by Roxy Sloane
Barton’s got to be wrong about everything. It just doesn’t make sense. When I'm just in the moment with Xavier, not freaking out and paranoid, being with him is so effortless and so much fun. My life before Miami was all about what had to be done and what should be done. I've realized more and more over the weeks with Xavier that I haven't ever done anything just for me, or just because it felt good.
Since coming to Miami, I've had some bad moments. Things have gotten out of control. But I've also had a lot of great moments like today, the ballpark, the dinners… the sex. Am I crazy to even be here right now, though? I've fallen for this man, hard. The only thing keeping me away from him completely is the uncertainty. But everything in me screams that he doesn't have this dark side. That he's not a bad man. Bad men don't treat people the way he treats me. They demand to be adored, worshipped. Xavier's the one who treats me that way.
I'm so lost in my thoughts, that I don't realize he's to my left until he speaks.
"How about some ice cream to reward your fine acting ability?"
"You don't have to go back to work?"
"Yes, but not just yet. This is more important."
"The ice cream?" I give him a disbelieving look.
"No, you."
#
We end up at a walk-up stand a couple blocks away. Judging by the line, it's the most popular place in the neighborhood. When we finally order, I get a vanilla cone with multi-colored sprinkles, and Xavier gets a chocolate cone.
"You know sprinkles anger the ice cream gods, right?"
"What? First you don't tell me about your million kids, and now you're telling me you're against sprinkles?"
"Not just against them. I'm anti-sprinkles." He gives me a meaningful look as he takes another bite of ice cream.
"Anti-? Really? Wow." I shake my head. "I'm seriously rethinking the whole girlfriend thing."
He shrugs. "You think. I'll just sit here and eat pure, chocolaty goodness in a cone."
"So if you're anti-sprinkle, I couldn't do this and tempt you?" I dab my cone on my wrist, leaving melted vanilla with a few stray sprinkles.
He peers at me over his ice cream cone and then goes back to it without saying a word. I lift my wrist to my mouth and act like I'm going to lick it off. Before I can though, he reaches for my arm and takes care of it for me, slowly licking the inside of my wrist.
"I guess sprinkles are okay," he says with a mischievous grin. I know he’s just teasing me, but the heat from his tongue lingers on my skin.
He goes back to his cone and watches the people around us. He seems lighter today. More free. I wonder what burden has been lifted for him.
"You're different today. Out of character."
He arches his eyebrow at me. "Is that a bad thing?"
"No," I pause. "It's just that I'm not quite sure what to make of this version of you."
"The goofy, child-like, teasing version?"
I laugh loudly, surprised at the description. "Precisely."
"You just bring out the best in me, Nikki. What can I say?"
He leans over to kiss me, and I taste the chocolate on his lips. When he pulls back, he gently brushes a stray hair from my face.
It's so easy for me to forget about everything else when I'm with him. Things just fall away.
After today, I'm convinced that Xavier can't be El Jefe. He just can't. But it's not enough.
I have to prove he's not who Barton says he is. To do that, I'll have to keep lying to him, keep invading his privacy.
Every smile he gives me sends a dagger into my heart.
Chapter Six
My afternoon with Xavier yesterday meant that I missed seeing Hailey between work and heading to her boyfriend's house. Unfortunately, this morning she’s sitting at the table eating breakfast when I wake up.
For the last few days, she and I have lived in a world of either silence or polite but unfriendly conversation as we try to navigate around each other. The frostiness hangs in the air, invading what was once an apartment full of laughter. I'm tired of it, and I decide to tell her as much.
"I'm sorry, Hail. I hate that there's wedge between us."
"Yeah, me too. I miss you."
"I miss you more! But you have to trust me. I can't explain things to you right now, but I know what I'm doing."
She puts down her spoon and turns to face me. "Do you? Really? After what happened to Eli and Kayla, you need to be more careful."
"I know, and I am handling it." I sit down next to her at the table. I’m not playing the part of a girl in love, too gaga to have a brain. I’m as honest as I can be. "Everything will be over soon, I promise."
She sighs and puts her hand on top of mine. "I'm just worried about you, Nik. We're supposed to look out for each other, right?"
"Always, girl."
I lean in to hug her, and we stay holding each other for a minute or two. Hailey's my best friend. I don't want to lose her over this
When we break apart, I ask, "Are we okay?"
"We're good, Nik. Really. Just be careful."
Hailey goes back to eating her cereal, and I get up to pour some for myself. I almost drop the box when she slaps her hand down on the table.
"I have the best idea! What's your schedule today?"
When my heart recovers, I respond. "Absolutely empty. Why? What's up?"
She digs in her purse and produces two slips of paper that look similar to boarding passes. "Feel like some pampering? These babies are good for a massage, a facial, mani-pedi, and sauna. They even throw in lunch and champagne after."
"Nice! Where'd you get those?"
"Remember that guy Todd I introduced you to from the Davenport Hotel? That industry night at Ultra?"
I frown and try to remember. She introduced me to, like, fifty people that night.
"Wait, is he puppy dog boy?" I laugh at the memory. "The one who was crushing on you so hard that he followed you the entire night?"
She groans. "Don't remind me. He was so trashed that he told me he loved me five times."
"Well, if Todd wants to try to win you over with girly presents, I will gladly benefit from them as a true friend should."
A spa day with my best friend sounds like the closest thing to heaven on Earth right now. Besides, no one can follow me into a massage room, so at least my paranoia can dial down a few notches while I enjoy some girl time.
#
I thought the massage and facial would be just what I needed to take the edge off and leave me feeling like I'm floating on a cloud. Unfortunately, my spa experience is marred by my brain’s need to see conspiracies in everything. From the valet who took Hailey’s car to the towel girl, I feel like everyone is watching me. Like everyone is working for El Jefe.
Barton may have someone following me, but it’s not like they’ll be able to follow me in here. What if someone attacks me? There are a million ways someone could murder me here. I feel like I’m on an episode of some investigation show.
My masseuse is a stocky, Viking-type who would normally be fuel for a fantasy. But each time his hands travel to my neck and shoulders, I tense up, as if I’m waiting for him to strangle me. He senses the tension and tries to solve the problem by saying “relax” or “let your tension wash away.”
After my disastrous massage, I finally join Hailey in the hot tub. The heat of the water feels good on my tense muscles. Some of the soreness melts away, but the tension remains. I close my eyes and lean my head back, enjoying the feel of the water against my skin and the sound and pressure of the jets.
Wait. No one can come into the hot tub area, right?
Hailey’s voice breaks through my brain spiral.
"So it seems like you and Xavier are in a good place."
"Hail," I groan and open my eyes. "I can't deal with a lecture right now."
She holds up her hands in surrender. "No lectures. I'm your friend. I want to know all the gory details of your love life so I can compare it to mine and hopefully feel superio
r in that I have the better boyfriend."
"What are friends for, right?"
We laugh, but Hailey's face quickly goes back to being serious.
"I really want to be here for you, Nik. Tell me about him. What happened between you guys?"
Obviously I can't tell Hailey the truth about what's going on, but I explain how we made up and tell her about everything that's happened since, including our afternoon together yesterday. She's quiet while I get the story out, letting me say what I need to.
"So, everything you've told me about Xavier since you met him is pretty positive. The only thing that scared you was never how he acted around you and just rumors you’ve heard about him. He's never been threatening or harmed you, even when he was super angry."
"All true."
"And you're both obviously into each other."
I sigh and lean my head back again, letting the water hit the back of my neck and loosen it up. "That is not in question. At all."
"Then why are you hesitating?"
It takes me a moment to gather my thoughts. I'm wondering how to tell her what I want to without giving too much away. The less Hailey knows about the situation, the better. I don't want her to be in danger.
"I feel like he's got a double life." I pause to look over at her and see something in her eyes that I can't read, so I speed forward. "Like he's hiding something. It seems like he's two different people."
"What makes you say that?"
"He's secretive a lot, but he can also be very open and funny. He behaves one way when I see him at the resort- in control, focused. A get-what-he-wants kind of guy. But then a few times we've been out together, he's been very different. And sometimes when he's on the phone with someone, he gets demanding and forceful toward them. It's like he's different people all the time."
"Sounds like every high-powered guy I've ever met, Nik. They have to be 'on' a lot of the time, so they like to let loose when they're with someone who makes them feel comfortable. I see a lot of 'that guy' at the resort."
Hailey steps out of the hot tub and wraps her robe around herself. I do the same and follow her to the hall door. A sign on it says Respect the peace around you. No talking in the hallway, please.
We pad toward the steam room. Our bare feet slap against the tile, sounding loud in the quiet hallway. Once again, I have the feeling of being observed, but since no one’s in the hallway I chastise myself for being ridiculous.
Someone has put lavender oil in the steam generator, so the room is filled with the scent. When someone pours water over the rocks, it intensifies. Hailey and I sit down on the far side of the room and unwrap our robes. I look around, but there are only two other women in here, and neither pays any attention to us.
I continue our conversation at a low volume. "But what about his secrets? Hiding things from me and not giving me straight answers sometimes? I hadn't even seen him or heard from him in days, but he didn't say anything about work at all yesterday. Am I crazy to be so paranoid about this when he seems like such a good guy?"
"Everyone has secrets. A dark side. Part of a relationship is accepting the worst in someone. You have to, or it won't work."
Hailey pats my hand and then lies across the bench. I lean forward, breathing deeply of the steam and trying to get the lavender to calm me. But my thoughts keep racing.
How dark does Xavier's dark side go? What will he do to keep his secrets?
#
It’s not enough for me to have most of my spa day ruined by paranoia and stress, apparently. Then the universe decides to get creative.
We’re enjoying a light lunch with champagne when one of the spa employees rushes into our private room. The look on her face tells me that something is really wrong, and I brace for the worst, although I’m not sure what that is anymore.
"There’s a storm, and it’s intensifying. It’s going to get much worse than originally expected here. We’ve decided to go ahead and close early and will honor all services remaining in your package at a later date. I’m sorry, ladies.”
She rushes out of the room, and Hailey and I look at each other. I pull up the site of one of the local TV stations and we watch the live feed.
The hurricane that was supposed to go into the Gulf of Mexico didn't. It's headed right for us now, and according to the weather reporter, we'll start to feel effects from the storm in the late afternoon.
“It was supposed to hit so far from here. Just give us a good amount of rain. Did you know that it shifted at all?” My nerves are on edge. Both Hailey and Xavier had each assured me the storm wouldn’t be bad and that I had nothing to worry about. If the locals were concerned now, that scared me.
Hailey’s brow furrows, and she stands up and downs the last of the champagne in her glass. “Nope. Apparently this is why grown up individuals pay better attention to the news. We should get some supplies on the way home in case our power goes out."
We're barely in the door of the apartment with the last of the hurricane supplies when the house phone rings. Hailey gives the caller I.D. a dirty look, so I know it's work calling. She goes in the other room to take the call, and I start unpacking the bags. We went a little overboard, but better to be prepared.
I have time to do one bag before Hailey comes back.
"I have to go to work. They apparently called a million times on my cell while we had our spa day."
"What's going on? Can I help?"
She shakes her head. "We're evacuating guests who can still get out of town and preparing those who can't. They've got most of the active employees. If they authorize standbys early on, I'll call you and see if you want to come in."
She opens her bottom desk drawer, pulls out her passport and some documents, and puts them in a plastic bag she gets out of the pantry. I watch with fascination. She's obviously done this before. I've never lived anywhere with hurricanes, so I'm at a loss for what to do. Give me a tornado, and I'm on it. But this kind of storm scares me.
"I'm going to pack a bag. The last one like this, I stayed on the resort for three days because the ferry couldn't run."
"Sheesh! How come?"
"Too much debris in the water."
My brain takes a second to process that. I’m getting more apprehensive by the minute.
"Look, be careful, Hail. Text me updates on where you are when you can so I know you're okay."
"You, too." She gives me a quick hug and heads toward her room. She stops just outside the door. "Hey, Nikki? Once the storm makes landfall, don't drive anywhere, okay? Just stay here."
"I won't go anywhere."
She steps back into the living room. "I mean it, Nik. The storm surge comes on like a tsunami. You've seen pictures, but the flooding happens so fast and people get trapped in their cars. Just say here and eat all the cold canned ravioli and peanut butter."
When Hailey leaves, I dive for the remote. I hadn't wanted her to see how freaked out I was about the storm. She was anxious enough for the both of us.
But I am scared. I've never been through this, so I'm not sure what to expect.
I take out my phone to send a text to my mom and let her know we’re stocked up on supplies. I have a missed text from Barton.
I need an update. Getting impatient.
Barton is not helping my stress level.
I watch the news obsessively for about thirty minutes and then decide that I'm making myself more anxious than I need to be. I choose a movie and am about to press play when my phone rings. It's Xavier.
"How are you, gorgeous?"
"You want the honest answer even though it makes me sound ridiculous?" I pace back and forth in the room, debating whether to put the news back on.
He laughs. "Definitely. I love it when you're awkward and embarrassed."
"I'm seriously freaked out about the storm, Xavier."
"Good, then you won't object to escaping with me for a little tropical vacation."
My brain sticks on the "good", so it takes me a second to catc
h up. "Wait, what? Where?"
"The Cayman Islands. I need to go for business, and I want you to come with me. While I'm in meetings, you can soak up some sun and read or go to the spa. We'll dance every night under the stars. I can even teach you to dive if you want. Paradise on Earth."
He didn't mention the trip yesterday, so where is all this coming from? We haven't spent a weekend together, much less a vacation, so why is he asking me to go?
I beat myself up a bit for thinking the worst. I was in a good place about us not five minutes ago. Now I'm seeing conspiracies again? Stop it, Nikki.
"What about the hurricane?"
"We'll be flying around it. It will take a little longer to get there, but we'll avoid the storm. While Miami gets battered by rain and wind, we'll be sipping Mai Tais with our toes in the sand."
"Mai Tais? Sounds like you've got this all planned out."
"It's my job to have things planned out. I can't disappoint my clients just because a little storm is heading our way, and I thought it would be nice to have you with me. Especially if you're wearing a bikini the majority of the time."
My brain has been processing thoughts in the background, and it occurs to me that the Caymans are where I've heard people launder money. Is that what he's doing? A couple traveling on a beach vacation is a lot less suspicious than a man traveling alone on business.
I'm lost in my thoughts until I hear my name.
"Sorry, you broke up for a bit. You said something about a bikini?"
"Definitely. Pack a few. A couple dinner outfits, some shorts. Whatever else you need, you can charge to the room. They have some great shops there."
I feel overwhelmed and like I can't breathe well. He's talking so fast and this came about so suddenly… is he running? Does he know he's being investigated by the DEA? It makes sense.
"How long will we be gone?"
"A week maybe? A little longer? I can always send you home early if you need to go." He must cover the phone because I hear muted conversation but can't make it out. "I have to get back to work for a bit. Pack up and meet me at the villa in a couple hours. We'll head out together once I'm finished closing this deal. You remember where the key is."