For a long moment she stared at it. A barrage of emotions scattered across her face until she finally settled on confusion. But there was a distinct smile too. “Why did you give me this?”
Mace slid into the seat beside her and began opening the camera box. “I know Will warned you to draw only under his strict supervision, and I know how much you love drawing. I’ve seen you studying things on the boat. The curl of the sails, angles of the helm … other things. Drawing is your way of keeping the world sane.”
She nodded. “What keeps the world sane for you, Mace?”
“Nothing.”
Her mouth tilted into a downturned bow.
“Nothing until you.”
Her face beamed then turned suspicious. “Liar. You didn’t need sanity until I came along.”
“I didn’t need a lot of things until you came along.” The air around them thickened with all the unspoken things between them. “Anyway, I know you miss the freedom drawing gives you, so I did a little recon—”
“Recon?” she said.
“A little research, and from what I can tell, photography is kind of close to drawing.”
She nodded, but her mouth straightened into a line as if she planned to cross-examine him. “So your recon revealed that photography is like drawing?”
“From what I gathered, a lot of artists photograph their subjects before they draw or paint.”
He was pretty sure she was biting back a full smile. “And why do you suppose they do that?”
Was she baiting him? No fair. He already felt like a fish on a line, helplessly being reeled in. “Best I can tell, it’s for composition. Maybe color too, but mostly composition. I’m no artist, but I’d think you’d still want to make sure your subject matter makes for an interesting design.”
“Hmm.” She pressed her lips together, and the motion created a dimple on the left side of her cheek. He fought the urge to kiss it. Instead, he said, “I would think a camera could be really helpful. You know, in a capturing-the-moment kind of way.”
“Definitely.” She bit her cheek again. “What else did your recon teach you?”
“Zoom. I picked another camera first, but after talking to an artist—”
“What artist?”
Okay, he’d had about enough of the third degree. “Do you want this camera or not?”
“Yes! Of course, yes. I’m just blown away that you went to all this trouble.” Nikki grabbed the box and tore it open.
“Like I said, I know how much you miss drawing. I don’t want you to feel like everything has been stripped away from you.”
This brought her head up. Nikki tucked hair behind her ear and practically whispered, “A lot has been taken.” Her fingers toyed with the ripped edge of the box. “But a lot has been given as well.”
She leveled him again. Mace lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. “It’s amazing that you can see it that way.”
“I have to or …”
“Or what?”
“Or the darkness will take me.”
Mace’s arm closed around her protectively. He understood what she meant; whether human or Halfling, darkness was a reality for all of them, seeking to devour every soul. And sometimes you just wanted to let it. The problem was Nikki had a destiny. Mace recognized the markings of a leader upon her. If any of them thought that one day she’d return to her old life and pick up where she left off, that was a joke. She’d been drawn into the battle of battles, and he feared neither side was willing to let her go. There was so much she needed to learn in order to survive in this world. And he was a pretty good teacher.
When the moment’s intensity grew to be too much, Mace helped her finish opening the box.
“This is just amazing. I mean, how long have you had this? You must have bought it in South Carolina.” She rolled her eyes. “No wonder you were so ticked when I got back to the boat the day I went to the mall. You were out buying me a present and I’d gone shopping with the girls. I’m sorry, Mace. I had no idea.”
“Oh, uh …” Prickly heat crawled up his neck. He tugged at his collar. “I didn’t exactly buy it that night.”
She stopped. “You already had it before that?”
“Um, not really.”
Nikki set the box on the table, camera half exposed. “When did you buy this?”
“Last night.”
Her eyes widened. “What? We’re in the middle of the ocean! Did you swim down to the Super Center in Atlantis or something?”
“No.” He really hadn’t wanted to explain all the details. “I flew back to South Carolina last night while everyone was asleep.”
There was that barrage of emotions again, flitting across her face. Nikki opened her mouth but no words came out. Instead her head shook from side to side, and then she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him so hard it almost hurt. Girls are insane. They laugh when they’re embarrassed, they cry when they’re happy, and they try to choke you to death when you do something nice for them.
No wonder guys don’t understand them. Nikki loosened her grip and settled in, resting her head against his chest.
Now that he understood.
Over the next four days Nikki photographed practically everything on the boat. Vegan and Dash had become a two-person spotting team of any and all things interesting and picture worthy. They’d even dragged her out of bed one morning to capture a particularly beautiful sunrise. Apparently Vegan and Dash both had an interest in photography. And with Zero’s interest in all things Vegan, his mood had sunk from grumbler to full-on grouch.
When Nikki wasn’t snapping pictures, she worked on developing her level of faith, though she still couldn’t touch the faith ball. What had once felt like a challenge had become complete frustration.
Mace had told her over and over to think it through. Once again he was posted at the railing, sitting cross-legged as the ball mocked her. Though he’d basically made himself her personal coach, Mace wasn’t much help. He seemed to be growing more and more frustrated with her lack of ability—like the earth’s rotation depended on her. Which was a scary thought.
It made her angry, his persistence. And it made her want to be with him all the more—which made no sense at all. But in the deepest part of her being she knew he felt an urgency to help her become … whatever it was she was supposed to become. He wanted to help her be a conqueror. And an infuriating part of her found that endearing.
“You know it exists because you see it. Listen, you can even hear it,” Mace told her.
It was true. The faith ball gave off a low humming sound.
“Close your eyes. See it in your mind?” Mace said.
“Yes.”
“Hear it?”
Its gentle song called to her. “Yes.”
“Now reach out and touch it.”
She reached, fingers hungry to hold the elusive orb. Her heart rate increased. Even with her eyes closed, she knew she was almost there. Seconds later she felt something against her skin, against her fingertips. Her eyes opened to find Mace’s hands. She’d reached right through the ball. For the fourth straight day.
Mace gave her a pitiful smile. “We’ll work on it later.”
“No! I need to do it again.” She forced her attention on the ball, but again she failed.
“Nikki, it won’t do any good if you’re annoyed when you try. We’ll do it later.”
Annoyed? She was far beyond annoyed, because with each passing day she felt everything slipping from her. Emotions gurgled up from the box she’d locked them in. “Why don’t we just say what we’re thinking and stop pretending everything’s going to be okay?”
Evil was waiting to strike. She sensed it, and she worried Mace did too. It was likely the reason he was so intent on helping her master the faith ball.
“What do you mean?”
She threw her hands out. “All of it, Mace. You, me. We try not to act like a couple, but melt whenever we’re together. You want to help me, but it’s out of
fear. I’m going to cost everyone their lives if I don’t get this stupid ball thing. And it’s impossible for me. I. Don’t. Believe.” She pushed up from the deck.
After a long time, he stood. “It’s not impossible. You can do this, Nikki. It just takes …”
“Faith?” she spat. “That’s the whole problem. I have none. I’m trying, but even as I reach out I’m thinking round, silvery glowing balls don’t exist.”
Will had overwhelmed her with the little announcement she’d be called on by the Throne. The Throne. He’d also wrecked her emotional equilibrium when he told her, “This is no game.” Was the safety of the entire ship on her shoulders? It sure seemed so. And she, the chosen one, was unable to do a simple thing like touch the round, glowing sphere. To make things worse, Mace was losing his patience with her. Losing his patience with the whole thing. The most sickening part was his reaction seemed to be the catalyst that made her want to fall into Mace’s arms. Oh, she was one messed-up girl.
Mace’s voice, soft and encouraging, cut through her thoughts. “Just because something is outside your realm of experience, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. And you know that. Look how far you’ve come.”
She became statue-still for a moment. “What do you mean?”
“Well, six months ago you wouldn’t have believed half-angel beings roamed the earth. You wouldn’t have believed there were hell hounds or demons, right?”
True. She had come a long way. Mace’s smile diffused a tiny margin of her frustration, but even that couldn’t erase the impending doom that colored every waking moment. She looked behind her, where Will was smearing lotion on his chest. “Or heavenly angels.” She watched Will for a few seconds. “Is he still trying to—?”
“Get a tan?” Mace nodded. “As far as we can tell. I think he’s trying to hide it though, so don’t say anything.”
“So that is why I smell coconuts whenever he comes around.”
“Yeah. And as far as us, Nikki, you and I will do what’s right. Not by our standards, but by a measure far above our desire to be together. Because that’s how we’re both geared. We’re hardwired for it.”
She stared down at the wavy pattern in the teakwood deck. Was she hardwired to do the right thing? She used to think so, but now … Now she just didn’t trust her character. A big part of her wanted to be reckless and say, “Hey, whatever happens, happens.” And she hated that reaction. She needn’t admit it to Mace. His face reflected her insecurity.
Nikki gestured toward the angel behind them. “Will’s as pale as he was the day we left.”
Mace nodded. “Apparently angel skin doesn’t tan easily.”
“You guys have all gotten darker.” Her gaze started to roam over his exposed skin, but she stopped herself at his pecs. Hard to drag her eyes away from those muscles, but she managed. Hardwired to do what’s right. Uh, yeeeeaaah.
He cleared his throat. “Half-human. Guess that makes tanning possible.”
The slight movement caused the amulet around his neck to shift. It was different from the one Vegan had given her back in Missouri, but fashioned in the same manner. Nikki stepped to him and reached to touch the necklace. Anything to redirect the conversation. “I remember the first night I saw this.” Her finger trailed the cord as her mind went back. Mace had doused his shirt in the water to soothe the burns she’d gotten on her hands after going into a blazing laboratory because someone was trapped inside. As she stroked the short necklace, her fingertips lightly grazed his skin.
“I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, Nikki.”
“The camera helps take my mind off of things.” She stood only inches from him. Heat from the sun rose from his body and pushed against her. “I’m just glad you’re here,” she said, words so soft they could almost be swallowed by the sound of wind and waves. She mostly hoped they would be.
He flashed a devastating smile. “I promised to see it through.”
And that’s when all her solid, commitment-filled decisions came crashing around her. She ached to move closer, but she wouldn’t. Especially now, being so brave and hardwired to do what’s right. The fact was they were like two boats helplessly trapped in the same whirlpool. Being together only meant sinking faster.
She needed to get away from him immediately.
When she moved to step past, he trapped her hand, flattening it against his chest. “We can do this,” he said, and she understood what he meant. All too well.
“Can we?” Her eyes closed and she allowed her body a moment to enjoy his nearness: fingers on her hand, his skin so warm, his heart pounding beneath her touch. His breath came in sweet waves against her cheeks.
Too many unwanted realities rushed to the surface as they stood there, the biggest being the closer they got to each other, the farther away she felt from conquering the darkness that threatened. Darkness was an unfortunate truth for both of them, one that couldn’t be denied and one that wouldn’t go away. And sadly, one whose appetite only grew with time.
How could standing with the girl you love feel so desperately lonely? She was right in thinking everything was on the line. Not just him, not just his eternity, but her very safety. Fact was, she was still in danger, and a boat ride across the ocean didn’t change that. Breaking one rule meant breaking more. Hadn’t he learned that the hard way? And breaking the rules could only mean one thing: failure.
He’d put her in danger by trying to be too close to her. They had to watch their emotions. If they didn’t, Nikki might pay for the mistake with her life.
He might have been willing to gamble with his eternity—no matter how stupid that was—but he could never gamble with Nikki’s safety, especially now. Her fate could affect … well, the world as they all knew it. He’d never been surer of anything, and in his entire life nothing had ever frightened him more.
When the wind grabbed her hair and thrust it at him, he pulled in her scent and tried to remember his commitment.
“Mace,” she said.
“What?”
“I’m … really scared.”
His hands instinctively found their way to her upper arms. “You’re trembling, Nikki. What’s wrong?” He searched her face. Her eyes were liquid honey, but so haunted in their depths it seemed the very color might drain from them.
“I don’t know.” Her words were small. “I don’t know. I feel … wrong inside. Like something awful is going to happen.” Her gaze darted around the boat but focused on nothing. “And I don’t feel like myself. I can’t sleep at night, but I’m not really tired the next day. My ears are so sensitive to everything, sometimes I just want to clamp my hands over my head so I won’t hear it all.”
He gently rubbed her arms to soothe her. “Has Will been working with you on your ability as a Seer?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe you’re tapping into that power.”
“Maybe. But whenever he instructs me to draw, there’s nothing except this burning urgency to master it. I’ve tried to sketch, but nothing happens. It doesn’t feel the same as when I drew the hell hounds in the woods or the laboratory on fire.”
“What did it feel like then?”
“Electric. Almost living. Like the pencil was alive in my hand. I just connected and the drawing happened.”
He raised a hand to her cheek. “Don’t worry. When you need to see, you will.”
“I hope you’re right. Because if you’re wrong, I’m no good to anyone here.”
“I’m not wrong, Nikki.” He dropped his lips to her forehead and pressed a gentle kiss onto her skin. And that was close to tempting fate. “Come on. Let’s go swimming.”
It was the second time Ocean deemed it safe enough to stop the boat for them.
Nikki could barely believe the sight around her—Halflings flying, swooping, then crashing into the water. Were they always such daredevils? Probably. Even the girls flew to the crest of the mast and swan-dived into the ocean. She reached a conclusion: Halflings were fearless.
But Nikki couldn’t seem to concentrate, no matter the glorious display. All day long she’d felt as though tiny fingernails were clawing her insides. As the day dragged on, the sensation increased until she was forced to climb out of the water and remain on deck, watching the winged creatures float around her, and occasionally rubbing her hands over the goose bumps on her bare arms.
Raven’s dark gray wings blocked the sun and created a V-formation shadow on the deck. She’d been aware of his gaze going to her whenever he performed some death-defying feat. The other boys mimicked him—excluding Mace—each one trying to outdo the last.
He was dripping wet when he stepped onto the deck beside her. Tipping one wing, he shook water onto her skin. “You look hot,” he said with a mischievous grin.
She caught the double meaning. “Thanks for cooling me off.”
“Anytime.” He flipped his hair from his face, but strands of it clung to his wet cheeks. “Swim with me,” he said.
She shook her head. “No, Raven. I just want to sit out here on the deck for a while.”
He tipped his head to the sun for a moment. “Come on. I want to show you something.”
She pinned him with her eyes.
“I’m serious. You’re gonna love this.” His dark blue eyes glistened and a tiny dimple in one cheek became visible. “Listen.”
At first, she only heard the sounds of the others: wings fluttering, laughter, the boys taunting each other. Beyond that, she could hear water and wind, and the gentle hum of the faith ball. Then … Yes, there was another sound. High-pitched, echoing. “What is it?”
He reached for her hand.
She recognized the sound, but from where? “What is it, Raven?”
“Come on, I’ll show you, but you have to be quiet. If the others hear, they’ll scare them off.”
She knew better, but she reluctantly slid her hand into Raven’s.
He led her to the opposite side of the boat and pointed down, where a group of dolphin swam just below them. Nikki sucked in a breath when one jumped out of the water and landed with a splash.
Raven wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hang on.”
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