His gaze searched hers, and he nodded slowly. “I put pressure on your wound so you wouldn’t bleed out. I held you together until the paramedics came. Why?”
She nodded, and the knot of anxiety inside her began to unfurl. Heat flowed through her, along with a curious anticipation she couldn’t explain. She studied his face and chose her words with care. Though she’d been the one shot and beaten, he looked almost as wounded, like a dog whose master smacked it only to call it back over.
“Did you also talk to me while you held me? Did you tell me you love me?” She raised her chin and held her breath. She still loved him, even though he’d ripped the rug out from under her when she discovered the cameras. He’d hurt her, and she’d been beyond furious. But she still loved him. And if what she remembered was true, maybe he loved her?
He looked around the room, and a pinkness rose in his face. The blush looked odd under his tan, on such an alpha-male type. She caught his gaze and waited. He wiped a hand down his face, and paced away, before turning back toward her.
“I didn’t know what I was feeling for you. I couldn’t understand how you knew what you felt when you told me. I knew I loved being with you. I loved hearing about your hopes and dreams. I wanted to tell you mine. And I loved making love to you. But was all that love? I didn’t know.”
This wasn’t going the way she expected. Everything he said was great, but he still hadn’t said the three words. She opened her mouth to ask him again, but he continued.
“I didn’t know, until I held you in my arms, while your life blood poured through my fingers. I didn’t know, until I thought I might not ever hear your voice, see your smile, or laugh at your sassy comebacks. And yes, when I thought I’d never make love to you again, or hear that little hitch in your voice when you’re ready to come.
“I’ll never forget that feeling of fear when you got shot, and I was holding you, waiting for those damn paramedics. That overwhelming helplessness, the guilt that I was the one who put you in danger. And that’s when I knew I loved you. I said it to you, over and over, that night, because I hoped and prayed, you’d somehow hear me.”
Tears began to leak from her eyes, she who hadn’t cried since she put her parents in the ground. She blamed the injury, that it made her weak, but she knew better. She wanted to believe him because she loved him. She hadn’t stopped loving him. She couldn’t turn her emotions on and off like a light switch.
She swiped at her damp eyes. He stepped closer to the bed. When he continued, it was in a softer tone.
“I know it’s too late, that I hurt you and betrayed you, but I had to tell you. You were right when you said I should have told you who I was, what I was. I lied by omission, and you nearly paid for my unprofessionalism with your life. You deserve an apology in person. I screwed up royally, and I want to say, I’m sorry. It’s not enough, I know it’s not enough, but…I can’t have you hating me.”
“I don’t hate you, Sawyer.” His gaze slid over her like a green velvet caress, and her insides quivered, softening like heated syrup. Yet his duplicity stabbed her in the heart.
“You hurt me. You used me, lied to me, to get what you needed. I was an open book to you, yet I only got to know the Sawyer you let me see. You came on to me like a speeding train, and I fell for you. Hard. I thought you felt the same, that maybe I’d finally found the person who understood me, who would let me be me. Instead, everything about you was a lie. I don’t know the real you.”
She bit her lip and looked away. He startled her by moving to her side, reaching out and touching her hair with one finger. She looked at his hand, and then into his face. The anguish she saw there, the pain and remorse, mirrored her own. She realized that, however much he’d hurt her, it was taking its toll on him. He wasn’t immune.
“I know that.” He took a deep breath. “I love you, Kate. I know a million reasons why you can tell me to go to hell, and they’d all be valid. But I had to say it to you, face to face.”
What should she say? Should she tell him it was too little, too late? That she couldn’t trust him because he’d lied? But that had been his job—Oh, it was too confusing. She didn’t know what to say. She opened her mouth, and saw the light leap in his gaze.
“It’s not too late, Sawyer.”
The light in his eyes flickered into a flame. She watched it strengthen, glow. And continued. “It’s not too late, but I’m also tired of being hurt. I can’t go through it anymore.”
“If you’re willing to give me a second chance, I promise on my life, I won’t hurt you again. Well, not knowingly. We can go as slow as you want, for as long as you decide. You can ask me any question. Hell, I’ll take a lie detector test if you want. I have to have you in my life. For as little, or as much, as you want.”
She stared into those beautiful green eyes and recalled the last couple years. She’d lived through her parents’ deaths, their mountain of debt, a kidnapping, and a life-threatening gunshot wound. She loved a man in a dangerous, secretive career, who’d professed his love and had apologized for the subterfuge inherent in his profession.
Was what he offered worth moving beyond the feelings of hurt and betrayal? Did she believe they could start over? Did she want to start over with him? She tamped down the lightning flash that zinged through her body at the thought.
Hell yeah.
She smiled, and his expression transformed. His eyes sparkled, and a grin crept across his face, widening as she opened her arms. Until her shoulder wound screamed. She dropped that arm, and ground out, “I’d like that. A lot.”
He bent at the waist and looped one arm around her, pulling her against that wall of a chest as if she was made of spun glass. She tilted her head up, and he whispered against her lips, “Thank God, Munroe. The suspense was killing me.”
She giggled as he took her lips in a searing kiss that promised many, many more over their lifetime.
Epilogue
Six months later
“Katie, ten minutes until show time. Hey, are you okay?”
Kate swiped the tears from beneath her mascaraed eyes, and shot a smile at her former roommate through the oval mirror she sat before. Stacey entered the little room and shut the door.
“I’m fine. They’re happy tears.”
“Whew. Don’t throw me a curveball like that right before the main event. You look beautiful, you know. He’s a lucky man.”
Kate smiled wider. “Yeah. And I’m a lucky woman.”
Stacey nodded. “You two are made for each other, so don’t cry.”
“I won’t. Pinkie swear.” After they did so, Kate continued, “Can I have a few moments, please?”
Stacey’s smile softened. Kate knew she was thinking of her parents, like she was. “Sure, hon. But I’ll be back in, like, eight minutes.”
“I’ll be ready. You’re the best.” Kate hugged her best friend and maid of honor, careful not to wrinkle their dresses. Stacey stepped back, but held on to Kate’s forearms. “No more tears, even happy ones, until after the ceremony. Got it?”
“Got it.” Kate giggled as Stacey slipped out the door, shutting it softly behind her.
Kate faced her reflection once more. The tears hadn’t done any damage, but more waited just below the surface. This was the happiest day of her life, and she wished like crazy that her parents were there to share in it. She looked upward, hoping that they were, at least in spirit.
It had been a long time getting to this point, she admitted. Taking a bullet in the shoulder had been a nightmare. The pink and puckered scar was a daily reminder of the fear and hopelessness she experienced that night. But Sawyer had been with her every step of the way since then.
Sawyer. His name sent tingles up and down her spine. Every nerve ending pulsed, like she was a twinkling Christmas tree. She might not have been sure of her decision to keep him in her life six months ago, but today was proof that she’d chosen right.
She was marrying Sawyer Hayes. It had been a rough six months. He’
d had to return to El Paso to face the music for getting involved with her during the Ortiz investigation. He’d been demoted to riding a desk for “behavior unbefitting an officer” for the foreseeable future, which she knew was killing him. He was too strong and active to stay office-bound.
At least he’d transferred to the San Diego-based DEA headquarters, to be closer to her and Bobby. As soon as she’d been able, she’d petitioned for custody of Bobby. It had been Sawyer’s idea. The child’s father was in jail, after all. He had no one else. And, when Sawyer learned from the police that Bobby would be placed in permanent foster care, he’d told her to go to court for custody.
With her not being a blood relative, it had been an uphill battle, but she’d persisted, because whenever she saw him, which was often, he’d told her he wanted to go home with her. When no relatives came forward, the court took her plea more seriously. After meeting all the CPS requirements, she’d finally gotten permanent custody clearance. Now, except for the periodic visitations by a child welfare worker, she and Bobby were a family.
She shook her head. She was a mom. The idea still boggled her mind. And now she was going to be a wife. They would be a family. And there were those shivers of excitement again.
It would be an adjustment. It had been already, packing up and moving closer to San Diego to give them all a fresh start in a new place. She’d accepted a job as an interior decorator. Between that and her freelancing, and now Sawyer’s income, they made enough to lease a two-bedroom apartment just a few blocks from the beach. It was home.
Bobby still had a long way to go. There were nights when he woke up crying, and other times when he became angry and frustrated at the smallest things. The child psychologist he went to told Kate it was all to be expected. And now that Sawyer would be here permanently, it was hoped that Bobby would improve more. He loved Sawyer, and his former coach loved him. And her.
There was a knock on the door, and Stacey poked her head in. “Ready, Katie girl?”
Kate gave her reflection one more look. She liked the person looking back at her. She was confident, independent, and self-sufficient. And loved.
“Wish you could be here, Mom and Dad,” she whispered, before picking up her bouquet and heading for the door, to the two men that mattered most in her life. And, as she stood at the end of the aisle, looking at the tall, broad-shouldered man and the little boy beside him in matching black tuxedoes, she knew that the best part of her life was just beginning.
Did you love this Ignite? Check out more of our romantic mystery and suspense titles here!
Don’t miss another book by Cathy Skendrovich! Sign up for our newsletter here!
Acknowledgments
A huge thank you goes to my Entangled team. To my editor, Tera Cuskeden, who brought out my characters’ voices the way I hear them in my head. You seriously have made me a better writer! To my publicity team, Riki Cleveland and Jessica Turner, for helping me get this book noticed in the published world, and to Crystal Havens, my production editor, for the most awesome book cover. I love working with all of you!
About the Author
Cathy has always loved writing, but that pesky thing called Real Life cast writing into the backseat for years. Now she has reunited with her creative passion, and devotes every moment she can to all the plots and characters milling about in her imagination. She admits she finds story plotlines in everyday occurrences going on around her.
When she’s not writing her special mixture of romance and humor, she likes to travel, read, and take long walks with her husband (the inspiration for her happily-ever-afters). Cathy looks forward to many years of writing for readers’ enjoyment.
Also by Cathy Skendrovich
Prisoner of Love
The Pirate’s Bride
The Pirate Bride’s Holiday Masquerade
Discover more mystery and suspense titles from Entangled…
Brazilian Surrender
a Brazilians novel by Carmen Falcone
Psychology student Camila Duarte is finally on her own and away from her overprotective brothers. Her serenity quakes when she receives terrorizing letters. When the threats ramp up, she hires the best in the business to protect her and look for the criminal. Working close to Camila puts Jaeger Bauer’s remarkable self-control to the test. As the stakes get higher, Jaeger needs to choose between protecting his client…or surrendering to desire and jeopardizing the entire mission.
Reckless Honor
a HORNET novel by Tonya Burrows
Jean-Luc Cavalier has only ever cared about three things: sex, booze, and the dangerous missions he undertakes with HORNET—until the night he rescues virologist Dr. Claire Oliver. Someone wants her research and they’re willing to kill anyone and everyone it, but that’s the least of HORNET’s concerns. An ultra-deadly virus with all the markings of a bioweapon is decimating the Niger Delta, and Nigeria is only the testing grounds…
Wanted for Life
a Love Under Fire novel by Allison B. Hanson
Former DEA agent Colton Williamson misses the action of his past life since entering witness protection as a high school math teacher. He also misses Angel, who refused to join him in his new life. Now it’s Angel who’s in trouble, and Colton can’t help but be there for her—before it’s too late. But the killer may be closer to them than they think.
Girl in the Mist
a novel by S T Young
Infamous for infiltration and becoming her undercover identities, Nina Hernandez disappeared without a trace. Three years later, Naval Intelligence agent Rory O’Donnell finds her in a tortuous mental hospital. He’s unsure if it’s really Nina, or if she’s undercover and faking it. Either way, he’s pretty sure something sinister is going on... Between car chases, flying bullets...and Nina’s mercurial changes, sexy come-ons, and exasperating independence, this might just be Rory’s toughest assignment ever.
Undercover with the Nanny Page 17