by Molly Prince
That was the worst part of it all. I wanted him to yell at me. I wanted him to fight back. But his lack of response was all but an acknowledgement that I was right. I was right about everything and this was never going to work.
I was angry at myself. I was angry at James. I was angry at the universe. Too frustrated for tears, I grabbed a towel and headed into the bathroom.
- X -
He came to me as I stood under jets of hot water. He came to me just as I had come to him a few days earlier.
“Carrie I…”
“Don’t. Don’t say anything. Just fuck me.”
I knew it was over. As the hot water calmed me, I had realized that my earlier meltdown was nothing more than a feeble attempt to drive him away. To burn my bridges in anger so I wouldn’t be faced with the pain of saying goodbye. But I still wanted him. I wanted to feel him inside me one last time.
It seemed fitting that our roles were reversed from our first encounter. I stood facing the wall, head bowed beneath a constant stream of water, as he stepped into the shower behind me.
I could feel my body come alive even at the anticipation of his presence.
I felt his hands first. Large, rough, interrupting the streams of water that ran down my back as he pressed firmly against my flesh with splayed fingers. And then upwards to my shoulders, resting on them, his thumbs rolling over tight muscles. I gasped with pleasure and resisted the urge to squirm against his grip and push backwards. I wanted more of him, but I was content to allow him to dictate the pace.
His hands moved out and downwards, pressing against my sides and following the curve of my waist until they reach the outward flare of my hips. Slippery with soap and steam, every movement drove me crazy with desire. Whatever turmoil my head was feeling was drowned out by the needs of my body.
He held me there for a moment and I could no longer help myself. I tried to push myself backwards against him, my hips twitching, but his grip was too firm. I wanted more, but I also wanted this to last forever. The sweet torment of denial almost more than I could bear.
I whimpered, I whined and finally I begged.
“Please… please I want you.”
After what seemed like an eternity, he stepped forward. His hands sliding upwards again, and wrapping around me to find and cup my breasts. His manhood, hot and hard, rested against my fleshy cheeks, jutting upwards into the small of my back.
I moaned again at the sensation and was unable to control the rhythmic movement of my hips as I desperately tried to coax him inside. But it was no use, even raised on my toes, I wasn’t tall enough. Once again, I was at his mercy.
His legs between mine, he lowered himself, lifting me as I was impaled and filled by his shaft. I screamed, a rough, raw outpouring of emotion as thrust inside me.
“Harder,” I ordered, and he obliged. Slamming into me with such force that it lifted my feet from the ground, the weight of my body supported by his strong arms. He was relentless, a force of nature. Each stroke adding to the knot of pleasure building deep inside my stomach. A knot that slowly unravelled, opening like a flower until it exploded like a white hot light inside me.
When I climaxed it shook my entire body. I cried out in great gasping sobs as jagged spears of pleasure lanced through my entire body.
- X -
Afterwards we lay naked and panting in each other’s arms. It was difficult, but I was coming to terms with the fact that this could only ever be some kind of fling. It would be hard to get over James. Maybe the hardest thing I had ever done. It was a cruel twist of fate that had brought us together and a crueler one that made us feel the way we did about each other and I knew I would feel that sting of cruelty for a long time to come.
He waited until I was asleep before he slipped out from under the covers and began to get dressed. Before he left, he bent low to kiss my face and I felt the sweet manly warmth of his breath on my skin for what I was sure would be the last time.
“I’m sorry Carrie. I will find you.”
I waited until I hear the door close behind him before I started crying.
Please.. please, I want you.
- X -
Chapter 4: Carrie (One Month Later)
A great woman once said, “relationships that start under intense circumstances never last”. Words of wisdom from Sandra Annette Bullock, my personal heroine and spiritual advisor when it came to matters of the heart. Sure, some might say that a woman who married a serial adulterer with a thing for nazis might not be the best role model when it came to relationship advice. But maybe if I’d have listened to Sandy I wouldn’t have felt quite as bad as I did. Maybe I’d have been better prepared when things fell apart. Maybe… but I doubt it.
There are relationships, then there are relationships. What James and I had may have started under intense circumstances, but there was more to it than that. Some kind of bond that tethered us. Something that made me feel like a man I barely knew was destined to be my soulmate. Something that made me feel like less of a person now that we were apart.
“Carrie! Carrie! Snap out of it babe.”
Trudy was my friend. Possibly my best friend. This night out had been her idea. Personally, I would have preferred to stay home, curled up on the couch with a tub of ice cream and a bad movie, but I realized I needed to move on. I needed to get over him.
“You need to move on. You need to get over him.”
“I know. I know, okay. It’s just...”
“Seriously, I know it must be hard, but I never thought Mitch was right for you in the first place.”
“Huh?”
“I’m sorry babe, I never said anything when you were going out, even when you got engaged, but I never thought it was a good fit… wait, what’s so funny?”
I just shook my head. No one knew about James. Not even my best friend. He was my little secret. As far as my friends were concerned the funk I’d been in for the last month was a result of Mitch calling off our engagement, but in truth I’d barely given him a second thought since I had met my hunky wolfman.
Sure, Mitch and I had loved each other, but looking back, I’d come to realize that what we had wasn’t healthy, especially for me. Mitch dug my curves, he couldn’t get enough of my big beautiful body. But at the same time he was ashamed of me. He wanted to keep me hidden away like some kind of dirty little secret.
James wasn’t anything like that. I like to think that we loved each other. But there was a lust between us so loud and furious that it drowned everything else out. It’s hard to sit down and have a heart-to-heart about your future with a man who drives you so crazy that you can’t keep your hands off him.
James believed that there was something supernatural about it. Some kind of bond between us that marked us as true mates, destined to be together forever. I wasn’t so sure about that, but there was definitely something unnatural about the heat I felt when we were close. I think it was one of the reasons I had to get away.
That was the bit that was hard to believe. That was the reason I hadn’t told anyone yet. I’d met a ridiculously hunky stud of a man. who couldn’t keep his hands off me and really knew his way around a woman’s body. I’d met a man who believed he was fated to be with me forever. A man who was fiercely protective of me, who would never be ashamed of me, who loved me unconditionally… and I’d left him.
Trudy was more likely to believe he was a werewolf than she would believe that I was the one who walked away from a guy like that.
Yeah. James was a werewolf, or shifter as they preferred to be called. Not only that, but he was an Alpha, a natural leader, genetically programmed to protect and provide for those he loved. He had a load of baggage, but who didn’t? I wasn’t over him. I was pretty sure I’d never be over him. But that night I was determined to do a damn good job of pretending to.
“Don’t worry about it Tee. I’m over him.”
Trudy raised her shot glass and I followed suit. My fourth, or maybe fifth, I couldn’t remember.
/> “That’s what I’m talking about babe. Fuck ‘em and forget ‘em right? Here’s to moving on.”
We touched glasses and I knocked back another shot of some sickly, sweet, green concoction that burned on the way down.
“So, uh… don’t look now, but there’s this tall, dark and seriously hot guy at the bar who keeps checking you out.”
James? I turned so hard I almost gave myself whiplash. It wasn’t him, but we were still talking seriously smoldering. Even across the dimly lit dance floor, that much was clear.
“Him? Get real. You’re just trying to cheer me up,” I said.
Trudy spread her hands in a believe-what-you-want gesture by way of a reply.
When we were out together it was always Trudy that got all those kind of looks. I was the chubby friend who had to make her own way home after Trudy hooked up with yet another in a seemingly endless string of one night stands. Trudy was confident. Trudy was pretty. Trudy was… well, kind of a slut. Something she was actually rather proud of.
It was hard to believe that anyone in a place like this would be checking me out and not her. That said, since James, I’d been making more of an effort with my appearance. Not because I had anything to prove, but because for the first time in my life I actually had a bit of self confidence. If a man like that could be interested in me, then maybe I didn’t have to settle for someone like Mitch.
I’d even joined a gym. It took a while for them to convince me that my boobs wouldn’t suddenly disappear the second I picked up a dumbbell and I wouldn’t end up looking like one of those freakishly bulging bodybuilders. I’d joined a gym, I was eating a little better, I’d spent some money on a new wardrobe that actually suited my figure and when I looked in the mirror before heading out for a night on the town, I actually kind of liked what I saw. Why was it so hard to believe that other people wouldn’t like it as well?
I swivelled again, this time trying to be a little more subtle. Tall, dark and smoking hot was looking right at me. He grinned, I smiled back, he stood and headed over. I turned back to Trudy and mouthed a silent ohmygodohmygodohmygod. It was nice to feel this excited again.
“Are you having a good evening ladies?”
Our visitor had somehow managed to arrange for a bottle of champagne and three glasses to arrive at our table at the same time that he did. That took a certain level of panache that few men could pull off. I couldn’t see the label, but it looked like the good stuff too.
“Well, we are now Mr. Bond.” Trudy exclaimed as she accepted a glass of bubbly from the server.
I had to admit that this guy fit the bill. There was the precise British accent that seemed to float effortlessly over the noise of the club for a start. Beyond that he wore a slightly crumpled tuxedo, minus the jacket. He was way overdressed for a night out at a club, and I guess he’d just come from a wedding or something, but he totally owned the whole super-spy look.
“Actually, it’s Grant,” he tugged at the cuffs of his shirt, hamming it up a little, “Edward Grant. But I’d appreciate it if you kept it on the down low. I’m undercover,” He gave Trudy a wink as he played along with her.”
“Whatever you say Double-Oh-My-God. What brings you to our neck of the woods anyway?”
I just sat back and sipped champagne as Trudy performed her wingman duties admirably. She jousted with Edward and within minutes had confirmed that he was single, employed and (don’t ask me how) disease free.
“Right, that’s me done. I need to go line up for the restroom. I’ll leave you two in peace. Before I go. Edward, a request.”
“Sure, anything.”
“Could you say knickers for me?”
“Uh… knickers?”
We could still hear Trudy howling with laughter when she was halfway across the room. I blushed, embarrassed on her behalf.
“You’ll have to excuse Trudy. She’s a little strange.”
“I thought she was sweet. She’s very protective of you.”
I’d never really noticed it before, but I guess he was right. She was.
“It’s usually the other way around. I’m usually the one trying to protect her from the advances of strange men.”
“I find that hard to beli…”
“Uh-uh-uh-uh,” I held up my hand in the universal gesture for hold-it-right-there-mister, “don’t say it. I find myself with a very low tolerance for empty platitudes these days.”
He shrugged, “believe what you will. But I was all the way over there and you caught my eye. And now I’m all the way over here and I can’t stop looking. But…”
“But?”
“Oh nothing. I’m only in town for the night. I just wish it could have been under different circumstances.”
I considered that for a moment, as we shared a slightly uncomfortable silence. I took the time to take stock. The hollow ache was still there. I missed him every second of every day. But maybe just for one night, even if they couldn’t fill the James shaped hole in my heart, someone else could fill the James shaped hole in my life. Not to mention the James shaped hole between… OK, lets not go there.
But the truth of the matter was that since my encounter with that sexy wolf man, my libido had gone into overdrive and got stuck there. I was horny as hell these days… and the nights were even worse. I don’t know if it was my new found confidence, the change in my diet or something else entirely. It was as if that one crazy and intense encounter had unlocked a side of me I never knew existed.
“Just the night you say? I don’t suppose we’re talking a swanky hotel room? A suite at the Four Seasons perhaps?”
He shook his head, “No such luck I’m afraid.”
Damn, and my apartment was in no state to be entertaining suave and sexy foreigners.
Without thinking I blurted out, “I did happen to notice a rather attractive alley on my way in.”
I wasn’t sure exactly what had got into me. I might as well have straight up asked him if he wanted to fuck me up against a wall and then never see me again. It wasn’t exactly subtle.
“You deserve better than that, but I’m sure we can figure something out.”
Edward offered me his arm to escort me out of the club. It felt nice, being so close to another person again. It had been weeks since James and I had been together and all that time I’d been so alone and miserable. I took some comfort in the fact that Edward reminded me of him. His warmth, his size and the cocky swagger of his gait.
There was something about him as well. Something about the way he looked at me that made me feel like he would take care of me and protect me.
When the cold night air hit me, I felt light headed and unsteady. I had, perhaps, underestimated the amount of alcohol I had consumed. I would have toppled over if Edward hadn’t caught me.
“You smell nice,” I told him as his big arms wrapped around me and I found my face pressed against his chest. My tongue felt swollen in my mouth and I was a little dizzy, but I wasn’t about to let that get in the way of a sordid one night stand with an out-of-town hunk.
“Whatever you say Carrie,” he grinned down at me as he guided us off the street and into an alley that ran down the side of the club. I guess I didn’t deserve better than that after all. And I didn’t mind. Even though my head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool, I had to admit I was up for the idea of dropping panties for a handsome stranger for a seedy quickie in an alley.
More than up for it. I felt primed and ripe. After a month of taking care of myself, I was eager for action.
I was breathing heavily as I turned and reached for him. I needed him close. I needed his body against mine. I ached for his kiss. His lips brushed mine and I gasped at the contact as I pushed against him, eager for more.
“Take me… please.”
“Heh, you’re not at all like I imagined, but I’m not complaining.”
He traced a line along the side of my face with his finger before returning to kiss me in earnest. His kiss was just what I needed. Raw a
nd rough, but somehow comforting. I was already buzzing from the alcohol and now there was a sweet sexual warmth added to the mix. I felt like I was melting
Wait, something is wrong. I ignored the alarm bells ringing in my head and gave into this passionate stranger’s kiss. I groaned into his mouth as his hands found and cupped my ass, pulling me towards him. I arched my back in an attempt to grind myself against him and once more came close to losing my balance.
“Wait. What did you mean?”
When I broke the kiss, he continued to kiss me. His lips were hot against the flesh of my neck as he nibbled and teased.
“Hmm?”
“I’m not like you imagined? What do you…”
I struggled to complete the sentence. My head was spinning and It was a constant struggle to keep my eyes open.
“What…”
“Shhhh,” Edward brushed my lips with his own once more, “all will be made clear in time. But for now… don’t fight it. Just sleep.”
Sleep sounded good. Everything felt so heavy, as if I was moving through syrup. I could feel myself shutting down. My consciousness slipping away as I sensed others entering the alley. Strong hands caught me as I fell and the last thing I remembered before I lost consciousness was Edward’s face looking down at me.
James. Help me James.
And then my world went black.
- X -
Chapter 5: James
For the first time in as long as I could remember I didn’t dream about fire.
I dreamed about her. I dreamed that she was at my side. Her soft and luxurious body, sharing my heat. I dreamed of a life together, here on the mountain. I dreamed of a life together, a road we would travel into a shared future.
When I awoke, I reached out for her. Extending an arm to make sure she was close and to pull her closer still. Except she was never there. I was momentarily at a loss. She should be there. We were supposed to be together. And then I remembered.