I could bite it tomorrow and die completely happy, just knowing the last man I fucked was not Terry. Crude, but it’s what I have right now, and just knowing I could have more makes me feel better than I’ve been in a while.
***
“Come on, sleepy head, wake up.”
I shake sleep away with an effort and sit up just as Lex pulls onto a long dirt road that leads to almost invisible gates and electric fencing that isn’t visible until up close. I’m not at all surprised when we roll higher up the potholed dirt track and into a world on its own.
I mean, damn ….
Everywhere I look seems magical as we roll into a clearing that reveals wide, far-stretching green lawns, trees off to the sides, and a house that is just …
“Wow!” I gasp, spellbound at the sight in front of my wide eyes.
Storm’s home is a two-story structure that seems to blend into the surroundings the way a log cabin does, but it’s in no way rustic or poor-looking at all.
No, what he’s managed to create here is an oasis, a perfect dream castle tucked away in the middle of nowhere, close enough to town to be considered part of the place, but remote enough that it’s just idyllic. The perfect getaway from life.
To say that I fell in love with the place is an understatement. I still can’t utter a peep when we stop and he pulls me out of the car, his chuckle and Lex’s laugh not breaking the spell I’m under.
This may sound fanciful, and I wouldn’t blame you one bit for assuming so, but I feel like this is the exact picture I’ve had in my head since I was a little girl dreaming about what my life would be like when I was old enough to get it all.
All that seems to be missing is the dog, the three-legged cat, and the brood of cowlick-sporting varmints running around and nipping at my ankles. How tragic is it that they suddenly develop faces and all look like a certain brown-eyed giant?
“You like it.”
It’s not a question, so I don’t bother to answer as he seems to swell with pride and smiles down at my wide-eyed gaze.
“Dude, I think she just had an O moment,” Lex says with a laugh, making me scowl.
“Dick. I was having a moment with my one true love. Shut up and get over yourself, ’kay? Damn, Storm. This place is great.”
“Thanks. I like to think so, but some folks do not appreciate living so far off the grid.”
“Well, they’re nuts,” I mutter, letting him take my hand and pull me up the steps and onto the wide, wrap-around porch. “If you tell me you have a white and blue kitchen, I will so shit my pants.”
“Whoa! One time was enough,” Lex groans, stepping away quickly.
Seriously, one tiny girl fart and he’s scarred for life? What a wuss.
Storm just laughs and keys in a code before unlocking the door and repeating the process inside. By the time I hesitantly step inside, I’m almost too afraid to look and see my every single wish come true.
Okay, I’m a little let down by the man cave he calls an open-plan living room, I will not lie, but I do gasp and freeze on the spot when I peep in further and see the kitchen, gleaming and perfect in all its white, blue, and chrome glory.
Oh Mama, I think I just landed in heaven, Valhalla, and whatever the hell else you call paradise. And that’s just the downstairs! I still have to go up the wide staircase that opens on a landing that leads to one, two … four bedrooms!
Oh God, have mercy, please. Let me wake up now, I think, as I swallow down true fear, like I-am-so-in-trouble fear. My house, my plan, my whole dream fantasy that I’ve been ruthlessly beating to a pulp, is all here in living color. Four bedrooms, three for the three children I want to have. No bathroom doors, because any self-respecting man knows that it should be en suite, and every person should have their own to avoid embarrassing stinky moments when not even your loved ones should encounter the beast living inside you.
I need to lie down and take a minute here. I need to maybe run like hell. I need to …
“I need a drink.”
Chapter Nine
Nick
I can see the delight and trepidation in her eyes as I lead her into the kitchen and seat her at the breakfast nook, my own heart slamming behind my ribs when she seems so dazed she can barely take in the surroundings without a gasp or a hand to her mouth that signals her shock and, I hope, love for this place that I intend to make her home.
On the ride over here, after driving six hours in the wrong direction to lose any tails and then doubling back, I watched her sleep and realized one very telling thing.
I’d be more than pissed if this woman died. I’d be, I hesitate to say, broken because, yeah, it scares me to think that I’ve let my guard slip so much she’s already wiggled her way in there, but I will say that I would never be the same again. And that, in and of itself, tells me that she means so much more to me than a client, a quick fuck, or even a girl I’ve come to like.
What I felt for her in those quiet moments, as I listened to Lex ramble and made plans to get us safe and situated, is something that I don’t want to define yet. What I need now is time to get things settled so that we can just relax a little and let things fall into place.
There’s no denying the attraction that’s between us. I feel her looking at me as if it’s a physical caress over my skin, and I want her enough that I’m willing to ignore my lust for this first little while as she settles and stops feeling as if her very life is about to end.
One thing I never want is for Lenny to come to me while fear rides her. I want what we have together to be the result of her truly wanting me, as opposed to her not wanting to miss out just in case she doesn’t make it.
For that reason, and that reason alone, I’m going to go against my every instinct and put her in a guest room for the next few days and pray that she accepts whatever it is between us and comes to me out of want, instead of out of fear and desperation.
“I’m going to make us a few of those crappy frozen pizzas I keep just in case of a late-night arrival and we can go shopping tomorrow. That okay, sugar?”
Her non-verbal “sure” makes me chuckle, and I putter around throwing it together while pulling out sweet tea and nibbles as Lex saunters in, his bare chest making my eye twitch.
“Shit. I changed my mind, Storm. This place is awesome! Who the hell puts a hot tub in the guest bathroom?”
Me. Because I plan to raise my kids here and want to enjoy many sheltered days with my wife and brood without need of outside entertainment. Plus, the shits were on sale the week I was doing the bathrooms and if not, why not, huh.
“Shut the hell up and get Coleman to talk to you, asshole. She’s still in a daze over there,” I grunt, praying for his sake that she doesn’t notice his bare chest and rippling abs, lest I need to scar him up some for daring to tempt what is mine.
Lex just grins and sets about chatting in a rambling, nonsensical way until I hear Lenny giggle and snort out a laugh that is all kinds of amused and sarcastic.
“Oh please. That is shit covered in sugar, if ever I heard it. Hey, Storm, did this ape tell you he had a four-way with two of the famous Lawson sisters and that other blonde little thing that used to be country but went pop? Oh, what is her name? Dang it, it don’t matter, because I will never believe you anyhow, Lex.”
I laugh as he starts protesting and digging himself deeper, his pleading looks making my body shake when Lenny looks up at me and I shake my head.
“Oh, come on!”
It tickles me that she keeps ribbing him and not a damn thing he says can convince her of the truth of it, which, by the by, is totally true. I was there when he picked them up at a charity thing we were working, and I got to be outside the door when the ass set about proving his “sugar tongue” nickname true.
I’m still vaguely jealous, not about the foursome, that’s just way too much work for a good ol’ boy like me, but aggravated that I lost a hundred bucks and had to confirm that he does, indeed, have what it takes to satisfy three wo
men at the same time.
What a braggart.
“Storm, don’t be a chump, man. Tell her you were there.”
I watch Lenny’s eyes narrow to slits and make a call for the betterment of my future and them kids I’m hankering to have with her and just shake my head in mock disgust.
“Brother, now why in the hell would I stand outside a door and listen to you and three women screwing? That’s just wrong.”
His eyes go wide as saucers, and I see his smirk when he realizes the road he’s walking and trying to drag me down.
“Whatever, you asshole. Anyway, Len, you all done crying now that we’re here? Or should we point you toward another bathroom.”
She gasps, and I hear a loud slap and Lex’s curse before she huffs and falls back into the booth with a snarl.
“Screw you, ballhead. I’m a girl. I freaking cry. Excuse me for having a vagina. What’s your excuse?”
“Hey, now. I have a dick. I don’t bawl like a baby.”
That sets her off. I should have known my little tigress would be fierce, and I stand back and laugh my ass off when she lunges at him, grabs his nipples, and twists with a shriek.
“Say sorry!”
“Ow! Dammit, Lenny, that fucking hurts!” he yells, trying to twist away.
Lenny just holds on and goes for gold as he falls back and starts yelling his apologies. By the time she lets go, Lex is all but crying, and Lenny’s preening like the queen she is.
“You were saying, cry baby?”
“Christ. Ouch. You on the rag or something?” he groans, covering his nipples with a groan.
“Shut up, baby. And go put a damn shirt on, you scrawny runt,” she mutters, blowing me a kiss as I shake my head and grab the pizzas.
We’re all laughing again, this time with Lex sitting far away from her, me in between them as she tells us about her childhood, her one-eyed, semi-blind cat that ran into the pool and drowned.
That story is sad but kinda funny, as she relates the funeral she threw for Buccaneer and the eulogy she made her mama and Pete give, no matter the fact that they popped a bottle of the bubbly when the scratching pest went to his demise.
The conversation lasts only as long as it takes to sate our hunger and for Lenny to start yawning, but I feel like I know her a lot better as I leave Lex to clear up and sweep Lenny up to her room.
“Hey, Storm. You know how you were kinda flirting with me earlier today?” she asks, as I lean down and lower her to the bed, stumbling away to buy time as I grab water and her pain meds from my bag.
I’m still sweating as I walk back in to see her sitting up, dressed in only panties, this pair slightly less threadbare and more revealing, and her t-shirt, sans bra.
“Storm?”
“Coleman, take your pills and get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day, sugar, and a new start, yeah?” I mutter, watching her eyes dim a little as she takes the meds and leans back.
“I wanted to say, earlier when we were in that bathroom, that I regret a lot of things I’ve done or missed out on so far because of what happened in my previous relationship.”
Fuck. I do not want to talk about this now, mostly because whatever I say will be misconstrued as a rejection that she’s too fragile to understand fully.
I also can’t say anything too leading because, like I said, I want her on my terms and to do that I need to get her into the right headspace, not thrashing around and reaching for the first thing that looks good.
“Coleman, I know you’re emotional right now and might say some stuff you’ll just regret. I don’t want that for you and me, so please, just get some sleep and we can talk in the morning, okay?”
I don’t pause to see her expression or to second guess myself; I just walk out and close the door without looking back.
Dammit. Great, Storm, just freaking fantastic. Why didn’t you just kick the poor woman in the teeth? I mutter as I make my way downstairs to find Lex stretched out in the living room watching sports.
“Dude, you are an epic failure on the man scale if you just ignored all the signals she’s been throwing at you all night.”
“Shut up, shithead. I don’t want to take advantage of her, is all,” I mutter, slapping his feet away to make room for myself.
“Storm, you are an ass.”
“An honorable ass. Look, she had a shitty relationship before and has spent the last four years ignoring her dreams to punish herself for her mistakes. I don’t want to be the first thing she grabs hold of when she’s feeling vulnerable, okay?”
That gives him pause, and I see him grin with glee before he whoops.
“Good God Almighty, please do not tell me the Mighty Nicholas Storm is finally falling. I need to Facebook this shit!”
“Fuck off.”
“Come on, bro! It’s taken you, what, three years to look at a woman and not think of that whore bitch Rachel? I never thought I would see the day, man! Congratulations for finally pulling your head out of your ass. And even better that you’re coming out of your celibate shit for a woman like Len…although, damn, bro. Feed that chick more fiber or something…because she’s unhealthy inside,” he mutters, grinning like an ass.
I laugh a little at that because, darn it, the man is right, she needs a healthier diet. But I also take to heart his words and decide to go deeper than I’m comfortable with.
“You think she’s ready for me, even with this crap going on?”
Lex shakes his head at me in pity and rolls his eyes.
“Storm, man, I saw those looks she was giving you. And Jericho said she almost took her girls out when they tried to paw you. That’s lust at first sight, man, and with a softie like Lenny, that can only mean she’s measured you and found you worthy for more. Trust me, dude, no chick who goes four years without stuffin’ the muffin would just pick the first guy who looked good. Whatever you two have going on is guaranteed to be more than just fucking.”
Dammit, I was hoping he wouldn’t say that since I already regretted rejecting her clumsy advances the moment I closed the bedroom door.
I groan and fall back into the sofa with a curse as my stupidity hits me.
“She tried to tell me earlier, and I just blew her off and walked out.”
“Oh, man. Bad move, Storm, bad move. Nothing says torture like a hot woman who doesn’t know she’s not being rejected by a man she’s hot for. Hooboy, am I glad I’m not into all this love crap.”
“Fucker. Dammit. I gotta go.”
I take the stairs at a run and freeze at her door, nervous as hell as I grasp the handle and push it open. I’m all set and ready to apologize, beg her forgiveness, and make the offer to ride her like a bull in rut, as I stride into the darkened room only to see her curled up and drooling into the pillow. Shit!
The woman can go into a coma on fucking demand, it seems.
I want to shake her awake and make her listen to me get this all out before I chicken out again, but instead I back away and leave her sleeping, hoping that tomorrow will bring clarity and hopefully the beginning of what we both need.
***
Lenny
I wake with a crying headache and a belly full of bitterness the next morning, just as the sun starts rising and turning everything into that weird grey hue that signals a weird twilight-like time.
I love this time of day because, to me, it’s so magical. That time just before the old is swept away by the new. It reminds me of when butterflies are ready to emerge from their cocoons for the first time, no longer ugly, fat, and nasty, but these beautiful creatures that are too perfect to really understand fully.
I also like this time because it was my dad’s favorite time of day. Mama used to tell me how he’d shake us awake when he was home on leave and make us watch it with him, almost as if he just couldn’t bear to see this magic without us.
More often than not, most days, I wake up just to see this time. No matter if I’ve hardly slept. But because I crave this closeness with a man I lost before I r
eally even had him, but also because it sort of reminds me to never give up, to never stop dreaming and reaching for more.
I guess I haven’t been paying all that much attention, though I find it more than a little amusing that my psyche was trying to tell me something that I was just too stubborn to understand.
I get it now, and ain’t that just hilarious, seeing as I’m finally dreaming now, after years of forced ignorance, only to have my first foray rejected.
I’m angry, and dammit, I deserve to be, as I close my eyes and force myself to replay the whole pathetic episode, taking sadistic note of every pained look and his refusal to meet my eyes.
I feel like a complete ass as I lie back and accept the stark, cold truth. Storm may just be a flirt, a man who charms all women but never delivers. And I’m the loser who saw something in him that just wasn’t there.
Good going, Lenny. Just great. Way to make the next few days of our lives totally awkward and uncomfortable, I mutter, shoving at the covers to shuffle to the bathroom.
This morning’s pee fiasco is ironically silent now that I have no fear of being overheard, and I scowl at my bowels with a fury that is counterproductive at best. By the time I’ve showered and brushed my teeth with the brand new toothbrush I scrounged from under the sink, I’ve resolved to make things work for the short term.
So what if I screwed up and read those signals all wrong? I can totally just ignore them and pretend like it never happened. I’ve been doing that for years, right? So why not now. Besides, Storm is right, no matter how badly I want to kick him in the balls.
I’m a job. A. JOB.
I shouldn’t be constructing these fantasies in my head just because I had a scare and went into cave girl mode. So what if my ovaries started yelling in protest and demanding use before I eat a bullet.
Anyway, I’m all planned up and ready to face the embarrassment that is now my life, as I walk out of the bathroom and start rooting around for something to wear. I find an old t-shirt that has a very unlikely-placed hole and scowl at my nipple as it peeps up at me, mocking me with every furled inch.
THE WATCHERS: 6 Military Romance Bundle Page 8