Chapter 21
Ailsa slid her foot into her boot. The inn was abuzz with voices and noises, while outside in the courtyard arose the whicker of horses and the thud of boots scuffling across the flagstones. The scent of ham and sausages wafted upstairs, and her stomach growled in return.
The whole world was now awake, which was very different from late last night when she’d gone to Nik’s bedchamber. She couldn’t help but smile. What a glorious, glorious night. Whatever happens, I will have that memory.
It was a bittersweet thought, one she’d avoided thinking about all morning—that a memory was all it ever could be.
And that is fine, she told herself, ignoring the lump in her throat. I knew that from the beginning. Perhaps that is why I felt bold enough to do as I’ve done. There can be no complications.
Can there?
She’d awoken this morning to find herself scooped against Nik’s broad chest, his steady breathing warm against her ear. She’d never felt more comfortable or safe, resting in his arms.
But feeling safe and being safe were two very different things and she’d quickly arisen, put on her chemise, and slipped back into her own room. There she’d waited in bed until she heard Rurik and Gregor speaking on the stairway before she arose and rang the maid for a bath.
Now, bathed and dressed, Ailsa felt as if she owned the world. This venture had been freeing in many ways. Smiling, she turned her face toward the morning sun that poured through the window, and basked in its warmth. She supposed she should feel some sort of loss for having given herself to Nik last night, but all she could dredge up was a relaxed, sated sigh. She’d never dreamed she could be so forward or wanton. And it had been obvious that Nik had enjoyed her efforts, which only confirmed her decision all the more.
She stood, pushed her still-damp hair to one side, and stretched, as languid as a cat basking on a windowsill. So this is what a woman of the world feels like the morning after indulging herself. Truly, other than a faint tenderness to her nether regions, which the bath had already eased, she felt stronger and more capable than ever.
Nik had the right of it—he never worried what other people thought or said. Perhaps it was time she did the same. This morning, she felt as if she could conquer the world. She even found herself wondering if the huge desk at Castle Leod was big enough to challenge her forever. Was it was possible she’d now want more than it could offer? It was a thrilling thought.
She stepped around the small tub the maid had carried in earlier and had just picked up her comb when her door flew open. “What—”
Nik stood in the doorway, his black hair falling over his brow, his green eyes cold with fury. In his hand, he held a sheet. He stalked in and slammed the door behind him.
She blinked. “What’s wrong?”
“This.” He shook the bedsheet, and she saw a small, reddish stain in the center.
Her face heated. “Oh. That.”
“Yes, that. You are a virgin.” He said it as if it were the worst thing she could possibly be.
“Well, I was a virgin, but now, nae longer.” She tugged the comb through her hair.
He watched her with a stunned expression and then threw the bedsheet to the floor. “Bloody hell, do you not know what this means?”
“Aye, it means I’m nae longer a virgin, something I discovered last night around two. Or I think it was aboot two; I’m nae certain as to the exact time.”
“This is not a laughing matter!” He stalked about the room, as if in a cage. “You could be with child.”
“We took nae precautions,” she pointed out matter-of-factly. “You withdrew, if you remember.”
His face turned red. “This is my fault.”
“It is our fault,” she corrected sharply. “But rest assured aboot that; ’tis nae the proper time of the month for such.”
“Are you certain?”
“Verrah. I’ve sisters, you know. More than one.”
“That’s good, I suppose. But, dammit, you should have told me before we—” He raked a hand through his hair.
“Why? Would it have mattered?”
“Da,” he said grimly. “I wouldn’t have touched you.”
“Then I’m glad I dinnae tell you, so that I was able to enjoy the best half hour of this expedition thus far.”
When he didn’t smile or even agree, she threw the comb back on the dresser. “Fine. You and I agree it would be unfortunate if I were with child. But I doubt it would happen after one time, especially at this time of the month, and that my first attempt, too.”
He eyed her with a dark look. “You are damnably calm about this.”
“To be honest, I’m relieved.”
“Was your virginity such a burden?”
“Nae, but my curiosity was.” That was true, especially after she’d met him. “Now I’ll nae longer wonder what I have given oop by being my father’s estate manager. And dinnae say I might still wed, for nae one visits Castle Leod other than my family.”
His mouth tightened. “So last night was nothing; you were merely sating your curiosity and nothing more.”
It was more than that. Much more. But she hadn’t allowed herself time to consider what. And now, facing the unmistakable fury in Nik’s eyes, she found it even more difficult to do so.
Why was he so angry? There was no reason for him to be so unless he’d thought she— Her gaze flew to his face. “You thought I was planning on using my loss of innocence against you.”
“Of course not.”
But she saw the way his expression shuttered, as if to keep her from reading his expression. Bloody hell, that’s exactly what he thinks.
Up until now, she’d been sympathetic to the bitterness that encircled him. She knew why he was so distrustful of those around him.
But when he turned those uncharitable thoughts on her, and after such a beautiful experience, she felt nothing but anger. “I am nae the sort of person who would use such a despicable method to win a husband—especially nae one who spends all his time suspecting the worst oot of everyone he meets.”
Nik winced at her bitter words. Bozhy moj, what had he done? This morning, his first thought had been of Ailsa and their passionate tryst. Their time together had been special—heart-wrenchingly so, and he knew it.
Perhaps that was why, when he’d found the bloodied bedsheet, he’d grown instantly and blindingly furious. Of all the women in the world, she was the last, and perhaps the only, one he’d thought he could trust. To think even for a second that she wasn’t, that she was no different from all the others, had burned him with righteous fury. He hadn’t been angry so much at her as at himself for falling so thoroughly under her spell that he hadn’t questioned a damned thing when she’d arrived unbidden at his door in the middle of the night. Had any other woman done so, he’d have suspected a trap, and looked for it. But with her?
His heart tightened with a heavy ache. He could see the truth in her eyes, and could feel the weight of his error, horrid that it was. He spread his hands. “I was overly suspicious, I admit it. But you must understand, It would not be the first time such a thing has been attempted.”
Ailsa’s fury was so strong that it burned her tongue. “Then lock your cock in a box and throw away the key. But dinnae come here and accuse me of doing anything other than enjoying what you freely offered. And until now I thought I had enjoyed it. Now I wish it had never happened.”
He winced. “Ailsa, none of this is what I meant to say. I was just—worried, that is all.”
“You’re worried someone might find a way to slip under that shield you’ve put between yourself and the world. Well, Mr. High-and-Mighty Prince, you’ve met one woman who won’t even bother to try—me.”
His expression darkened. “Are you done yet?”
“Nae. You pretend to be this person, and that person, and never are you just Nikolai. Ever. It must get wearisome, trying to remember which person you’re pretending to be at any given moment. Who were you last
night whilst we were together? For ’tis obvious to me now that it was nae you.”
“You can’t say these things without—”
“I will, and you’ll listen.” She marched to him and poked him in the chest. “Rest easy, for I’ve nae intention of marrying you. Nae if you were the last mon on earth. Nae a mon who believes the worst of everyone around him, including me. So you’re safe. I want nothing of you, nae matter the circumstances.”
She turned on her heel and stomped out, making certain her boots thudded hard on each and every step.
The nerve of that man, acting as if she’d tried to trick him! She’d thought those moments had been special, cherished even.
She reached the door of the common room, and had to stop in the hallway to fight back a sob. It took her some minutes before she could relax her face into a smile without also letting angry, furious tears slip from her eyes.
Finally, after numerous swipes at her eyes, she took a deep breath and joined the others.
She was welcomed with a smile from Gregor, respectful nods from her men, and a cool greeting from Rurik. After fixing herself a plate from the food at the side table she sat down. But her stomach, which had growled with hunger at the smell of sausage and bacon not twenty minutes ago, was now too full of anger for her to eat.
“You should try the eggs.”
She looked up to find Gregor smiling at her. “I will. I’m just thinking about Greer. He should be back soon. I hope he’s found something.”
“Me, too.” Gregor’s gaze moved over her face. “You didn’t sleep well, did you? Neither did I. My mattress felt as if it was filled with rocks, and every time I turned over, my bed creaked. I finally got up and fetched my bedroll, and took it to the stables to sleep with the others.”
Rurik, who was sitting close by, looked up from his plate. “You were up last night?”
“Aye.”
“What time?”
“Two, perhaps three.”
“I did not hear you.” Rurik sounded almost accusatory. As if he realized it, he grimaced. “As the guard, I should hear everything. The prince is my responsibility.”
“Did you sleep better in the stables?” Ailsa asked Gregor.
“Much.”
Rurik nodded. “The hay makes a good bed.”
Ailsa agreed. “I heard you get oop.”
Gregor looked surprised. “I’m sorry if I woke you. It was bloody cold outside, I can tell you that.” He hesitated. “The strangest thing happened, too. When I went outside, I heard two men talking. Or I think I did.”
“Near the stables?”
“Behind them. In the woods, perhaps. And they weren’t speaking English, either.”
Rurik leaned forward. “So you do not know what they were saying?”
Gregor shook his head. “But I could have sworn I knew one of those voices.” He frowned. “Perhaps both. I’m not sure. I just—”
The door opened and Nik appeared. He looked directly at Ailsa, who studiously ignored him. Everyone else called out greetings, and he was soon seated with Rurik, a plate before him.
He sat dark and quietly brooding, and she was uncomfortably aware of his gaze on her many times.
They were just finishing their meal when a horse clattered into the courtyard. Stewart leaned to one side and peered out a window.“’Tis Greer.”
“And MacKean?” she asked.
He looked again. “Nay. Only Greer.”
Moments later, the small, weathered huntsman hurried in the door, his pale blue eyes alight. “We found ’em,” he said gleefully. “And they’re nae far from here at all!”
Greer unfolded the map Nik had just handed him. “Lady Ailsa, you were right; the blackguards were watching the inn in Kylestrome. They had two men, one inside and the other oot. First thing this morning, a new mon arrived. He exchanged places with the one who’d stayed ootside, hidden in the bushes. We followed that one back to his camp.” Greer smirked. “He dinnae know we were there, so we were able to track him the whole way.”
Rurik muttered something under his breath.
Nik nodded. “We can surprise them.”
“Aye!” Greer rubbed his hands together. “They think they’re as safe as a baby in her mother’s arms.”
“Where are they hiding?” Gregor asked eagerly.
Greer pointed his finger at a spot on the map. “Ardvreck Castle. ’Tis an auld ruin, at the southernmost end of Loch Assynt.”
“That is verrah close,” Ailsa said, pleased.
Greer nodded.
“Do we know anything about this castle?” Gregor asked.
“’Tis a ruin, nae a functioning castle, but the walls are strong and there’s shelter from the elements.”
“Did you see the duchess?” Nik asked.
“Aye. There was a tent, and Her Grace and Lord Hamilton were sitting underneath, playing chess as if ’twere a garden party.”
“You’re certain they were nae in distress?” Ailsa asked.
“I got close enough to hear them. Lord Hamilton looked much as the last time I saw him. Unshaven, but that’s all. He was unhappy he’d just lost another game to Her Grace.”
“And Her Grace?” Nik asked.
“In the few moments I was close, she complained aboot the weather, the fact she’d been forced to look at the same view for days on end, and the lack of cushions in her chair.”
“Well,” Ailsa said in a dry tone, “it sounds as if they are both well, then.”
Nik agreed, clearly relieved beyond belief. “My grandmother will yell at us all for not coming sooner.”
Gregor straightened up from looking at the map and sent a cautious glance at Ailsa. “What do we do now?”
“Greer, where’s MacKean?”
“I left him to watch the camp. I saw four men, and two waiting at the inn in Kylestrome; there might be others oot hunting and such. MacKean’s to watch and let us know.”
“Verrah guid,” Ailsa said. “I’ll go to Kylestrome and see if delivering the ransom will be enough to win back the duchess and Lord Hamilton.”
“I’ll go with you,” Nik said.
“Nae one will go with me,” she said sharply. “While I’m gone, the rest of you will keep watch over the camp and make sure there’s nae foul play.”
“I will go with you,” Nik repeated, his jaw set.
She ignored him. “If the ransom does nae work, then—” God, she hated even saying it, for it seemed like such a risky proposition, but there was no other way, especially as they now knew where the prisoners were being held. “Then we’ll try the prince’s suggestion and rescue the prisoners ourselves.”
Greer shook his head slowly. “My lady, I have to disagree with you tryin’ to deliver the ransom at all. The mon ootside the inn was nae there for pleasure. He had a rifle. And while MacKean and I were watching, someone came doon the road and he lifted oop and drew a bead on them. He was nae on guard, but on the hunt, waitin’ for his prey.”
She frowned. “You think he’s there to shoot whoever comes to deliver the ransom? What would be the point of that?”
“I dinnae know, but ’twas obvious he was nae going to greet them with flowers and a hot toddy.”
Rurik made an impatient gesture. “Perhaps he is merely protecting his fellow inside the inn. It is dull, dreary work, standing watch. It could be he only aimed his rifle to pass the time.”
“Nae,” Greer said stoutly. “I know a mon who is huntin’ over one who is nae. And this mon was on the hunt.”
Ailsa didn’t answer, and Nik could see she was lost in thought. What are you thinking, little one? He wished to hell he could just ask her. Had he not insulted her like the veriest fool this morning, he could have done just that.
The taste of their argument still rested on his tongue, a burning, bitter pill. All the wrong words he’d said, all the wrong thoughts he’d harbored prickled at his conscience and left him restless and disappointed in himself.
He was a lout. There was no ot
her word for it.
But Ailsa . . . she’d been magnificent, all flushed fury, poking him in the chest and accusing him of allowing his overblown caution to keep everyone who cared for him at bay. It was a ridiculous charge, and yet, deep inside, he wondered if she’d seen something he hadn’t. Was it possible he’d lost a part of himself as he’d sunk deeper and ever deeper into the mire of court intrigues, and hadn’t realized it?
It wasn’t until he’d seen himself reflected in her clear gaze that he’d realized the prize he might have paid for it.
“Weel, miss?” Stewart cocked a red eyebrow, his deep voice rumbling and heavy. “Do we deliver the ransom and see what comes of it? Or do you have a different plan in mind, now that we know more?”
She sighed and, to Nik’s surprise, said, “We go to Ardvreck and win the release of the prisoners.”
“’Twill be a battle,” Greer warned.
“I know. But I trust Greer’s instincts. The ransom is merely a trap. Gregor, fetch some paper and ink from the innkeeper.” She turned to Greer. “We’ll need a map of this camp, so we know exactly where the prisoners are being held and where the watch is stationed.”
Rurik muttered something under his breath and then leaned closer to Nik. “She’s allowed that old fool of a huntsman to change her mind. I do not like this.”
“She listens to her men and trusts them.” The way she trusted me when she came to me last night, before I—He couldn’t even finish the thought, his conscience weighed so heavily on him.
It was lowering to realize he had become so callous, so filled with fear that someone might take advantage of him, that he no longer knew how to trust.
As Greer began to sketch the layout of the camp, Nik reluctantly put his thoughts behind him and leaned closer.
After they’d rescued Tata Natasha, he’d examine his soul for answers. Right now they had more immediate matters to attend to.
Chapter 22
An hour later Nik was on D’yoval, ready to ride, Rurik nearby. The day was turning gray, a low mist swirling between the purple hillocks, the scent of snow high on the wind.
Mad for the Plaid Page 23