He glared at the door, just wanting the bitch far away from him. She’d made him out to be a wife beating bastard to his own cousin and here she was, trying to lure him into bed.
He straightened up, ran his fingers through his hair and shoved all the rage deep down inside himself, for now. He was going to play this smart and carry on as normal until he could speak to Jez and decide what to do. Besides, in his head he wouldn’t be shagging Amber, he’d be making love to Jules.
“Oh my God,” said Cindy when she opened the door to a dishevelled Jackson. “What’s happened?”
“Jules is divorcing me.”
“Oh no, I’m so sorry.” She opened the door wider. “Come on in.”
Jackson had intended to go to a pub and get steaming drunk but something had drawn him here instead and he had no idea what that was.
“Do you want something to drink?” she said.
“No thanks,” he replied, slumping onto the cream couch in Cindy’s immaculate lounge.
She sat beside him, looking anxious. “This is my fault.”
“No,” he said, taking her hand. “It’s mine and only mine.”
“Can’t you work it out?”
He shook his head. “Once Jules has made up her mind there’s no going back.”
“Surely she needs to give it more time?”
“It seems she can’t get past what I did and who can blame her? I hate myself for hurting her but I can’t bring myself to regret what we did.” Gently he pressed his hand to her stomach. “I can’t regret my child. Or you.”
“Wait,” she said when he leaned in to kiss her. “You’re upset over Jules, you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I can’t use that excuse now. I like you Cindy, a lot. I couldn’t have slept with you if I didn’t and we’re going to have a baby together.”
“That doesn’t mean you can come round here expecting sex when you feel like it.”
“No, that wasn’t my intention at all,” he said. “I just like being with you. When I’m around you, I feel like I can cope with anything. Not even Jules made me feel like that.”
“But you still love her.”
He nodded. “I always will but my future’s not with her.”
Cindy’s heart skipped a beat. She’d liked Jackson Driscoll for a long time but had never thought anything would come of it. Now he was here, offering her more but she didn’t dare accept in case he was on the rebound.
As he kissed her, pressing her back into the couch, Cindy’s worries melted away. She’d never been able to resist him and she didn’t think that would ever change.
Jez was still angry about Jules’s actions the following morning, bristling with indignation when Mikey walked into the office they shared at the bungalow.
“Well?” he snapped. “I hope she’s learnt her fucking lesson?”
Mikey nodded. “Don’t worry, she won’t be fighting any more bare knuckle matches any time soon.”
“She’d better not ever again,” he barked.
“Why did you let me take her home anyway? I thought you didn’t want us to be alone with each other.”
“Because, for some reason, you’re the only one she listens to. Don’t fucking smile,” he snarled.
Mikey let his grin drop. “Anyway, if you’re finished there’s something we really need to discuss.”
“More important than Jules felling that big Bear bastard?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, okay. Let’s hear it then.”
Mikey related what Declan had said and when he’d finished Jez sat back thoughtfully. “Weird,” was all he said.
“Yep but it can only mean one thing. He’s shagging my wife.”
“You can’t know that for sure.”
“Would you ever call Amber babe?”
“God no.”
“There you go then.”
“I’d still be unwilling to accuse them both of having an affair on the back of him calling her babe.”
“And what about him asking if I’d hurt her again?”
“Correction, he said has he hurt you, not has Mikey hurt you. He wasn’t necessarily referring to you.”
“Then who the hell was he referring to?”
“I don’t know but we need something more concrete.”
“Fine. Let’s get over there and torture it out of the bastard.”
“You’d be willing to do that to your own cousin?”
“Alex was willing to kill me and I’m his cousin.”
“You’re not Alex, thank Christ.”
“What did we say we’d do when we found out who nicked the drugs? We said we’d do whatever it took, no matter who it was.”
“But we never mentioned Declan because neither of us could believe he was responsible. Are you saying he was?”
“Why not? If he’s got the guts to shag my wife then he’s got the guts to do that too.”
“Makes sense. We’ve ruled out everything else. But I don’t want to go down the torture route, not just yet anyway. I want some definite proof.”
“That won’t be a problem,” glowered Mikey.
Jules sighed and threw the book on Mesoamerican history Ryan had given her across the room. She used to be able to concentrate for hours, steadily absorbing information and easily retaining it but now she could barely manage an hour before her mind started wandering and her temples throbbed. She wasn’t getting through this book half as quickly as she normally would have done. She was never going to win the challenge at this rate.
On top of that she couldn’t stop thinking over last night, at how furious she’d made Jez. Once again she’d hurt someone she loved. It seemed to be all she knew how to do and she was sick of causing others pain. She’d hurt Mikey too with her rash behaviour, she’d glimpsed the fear in his eyes when he’d watched her fighting The Bear. Not fear for himself or the firm but fear for her. Once again she thought it would have been better if she hadn’t survived the coma.
Sadly she gazed around the flat that didn’t feel like home yet and she doubted it ever would. Once more she was all alone and she was sick of that too. Perhaps now was the time to leave Manchester and start all over again? Her family wouldn’t be happy about it but at least she’d stop causing them pain. Jackson wouldn’t need to feel guilty about getting with Cindy and she would be the mother Cara needed. And wanted. She would miss them all so much but they’d finally be free of her and the agony she continually caused them.
Once again the depression washed over her, intensified by pain and loneliness. All she wanted was a family, a place to belong and she kept screwing it up. Perhaps she was one of those people destined never to have that, the eternal lone wolf.
As these thoughts penetrated deeper the strength was sapped from her limbs, tears filling her eyes as the pain took hold. She wasn’t one to run from anything but she couldn’t see any other way out. All she wanted was for this agony to stop.
Jules was distracted from these morbid thoughts by her phone ringing. “What?” she snapped into the handset.
What the person on the other end had to say made her feel infinitely better, the energy surging back into her limbs. “Thanks. I’ll transfer the cash right now.”
She hung up and jabbed at her phone, transferring the twenty thousand pounds into Howie’s account. Finally it was time.
Jules raced into her bedroom and changed out of her pyjamas into her black jeans and black hooded jumper. After hesitating she removed the hoodie and donned the t-shirt Mikey had given her before pulling the jumper back on. She strapped the knives Grant and the others had bought her to her wrists, completing the look with her black leather jacket. Then she applied the thick black eyeliner and black lipstick. She’d softened her look since she’d settled down and become a mother. But those days were gone.
Shoving aside the stuff in the bottom of the wardrobe, she slid back the panel in the floor and pulled out a handgun.
She ran a hand along the barrel, caressing it. “Venom is
back.”
Jackson was taking his frustration out on his opponent in the ring. He’d already gone through two and he was on his third, whose face was bloodied and bruised. Training for the cage could be brutal but not this brutal and more than once he’d been told off for breaking the rules but he was filled with confusion and frustration. He’d wanted Jules for years, he would have given anything to be with her and when he finally gets her he lets her down the first time she really needs him and now she’s divorcing him. He’d lost her for good and he still couldn’t quite believe it. On top of that his feelings for Cindy were all mixed up, he couldn’t decide how he felt about her. Yes he liked her very much, they were having a baby together, which made him happy, no matter how much he tried to deny it, on occasion he felt he might even love her but it wasn’t like what he felt for Jules. That was passionate, consuming, once in a lifetime stuff and he wasn’t sure he could have that with another woman. Maybe his relationship with Cindy wasn’t meant to be like that? Perhaps it was supposed to be more tender and at least he wouldn’t have to worry about her family killing him if he displeased her. It would be a relief to have a wife who was completely legitimate, not worrying whether she was going to get arrested or killed every time she went out to work. But Jules had been worth the worry.
“Jax,” yelled a voice when he went for his opponent, who was rapidly tiring.
Jackson didn’t want to stop, in fact he just wanted to keep pummelling people until all the pain and frustration went away, not that it had worked so far. But he didn’t want to get himself banned so he turned to face Bill, who owned the gym.
“What?” he snapped at him.
“Someone here to see you.”
Jackson hoped it was Jules but instead he saw Cindy standing by the edge of the ring. Something in those huge blue eyes of hers eased the pain inside him.
“Is something wrong?” he said, jumping down off the ring and removing his gloves.
“Jules sent me this text message,” she said, holding out her phone to him. “I don’t know how she got my number and I don’t want to know.”
He took the phone from her, afraid he was going to see some sort of threat but what he saw made his heart stop. “Look after them for me. What does that mean?”
“It means she’s going to do something stupid,” she said, eyes wide with worry.
“Shit,” he said, running in the direction of the changing rooms.
CHAPTER 34
Mikey and Jez decided to take the burden of getting proof of Amber and Declan’s adultery on themselves. They didn’t want word getting out to anyone of what was going on, not even to their own people. Mikey had snuck a tracking device in Amber’s car and Jez had planted one in Declan’s while it was parked outside the bungalow. Now they were both frowning at their phones, watching to see where their devices took them.
“Amber’s been in the hairdresser’s for three hours,” said Mikey. “Who does that? And when she comes out her hair won’t look any different.”
“Declan’s a lazy bastard,” said Jez. “He’s supposed to be tracking down Al Morello so we can get the twelve grand he owes us but he’s been sitting in a café for nearly an hour.”
“Shame we can’t tell him off for it without giving ourselves away.”
“For fuck’s sake,” sighed Mikey when his phone began to ring. He didn’t want any interruptions, all he wanted was this mess sorted out. “What?” he said. Jez was alarmed by the way Mikey’s eyes bulged. “I’m closer, I’ll go.” His jaw tensed with annoyance. “I said I’ll handle it Jax. You’ve done enough damage,” he snarled before hanging up.
“What the hell’s happened now?” said Jez.
“Jackson’s bit on the side said she got a text from Jules telling her to look after them for her.”
“Look after what?” His eyes widened. “Oh fuck. Let’s go.”
They charged out of the bungalow and leapt into Mikey’s car, powering down the drive and onto the main road, heading for Jules’s flat.
“What the fuck is she playing at?” said Jez as Mikey drove. “You don’t think she’d hurt herself, do you? She’s not the type to top herself.”
Mikey thought of the conversation they’d had only yesterday. “No, she’s not. I think she’s tracked down Slattery and she’s going after him.”
“Alone? Is she fucking nuts?” His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Is there something you know that I don’t?”
“She said she wanted to go after Slattery.”
“Everyone knows that.”
“I told her that if she found where he’s hiding we’d go after him together, all of us.”
“But you think she ignored your advice?”
“This is Jules we’re talking about. What do you think?”
“What if you’re wrong? What if she has decided to top herself?” said Jez, eyes clouded with worry. “She hasn’t been herself since the coma then she loses her husband and daughter all in one go and she’ll never have another kid. Maybe it was too much?”
“Don’t talk like that. Jules is a fighter, she’d never go down that route.”
“But everyone has their limit. What if she was pushed past hers?”
Mikey pressed his foot harder against the accelerator.
The second the car rolled to a halt outside Jules’s apartment block they both leapt out and raced inside and upstairs.
“It’s locked,” said Jez.
They looked at each other, nodded and kicked at the door, which gave way with a crack.
“Jules,” said Mikey, rushing in first.
Together they searched the flat but there was no sign of her.
“If she has gone away it can’t be for long,” said Jez. “Her clothes are still in the wardrobe, although the hangers are pushed to one side, like she took some out.”
“She hasn’t driven her car since she woke up,” said Mikey.
“She can’t have gone far then.”
“Unless she’s not taking a car. She has her bikes too.”
Jackson charged through the broken door, sweating and wild eyed. “Have you found her?” he demanded.
“No,” said Jez. “Don’t tell me you care?”
“Of course I care. She’s my wife.”
“Not for much longer. Why don’t you piss off back to your tart.”
“Don’t start on me Jez. I never wanted things to turn out like this. If I had my way I’d still be with Jules and we’d be having our own baby. That was what I wanted.”
“We’re wasting time,” said Mikey. “We need to find Jules. Can you tell if she’s taken anything?”
Jackson looked helplessly around the flat, thinking how sad it was that it was practically bare. “I don’t know.”
“Fat fucking lot of use you are,” said Jez, storming for the door.
“Where are you going?” demanded Jackson.
“To find my sister.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“You bloody well are not. You’re not family anymore.”
“I still love her.”
“If you loved her you wouldn’t have got that slag pregnant.”
“Shut it both of you,” said Mikey. He ignored his business partner’s outraged expression and looked to Jackson. “Does Jules still have a motorbike?”
“Yes. It’s in a lock-up near where we used to live.” His eyes filled with sadness at this statement.
“Show us.”
“Missed you baby,” said Jules, running her fingers along the meaty Harley Davidson Superlow. A snake’s head adorned the tank, fangs bared, eyes bright red.
She stuffed her belongings into the panniers then removed the panel on the tank, where a secret compartment had been included, at her request. In it she hid the gun before replacing the panel. It had been a while since she’d worn the knives strapped to her wrists but they still felt like they belonged there. With any luck soon they’d be cutting into Jared fucking Slattery.
It felt good to be Venom again,
in a way she’d missed her. She was her wilder, darker side, which had been kept firmly in check ever since she’d started working for Mikey and Jez but now she was about to let her loose again and it was a relief.
With a smile she placed the cigarette between her lips and lit it, taking a deep drag.
The cough took her by surprise and hurt her chest, her eyes watering, the taste of smoke in her mouth making her want to throw up.
She yanked the cigarette out of her mouth and scowled at it. “Urgh.” She threw it to the ground and stamped on it. “I guess that’s one habit I’ve given up for good,” she said before taking a sip of water from the bottle she removed from the panniers.
Pulling the full pack of cigarettes she’d bought that morning out of her jacket pocket, she tossed it onto the floor of the garage and mounted the bike, walking it out backwards. Hopping off, she closed the garage door and locked it before climbing back on the bike.
Her face cracked into a grin when she started the engine and it burst into life, purring but slightly agitated, anxious to be back out on the road. Beating The Bear had given her back her confidence and eradicated the worries she had about driving again.
“Just me and you again babe,” she said, stroking the tank.
Jules pushed aside the sadness wanting to sweep over her at leaving behind everything and everyone she loved. Determinedly she pulled on her helmet, donned her sunglasses, slammed down the visor and set off down the street. She had a long drive ahead.
“Hurry up,” urged Mikey.
“I’m trying,” retorted Jez who was picking the lock of the door into Jules’s garage. “Come on you bastard…there we go,” he smiled when there was a satisfying click.
He yanked open the door and they stepped inside, followed by Jackson who said, “her bike’s gone.”
“Thank God you’re here,” said Jez, gesturing to the empty space in the middle of the garage. “We couldn’t have worked that out by ourselves, could we Mikey?”
Jackson ignored him and bent to retrieve the dropped cigarette. “Don’t tell me she’s started smoking again.”
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