by J Dawn King
Elizabeth pondered the expressions he had used in his description of her. They were lovely words that any intelligent woman with a heart would desire to hear.
Her voice quieted to a whisper. “Did you mean them, sir?”
It was exceedingly bold for her to ask, yet their conversation the night before and earlier that morning allowed them each the freedom to speak what was in their hearts.
***
Darcy noted a curl which had been disturbed when she had removed her bonnet upon entering her home. It bounced next to her head each time she moved. His hand itched to carefully put it back in place. Her face had a healthy glow, her eyes were crystal clear, and her cheeks and mouth were reddened from the cool morning air. She was all that was lovely.
“Yes, Miss Elizabeth, I did.”
“Oh!” It was spoken silently, only her mouth forming the words, her eyes widening as she did so.
“Miss Elizabeth, I…” That was as far as he got.
Mrs. Bennet came heedlessly down the stairs, moving rapidly upon them with a screech. The lady was enraged. She marched to the hallway and roughly grabbed her daughter’s arm. “I should have known you would run him off. You have no appreciation for my nerves and for the future of your family.” She pulled at Elizabeth only to find Mr. Darcy had attached himself to her other arm, holding her in place. “Get upstairs, Lizzy. I will deal with you as you deserve as soon as I see Mr. Darcy out. Now go!”
Elizabeth could not recall ever seeing her mother as livid as she was. Gone was the striking good looks which had originally caught her father’s attention. In their place was a face full of fury that pulled her mother’s mouth into a straight line and her eyes into narrow slits. She was breathing rapidly and her complexion was the color of boiled beets.
Looking up to Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth calmly asked. “Sir, we shall speak of this at another time?”
“Pray do not ask me not to offer my protection.” Darcy gritted his teeth and she could see frustration in the tenseness of his jaw. “It is my duty and honor to see you are well.”
She shook her head. “I will be well, Mr. Darcy.”
“You are placing me in a difficult position, Miss Elizabeth, one I find untenable.”
“I will be well.”
Elizabeth knew she left him no recourse and was sad that it had to be so. With resignation, she watched him bow, call for his horse, and walk out the door.
She looked down to where Mrs. Bennet continued to fiercely hold on. Then she looked her mother directly in the eyes. Her mother unwrapped her fingers. Straightening her spine, Elizabeth started to walk to the stairwell, when the front door was thrust back open until the heavy wood portal banged against the interior wall. Turning, she saw Mr. Darcy standing erect and threatening in the doorway. Apparently he had changed his mind.
CHAPTER FIVE
Darcy watched the reactions of the Bennets. Mr. Bennet turned back towards the front of the house and stood next to his wife. Mrs. Bennet spoke not a word, her eyes darting back and forth between both men. Elizabeth walked to his side. The battle lines had been drawn.
“You will not blame Miss Elizabeth for my actions of this morning.” Darcy’s tone was firm. He had been angered beyond words when Mrs. Bennet had clutched Elizabeth’s arm in a manner which would leave bruises on her tender flesh. No person, not even her mother would be allowed to bring her harm. “It was at my instigation that Mr. Collins has left for Kent and was a matter which solely concerned him and my aunt. Your daughter was outside the house when I arrived and did not return until after the rector’s departure. She bears no guilt.”
Mrs. Bennet started to defend her actions of aggression towards her daughter. Darcy held up his palm and turned his head away from her. She received the message. Mr. Darcy would not listen to whatever she intended to say. She closed her lips, irritated that Darcy was having his way in her own home.
“Young man, this is my estate and that is my daughter.” The expression on his face indicated Mr. Bennet’s displeasure. “You had no right to interfere.”
“Mr. Bennet, I am aware I trespassed on your home. However, circumstances demanded immediate action on my part. I have no regrets.” Darcy was comfortable in his position of master of his estates and well knew the rights and privileges of being the head of the household. He did not hold Mr. Bennet’s statement against him. Nevertheless, the matter of Elizabeth being roughly handled needed addressed.
“Might I inquire, sir, as to why you are allowing your wife to reproach and ill-treat your daughter for something she is not responsible for? Should it not have been my arm Mrs. Bennet grabbed, my person exiled to Netherfield Park, and myself who was threatened with consequences rather than Miss Elizabeth?” Darcy could feel his emotions roiling, threatening to boil up and choke him with their power. He breathed deeply to calm himself.
***
Mr. Bennet looked closely at the young man in front of him and his possessive stance with his daughter. He suddenly saw the ridiculousness of the situation. They were two roosters who were poised to fight over nothing. Mr. Darcy was correct. He now realized that one situation, the conversation between Darcy and Mr. Collins, had nothing to do with the aborted proposal between the rector and Elizabeth. He dropped his shoulders and exhaled loudly in defeat. Securing Longbourn’s future would have to take place another day.
“Mrs. Bennet,” her husband gave her his full attention. “It seems we are thwarted in our designs this morning and will need to wait until my cousin’s return before our daughter is engaged to be his wife.”
When his wife started to speak, he did as Darcy had just done, raised his palm for silence.
“Might I remind you, dear, that Mr. Darcy is a friend and guest of our new neighbor, Mr. Bingley, with whom I understand you hope to attach our eldest. Mightn’t this be a fine opportunity to invite the Netherfield party as guests to dinner one evening this week?”
“Mr. Bennet! How you vex my nerves.” Elizabeth’s mother dug for the handkerchief hidden up her sleeve. “Both Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley at my table. I will make sure Jane is at her best.”
“Mr. Darcy, should you need to see me, Lizzy knows how to find me. I will, as usual, be ensconced in my lair.” Mr. Bennet steered his wife away from the couple and walked back down the hallway. When he got to his study’s doorway, he looked back at Darcy and Elizabeth, easily reading their interest in each other, a small smile on his face. Possibly he would not have to have the rector as his son-in-law after all. If Mr. Darcy would secure his family’s future, then his cousin would not need to return from Kent. Now he had to figure out how to keep Lizzy without him.
***
Darcy felt like he had been through a whirlwind where he completely lost control. The rapid change in Mr. Bennet’s countenance puzzled him exceedingly.
“Elizabeth, might we speak?” As his anger receded, he was unaware of his familiar use of her Christian name. He noted her reaction, her small smile of pleasure. He would not confess to her until years in the future, if even then, that he had silently said her name over and over throughout the night as a chant that brought him peace.
The couple walked into the drawing room, leaving the door wide open. Darcy hoped it would be hours before any of Elizabeth’s sisters would travel beyond their bed chambers. Unless her parents showed themselves again, they would be undisturbed.
“Sir, where do you want to begin?” Elizabeth seated herself on one of the chairs close to the fireplace. Darcy sat across from her, though he shifted the chair forward so their conversation would be theirs alone. It was a cozy atmosphere—the snap and crackle of the burning wood a homely sort of sound.
“Your father, Miss Elizabeth, I cannot help but wonder what he is about. He has to know the woman you are—to know you are vibrant and alive, witty and kind. How could a man who loves you not realize what a miserable sort of marriage you would have with a fool such as Mr. Collins? Is your father in ill health? Is there a reason he is, now, afraid for the futur
e of his family?”
“I have spent many hours contemplating these very questions.” Elizabeth’s sigh echoed from one end of the room to the other. “Mr. Darcy, I inquired of my father why he suddenly made my marriage a priority. His answer was very much a surprise to me.” Elizabeth repeated the conversation carefully. “Apparently it was the coming out of my youngest sister, Lydia, which spurred Father to finally give consideration to the future of his five daughters. Since Longbourn is entailed to Mr. Collins, he settled on marriage as the means to keep this estate in the Bennet family. He required his cousin to take on the surname of Bennet so any son produced would continue our father’s name. Mr. Collins readily agreed.”
“I see.” Darcy put his fingers up to his chin as he gave thought to her comments. Unless that agreement was put in a legally binding document, there would be no means of Mr. Bennet enforcing the name change upon Mr. Collins after his death. It could be the end of the male Bennet line.
“Well I am pleased you do so, sir, as I am befuddled by his thinking.” The volume of Elizabeth’s voice rose. “He has had since Jane’s birth twenty-two years past to prepare. As each daughter was born, my father should have felt the weight of responsibility grow to such an extent that he was moved to economize or set aside funds to provide care for
not only his daughters, but his wife as well. Papa chose not to do so.”
“And your mother?” Darcy had to ask.
“Pshaw!” Darcy could hear the frustration in her voice. “My mother rarely thinks beyond today. It has always been so.”
“And, you?”
“Me, Mr. Darcy?” She boldly looked directly into his eyes. “I have begged, pleaded, and cajoled to no success. My comments have surely been as a thorn in the paw of a lion to both parents. I have been speaking into the wind.”
Darcy felt her pain and heard her bitterness. One thought kept forcing its way to the surface with each word she uttered. But first, he needed to understand her motives.
“Miss Elizabeth, if you could choose your future, your path, what would it be?”
He wanted to hold his breath. What if she chose to explore opportunities to travel outside of England? He was needed at Pemberley—until Georgiana was happily married and settled, his responsibilities would keep between Derbyshire and London. What if she wanted to learn from the masters, to devote her years to study and attaining learning? She was an intelligent woman. Such a life would leave little time for him. The thought made him unbearably sad.
***
Elizabeth bowed her head to her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She felt a wrestling between her heart and her mind. Should she open up and express her intimate desires to this man? A small wedge of concern reminded her that she did not know him well moved into position and threatened to drive her to restrain her tongue. Sighing deeply, she again looked at him, knowing from her innermost emotions how she needed to answer the gentleman seated before her. He had earned her complete honesty by his actions to thwart Mr. Collin’s proposal that very morning. It was the least she could do.
“Sir, my desires are not grand, though I believe they are noble,” she began. “Yes, the same circumstances which now weigh heavily on my father have long plagued me. Because this is so, I crave security, Mr. Darcy. I desire the companionship of a man who feels that respect and admiration between marriage partners is the most important aspect of a marriage. I yearn for a man who wants to protect me as much as I want to cherish and care for him, a man of integrity and honor. I hunger for a match with someone who would put the needs and happiness of our children ahead of his own life as I would as well.” Elizabeth leaned forward, to better capture his attention. She was pleased when he did not look away, not even blinking. “Am I asking too much, Mr. Darcy? Being the daughter of a poor country gentleman, are my standards too high? Is such a man outside my reach?”
***
“Certainly not!” Her words resonated in the deepest recesses of his lonely heart. Since the death of his father he had not met one woman who had not hungered for his wealth and position in society—until Elizabeth. All the months he had searched for the young woman at the churchyard he had worried that he had built her up to be an unattainable character, that when he at last found her, she would disappoint in the most fundamental qualities he desired in a wife. Instead, the reality was all he could have hoped for—was more than he had hoped for.
Darcy stood and settled on one knee before her, carefully lifting her hands and cradling them in his own. That one thought surfaced and remained. He had to declare himself to the woman before him.
“Miss Elizabeth, I thank you from the bottom of my soul that you did not hold back from telling me what is in your heart.” Darcy’s deep baritone softened to a whisper, his eyes revealing his feelings more than any words that could be expressed. “My mother and father had a good marriage and I was raised in a happy home. Pemberley was a refuge where I grew up safe in the knowledge that I was loved.”
He felt Elizabeth squeeze his hands.
“When we lost my mother, my father lost his way.” Pain resonated in his voice. “When my father died, I understood why he reacted as he did. I was bereft.” He felt the tightness of her hands grasping his. A tear started from the corner of her eye and moved slowly down her cheek. He longed to move his thumb across the surface to capture that drop of moisture, removing any sadness from the woman in front of him. With surprise, he realized that she was feeling his agony in her own heart and he was feeling a responding depth of emotion. My pain in her heart and her pain in mine. That single thought hit him as a lightning bolt from the sky. Could it be so?
“Elizabeth, I searched for you. In every town, at every gathering, I longed to find you for I knew in my own heart that you, and only you, could help me mend the broken pieces of my soul so I can be whole again.” He heard the soft intake of breath. “I loved the thought of you, Elizabeth. I loved the thought of you with my whole being.”
“Mr. Darcy.” Without sound, his name slowly came from Elizabeth’s mouth.
“Can a heart ache when it is full of joy?” Darcy watched as another tear followed the same trail down the side of her lovely face.
“Yes, Mr. Darcy.” He watched warmth fill her eyes until a fire started to burn in them.
“Do you feel my heart, Elizabeth?’ Darcy put her hands to his chest. “Do you feel it beat for you?”
Elizabeth swallowed.
With clarity he revealed himself to her.
“I do.” Her hand began to softly pat his coat to the rhythm in his chest. “How can this be, Mr. Darcy? We are so newly acquainted.” They were valid questions. “Your actions of
this morning speak volumes as to your character, yet I do not know you.”
“I move too fast.” Disappointment filled him. She was right. He was allowing the emotions of the moment to speak for him in a way he had never experienced. Had it been love at first sight? It felt real—solid.
“While I know you are a good man who deserves to be highly valued, you have overwhelmed me, Mr. Darcy.” She smiled sweetly at the dismay on his face.
Darcy rocked back on his heels, letting go of her hands. She was not rejecting him and for that he was truly grateful. However, her words were like cold water poured over him on a hot day. Had it been a man approaching his sister with such a rush to the altar, he would have castigated him soundly. Elizabeth deserved no less.
“I find myself in unfamiliar territory, Miss Elizabeth.” It was Darcy’s turn to sigh as he stood. She did as well. “My friend, Mr. Bingley, has the reputation of falling in and out of love quickly. As for myself, I can honestly state that I am, for the first time, understanding what moves him to such tender feelings.” He chuckled to himself. “My friends and family would be beyond surprised at me and I admit to being surprised at myself.”
“Then perhaps you might accept the invitation to dinner my father was quick to suggest. It will give us opportunity to test these feelings.”
“
To see if they are real? Lasting?” Though Darcy had no need of more time, he saw that Elizabeth was not as sure that he was the match for her.
“Yes, Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth tilted her head, raised her brow, and smiled. He saw the mischief and squared his shoulders, preparing himself for her volley, unknowingly smiling in return. “I feel it is only fair for you to see me at my most frazzled. Yes, dinner at Longbourn should do.”
He wanted to gather her into his arms and promise her the world. However, it was not the world she wanted, only his presence at dinner. That he could and would do.
CHAPTER SIX
“Mr. Darcy, how may I be of service?”
Teetering stacks of books covered every surface of Mr. Bennet’s study, threatening to distract Darcy from his purpose. A desire to create order out of chaos sprang up in his chest to the point that he found himself reaching for the closest pile before he stopped himself. He doubted Elizabeth’s father would appreciate his assistance.