by Golden Angel
"Roger said your Dad wants you to get back together with him," Todd said finally, breathing the words so softly into her ear that if she had been asleep, he wouldn't have woken her up.
"Fortunately my Dad doesn't get what he wants when it comes to me anymore," she murmured. Not quite as quietly as Todd since, after all, he was behind her and she wanted to make sure that he heard her. His arm over her stomach tightened, acknowledging her words. "I don't want Roger back. I chose you."
"You haven't talked to your family since you argued with them about me."
Allison shrugged with the shoulder that wasn't on the bed. "And I don't plan to. Not unless they reach out to me."
"Don't you think that this might have been their way of reaching out?"
She gave an exasperated sigh. "If they're going to 'reach out' through my ex and say that they want me to get back together with him, rather than contacting me and apologizing for caring more about their social status than they care about me, then I don't count that as 'reaching out' anyway."
In fact, she found it pretty hurtful. Selfish. Snobbish. Childish. And not something that she was going to respond to. It was insulting to Todd as well and she took that even more poorly than she did the insult to herself. All they had done was stoke her anger all over again and made her even less inclined to yield.
There was a long quiet moment as Todd stroked her stomach, his face buried in her hair. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck and she snuggled back further, putting her arm over his, curving it over her stomach.
"I don't want you to never talk to your family again. Not because of me."
"It's not because of you," she protested, squeezing his hand. "It's because of me and because of them, because I'm not doing what they want."
"But you're not doing what they want because of me."
The silence between them lengthened. This was not the way Allison thought tonight was going to go and it frightened her, to think that Todd might draw away from her under some noble impression of sacrificing himself so that her parents would talk to her again.
"Even if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have stayed with Roger," she said. "I wasn't happy with him. I'm happy with you. I'm living with you and I want to live with you. My parents were already upset about a lot of things in my life - like the fact that I was working and that I had moved out. Trying to regulate my dating life was just the last straw. It's not you, it's them. And the fact that I've grown up and I didn't want them running my life anymore."
Todd didn't say anything and Allison felt new tears spark in her eyes, responding to the aching feeling in her heart.
"I'm not leaving," she said in a low, fierce voice. "I'm not leaving and even if you kicked me out, I wouldn't go back to my parents or to Roger. I want you."
That startled a laugh out of Todd and the bands around Allison's chest seemed to relax.
"I'm not going to kick you out," he said, holding her tighter if that was even possible. She wriggled back against him, encouraging the attempt to get even closer. "I was just thinking that maybe you should try talking to them again, that's all."
"I'm not going to them, they can come to me," she replied a little hotly. "They're the ones acting ridiculous."
"You could give them a demonstration on how to act, be the bigger person and make the first step," he said, although there was now a tone of amusement in his voice.
She shook her head. "That will just make them feel like they're right."
"Not if you stick to what you want, then it will just show them that you still want to talk and try to work things out."
Stroking the back of his arm, Allison played with the dark hairs, trying to make them stand straight up as she thought. While she did miss her parents, because they were her parents, she wasn't sure that she was ready to make the first move yet. After all, her father was the one who had pretty much kicked her out of their house, telling her that she wasn't welcome back until she was ready to let him dictate her love life. Her mother never went against what her father said. Both of them cared too much about appearances and their own social climbing and not enough about her.
Part of her felt like if they really loved her then they would realize that she should be allowed to live her own life, work if she wanted to work and date who she wanted to date, whether or not they approved. Being told that she had to live by her father's dictates or be unwelcome in their house made her feel like she wasn't loved by them at all. And the idea that she should have to approach them first, risking confirmation of their lack of love for her, risking a second round of rejection... well she wasn't sure she could handle that. If they came to her first then she would know that they were putting her before their pride and social status.
But she didn't want Todd to feel like he was the cause of the rift either, because he truly wasn't. Possibly he was a symbol of how she was going to decide things for herself, but he definitely wasn't the entire reason.
"I'll think about it," she said finally.
And he gave her a little squeeze, hard, as if he wanted her to know that he appreciated the compromise but he wasn't entirely pleased that she wasn't immediately taking her suggestion.
Unlike her parents, however, he didn't reject her in anyway. He just held her tight as they fell silent and finally drifted off to sleep.
****************
Three days after the housewarming party, Allison was in the school library when her mom called. Of course, since her phone was on silent, she didn't know it until she left the library after finishing her research and took out her phone to turn the volume back on. Chewing on her lip she stared at the missed call and voicemail notifications.
Part of her dared to hope that maybe her mom was calling to make a peace offering. The sinking sensation in her stomach was her more pessimistic side disagreeing. She should have expected this really. After all, her parents had told her straight out they’d wanted her to get back together with Roger. Then they’d gone to work on him. Now it was time for the follow-up.
Almost a standard business model. A straight on hit, followed by one from the side, and then the follow-up And best to send in the more sympathetic party – i.e. her mother. Wouldn’t do for her father to show himself backing down. A kind of familial good cop / bad cop with a side of heavy manipulation.
Getting into her car, she started it, deciding that she could let the engine warm up while she listened to the message. Spring was coming, and so was graduation, and she was seriously looking forward to both. While she did like cold weather at first, she was always ready for it to start warming up by the time it finally did. And she would be happy to be finished with school so that she could just work full time instead of splitting her time between work and classes. Especially since then her evenings would be completely free to spend with Todd rather than doing homework.
Tightening her lips, she tried not to get her hopes up too much as she dialed the voicemail and put in her password.
"Hello Allison." Her mother's elegant tones resounded in her ear, managing to sound both concerned and cool. The sound of home. "I was hoping to hear from you before this, but since you haven't called... Your father and I know that you saw Roger this past weekend and we'd hoped that you might have some... news for us. We miss you sweetheart. We hope that you make the appropriate decision and that we'll see you soon." The words cut through Allison like knives, but the biggest cut of all came as pleading entered her mother's voice. "Come home soon dearest... We love you. I want my daughter back... please..."
Guilt and fury fought for space in Allison's emotions as her mother hung up the phone and the voicemail asked if she wanted to delete or save the message. She saved it, wiping away the treacherous tears that were at the corner of her eyes. The last bit of her mother's message was so emotional, not at all cool or elegant, as if she truly did miss Allison and want her back. And yet... that love that her mother spoke of, that welcome back, was obviously conditional on her acquiesce to her parent's expectations.
Her mother wouldn't even say Todd's name or reference the fact that she was in a relationship already, much less the fact that Roger was.
Did they not know about Roger and Diana? Or did they simply not care?
Allison found it all too easy to believe both scenarios.
Chapter 3
When Todd came home that night, Allison was busy baking. The kitchen was very warm from all the use that the oven had been put to and there were several trays of baked goods on the kitchen island. Currently she was decorating sugar cookies with homemade icing while she waited for her salted caramel butter bars to be done. Fortunately for both her and Todd's waistlines, it was easy to get rid of baked goods. All she had to do was take them into work and it was like vultures descending on a feast.
She'd come a long way from the days when she'd made chocolate chip cookies to help her relax. While she didn't consider herself a great cook or baker, she'd learned a lot and she enjoyed trying out new recipes. Especially on days like today when she was upset. The more she thought about her mother's voicemail, the more upset she got. Considering how much her mother said 'we,' her father obviously knew that her mother was calling, although he wouldn't lower himself to talk to the daughter that he'd cast out until she was back under his thumb.
Further incensing her was the complete lack of regard for anyone's desires other than theirs. Somehow she couldn't see Roger hiding his new relationship from her father, he was far too honorable and honest for that; which meant that her father knew even if her mother didn't, and at least one of them just didn't care. The absolute disregard for anyone's lives but their own made her furious, and she'd worked out that emotion kneading bread. In fact, she'd gone a little overboard on kneading the bread and it hadn't come out very well because of that, but at least she'd felt better after pounding the poor dough for almost an hour. Basically until her arms had gotten too tired to do anymore.
And the fact that here parents were trying to tempt her back into their fold with the promise of their love, rather than just loving and accepting her for who she was, was the worst part. Yes, we will love you, but only if you do what we say. That hurt the worst. Because despite how they were treating her, Allison still loved her parents. Unconditionally. The way it was supposed to be. She kept telling herself that they didn't mean it the way it sounded, but that's how it felt to her right now. Especially since she didn't feel like her arguments were particularly convincing.
Standing in the doorway to the kitchen, Todd looked damn good in his black suit, crisp white shirt and the red patterned tie that he was loosening from around his neck. Eying her almost warily, he draped his jacket and tie over the back of the couch before coming to sit at one of the stools on the island, next to a tray of pinwheel cookies. Poking at one, he found that it was warm but not hot, and picked it up as Allison gave him a little smile. She set down the cookie she was icing and picked up the next one.
"So what's wrong?" he asked.
Useless to pretend that nothing was. Even if she hadn't told him about her penchant for baking when she was upset, Todd could read her like a book. And the sheer amount of baked goods set out would probably tip off a much less observant man.
"My mom called today. Left a message." There was an art to icing cookies. You had to hold the cookie just right so that it didn't crumble between your fingers, putting just the right amount of pressure on the knife so that it didn't break any pieces off, angling it just so in order to make the icing look its best. Almost two dozen cookies in, Allison was getting pretty good at it. "Wanted to know if I'm back together with Roger yet. If I am they'll love me again."
Todd grabbed her hand as she set the cookie down, before she could pick another one up.
"That's not what she said."
"Close enough." Allison blinked to keep away the tears that threatened. She refused to cry over her parents’ intransigent attitude anymore. Talk about useless tears. He squeezed her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles in a comforting way and Allison clenched her jaw and met his eyes squarely. "It's fine. I'm just angry all over again. About all of it."
He wanted to tell her that of course her parents loved her, despite the way they were acting, but he didn't think she would react well to that right now. Understandably. Instead he just stood up and walked around to her side of the island, releasing her hand so that she could keep icing cookies as he put his arms around her waist and hugged her close. After a moment Allison relaxed, sinking back against him so that her body molded to his, her movements slowing as she continued to ice the cookie she was holding.
"Want to go out to dinner?" he asked. "We can come back here for dessert." The blandness in his tone was more mocking than if he’d actually pointed out the giant spread of sweets she’d made.
Allison giggled, feeling a little bit more cheerful now that Todd was home and gently teasing her. Just being held by him was wonderful, knowing that he loved her and wanted to make her happy. She was especially happy that he wasn't going to push the whole contacting her parents’ thing. Although she didn't think he could be any happier about the fact that they wanted her to get back together with Roger than she was, she knew he was stubborn enough not to let go of the idea that she should make the first move towards reconciling with her parents.
"Yeah, that sounds nice," she said putting down the cookie and icing knife. "I can finish these later."
"I'm going to go change into something more comfortable," he said, turning her around with his hands on her hips. Then he leaned down and kissed her, deeply, passionately. Allison pressed back against him, her tongue sliding against his as she kissed him back. When he pulled away, he dropped a light kiss on her nose before heading upstairs.
It was amazing how just a few minutes with Todd could change her entire mood around, she mused as she covered the icing and finished cookies with plastic wrap and piled the unfinished ones in a Tupperware. Just as she was finishing that up the timer went off for the salted caramel butter bars and she took them out of the oven, setting the pan down on a wire cooling tray. Then she headed to the bathroom to wash her hands and put on some make-up. She rarely wore any when she went to school anymore, although she still wore it on days that she worked. Todd liked the natural look on her, but she couldn't get over the urge to put some on when they went out. Was it something left over from her mother or just a girl thing?
She limited herself to eyeliner, lip gloss and a light dusting of brown shadow on her eyelids, keeping the natural look but just enhancing her features a little bit. The eyeliner especially helped to make her eyes really pop. When she went into their bedroom, Todd was sitting on the bed putting on his sneakers. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans that hugged his legs and a deep green shirt that had sleeves that rolled up and were secured with a small band of fabric that buttoned onto the shoulder. Casual but sexy.
Looking down at her own outfit, she disappeared into the closet
"What are you doing?" Todd called out from behind her.
"I just want to change my shirt," she said. After all, she'd been wearing the same thing all day and he got to change. Right now she was wearing a plain red long sleeved t-shirt, and while it hugged her curves nicely, she definitely didn't feel like she looked as good as Todd did. Examining her options, she grabbed a black, purple and grey Asian inspired shirt with a v-neck and bell sleeves. It only took her a moment to change and when she walked back out of the closet she was glad she had, as Todd's eyes glittered appreciatively.
Sitting on the bed still, he was completely ready to go with his hands clasped and hanging between his knees. Allison moved over to him and he opened his arms so that she could stand between his knees with her hands on his shoulders. Leaning over she kissed him, very gently, as his hands slid up the backs of her thighs and gripped her ass. Then he slid his hands around to the front of her hips and gently pushed her back.
"You'd better stop that or we're not going to get anywhere tonight," he warned.
"Ohhhh... okay," she said
with a little giggle as she turned away. And then yelped as he gave her butt a sharp smack.
Grabbing her ankle boots she quickly put them on and they headed out the door.
*******
Over the next couple of weeks, Allison wondered if her parent's desires had had more of an effect on Todd than she'd thought, because he was acting particularly affectionate. He'd always been pretty demonstrative, but it seemed like even in private he was going out of his way to touch and cuddle her... and she reveled in it. They watched movies cuddled up on the couch, played footsie while they played Scrabble, and held hands everywhere they went. Some of it was a little distracting - like the back massages when she was trying to do homework, but she wasn't going to complain.
There was a special softness in his eyes every time he looked at her. It was enough to make her wonder if he was already thinking about the next step in their relationship beyond living together. Not that they'd been living together for very long, but they'd settled in very quickly. Both of them were easy to live with, happy to change their patterns in order to accommodate the other. And it helped that they both were generally neat and clean people, although it was already becoming obvious that Allison was a little more messy than Todd. Mostly when it came to leaving clothing around the house. He'd bought a second laundry hamper to put in their bathroom because otherwise she just left her clothes on the floor until they piled up enough for her to notice them and then she'd put them in the basket in their bedroom.
"Have you looked?" Diana asked when Allison shared her thoughts.
They were in Allison and Todd's kitchen cooking dinner, Todd had to work late and Allison had invited Diana over to hang out for an evening and help her make dinner. It kept her from being alone and also meant that she got to catch up on her girl time. She missed having dinners with Diana now that they weren't living together; living with a girl friend was completely different from living with her boyfriend. Not in a bad way, but she did miss some of the benefits of living with a girl - like the gossip time.