Free from Guilt

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Free from Guilt Page 18

by Pat Simmons


  “Cameron, this is your house, and I’m one of your guests. If you were involved in illegal activity, I would have left right after I got here. You’re not drinking and driving, so, technically, no laws have been broken.”

  He seared her with an intense stare. “What aren’t you saying?”

  “It’s a Bible quote from 1 Corinthians 10:23.”

  “I know the gist of that book. What does that verse say?”

  “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have in Me. But do this with gentleness and respect.” God spoke 1 Peter 3:15.

  Softening her heart, Gabrielle said in her most nonthreatening manner, “‘I have the right to do anything,’ you say—but not everything is beneficial. ‘I have the right to do anything’—but not everything is constructive. That’s what 1 Corinthians 10:23 says.” She thanked God for speaking to her Spirit beforehand because she was ready to snap and write him off—yet again.

  “Where Christ is, there is liberty. No harm done,” Cameron said, checkmating her.

  For misquoting 2 Corinthians 3:17, Gabrielle wanted to slap his kissable lips with the pocket Bible she carried in her purse. Instead, she gave him a disapproving look.

  Looking away, Cameron huffed. He seemed frustrated, but definitely no more than she was. “Gabrielle, for the months we’ve been together, I’ve walked a fine line not to offend you. That was a slip-up. Occasionally, I drink a bottle of beer with my barbecue. But I don’t have any habits I can’t break.”

  I can name a few: pride, stubbornness … but Gabrielle held her tongue.

  “Babe, I’m a one-hundred-percent man, who has given up so much to be with you. Eventually, you’re going to have to make me a priority in your life like I’ve made you in mine. If you keep taking from me, one day I’ll have nothing left to give you. And I’m not going to let that happen.”

  Cameron’s words hit its target—her vulnerable heart. As the sparks in the air frizzled, so did their chemistry for the remainder of the night.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Why does love have to be so complicated?” Gabrielle mumbled, as she drove away. Then it suddenly dawned on her that she had said the word love twice in one day. Shaking her head, Gabrielle checked traffic before she exited onto Forest Parkway.

  “Jesus, please keep me from getting caught up in the hype. I want to be loved, I want to give love, and I want to be a wife and mother. But Lord, whenever I think Cameron and I are in sync, You show me otherwise.”

  On the drive home, she poured out her heart to the Lord. After pulling in front of her apartment, she couldn’t recall getting off the interstate, stopping at lights, or making turns. Whew, she thought. Jesus had definitely been her pilot.

  A few minutes later as she turned the key to her apartment, her cell phone vibrated with a text. Know this. I am praying. More than I ever have, before I lose my mind. Kiss on the cheek. C

  The message caused a bittersweet smile to appear with his reference to a kiss on the cheek. Her thoughts were jumbled with too many responses, so she simply texted back: Okay.

  The following week, the Duprees arrived at Lambert Airport. While waiting in a line of traffic to get her parents, Gabrielle was reminiscent about her many years in the airline industry. The perks of family flying free and free employee parking were now gone.

  However, in her heart there was no regret over the decision for a career move, even with her emotional state in turmoil. As CEO, when she stepped into the offices of Nestle, Gabrielle would always perform at the top of her game.

  Her new position was definitely less stressful at times when someone called in sick. There was no need to wear three hats and play catch-up on the demands of the business. Her division focused on providing excellent customer service after every sale.

  Within minutes of securing a parking spot in the garage, Gabrielle swiftly walked through the airport’s double doors. It wasn’t long before she spotted her mother and father, with a piece of luggage by their side.

  Instead of hurrying to meet them, she held back and observed their mannerisms. Dr. Bernard Dupree was handsome, distinguished, and highly confident. Her father didn’t need to wear a suit to command attention. He walked with authority in every step.

  Her sixty-one-year-old mother was the epitome of beauty. Veronica sparked envy among many younger women because of her healthy skin and glowing hair. The gray streaks didn’t age her, but added sophistication to her persona.

  Watching her father’s arm protectively wrapped around her mother’s waist, Gabrielle sighed. Their forty years together held a tremendous amount of bliss. At thirty, she still had hope that such an honor would eventually come her way. It was well understood that her parents were remarkably of one accord about things. With the same mindset, they had no debates about God, on how to rear children, or how they would cherish each other for the rest of their lives. For them, faithfulness was a given.

  Maybe those were the expectations that she and her brothers were holding out for—that one person who could connect with them like a puzzle. Was she trying to alter Cameron to make him fit in her puzzle?

  Once her parents saw her, they quickened their steps. Gabrielle met them halfway. Their hugs were strangling, but felt good.

  “How’s my baby?” her father asked, as he stepped back and gave her a critical once-over.

  “I’m well, Daddy,” she replied before diverting his attention away from her. “And you look good, Mom. Tina Turner has nothing on you. You go, girl.” Her mother blushed while her father beamed proudly.

  Gabrielle’s bonding with her mother was so easygoing that, at times, Veronica would step out of her motherly role and act like a silly girlfriend. Gabrielle missed those times when she could fly home at the last minute for a shopping trip on the Magnificent Mile. However, Veronica set boundaries too, and Gabrielle knew when not to cross the line.

  “That’s what a good marriage will do for you,” Bernard smarted off, as he scanned the overhead signs for the exit. “A man had better know that, including Cameron, if he intends to bend his knee for a proposal.” His familiar scowl meant that was his final word.

  “Shhh, Bernie. Our daughter’s waiting for the right one.” Veronica’s eyes sparkled at Gabrielle. “Will we meet Cameron while we’re here?”

  “We’d better,” her father demanded.

  They exited the terminal and strolled to Gabrielle’s car. Once her father situated the large bag in her trunk, the conversation turned to her brothers.

  She checked her watch. “Drexel said he was leaving directly after presiding over his last case. He should already be on the road and here soon.” Since her middle brother lived in Kansas City, he was only three hours away and expected to arrive sometime that evening. “Dashan had a series of meetings this morning. He’ll be here later on,” she reported.

  Although her apartment was spacious, Gabrielle doubted anyone would complain about comfort the next couple of days. It mattered that they were together. Her parents, as well as her brothers, could easily afford suite accommodations at a swanky St. Louis hotel.

  Next, her mind went to Philip. He was the only exception. Whenever a church sponsored him for a revival, the invitation included travel and hotel accommodations. But not this time. Gabrielle asked everyone to stay at her new apartment, and they all obliged.

  Strapped in their seat belts, she pulled out of the garage and into traffic. “Of course, our evangelist will get in late.”

  “My boy,” Bernard said proudly. “I’m really honored that God has blessed him with the knowledge of His Word and the anointing to preach it.” He grinned. “I’m proud of all my children, but I wish you all would marry. Not that I need it, but I’ll be eligible for Social Security in three years. I’m not getting any younger, and I’d like to see another generation.”

  “Relationships aren’t what they used to be when we dated, honey.”

  “A spouse should be special—man or woma
n,” her father said from the backseat.

  “Got it, Dad.”

  They chuckled and then bounced around other subjects for the rest of the ride. A short time later, Gabrielle arrived at Willow Estate complex. Her mother gushed about the property, which resembled a lush golf course with classy apartment buildings, bungalows, and townhouses.

  Once inside the apartment, they took a brief tour. Gabrielle had spent all week shopping for knickknacks and accents. The second bedroom was furnished with a full-size bed set and a sofa sleeper smaller than the one she purchased for her living room. Her parents would take the master bedroom.

  It wasn’t long before Mr. Dupree changed his clothes and stretched out in the recliner. Grinning satisfactorily at his wife and daughter, Bernard reached for the remote.

  Veronica shook her head as she trailed Gabrielle to the kitchen. Taking on her motherly role, she began scanning the shelves in the cabinets. “Did you remember to pick up some sea salt and red wine vinegar for the green beans?” she queried.

  Happy to be sharing the moment, Gabrielle grinned. “Can’t sauté the green beans without them, Mom.” She reached for the spices as her mother opened the refrigerator door to gather the vegetables. “You know I could have picked up a meal from a deli or restaurant,” Gabrielle fussed. She always felt bad when her mother came to visit and worked. Yet the two enjoyed being in the kitchen together.

  Adorned with aprons tied around their waists, they worked side by side, seasoning skinless chicken breasts and other entrees. It wasn’t long before her father had dozed off. Gabrielle took the opportunity to engage her mother in a hushed conversation about Cameron.

  “I love him, Mom.” She sighed. “I know this is going to sound crazy.” Gabrielle couldn’t believe she’d dare utter it, so she took her time to phrase her words. “Mom, I’ve been as faithful as I know how in walking with Jesus. In fact, I think I’ve been a textbook saint. But, after being around the happily-ever-after Jamieson wives, I’m wondering if I’ll miss out by continuing to hold my ground on points that aren’t important to God.”

  Lifting a brow, her mother resumed flouring some biscuits and didn’t respond right away. Finally, she cleared her throat. “So you want to compromise?”

  “I want to be loved and to love. I want children. Can a man who professes his salvation be enough to take him at his word? I feel like I’m starting to run out of options,” Gabrielle whined.

  Veronica rinsed her hands and dried them. Giving her daughter a hug, she replied, “Don’t give up. God has the right man for you. Don’t grieve God by dismissing what you know, even if your blessing is delayed.”

  Gabrielle refrained from voicing to her mother that she was tired of living alone, eating alone, traveling alone, and even going to bed alone. Cameron’s looks, touches, and sweet words seemed to magnify the emptiness in her life. She wanted the companionship of a good saved and sanctified husband.

  “If Cameron isn’t the one, then we need to pray that God move faster. Between you and me, I’m becoming emotionally overwhelmed.”

  Trust Me, Jesus spoke.

  God, help me, she silently pleaded.

  “Is Cameron pressuring you?” Veronica asked, concerned.

  Gabrielle smiled. “Actually, he’s been very accommodating, but the carnal desires do rise up. He’s a good catch, and he’s cocky enough to know it.”

  Her mother responded, “I’m trying to read between the lines, and I’m not quite sure what you’re trying to tell me by not telling me. My advice is to live your life free from the guilt of sin. Have no regrets about your steadfastness with God.”

  As Veronica slid the pan of biscuits into the oven, she hummed a familiar gospel tune. Gabrielle enjoyed the melody, as they worked together to clean up the mess.

  Before Veronica took off her apron and walked out of the kitchen, she whispered, “Work with the Holy Ghost on this. Don’t take the lead. God sees Cameron’s heart, and He knows your desires. Just like Hannah prayed for a son, He knows you’re praying for a husband.”

  Nodding, Gabrielle accepted her mother’s advice with tears in her eyes. She wanted to go somewhere and hide; she felt like crying to relieve some of her pain. This whole love emotion had her heart aching.

  While dinner baked, she sat quietly reflecting on her mother’s counsel. Veronica had been married longer than she had been single. Her mother tied the knot at age twenty. Gabrielle just recently hit thirty.

  Her phone vibrated, indicating someone had sent a text. Picking it up off the counter, Gabrielle tapped the screen: I wanted you to know I’m thinking about you. Don’t give up on us. Cam.

  Typing back: Give me one reason, she pressed Send.

  Because I love you, Cameron immediately texted back.

  Those four words seemed to warm her heart. She thought about responding with her own declaration, but chose to withhold it. Nah, she said to herself while slipping the phone into her purse. That way she’d be sure not to forget it in the morning.

  Being an old-fashioned girl, she would have preferred Cameron tell her face-to-face that he loved her. She had scribbled the anticipation of that “wow” moment in her handbook of romance a long time ago. More than the feeling of Cameron’s comforting arms, God knew she needed to hear those comforting words.

  In a reflective moment, Gabrielle closed her eyes and pondered Cameron’s text. As her mood began to lighten, she took a deep breath. After a minute or two, she headed to the front bedroom. The additional bed linen she had purchased during a shopping spree with Talise was stored there.

  Stepping out of the closet, Gabrielle paused, hearing familiar voices outside in the parking lot. She flung open the French doors and leaned over the rail, grinning from ear to ear. Drexel and her middle brother, Dashan, had somehow arrived at the same time. “Get up here, you two, so I can get my hugs,” Gabrielle yelled, waving furiously as if they couldn’t see her.

  Buzzing them inside the building, she waited impatiently while they raced up the stairs. Dashan was first to lift her off the floor with a gripping hug. Drexel stood by until it was his turn.

  Bernard had stirred from the recliner and was standing in the background. As the siblings drew closer to their parents, the brothers followed the ritual of shaking hands with their father and kissing their mother. Before the greetings ended, they smothered Veronica and Gabrielle with strong hugs.

  Being surrounded by her family, everything seemed right in her world. For the first time in days, Gabrielle felt content. For a brief moment, she wondered how soon it would be before one of them expanded the fold. That thought caused a frown to appear on her face. Clearly, Gabrielle had been giving too much attention to marriage lately.

  None of them seemed to be in a race to the finish line. Tall, with pecan-colored skin, Dashan opted for the bald look. Although she had to admit it looked good on him, Cameron wore the look better. Drexel preferred weekly barbershop visits and sported a well-manicured mustache. Still, there was no mistaking they were brothers.

  Showing them to her guest bedroom, the two brothers good-naturedly joked about who would get the bed. Dashan concluded the dispute with, “You’re the old man, bro. So you’d better take the mattress. It’ll help your posture.”

  Drexel shot him a friendly warning look.

  Once everyone was settled, Veronica announced dinner was ready. After washing up, they gathered around the bistro-height kitchen table ensemble.

  With heads bowed, Bernard said the grace. “Oh, great and mighty God, we worship You for Your blessings on us today. Thank You for the spiritual health of this family. God, we praise You for allowing us safe travels. Protect Philip as he makes his way to join us. Please sanctify our food and help us to remember those who go without that we may be a blessing to them.”

  After the family ended the prayer with a chorus of “In Jesus’ Name, Amen,” the dishes and utensils began to clang. The mood was light and festive. First, Dashan complimented Gabrielle on her choice of living location and dé
cor. His next statement was one that she could have lived without.

  “Tell me about Cameron,” Dashan asked before taking a bite of his biscuit.

  Gabrielle knew that name would be mentioned sooner or later.

  “When I first met him, I didn’t get a good feeling about him,” Drexel offered before she could say anything. “I don’t care for his cockiness, as if he’s God’s gift to women. My spirit just doesn’t bear witness with his as a practicing Christian. If I could get Gabrielle to come to Springfield one weekend, I would introduce her to some bona-fide, good Christian men.”

  Their father chewed his food slowly. He didn’t comment, but she knew her father’s mind was processing everything spoken. On the other hand, her mother seemed unfazed by Drexel’s assessment. She was the next to speak up. “Son, you may preside over important cases every day. But outside the courtroom, we have to rely on God to reveal a person’s motives. Gabrielle is steadfast in her salvation. She’ll be diligent, watchful, and prayerful.” She winked at her daughter.

  “Thank you, Momma.”

  “Noted, but while Gabrielle is praying, you’d better believe I’m watching,” Drexel said with finality.

  “Now you have me curious about this Cameron Jamieson. Our brother has painted this picture of a monster. Hopefully, while we’re here we can meet him and judge for ourselves. The pun is definitely intended. Court adjourned.” Dashan grinned at his brother, then stood and headed to the stove for seconds.

  Thanks to Drexel, Cameron was going to be a hard sell to her family. But Cameron’s love for her was a source of encouragement. It gave her hope that he would admit to his shortcomings and completely surrender to God.

  Once the dessert was eaten and the kitchen cleaned, the family reminisced about past vacations and even the old neighborhood. Everyone was trying their best to stay awake for Philip’s late arrival.

  The church’s armor bearer would drop Philip off at Gabrielle’s place.

  As they waited, the day’s travel began to take its toll. One by one, the family members nodded until the door buzzer startled them. Scrambling to the intercom, Gabrielle verified her visitor and then flung open the door. Visibly exhausted, Philip dragged himself up the two flights of stairs. Once he cleared the threshold, everyone vied for his attention.

 

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