He chuckled. “We’ve always been on the map, son. You just weren’t looking at the right map.”
In all fairness, that was true. He hadn’t been, because he’d hated Marrell when he’d been young. It had been too confining, too limiting in what it had to offer. Especially for the genius kid who hadn’t fit in. Then there was Leanne—
“So, tell me, Henry, how many patients can I expect to see daily?” He held the front door open and allowed Henry to enter the lobby in front of him. It was a well-appointed area, wide-open spaces, lots of wood structure. It resembled a mountain lodge more than a hospital.
“Maybe a dozen, on average. We’ve got people coming in from all over the area, and Dora Hanson over in Westslope is retiring shortly so, little by little, she’s sending her practice to us.”
“She’s retiring?” He remembered her. She was a good doctor. Kind. Gave out huge lollipops to all the children. “Hard to imagine.”
“When you get to that certain age...”
Dora Hanson, getting to that age. He still pictured her as forty, vibrant, cheery smile. Of course, she probably still pictured him as someone close to Matthew’s age—five. Time did have a way of marching on when you weren’t noticing. “I always liked her. She gave out better candy than you did.”
Henry chuckled. “Of course, you would remember the important thing.”
“To a young child, that lollipop was the important thing.”
“Do you give out lollipops, Caleb?”
He didn’t. His two years in a Las Vegas clinic had been so fast-paced, he’d barely had time to get the necessities done, let alone give out lollipops or even be the father Matthew needed. “Maybe I’ll have to buy some,” he said, suddenly feeling connected a little differently than he had only moments earlier. Back to his roots, back to some of the more traditional ways. Ways he hoped to give to his nontraditional son.
“Well, just so it won’t come as a big shock to you when you hear it, Dora and I are getting married shortly.”
That announcement snapped Caleb back to the present, and he blinked his surprise. “What?”
“Getting married and heading toward retirement while I’m still young enough to enjoy my new life with her.” He pointed to a hall veering off the main waiting area, and both men headed in that direction. “Got some good fishing years left in me, and Dora and I want to travel, take in some sights we weren’t able to see while we were in full-time practice.”
“Who’s going to run the hospital?” Caleb asked, even though he had a sinking feeling he already knew.
They stopped in front of a door that was marked “Family Practice Clinic,” with the name “Dr. Caleb Carsten” already inscribed on a placard next to it. “I’m signing the place over to Leanne, but she’s been telling me she doesn’t want to move back here.” He grinned. “Since she’ll be the new owner, I suppose that will be her problem to figure out while I’m out on the river somewhere, casting my line.”
Leanne Sinclair. The name from his past he wasn’t sure he liked hearing again. Of course, working for her dad made it inevitable that he would, although he’d been trying not to think about it. But working for her?
Suddenly, Caleb was having second thoughts about being here. And third thoughts. For an instant, he wondered if he should simply get his old job back, and look for a different resolution in his life. Someplace where he didn’t have to be around Leanne, or the memories she’d left him with, memories that once-upon-a-time had nearly destroyed him. Sure, they had been kids back then, but some hurts didn’t go away. Instead, they lingered and festered like an open wound. Leanne was his open wound.
* * *
Leanne Sinclair leaned her head back against her chair and sighed. “All you have to do is say the word, and I won’t go.” She’d known that returning home might be a possibility, but now? She’d had four great months with Eric and, while she wasn’t ready yet to call him the one, he was certainly settling in on that distinction. He’d asked her, two weeks into their relationship, to make it exclusive, and she’d agreed.
But now, her dad needed her home. Five hundred and eighty-two miles from Seattle, and from Eric. A nineteen-hour drive due to the rough terrain. Not so far in miles, but very far by the emotions when she really had none invested in Marrell, Montana. Hadn’t for a long time.
And, while she was absolutely coming back to Seattle after she got the situation in Marrell sorted, she wasn’t sure, yet, how everything was going to work. Her dad was going into semiretirement with an eye toward full retirement in a year, and he was giving her his hospital. Not only that, but he wanted her to stay and run it.
Like that would ever happen.
“I’m waiting,” she said to Eric, her eyes still closed.
“Going home’s not such a bad thing, is it? And it’s not like it’s going to be forever.”
That wasn’t exactly what she’d wanted to hear from him. Somehow, in her mind, she’d expected him to ask her to stay. Or even beg her. Tell her he couldn’t live without her, or didn’t want to. But to suggest she should go?
“And it’s not like Marrell’s that far from Seattle,” he continued. “We can meet up in the middle somewhere, anytime we’re both free.”
She stared up at him. Eric Harrison was a handsome man. Movie-star good looks. Black, wavy hair, green eyes, nice physique. “Are you saying you want me to go? Is that what I’m hearing?”
Eric, who was standing across from Leanne, leaned forward, placed the palms of his hands flat on her desk and shook his head. “Of course, I don’t want you to go. But we don’t all get the choices we like, do we?”
No, she hadn’t expected this at all, and she was stunned by how quickly the hurt was bubbling up in her. “I don’t understand. Since we’re so new, I thought you’d want me to stay.”
He chuckled. “Don’t be so insecure. We’ll make this work, no matter where you are.”
“A long-distance relationship?”
“For three months. A lot of people do it for a whole lot longer than that. It’s not so difficult these days.”
“But I’m not a lot of people.” And she wanted to stay close to her man. She also wanted him to want her to stay closer and, so far, Eric was avoiding that.
“No, you’re not, or I wouldn’t have been so attracted to you in the first place.”
Maybe it was some undefined apprehension causing her to wonder if that attraction had been anything other than physical for him. Some stupid insecurity just now popping up. Because she was feeling apprehensive about going to Marrell. Not sure why, but her stomach was doing flip-flops, now that the plan was all but definite. “Can we try to schedule meeting somewhere two or three times a month?”
“Or more, if we can work it out.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “It’s going to work, Leanne. You’ve got my promise.”
Maybe she had his promise, but what she didn’t have was his optimism. And she wasn’t normally such a pessimist. But there was something about going home for three months...
* * *
“One year, ten months,” Henry Sinclair stated emphatically. He and Leanne were strolling together through the halls of Sinclair Hospital, both wearing white jackets, both looking very doctorly.
“That long?” Leanne questioned. “I’d have sworn I came home sometime about a year ago.” Her dad looked good. He claimed his health was great, and she trusted he wasn’t lying to her. Plus, he was a man in love. After a lifetime of having no mother, at age thirty-six she was about to get one. Dora was nice. Leanne had known her all her life, and she was sure that her dad and Dora would be happy together. Maybe Dora would succeed in something where she’d failed—holding her dad’s attention for more than a minute or two at a time. She hoped so.
“Nope. I marked it off on the calendar. One year and ten months, which you might as well call two years.”
&nbs
p; Admittedly, she hadn’t been the most dutiful of daughters these past several years. First, because she just didn’t like coming home. And second, because as her responsibilities and skills continued to move her forward in Seattle’s medical mainstream, she was better able to forget Marrell. Some memories weren’t as vivid, she was discovering now that she was back, and she was fine with that.
So, she was eager to get on with whatever she had to do so she could go back to her real life. To Eric. Because the farther she was away from him in miles, the further she felt distanced emotionally. The way she always had, in every other relationship, affair or friendship she’d attempted. Eric was her success. Her longest. Except Caleb, but that had been a kid thing, which didn’t count. And now, she didn’t want anything happening to what she had with Eric. But she was already beginning to feel the detachment, wondering if it had something to do with Marrell.
What was it about this place that made her feel so uncomfortable?
“So, about the hospital, Dad...”
“I know. You don’t want it. Don’t want to move back here.”
“None of that’s changed.” Couldn’t, wouldn’t.
“You always knew it would be yours, Leanne. This shouldn’t come to you as a surprise.”
“It doesn’t. But I’m not...” She drew in a deep breath. This was difficult because she didn’t want to hurt him. While her feelings for her dad were strained, there was nothing malicious in her. Nothing that made her want to punish him. Living how she wanted would, though, as that didn’t include her dad’s dream. “Since I’m not moving back, my thought was to own it from a distance and trust the daily operations to someone else.” She could tell by the disappointment registering on her dad’s face it wasn’t what he’d hoped for. But it was the best she could do. “I don’t fit in here, Dad.” Hadn’t since she’d been a kid. In fact, the most solid memory of her childhood was her plan to get away from Marrell as soon as she could.
She and Caleb running away together... They were only nine or ten when they’d planned it, but it was a plan that had always stayed alive in her with, or without, Caleb. “I’ve lived away from Marrell almost as long as I lived here, and the blood in my veins runs pretty thin when it comes to my sentiment for this place.”
Finally arriving at her dad’s office, she followed him in, immediately went to the cushy leather chair across the desk from him and sat down. Same chair she’d always sat in. Same decorations. Fishing lures and poles hung on the wall, photos of fishing trips filled spaces where fishing gear did not, along with old photos of babies he’d delivered and patients he’d cured. No pictures of her. Bookshelves on the south wall were filled with medical volumes and books about—yes, fishing. All of him, none of her. Such a stark reminder of what she’d never had.
“There’s nothing I can say or do to change your mind?” Henry asked, dropping down into the well-worn leather chair behind his desk.
“I took a three-month leave of absence instead of resigning my position in the hospital. That’ll give me plenty of time to get to know Sinclair, and find the right person to take over.”
“But you’ll still own it?”
No, she didn’t want that burden either. But the hospital was almost a family legacy, so it only seemed right that she should keep it in the family...for a while. “I’ll still own it,” she replied.
“Well, I do have a new hire who might be good to take over. Caleb Carsten. He’s been here three weeks, just moved back to Marrell himself.”
“Caleb’s back?” she asked, totally shocked. Caleb—her first love when she’d been five. First heartbreak much later. “I’m surprised,” she said tentatively, not sure how to react. To love him being here because he might be the solution to her problem, or hate it because he’d quit being her friend when she’d most needed one? Maybe she’d be indifferent since all that was a lifetime ago. “He hated it here. That was something we both had in common.” And it almost felt personal that he’d changed his mind and come back.
“Well, hate or not, he’s renting the old Wilson place out on Bentwood Road, and if his plans work out, he’ll probably buy it.”
Caleb settling down here? Hard to imagine. So, what was behind it? “He’s a surgeon, isn’t he? Why would a surgeon want to work here? We don’t do major surgeries.”
“Because he’s in family practice now. Got wounded in Afghanistan, can’t operate. He had to change direction.”
Well, Caleb had always been about changing direction, hadn’t he? Still, changing direction toward Marrell? Why here, specifically? “Why didn’t you tell me he’d come home?” she asked, dragging up old memories of Caleb Carsten. He’d been a little on the rough side, looks-wise. Sandy-blond hair, always a little bit long and unkempt, blue eyes... Sort of a solitary boy. Awkward. Odd. Often in trouble. Smart. Probably the smartest kid she’d known. So full of promises she’d bought into when she was so young she hadn’t understood all the things that had kept him apart from the other kids in town.
“Because I wasn’t sure he’d accept my offer to work here permanently, and I’m still not sure he’ll stay. So, I decided to wait until he’d made up his mind about Marrell before I said anything.”
“Meaning you kept me out of the loop, even though you want me to take over the very same loop you’re keeping me out of?” Some things never changed. Her dad had always overlooked her. Even when she’d tried hard to get him to notice, he never had. In fact, there’d been times when she’d believed he’d favored Caleb over her.
“I thought if you knew Caleb was back, you might not come. You two didn’t have a happily-ever-after ending, you know.”
“He was a bad kid, Dad. Got into trouble. Got put in jail.” Replaced me whenever you’d let him. “What was I supposed to do? Give up on everything I wanted and hope he would have a miracle transformation? And you’re right, if I’d known he was back, working here in family practice, I probably wouldn’t have come. Not because I don’t want to see him but because he’s capable of doing everything you expect me to do and, probably, secretly want him to do more than you want me to.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Henry asked, looking over the top of his glasses at her.
“It means Marrell isn’t big enough to support both Caleb and me, especially in the same field. Since he apparently wants to be here, and I don’t...” She shrugged.
“But the hospital’s yours, all except signing the papers, which are being drawn up right now.”
“You know I don’t want to run it, Dad, or work in it. I’ll own it, but that’s all, as I have a different life than that.” He wasn’t listening to her, though, like the way he’d never listened to anything she’d ever said. Still, she wasn’t giving up on this. Especially now that Caleb had entered the mix and offered her the possibility of something she hadn’t expected—a good, workable solution.
“Then it will have to be your decision to turn the day-to-day operations over to somebody else.”
She wasn’t going to engage. They’d had this discussion—argument—many times over the past year. He knew where she stood, and nothing about that had changed. But Caleb...now, that added a whole new dimension to this argument. Maybe he could be the one to take over. Hopefully, buy her out sometime in the future. It was certainly a plan worth considering. “Which I will certainly do. So, how was Caleb wounded?” she asked, not sure what to expect.
“Shot in the shoulder. Shattered the bone, caused some neurological damage. Not enough to cause a lot of disability but enough to keep him out of the OR.”
That was too bad, because she imagined Caleb would be good at anything he did. She was sure he’d have been a great surgeon. “And he’s back in Marrell, why?”
“To raise his son. To be closer to his family, so they can help him.”
“Then he’s a single father?” That was something she hadn’t expected. Somehow, she didn’t pic
ture Caleb as the father type.
“To a five-year-old.”
“No mother in the picture?”
“Not that I’m aware of. But Caleb’s a very good dad. Dotes on his son.”
“I don’t suppose I would have expected that from someone like him.” Because she still pictured him as the one who stood apart from everybody else. The one being cuffed and carted off to jail. Which was, in fact, the last time she’d ever seen him.
“Someone like him, Leanne? Caleb was always a nice boy. A little troubled, yes, but he had potential. Went into the army after he was released from detention, got himself through college and med school. Then turned his life into something successful.”
“I guess that makes sense, seeing how he would come to the hospital and follow you around all the time. And all the attention you gave him.” That he hadn’t given her. “Anyway, I’ll catch up with him as soon as I can. Maybe ask him about taking over admin duties at Sinclair.”
“Let him settle in first. Figure out if he’s going to stay or not.”
“You mentioned that before, that he might not stay.”
“If Matthew doesn’t get into Hans Schilling’s school, he might not.”
“The orchestral conductor who runs that school for child prodigies? Matthew is a musical prodigy?”
“From what I’ve heard. And that’s the real reason why Caleb came home. Sure, having his family here for Matthew was a big incentive, but Hans Schilling was the real draw.”
“Well, I’m not going to promise I’ll wait before I start pressing him, because I have a life to get back to. But first I’d like to talk to him—for old times’ sake.” Not that she really recalled many of those old times since she’d been more focused on how she was going to make new times for herself.
“He’s in this morning.” Henry glanced at his watch, saw that morning had slipped into noon. “Actually, you’ll probably find him in the cafeteria right about now. Eating lunch.”
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