the hard bulge I found there.