“You’ll survive.”
Nikki forced her gaze to her sketchbook. Flipping past drawings, she stopped at a blank page. With warmth pooling in her stomach, she pulled a steadying breath and began to draw.
He would be her masterpiece.
Chapter 21
What’s it like when Halflings fall in love?” Nikki asked, snuggled up against Mace on a deck chair. Once she’d finished her drawing, they’d settled onto a cushioned seat by the water. Waves rolled toward them, pushed along by the current just like the two of them had been pushed. Together, apart, then back again.
Mace really did stabilize her world. He truly was the one who made everything make sense. With Raven, she wanted to run away. But Mace forced her to face the hard, unforgiving truth head-on. And there was a strength in that she couldn’t deny.
Mace maneuvered his head to look at her face.
She smiled. “It must be amazing.”
He kissed her forehead. “Do you know much about eagles?” She shook her head.
He leaned back against the cushion. “Eagles mate for life. But before they do, they go through this elaborate ritual where the female soars to these amazing heights.”
“She’s showing off for him?” Nikki asked.
“No, she wants to make sure he’s worthy. She carries a stick high into the air and drops it.” His fingertips traced her arm.
She quivered. “And?”
“He has to catch it.”
“Sounds simple enough.” She moved just enough to press the length of her leg against his.
“That’s just the beginning. She chooses another stick and another.” Mace angled and kissed the side of her head. “Until finally she picks a tree branch that weighs the same as her.”
“And she drops it?” Nikki asked.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
He pivoted to look at her. “Because every female should know that the mate she chooses can catch her if she falls.”
Then his arms were there, all around her, holding her, protecting her. That’s what Mace did. Always. And she’d not made his job easy. Over and over she’d fallen, and over and over he’d been there.
As if he heard her thoughts, he whispered, “I’ll catch you, Nikki.”
She nuzzled deeper into him, drawing his scent into her nose. “You already did.”
Some horrible, irritating thing was pulling at her arm. She moaned before realizing it was Mace, and that she must have dozed off. She squeezed her eyes shut when he tried to rouse her.
“Come on,” he said. “I want to show you something.”
“Can’t it wait until … oh, say, next year?” she teased. “We’ve been out here on the deck for two hours.” For all she cared, time could stop.
“And, no, it can’t wait until next year.” He rose and tugged her dead weight.
“Fine,” she said in a breathy whisper. “Where are you taking me?”
“To watch the eagles.”
Her interest piqued, she lumbered off the chair. Once standing, Mace caught her in a firm hold. A sexy smile crossed his face. “Hang on,” he said, and unfurled his wings and leapt. From above she could perceive the earth below, but as if through a veil. A golden hue tinted everything. Other times she’d flown, they’d been moving at such a phenomenal speed her eyes hadn’t adjusted in time to see anything.
But now they watched it through a dazzling fog. Cities came into view and disappeared as they passed.
Sometimes Mace beat his powerful wings, body tensing with each push. But most of their time was spent soaring on the thermal drafts. She spotted a city below. Gatherings of lights illuminated various portions until it appeared to be made up of miners with their oil lamps huddled together.
“What is that?” she asked, awed by the light so beautiful she wanted to stare at it forever.
“Prayers,” he said.
“What?”
He nodded below. “The youth groups in that city are holding an all-night prayer vigil.”
Upon closer inspection, she realized the gatherings of lights were concentrated within buildings, many of which sported crosses on the rooftops. The golden lights were visible through the buildings.
“What you’re seeing are their prayers rising to the Throne.”
“Wow. Does it … you know, make a difference?”
He scanned the area beneath them. “It can change a city. If caught, it can change a state, even a nation.”
She started to ask him what he meant by caught, but she noticed he’d slowed as he angled toward a distant mountaintop. She didn’t know how long they’d flown. She didn’t care; time seemed so inconsequential now. They touched down on a flattened rock with a natural seat carved into the stone. He snapped his wings shut and gestured for her to sit. “Do you need me to build you a fire? I realize it’s a little cooler here.”
“Not if you sit by me. Keep me warm?”
He sank into the seat and pulled her close. “Look.” He nodded toward another rock face.
Two majestic eagles soared and dipped in the sky as the sun began to peek over a mountaintop near them.
Awestruck, Nikki gasped when the first bird climbed higher and higher. When the eagle dropped a stick, the other sailed on the wind to capture it. The dance continued as sticks became branches. As Mace had said, the final limb was so heavy, the female seemed barely able to lift it. Once in flight, she carried it to an incredibly high point.
Mace whispered against her hair. “Look closer, Nikki.”
She flashed a frown, but concentrated.
“Closer,” he encouraged.
She focused her attention on the eagles as the female dropped the tree limb. “Halflings,” she whispered almost reverently. Her eyes widened, blinked, then widened again. “They’re actually Halflings.”
The branch plummeted toward the earth. Mace pointed.
“The male must wait until the last possible moment before capturing this one.”
But Nikki could barely listen, and couldn’t move. The limb rolled and tumbled closer to the ground. Just behind it, a male Halfling with wings tucked in rocketed like a bullet. He gathered speed until he was only a blur, gaining on the branch as he dropped.
Her hands shot up to cover most of her face. “Will he make it?”
But Mace wouldn’t let her hide. He grabbed her hands and dragged them from her eyes. “Watch and see.”
After excruciating moments, and just before the branch crashed into the rocky ground, the male’s wings cracked open as he snagged the limb.
Nikki released the breath she’d been holding.
Meeting in the air, the two Halflings tumbled into one another’s arms, drifting, climbing, falling.
“It’s beautiful,” she said. It’s something I can never give you. But she forced the thought from her mind. Tonight was perfect, tomorrow seemed forever away, even if the sun was rising near them.
“I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“Me either.”
She pushed back to look at his face.
“Just heard the stories.” His eyes followed a trail to the Halflings. “I didn’t realize it would be so …”
“Amazing,” she finished for him.
“Yeah.” But there was something there. Some irritating little worm boring into their perfect night. Nikki recognized it as reality and rejected it with fierce determination. Nothing would steal her perfect night. It might be the only one she got.
Mace touched down on her balcony and hugged her. Nikki snagged her water from beside the lawn chair and chugged the whole thing. “So thirsty these days,” she said.
Faking an English accent, he bowed. “Other than water, did the evening meet your expectations, my lady?”
She frowned. My lady. Damon’s special nickname. Damon. His name officially brought reality crashing down.
What was she doing? What was she thinking? She’d reacted carelessly. Watching the Halflings only solidified the stupidity of her actions. She
slid a hand through her hair. “Everything is so confusing right now.” Nikki hugged the bottle like it was a lifeline.
Mace frowned.
The last month flashed like fireworks in her mind. She had a job to do. She had to find the man who killed her parents. Then, only then, could she move on to a life with … What? With Mace? No, certainly not that. She couldn’t give him what he needed. Damon was the only hope of a real life, one separate from boys with wings, and eagles … and love.
Mace noticed the change in her. His eyes sharpened.
“I’m confused,” she repeated, and placed her palm against her throbbing temple. “Everything is … wrong.”
Mace placed a hand on her arm, and she could feel the panic coursing through him. “No, Nikki. It’s not. We’ll find a way to be together.”
Was it possible? She didn’t see how. Maybe once she settled the score for her parents, but not now. She wouldn’t ask Mace to trek that path with her. It would definitely destroy him. Wasn’t it destroying her bit by bit, wearing away her conscience like a poison corroding her emotions? “This was a mistake,” she said.
“A mistake? How can you say that?” His fingers tightened. “Everything is right when we’re together.”
“No,” she pulled from his grasp. “The only time I feel all right is when I’m with Damon. He makes everything better.”
“Nikki, don’t trust Damon Vessler.”
She felt her eyes harden. “Damon protected me.”
“I’m telling you, he’s an evil man. And I’m the one who can protect you.”
Her chin jutted forward. “We’re about to find out who killed my parents. Once we’ve avenged their deaths—” Damon told her she’d never be able to move on without closure. That the mystery of their deaths would cripple her. She had to find the killer.
“Nikki, do you hear yourself? The path of revenge only leads to death. Revenge harbors hatred, and hate destroys everything. You’re only hurting yourself by continuing this. You can’t bring your parents back.”
Resolve overrode the pain in her eyes while vengeance wrapped around her. If she spoke the words rising to the surface, they would destroy any hope of a relationship with Mace. Ever. But if he kept talking, he might convince her the risk was worth it. Clenching her teeth, she barreled on. “And you didn’t protect them.”
His hands dropped. As if physically pushed, he stumbled back. “What?”
She let her fury gush forth. “You could have protected them if you’d wanted to.” So much hurt wafted from him, she had to step back for fear of being caught in its orbit.
“No,” he shook his head. “I didn’t know.”
She swallowed. She had to, because if she didn’t, she’d vomit. He’ll survive, she assured herself. Mace is a survivor. So she continued, pushing him to the absolute brink. “I’ll never forgive you for it. You didn’t save them, Mace.” Piece by piece, her heart was cracking. “And I don’t need you to save me. For the first time I realize I have to face things on my own. When I return home, I’m moving out of Damon’s mansion and back into my own house, but I don’t want you there. I need you to stay away.”
His tone became a plea. “Nikki, listen to me. We can’t cross a human’s will. If you say I can’t come onto your property, I won’t be able to. No matter what.” Everything in him pleaded. His eyes, his body language. “Take it back, baby.”
“Why? It’s what I want.” Her head tilted defiantly. “And if you remember, you promised earlier to give me whatever I want.” She pulled from his touch and disappeared into the room.
When she was sure he’d gone, Nikki collapsed onto the bed, trying to erase the picture of him from her mind. Lying there, she understood what it meant to be heartless.
Two days later, she settled in at the home she’d grown up in, but Damon had bought new furniture for the space. Good thing, because she’d gotten rid of most of her parents’ belongings. “You don’t need anyone to raise you, since you’re grown,” Damon had told her. She agreed. He’d said she was free to choose between living at the mansion with him or at her own house with a full staff. She’d almost laughed. How much of a staff could one teenager in a three-bedroom ranch house need?
Despite her wishes, Mace appeared every few hours and stood at the edge of her property. She could feel his presence. When he drew near, her chest ached. Every. Single. Time. And she hated him for that. Or maybe she hated herself. Though she couldn’t help it. She felt strangely disconnected to her past, like it wasn’t her own. Again, her memories seemed more like a long, sad movie than reality.
The following morning, Damon arrived with a bouquet of fresh flowers. He handed them to the housekeeper and barked for her to put them in water. He’d also brought a case of the imported water she’d grown so fond of. Crossing the living room, he took Nikki’s hands in his. “Are you settling in, my lady?”
“I am.” But his grasp sent a cold chill through her.
Making sure the housekeeper had disappeared into the kitchen, he grinned. “We found him.”
“What?” The whoosh of anxiety took her by surprise.
“The man responsible. He had your father’s wallet, your mother’s credit cards, and the case of swords. He’d sold one for three hundred dollars, and was attempting to sell the others on eBay when we found him.”
Anguish and disgust fueled her hostility. My parents' lives reduced to a few hundred dollars and a classified on the Internet. “There’s no justice.”
“Worse than that, a police officer who’s a friend of mine says the evidence is circumstantial. If turned over to the authorities, he’ll likely go free.”
“No!”
“We have to make our own justice, Nikki. I can order a kill on him, but—”
“But what?” she insisted.
His black eyes cooled. “Nikki, you need to make this kill.”
“What?” She grabbed his arm for support and detested her reaction; so filled with weakness. Hadn’t she wanted that very thing? Hadn’t she invested the last month into training to do exactly what Damon proposed? But now that the opportunity arose, she couldn’t imagine taking a life, even one that didn’t deserve to continue.
Damon’s suggesting it himself also seemed wrong. She’d kept quiet about her desire for revenge, fearing Damon would try to talk her out of it. Instead, he suggested it. Shouldn’t he want to protect her? Seriously, what kind of man urges a seventeen-year-old to kill someone? Maybe she’d misunderstood. He couldn’t have said what she thought.
Then he repeated it. “You need to make this kill—to set you free. Then you can move on. It’ll all be over.”
On the outside her emotions were raw and bleeding and eager, but far deeper she knew she couldn’t murder. It just wasn’t in her. She shook her head. “No,” she mumbled. “I don’t think I can.”
His once-gentle touch became painful. “You can! Think about them, Nikki. Your mom and dad, robbed of the chance to see you graduate. Imagine your wedding day, with no father to walk you down the aisle. This man has taken everything from you.”
Her teeth clenched while visions of a familyless life played in her head. Everything she loved, stolen from her by someone who deserved to die.
Damon slid her hands into his. “Come outside with me, Nikki,” he purred. “Show me what you can do.”
His words pounded in her head, a drumbeat growing in intensity. Joining the anger she already felt, her emotions coalesced into a frenzied desire to destroy the monster who’d shattered her world. She allowed him to lead her outside. With each step, blackness hovered at the edges of her vision, darkening the boundaries, but the center was in sharp focus.
Once on the lawn, Damon caressed her hair. “You know my ability as an opponent?”
She nodded, trying to separate his words—so soft, so caring—from the fury burning in his eyes. “There is none better.”
“Try to kill me. You won’t succeed, but you have to let it turn. Forget about my life. Only see the killer. Do
it for your parents, Nikki. Do it for yourself.”
She blindly obeyed by raising her hands and sliding into a fighting stance. An image of her parents’ attacker emerged in her mind. Nikki jumped and landed a front kick to his chest.
Damon reeled back, but his quick reflexes made it appear as if she’d never made contact. “Good girl.”
Something deep within churned. Her reason dimmed like a streetlamp that had outlived its life span, flickering before finally going out. Once it had, a tarlike loathing inched through her, suffocating every desire to preserve life.
The killer stood before her now. His smile a sickening gloss of hate. His smug posture, tilted head, his coaching her like she was a first-year karate student. She tuned in to the fury driving her, and it was glorious. More vivid than the most beautiful of paintings, sweeter than the choicest of fruit. She faked a punch, spun, and connected a ridge hand to his head. His skin compressed as she felt bone, then sliced as her fingernail slit his cheek.
Seeing the bright crimson beginning to leak, she dropped her hands, and the shadowy veil fell from her eyes. What am I doing?
When she retreated, Damon struck and pain exploded across her face, then down her neck as her head snapped back violently.
“You gotta do better than that,” he scoffed, his tone condescending. “Poor little fatherless girl,” he continued to taunt, shoving her to the ground. She landed with a thud. He hovered above her and screamed, “Come on, Nikki. Try to kill me. Pretend I’m him. Because I did it. I killed them.”
Calm descended on her, like the quiet assurance she’d experienced whenever jumping off the high dive. Water is below, and soon it will swallow me.
“And you know what?” He leaned within a breath of her face. “I loved it. The way your father pleaded for your mother’s life. The way she cried and called out your name. She was calling for you, Nikki. You could have saved them if you’d been there.”
Her bent fingers flew out and grabbed his pompous, gelled hair. She entwined her digits and jerked his head down while using her legs to fling him over her head.
He landed flat on his back, air hissing from his lungs.
Guardian Page 20