Katz had not come since on the airplane to Switzerland. He had thought about Katz, argued with him, even been insulted by him like about the cops in Westport. But that was all daytime. All in his head. “Last time I saw you was on the plane, you got all out of joint about Elena. Then next thing I know you're bothering Susan when she's in that hospital. Anyway, where you been?”
“I don't know. I forget. ”
“I could have figured.”
“They why'd you ask?”.
Lesko jabbed a finger at him. “You know why you don't know? It's because you're not real. If someone's not dreaming about you, there isn't any you.”
Katz looked down at his hands and body. He lifted one shoe and looked at that. “I'm real, “he said, his voice small.
“You're not real because you're dead.”
“You really get your jollies out of saying that, don't you, Lesko? Anyway, so what? I'm here, right?”
“The point is I don't want you here. I don't want you talking to Susan anymore and I sure as hell don't want you walking in on me and Elena.” Lesko gestured toward her sleeping body. Katz followed his eyes.
“What are you talking about?” Katz asked.
Lesko looked again at Elena's form. Something was wrong. It was too small, even for her. He reached to touch her. She was gone. Only some bunched-up blankets.
“You were dreaming it, weren't you? ”Katz's expression was smug.
Lesko didn't answer. Absently, sadly, he stroked the bedding smooth.
”l got news for you, Lesko. Dreaming is about the only way you'll ever get her in the sack because you’re such a nasty son of a bitch.”
Lesko tried to think. Yeah. Katz was right. She was still in that hospital. Starting therapy. He had called once but he hung up before they put him through.
She'd asked him to call. Even to come over. Maybe she meant it. Except she was all drugged up at the time. She probably doesn't even remember.
And let me ask you something else ” Katz said gleefully. “How come you dream about her and she's real but when you dream about me I'm not real?”
“Because when I get up to punch your face in, you're going to be gone, that's why.”
“You think that doesn't come in handy?”
Lesko let his body sag. “Look, David. . . .``
“You missed me, didn't you?'' Katz said more softly.
“No.”
“Because I'm all you got.”
“Bullshit.”
“You know sooner or later Susan's going back with Bannerman. And you know nothings ever going to happen with Elena, because you're such a schmuck with women. I'm all you got.”
“I'd kill myself.”
“Hey, yeah,” Katz brightened. “Then you and me could…”
“I changed my mind.”
“Lesko?”
“What?”
“What's so bad about this?'' The voice became small again. “Talking to yourself is better?”
“What's bad is it's crazy, David. It makes me worry if I'm crazy, too.”
“For a while there you were talking to me like always. Asking me what I thought about things. ”
“See what I mean?” Lesko drew up his knees. “David, I'm getting up now.”
“I got prune Danish today.” The voice was more distant. “You like them, right?”
“Now I'm pulling back the covers.”
“I'm not mad at Elena anymore.” It was fading.
“Good.”
Good.
Lesko sat on the edge of his bed in the dark. And the chill. And the quiet. No sound but the hum of trucks on Queens Boulevard. A loneliness settled over him like a wet fog.
Maybe Katz was right. Maybe he was better than nothing. And he was probably right about Susan and Bannerman. And Elena. Goddamned David. If he's going to hang around he could at least be a little encouraging sometimes.
Elena.
Yeah. Sure he's right.
The closest he'll ever come to being in bed with her already came. In her hospital room. Sitting on the edge. All the while holding this dumb Christmas plant. Which he gives her in January. Very suave, Lesko.
“Such a rough man,” she said then. “Such a tender man. Come to Switzerland, Lesko. There are no ghosts here. ”
He didn't make that up. She said it. Even if she forgot, he could always call her up and say, listen, I was in the neighborhood because your uncle asked me to visit and I wondered maybe we could grab a schnitzel or something.
Who's he kidding?
“Lesko. ” Katz's voice. Yelling from the kitchen. “For Christ's sake. Go for it, already. Pick up the damned phone and call her. ”
“Yeah. She'd love that, you jerk. Hearing my voice at four o'clock in the morning.”
“Schmuck! What time is it there?”
“Oh yeah.” Lesko looked at the clock. Ten after four here. Ten after ten there. Maybe four in the morning has its benefits.
“Go on. I have to dial it for you?”
“Hey. What's with you all of a sudden?”
“I hate it when you mope. It's boring. Besides, this I gotta hear. ”
No ghosts there, she said.
Who says she's wrong?
Lesko reached for the phone.
END
The Bannerman Solution (The Bannerman Series) Page 51