by Leigh Bale
Hmm. That was an interesting reaction. Jakob wasn’t certain if she recognized Martin and wanted to avoid him, or if she was simply eager to finish the last column of planting. A few more minutes and she’d be done.
“Look who came to visit,” Dawdi Zeke said as he pulled up next to Jakob.
“Hallo, Martin.” Jakob tugged on the brim of his hat, determined to be polite.
“Hi, Jakob.” Martin’s gaze riveted over to Abby. She’d turned the horses and was heading toward them, her head bowed slightly as she concentrated on holding the horses in a straight line.
With the giant Belgians as a backdrop, she looked so small and frail sitting on the planter. But Jakob had learned she had a strong will and fortitude. Abby was a survivor. A good woman who would stand beside a good man against the storms of life. Jakob just didn’t think Martin was the right man for her.
“What brings you all the way out here?” Jakob asked.
“I heard you got hurt and wanted to see if you needed any help,” Martin said.
The man scanned the vast field. The rows weren’t all perfectly straight, but they were planted and ready for growth. Since she was driving a strange team of horses, Jakob thought Abby had done an outstanding job and he couldn’t have asked for more.
“As you can see, we’ve almost got the work done, thanks to Abby,” he said.
“She’s a strong little thing, isn’t she?” Martin said, a wide smile on his face.
No, not really. At least, not physically. But Jakob didn’t say that. Considering Abby’s petite height and build, he didn’t think she was strong at all. But her determination made up for a lot of what she lacked in physical stature.
“You could have asked me to plant your fields. It would have been easier on Abby,” Martin said.
“Ja, but you have your own fields to plant,” Jakob said.
Normally, Jakob would have contacted the bishop to see who in their district might be able to help out. The Amish assisted each other whenever there was trouble, but they had only nine families in their congregation. And honestly, Jakob didn’t want Martin here, mainly because the man was interested in Abby. As far as Jakob was concerned, no one was good enough for Abby.
Wait a minute! Where had that thought come from? Jakob wasn’t sure.
“I would have made the time. My vadder and I finished planting our fields five days ago. I could have helped you out,” Martin insisted.
Hyperactivity came to Jakob’s mind. He wasn’t surprised that Martin had finished his planting days earlier. He just hoped their sprouting crops didn’t get caught by a late freeze.
“Danke for the offer. We’ll keep you in mind if we need help planting our hay,” Dawdi Zeke said.
Jakob just nodded, forcing himself to smile. No one could accuse Martin of being lazy or unkind. The man was definitely a hard worker and an amazing horse trainer. One of the best in the state. He was Jakob’s brother in the faith. It wasn’t Christian for him to feel uncharitable toward the man. But he did. Which didn’t make sense. He’d never had any problem with the man before...
Before Abby came. Too bad Martin had shown up just as they were finishing.
“She’s an amazing woman, that’s for sure. Some wise man should marry her while she’s still eligible. It’d be a shame for her to leave us,” Dawdi Zeke said.
Jakob jerked his head around and stared at his grandfather. He sensed that the elderly man was digging at him, to get him to propose to Abby. But he couldn’t. Not if he wanted to remain loyal to Susan.
They talked for the next few minutes. Or rather, Martin and Dawdi Zeke talked. Jakob just listened and nodded when appropriate. And when Abby pulled the horses up, Martin waved both of his hands over his head. Other than a nod of the head, she paid him no heed and kept on going.
“Schtopp!” she called to the horses.
She’d reached the end of the column and raised the marking bar. She was finished, and Jakob breathed a long sigh of relief.
Still pulling the planter, the Belgians plodded over to the men. The horses had worked hard today and were undoubtedly eager for their comfortable stalls in the barn. They’d earned their supper tonight.
“Hallo, Martin,” Abby said, her voice sounding unenthusiastic or tired, Jakob wasn’t sure which. Maybe both.
“Hallo!” Martin smiled wide, his buoyant greeting making up for anything that Abby’s lacked.
Her face looked pale against cheeks rosy from the sun. Now that her burden was over with, she hunched her shoulders and flexed her arms, as though they ached.
“I’m sorry I didn’t stop right away. I knew if I did, I wouldn’t feel up to finishing the field today. And it had to be done now,” she said.
Again, a blaze of guilt speared Jakob’s chest. He’d pushed her too hard today, but she’d been a stand-up woman. He’d counted on her and she hadn’t let him down. Spunky and dedicated, just like Susan had been.
Thinking about his wife just then made him feel grouchy for some reason. He told himself it was because his leg was throbbing, but he knew it was something more. Something he didn’t fully understand.
“I think I’ll head back to the house,” Jakob said.
“Me, too,” Dawdi said. “Martin, why don’t you ride back to the house with Abby? You can drive the Belgians and it’ll give you two a chance to talk alone.”
“Ja, I would like that.” Martin eagerly hopped out of the small wagon and climbed up to sit beside Abby.
She readily handed over the lead lines to his capable hands, but she didn’t look too eager to be alone with him. She stared at Dawdi as if he were abandoning her.
“See you back at the house,” Dawdi said.
Jakob slapped the leads against the horse pulling his seed wagon. Dawdi followed behind.
Abby watched them go. Her gaze followed Jakob for just a moment, her eyes filled with some emotion he couldn’t name. A pleading look he found both frustrating and endearing. He hated to leave her alone with Martin, but it couldn’t be helped right now. She was a fully grown woman and would need to choose whom she married. If she wasn’t interested in Martin, she would have to tell him so. Jakob had nothing to do with it. It was up to her.
When Jakob reached the main yard, he pulled the seed wagon up in front of the barn. Dawdi Zeke was right. Abby was amazing and should marry and raise a familye of her own. He’d thought that he was her protector. That he was doing a great service by keeping her safe. Yet, she’d done nothing but help him and his familye since she’d arrived. It wasn’t right for Jakob to hold her back. He had to let her live her own life. And yet, he didn’t want her to leave. Not ever. But how could he embrace her without being disloyal to Susan? Thinking about another woman made him feel like he was betraying his wife and the love they had shared, the children they’d had and the plans they’d made together.
No matter how he looked at the situation, he just couldn’t see a way out. Not without losing Abby or Susan for good.
Chapter Ten
Abby slipped silently out of the bathroom. Dark shadows clogged the hallway, the moon gleaming through the window at the top of the stairs. The floorboards creaked beneath her bare feet and she paused, not wanting to disturb the sleeping children. It was late, but she’d been so grimy after planting the corn that she’d desperately needed to clean up.
Wearing a heavy bathrobe, she longed to crawl into bed and sleep for a zillion years. She couldn’t remember being so tired. Even Martin Hostetler’s incessant chatter at supper hadn’t bothered her. He’d stayed rather late, sitting with her on the front porch and sipping a glass of lemonade as they listened to the chirp of crickets. She’d been too exhausted to participate much in the conversation, but she couldn’t begrudge his presence. Not when he’d been such a huge help with the evening chores. He’d unhitched the draft horses and tossed them some hay while Abby ensured they had
plenty of fresh water. Then he’d unloaded the unused bags of seed corn and stacked them in a tidy corner of the barn.
Jakob had hobbled out to the barn, intending to assist. His leg was so swollen that Naomi had been forced to slit the trouser leg up to the knee. All he could do was sit on a bench and gaze helplessly while she and Martin milked the cows. As she had worked, she’d felt Jakob watching her. A couple of times, she’d looked over at him, to assess his discomfort. The last thing she wanted was for him to collapse and have Martin help her get him back to the house.
He’d glanced away, seeming embarrassed to be caught staring. From the tense lines on his face, she could tell his injury was still hurting. No doubt he was relieved to have the work done. And she was so glad to be a part of that accomplishment. To make him pleased and reassured.
She hoped Martin wasn’t too disappointed in her. She’d been exhausted. When he’d finally been ready to leave, she’d walked him to his buggy. Beneath the moonlit sky, he’d asked if he could court her. Feeling no attraction for him, she’d turned away and told him the truth. That they could never be more than friends.
“Someday, you’ll find someone special,” she’d said.
“I hope so.” He’d shown a half smile but no malice as he turned and got into the buggy and drove away.
Now, Abby lit a bright lamp and set it on the tall chest beside her bed. She jerked the blankets back, not even caring if Reuben might have put cracker crumbs between her sheets. At this point, she was drained enough to sleep through a nuclear explosion. Just a few more minutes and she could close her eyes and rest.
Her body trembled like gelatin. Several times throughout the day, she’d feared the Belgians might pull her arms out of their sockets. For the most part, the horses were gentle beasts, but they were so strong. By late afternoon, it had taken every ounce of willpower to keep tension on the lead lines. It had taken a lot of exertion to direct the horses where she wanted them to go.
She laid her bathrobe on the foot of the bed. Dressed in her modest flannel nightgown, she pushed the sleeves down over her shoulders. Reaching for a pot of aloe vera cream she’d made herself, she popped the lid and kneaded the salve into her skin with slow, purposeful strokes. The ache was bittersweet. Though her muscles were stiff and sore, she felt a deep satisfaction for what she had completed. She’d earned Jakob’s, Naomi’s and Dawdi Zeke’s respect. The seed corn was in the ground. Her efforts had been worth it. Tomorrow, she’d turn on the irrigation sprinklers in the morning and help Naomi with the baking in the afternoon. All would be well.
“Abby, are you still awake?”
She turned and gasped. Naomi stood peering around the slightly ajar door. The woman’s eyes widened in surprise, and Abby didn’t need to ask why. She scrambled to pull the sleeves of her nightgown back over her shoulders. With it settled into place, she faced Naomi.
“Abby! Those scars. What happened to you?” Naomi stepped into the room and reached to touch Abby’s arm, but she drew away.
No, no! Naomi had seen what Abby had tried so hard to hide. Her cheeks flooded with heat. She didn’t want anyone’s pity. She felt ashamed, as if she’d done something wrong. Like she should run away. But she wouldn’t do that ever again. She was a grown woman now and lived here in Colorado. She was safe. She didn’t need to hide anymore.
Or did she?
“Ach, it’s nothing,” she said. “Just some old scars from an accident years ago. I’d almost forgotten about them.”
Or at least, she’d tried to forget. And to forgive. It was what Gott would want her to do after all. To let the atonement wash away her pain and grief. And her anger. Now that she was an adult, she was determined to be happy. To put the sad times behind her. She’d tried so hard to let go of her ire. It was only at moments like this that the past abuse she’d suffered still haunted her.
Brushing off her morose mood, Abby reached for her comb to part her hair down the middle. She smiled, acting like nothing was wrong. “I still can’t believe we got the corn planted today.”
“Ja, it was a big job. We are ever in your debt.” Naomi stood beside the bed and folded her arms, her forehead crinkled in a frown of concern. “Land’s sake, child. Those scars don’t look like nothing to me. Are there more? I couldn’t see your back. It looked like the scars went all the way down. What accident could have caused those horrible marks on your skin?”
So much for her attempt to distract Naomi. Shaking her head, Abby forced herself to concentrate on her hair. Fearing Naomi might see the agony written in her eyes, she refused to meet the older woman’s gaze. “I fell, that’s all. It’s a bad memory I’d rather forget. Please let it go.”
Naomi opened her mouth, as though she wanted to say more. She must have changed her mind, because she pursed her lips instead. “I’m worried about you, that’s all. If anyone hurt you, they should be dealt with.”
Abby turned and rested a hand on her arm. “What’s done is done. Gott has taken care of me. There’s no need to worry. I’m fine now. Really, I am.”
The older woman continued to scowl, not looking convinced at all. Abby forced herself to relax. To think about the many blessings in her life. She didn’t need to live in the past. Not anymore. She could be happy now and made a conscious choice to feel joy instead of fear and pain.
“Was there something you wanted to speak with me about?” Abby asked, trying to keep her tone light and not let her hands shake as she brushed out her long hair.
“Ja, but I can’t remember what it was now. I guess I’m getting old and forgetful.” Naomi gave a soft laugh and waved her hand in the air.
“Ne, you just have a lot on your mind. But I’ll help you with the baking. I’ve got to figure out how to move the sprinkler system first. Jakob said it’s not difficult and he’ll show me what to do.”
“He’s right. It’s not hard at all. I’ve moved the sprinklers many times. If he keeps his leg elevated, he can ride out to the field in the wagon with you and coach you on what to do.”
“Then all is well.” Abby set the brush down and came to embrace the older woman.
Naomi hugged her back. “Danke for what you did today. You’re such an asset to us. I’m so grateful you came to stay here.”
Abby froze. The burn of tears caused her to blink several times. For a few moments, she felt overwhelmed by emotion. No one had ever said such wonderful words to her before.
“Danke. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” she whispered.
Naomi drew back and smiled tenderly before patting Abby’s cheek. “I’m only speaking the truth. I don’t know what we would do without you. Now, you rest.”
The woman turned and left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Abby bit her bottom lip, sinking down onto the bed. She’d been so worried about coming here. Colorado was a different place. In Ohio, she’d never had to move heavy sprinkler pipes to water their crops. When she’d first arrived in Colorado, she’d been so worried that Jakob wouldn’t remember her, or really want to marry her. Part of her fears had come true. There would be no wedding. Not for her. Which meant she had no permanent home. She didn’t belong anywhere. Not really.
And then a thought occurred to her. What if Jakob found someone else to wed? Abby couldn’t stay here if he took a new bride. He’d want his room back, so he could set up housekeeping with his wife. The children would have a new mother. The familye wouldn’t need her any longer. She’d be in the way, like a sore thumb.
She’d have to leave eventually. But where could she go? Everyone in her faith expected her to marry. And if she did that, she would never be a free agent. Never in charge of her own happiness. But she believed it was what Gott expected. To raise her own familye.
Instead of pushing him away, maybe she should have encouraged Martin Hostetler more. He wasn’t bad-looking. He was nice enough and a hard worker, but she could never bring h
erself to marry him. Not even to provide herself with a permanent home. In spite of Naomi’s comforting words, Abby felt as though her situation here at the Fishers’ farm was temporary. She couldn’t stay here forever. Jakob could decide to marry someone else one day, and then she’d be in the way. She must find a stable place to live. A place to belong forever. And yet, leaving this farm scared Abby more than anything else she’d faced. Because now that she was here, she never wanted to go.
* * *
Nine days later, the swelling in Jakob’s leg had gone down enough that he could walk without wincing. The bruise had faded to an ugly yellowish-brown, with the hoof print still outlined clearly across his flesh. The injury could have been so much worse. He’d been blessed and thanked Gott for taking care of him and for sending Abby to them.
As usual, he awoke early to do the morning chores. No matter how exhausted he was, his body clock always woke him up at the same time every day.
After washing and dressing, he opened the door to the dawdy haus and stepped outside. The night shadows embraced him. Joe nudged his leg with his black nose, and Jakob patted the dog’s head. The animal accompanied him silently as he crossed the yard toward the barn. The early morning air wasn’t as chilly as it had been a week ago, and he was satisfied that there would be no killing frost to destroy their crops. Any day now, the corn would begin to sprout. A feeling of anticipation swept over him. He couldn’t wait to see the fields burgeoning with new growth, which would turn into tall green stalks. He had Abby to thank for their bounty.
As he passed the house, he wondered if she was up yet. Usually she beat him to the barn. A light glimmered in the upstairs bedroom where she was staying. That meant she was still inside, moving slower than usual. He hated to work her so hard. He dreaded the thought that she might think he was just as bad as Simon. If he could finish the milking before she arrived, it might alleviate her load today.
As he entered the barn, the prospect of being alone with Abby brought him a feeling of excitement. He had to remind himself that Martin Hostetler wanted to court her, even though she wasn’t interested in the man. She didn’t know it, but word had spread quickly of her polite rebuttal. Her lack of attraction both pleased and disappointed Jakob. Marriage would mean that she’d have to leave, and he didn’t want her to go. His desires were purely selfish, and he was ashamed that he resented Martin. In the past couple of weeks, he’d grown too accustomed to Abby’s presence here on the farm, yet she deserved so much more.