I move my tongue down toward his shaft, licking it all over. Bennett’s face is buried in my pussy now. He is licking me eagerly. It makes it hard to focus on his dick but I still lick it. I am going to tease him now.
He moves his hips a little, as if he is trying to get me to wrap my mouth around his dick. Still I refuse to. Instead, I lick the head of his cock. My tongue darts around it and down the shaft.
Bennett’s mouth sucks gently on my clit. The pleasure is so intense that I let out a loud moan. He moves away from my clit and goes back to moving his tongue around my pussy.
Unable to hold back anymore, I engulf his rod with my mouth. Bennett lets out a muffled moan as I take him in my mouth. I roll my tongue around his cock as I bob my head up and down. He is so thick that my mouth is stuffed. I moan around his cock as his tongue flicks against my clit.
I take as much of his dick in my mouth as I can. I love how warm it feels in my mouth. I love how much it fills me. My hips buck as I near my orgasm. But then Bennett pulls his mouth away.
“Not yet,” he orders me.
I slide his cock out of my mouth, “I love sucking you though.” I protest feebly.
Bennett laughs a little as he moves me off of him and climbs on top of me, “Next time you can suck me all you want.”
Before I can say anything, he opens my legs and thrusts his cock inside of me. I moan in surprise as his thick cock fills me up. He doesn’t waste any time. He fucks me furiously, hard and fast, as I cling to him.
Having been brought already so close to orgasm, I can barely hold back. My nails dig in his back as he fucks me, thrusting hard. Together, we are moaning, our minds blank as we move in unison.
“I’m going to—” I gasp.
This only makes Bennett fuck me harder. I can no longer hold back. I shudder and my orgasm rolls through me. It is so strong that it overtakes all my senses. I can feel Bennett climaxing as well. Together we orgasm as our bodies shudder and quake together.
We collapse in a heap and fall silent, trying to catch our breath. Our hands are entwined as we lay there for a while.
***
In the afterglow of sex, Bennett props himself up and looks at me. I like the way he looks after we do it. His hair is messy and his body is covered in a thin layer of sweat. He looks somehow even more handsome when he is unkempt.
“So, like I said earlier… prelude to my risk…,” he says in his low voice which still is turning me on even now.
“That’s right,” I say, “I completely forgot.”
I turn to look at him. He reaches out for me, trailing his hand down my arm before grabbing my hand. He looks serious now and I wonder what in the world he is about to say.
“I want us to see where this goes,” Bennett finally says. “The two of us, I mean.”
I am surprised. It must show on my face because he lets go of my hand. I quickly grab his again, refusing to let him go.
“You want us to see if we can… what… date?” I ask, wanting to make sure we are on the same page.
“That’s right.”
“Why do you see this as a risk?” I ask him curiously.
“We are so different now. Our lives, I mean. I know you said before that’s why it couldn’t work. We are too different and our lives are on separate paths. Maybe you’re right. But what if we have this connection we just found out too late? Maybe we should try it out.”
“And the risk is that we are so different?”
Bennett nods, kissing my fingertips gently. “That’s right.”
My mind tries to digest this. Of course I want to date Bennett. It is clear that we have a connection not easily given up. Our childish habit of tormenting each other has turned into sex and conversation, something I never had imagined from Bennett. No matter how much I try to put him out of my mind, it doesn’t seem to work.
So why not go for it? My entire life isn’t going the way I planned. Why not try something that will make me happy? Dating Bennett is a risk. He’s right. But it could be one that we take together.
A surge of affection flows through me as I look at him. My resolve crumbles and I nod.
“I want to,” I tell him.
He looks surprised and then pleased, “Really?”
“Yeah. I know I said that this is wrong and it won’t work out but… you’re right. Taking risks – this would count as one. Let’s see where it goes.”
He smiles at me and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach kick up. He pulls me toward him and we kiss. This time it is tender. I don’t know how we will make this work and if it is a risk that is going to fail. But I know that I cannot deny what I have secretly known for ages – I have fallen hard for Bennett.
Chapter Five
In the morning, I wake up with Bennett’s arms around me. At first, I forget where I am. It takes me a few moments of looking around to remember I am at his new apartment. I look back at him. He is fast asleep.
In the silence of the morning, I watch him sleep. He looks peaceful. There is no sign of the man who seems to be unsure of where to go next in his life. I know Bennett wants to impress his father. I don’t blame him. Who doesn’t want to make sure their parents are proud of them?
But I can’t quite figure Kevin out. Is he showing his faith in Bennett now because his plans with buying up Stephanie’s company are on hold? Does it not matter now that Bennett didn’t want to date her just to make everyone involved look good? I suppose Kevin picks and chooses his battles carefully. With the purchase of my dad’s company, whatever Stephanie’s father was offering isn’t as important anymore.
I gently trace the outline of Bennett’s jaw and up to his cheek, brushing it gently with my thumb. I can’t shake the feeling that Kevin isn’t who I thought he was. But Bennett isn’t either. The two both have secrets. The difference is that Kevin’s seem to be dark and unreachable while Bennett’s secrets just add more and more layers to him.
Bennett stirs from feeling my hand on his cheek and I pull it away. It is strange to be here with him now, at peace for the first time since my dad died. The future seems so unsure. When I left my family’s business, I thought it would be an easy thing. Yet I keep being pulled back in. Perhaps someone can never really leave their family. Perhaps we will always be pulled back in.
Bennett’s eyes open now, looking groggy, yet he smiles when he sees me. “You’re here.”
“Where else would I be?” I say lightly.
“I thought you might have left.”
“Why?”
“I just assumed you’d have second thoughts about us dating,” Bennett admits, sitting up a little now.
I shake my head, “No. I mean… I’m nervous. But you’re right. It’s a risk.”
“Want to shower with me? Or is that too risky?” he teases.
I agree and before I know it, we are in his shower. The shower is big enough to fit five people. It is a rain shower and the water is so hot that steam instantly fills up the bathroom. It doesn’t take long for me to be pinned against the shower wall with Bennett kissing me. His hands go up and down my hips as we kiss. I can feel how hard his cock is against my leg.
Bennett shifts so his face is buried in my neck. The hot water plus the sensation of his lips on my neck are delightful. I close my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy how good it feels. His hands travel down my body and then he hesitates. It is enough to make me look up at him.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.” Then he says, “I was looking at your scar.”
Feeling self-conscious, I suddenly wish that I could hide. It must show on my face because Bennett quickly shakes his head.
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Sorry. It came out wrong. I just can’t imagine what it was like.” He shakes his head, “I’m sorry. Why am I bringing this up now? Stupid of me.”
“No, it’s okay,” I tell him, reaching out for him before he can move away from me, “I’m just not used to talking about it. That’s all.”
“You don�
��t have to. I shouldn’t have even brought it up,” Bennett repeats.
I look down at my leg. My scar is still there, unchanged. It will never change. It will always be there, a reminder of when my relationship with Spencer went off the rails.
“Bennett…” I say, suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to tell him about that night. “What do you know about my accident?”
He looks puzzled. “Just that the car crashed and you almost lost your leg. Luckily, they saved it and you were in recovery for a while.”
“There’s something you don’t know about that night,” I tell him and then I look him in the eyes.
***
Bennett slides a cup of coffee and some creamer over to me. From the shower to this moment in the kitchen, I tell him everything about that night of the accident. Bennett makes his own cup of coffee silently. He is quiet throughout the entire story. When I finish, he runs his fingers through his hair.
“I can’t see why your sister would do something like that,” he finally says when I finish.
“Me neither.” Something about Bennett’s statement strikes me as odd. “Hey… you don’t think – there’s no way…”
“What?”
“That Spencer was fooling around with… your dad, right? I mean, she told me she was fooling around with a married man, after all.”
“My dad?” he says to me. “No fucking way.”
“I just thought since he was mentoring her…”
“No way,” Bennett replies, this time more firmly. “Dad is a lot of things but he wouldn’t cheat on my mom. Especially with someone that much younger.”
“Yeah. You’re right,” I reply, adding some creamer to my coffee. “Just a thought, I guess. I don’t know who else it could be.”
Bennett is right but for the wrong reasons. I could see Kevin cheating. I could see him easily finding a younger woman to fool around with. It is Spencer that I can’t see sleeping with Kevin. No, I just can’t picture her sleeping with her mentor. It would make things too messy for her. Not to mention that she had been overseas for a while. Who could she have been seeing so quickly upon getting back?
“But to move you after the accident and refuse to tell you why she had to lie… that’s just weird,” Bennett says, his back to me.
“I can’t figure it out. She refuses to tell me. And now that I promised Dad that we would make up, it feels even more important to figure out what happened that night, you know? But Spencer refuses to tell me. I still don’t know who she could be seeing. I mean she spent those six months abroad or whatever for college. But it didn’t sound like she was seeing anyone during the time she was overseas.”
“I don’t know,” Bennett says quickly. “Weird.” He looks at his phone. “Shit. I didn’t realize it was so late in the morning. I have to get going. I told Dad I’d meet him for lunch today.”
“Oh, okay. I should head out anyway. I have a client to meet up with tonight so I should get prepared.”
Bennett nods and I suddenly feel as if I don’t even have time to drink my coffee. Leaving it virtually untouched, I grab my things and head to the front door. Bennett walks me there and kisses me deeply before I leave.
His front door closes behind me. I am left alone with my thoughts.
***
When I get home, my small apartment is empty. I wonder where Emily is and if she is at work. I peek into her room to make sure she isn’t there asleep but she is gone. I have been so busy with work and not wanting to think about Dad, that we haven’t really spoken since the wake. I’m sure she is curious to know more details about me and Bennett.
As I make myself lunch, I wonder as well about what is happening between me and Bennett. What will dating him be like? Am I willing to push aside the concerns I have about our different lifestyles and paths to be with him? Ultimately, I am afraid of growing attached to him and things not working out.
He obviously wants to please his father. What will Kevin think about his son dating me? I imagine he will be furious. He wants Bennett to date or be with someone who will help the company. I offer no such connections. Would Bennett stick up to his father to be with me?
I tell myself that I am getting ahead of myself. I always tend to. There is no need to think about things like that when they haven’t happened yet. I will only stress myself out. Right now, that is the last thing I need.
***
Emily still hasn’t shown up at home. I grow concerned because she still isn’t here by the time I get back from dinner with a client. I send her another text, hoping to hear from her but there is no reply. I call and leave her a voicemail.
I grow paranoid as the hours pass. I hope she is okay. With my father’s loss still so fresh in my mind, I worry something bad has happened to her. By the time I fall asleep, it is late.
***
Another dream begins. This time, I am at the party the night of the accident. Matt is in the corner of the room, talking to someone. I feel alone and angry that Matt and I have fought earlier. I want to leave but don’t want to talk to Matt. I decide to call Spencer. I know she has been sick lately but I still want to ask for her help. Surely, she can come get me or something.
I step out of the house and hesitate to call her. On top of being sick, she has been jetlagged. She had spent about six months abroad for college and only just came home recently. I am worried that she won’t come to get me.
I call her anyway. She answers on the third ring, sounding tired. I quickly explain to her that I fought with Matt and was wondering if she could pick me up.
Spencer hesitates and then says, “I’m actually in Tusona right now.”
“You’re in town?” I say, flabbergasted.
“Yeah,” she sounds unsure now. “I could come get you. But I’m finishing up something.”
The odds of Spencer being in Tusona right now are crazy but I am so eager to get away from Matt that I barely give it a second thought.
“I’m going to be at a diner down the street from here,” I tell her, giving her the name. “I’ll wait for you there.”
There is a sudden cry on the other line. In my dream, it is magnified. It fills up my head and rockets around in it.
“What is that?”
“Nothing. I’m outside. People are around,” Spencer says quickly and then promises to get me soon.
I hang up the phone, making sure I have everything and begin to walk toward the diner. In the dream, the weather is changing again. It is snowing, making a heavy blanket all around me. People that I walk by suddenly have no faces. They are blank. No eyes, noses or mouths on any of them. It is disturbing and I walk faster.
By the time I get to the diner, there is no need to wait. Spencer is already there, waiting for me.
“Hurry up,” she says, looking tired and impatient. “I can’t stick around.”
“Why are you even here?” I ask her.
She looks acutely uncomfortable, “I’m seeing someone.”
“Here?”
“He’s married.” When she sees my face, she rolls her eyes. “Just – come on. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Spencer seeing a married man – shocking and scandalous, even for her. My sister never did anything bad. I want to lecture her but even I am too tired and drained from my crumbling relationship from Matt to hound her about it.
We get in the car and suddenly the dream is slipping through my fingers.
Chapter Six
I am woken up suddenly by someone knocking on the door. For a brief second, I wonder if it is the middle of the night again. But my clock shows me that it is the early morning. I rub my eyes, trying to wipe the dream from my mind. Maybe Emily is at the door. Maybe she forgot her key.
I quickly get up to answer the front door and open it without checking who it is. Bennett stands there. I am surprised to see him and realize I also look like a mess. He is holding a paper bag and a tray with two coffees.
“Hey. Sorry. Did I wake you again? I should probably call before I
come over here. I thought it’d be cute. I haven’t done this before. It works in movies,” he rambles quickly, looking embarrassed.
“No, it’s fine,” I say quickly, allowing him in. “I look awful.”
“You look great. You look cute.”
I smile at him and take the coffees from him. Together we go to the kitchen. I can’t remember Matt ever surprising me like this. It is touching that he has come by like this, especially after how quickly things ended the last time we hung out. I put down the coffees and dart into the bathroom. I brush my teeth, comb my hair and manage to change into clothes that look a bit nicer.
By the time I come back out to the kitchen, Bennett has put our breakfast sandwiches on plates and is sitting at the dining room table.
“Emily not here? I brought her one too,” he says, holding up an extra sandwich.
“No,” I reply. “I’m actually a little worried. I haven’t heard from her. I hope she isn’t doing anything dumb.”
“She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders.”
I sit down at the table, taking a sip of the coffee that Bennett handed me. “She usually does. Lately, however, things have been a little different. She’s literally all over the map. She’s back with Adam and I just feel like that’s a ticking time bomb.”
“It’s because she doesn’t know what she wants from life,” Bennett says.
“Well, not everyone has it planned out for them,” I counter, feeling oddly defensive about Emily. “So she’s just trying to find her way.”
“I know. Just wouldn’t want her to find it through a guy, you know?” Bennett replies, taking a bite of his sandwich.
My phone rings suddenly. I can hear it in the bedroom. Quickly, I get up and go to my room. I am relieved to see it is Emily calling me.
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask her when I pick up.
“Yeah, sorry,” she says. “I’m in Tusona.”
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