Silence

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Silence Page 18

by Mechtild Borrmann


  When Hanna stepped out of the house to milk the cows, early in the morning of August 13, 1950, Therese was sitting on a bench behind the house. It was barely possible to speak to her. She kept saying, “I hit him and killed him.” Hanna fetched her father, and Paul came too. It was almost an hour before Therese was able to give a more or less clear account of what had happened. Old Höver found out for the first time that Paul had seen Wilhelm and Theo Gerhard shoot Yuri. Paul stammered that he could not have known, at the time, that it was wrong. “There was a war on. Yuri was the enemy, after all,” he said.

  Höver struck Paul in the face, roaring that shooting unarmed enemies in the back was always wrong, even in wartime. Hanna was extremely worried that Therese might talk about her denunciation of Leonard too, but she did not mention it. Bit by bit, they learned that Wilhelm had come home, Therese had grabbed the poker and lashed out in the dark, and the iron had struck his companion, Friedhelm Lubisch. “Wilhelm’s gone,” she said. Her whole body was trembling, and she asked Hanna’s father to come with her to the police station. “I was going to go myself, straight away, but I’m afraid. Theo Gerhard will be there again, like when I was arrested,” she said, weeping.

  Hanna’s father asked Paul what Gerhard and Peters had done with Yuri’s body, but all Paul knew was that they had dragged him to the car. In a whisper, Therese told them how Yuri’s escape had come about, about Gerhard, who had shot a stranger, and her promise to marry Wilhelm. Old Höver sat in silence for a long time. His gaze wandered over the flat land, piercing hedges and fences, and landed on the horizon, where the first soft light of dawn was appearing. He stood up. “Enough deaths, enough misery,” he said curtly. “Who does it help if you go to prison now?” He and Paul went to the cottage. The well had half collapsed during the war and was no longer in use. They wrapped the stranger in a blanket, threw him down the well, filled it in, and demolished the visible part of the stonework.

  Hanna told her story fluently and almost without emotion. Occasionally she broke off, and a deep groove appeared between her eyebrows. Then she nodded briefly, as if confirming to herself what remained to be told. Her tone was steady, and Karl was certain she would not leave anything out, that she wanted to wipe the slate clean once and for all. “Therese stayed with us until Tuesday afternoon, and then she went to the police, as my father had told her, to report her husband missing. Theo Gerhard took over the investigation and, right from the start, accused Therese of having killed Wilhelm. He interrogated her for hours, shouting and threatening. At one point he whispered to her, ‘Seven years ago you got away with it, you whore, but now you’re going to get what you deserved back then.’ ”

  A week later, Therese came to the farm and said Gerhard had ordered that the whole site where the cottage stood be turned upside down. Old Höver went to the town hall, as he had when Fedir was beaten up. Paul went with him. When they came back, he said to Therese in his taciturn way, “Don’t worry about it.”

  The land was never searched. Gerhard maintained the outward appearance of the relentless investigator for a while, but he was cautious, and once Therese had gone, no more was heard from him.

  Hanna got up, stood by the window, and stared out. “That Gerhard, he’s still there. He gets a good pension and is a respectable citizen.” Karl thought about Gerhard’s blustering way of talking, the cognac in the morning, and the apartment he did not inhabit.

  He spoke to Hanna’s back. “Your father threatened to report him for shooting Yuri?” Hanna nodded. “In a sense, yes. I know from Paul that Father put the matter more simply. He just said, ‘You shot two prisoners of war in the back. I know it, you know it, and now you should let things lie.’ ”

  Karl offered her another coffee, but she stayed by the window and shook her head. He poured himself some more. “Have you been in contact with Therese Mende all along?” He saw Hanna start at the name. She said, “Yes, we’ve found out her current identity.”

  She turned to lean against the windowsill. “About two years after she left, a letter came from Frankfurt. She asked us to get her a copy of her birth certificate and take care of her parents’ grave. From then on, there were regular Christmas letters with money for the care of the grave. They came from London, Paris, Amsterdam, and God knows where else. But there was never a return address—there was always just Therese. She didn’t come and visit until just before Paul’s wife died. I wasn’t there. She came to the farm, and she was probably quite shocked at the way things looked. She offered to buy the cottage from Paul, but he had already leased it to the Albers woman because he was short of money. After that, she got in touch regularly. She tried to help Paul financially, but he was too proud, and probably he also felt guilty about her. At some point I mentioned that I could imagine setting up a boarding stable of some sort on the farm, and when Paul was widowed, she gave us the money to convert it and start the business.”

  Karl smiled. “The word here is that the money came from Paul’s wife’s life insurance.”

  Hanna laughed shortly. “We never said that, but you know what it’s like in the village. If there’s no official explanation, people just make one up. It suited us.”

  She looked down at the floor and fell silent. Karl stood beside her at the window. “Was there a condition attached to the money?” he asked softly.

  “No. No condition. When we began making money with the horses, I wanted to pay her back in installments. She wouldn’t accept it. These last years were the best for Paul and me, and then that Albers woman came and started stirring up the old stories.”

  Chapter 40

  April 25, 1998

  Robert Lubisch had drunk the second cognac. The remnants of the sun laid a purple path across the water, flaring up one last time. The perfect view struck him as inappropriate, and at the same time he felt the play of colors having a calming effect on his bewilderment. The cognac played its part too, burning in his throat and stomach and driving away the numbness in his body. Therese Mende fell silent, and there was a moment when he thought, She’s lying.

  But then his gaze returned to the photograph, and he admitted to himself that there was no doubt. He was Wilhelm Peters’s son. He remembered a trip one Christmas at the beginning of the nineties. The borders were open, and he and his wife, Maren, had offered his father a trip to Wrocław, the former Breslau, as a gift. His father had not seemed pleased, and in the end his mother had gone there with a friend, supposedly because he could not be spared from the firm. And even when the Association of Displaced Persons, on whose board he sat, organized trips to the old homeland, he had never gone. He had said that a visit like that would reopen old wounds.

  Luisa came and asked Therese Mende when and where she should serve dinner. Robert did not hear her answer. A short while later, Luisa brought wine and some water.

  Seagulls glided by weightlessly, their plumage tinged pink in the evening light.

  Therese told him about the help she received from the Hövers and about the well, and that she had left Kranenburg in December 1950.

  He asked, “Did you ever make contact with him again?”

  “No. I could probably have found him, but . . .” She hesitated. “I wanted to forget.” She looked directly at him. “For the first two years, I spent my life on a tightrope, constantly ensuring I left no trace. I did a variety of jobs in Frankfurt—seamstress, administrative assistant, telephone operator—but whenever my employers became impatient about receiving my papers, I had to leave again. Then Hanna got me my birth certificate and, at last, I had an identity. My new life began with that. I was Therese Pohl again, and I used my maiden name to erase Therese Peters.”

  Robert took a sip of wine. “And my father erased Wilhelm Peters when he took Friedhelm Lubisch’s papers.” He reflected that his father had left most of his fortune to the Association of Displaced Persons. Had he identified with Friedhelm Lubisch’s life as closely as that, or was it an atte
mpt at restitution?

  He thought about the big house, the statue of Diana in the garden, the grand parties. Everything about that life had always seemed to him too big and too loud—all of it false and overblown. And yet it had never occurred to him that the size and volume were there to hide something.

  Cautiously, he asked, “You said you had talked about it with your husband. Do you think you would have been able to keep it hidden from him forever?”

  Therese Mende did not answer for some time. Then she said quietly, “You’re asking whether your mother might have known, aren’t you?” He stood up, took a few steps, and sat down again.

  “Yes, perhaps that’s my question.”

  “I can’t answer it for you,” she said neutrally, and he was forcibly reminded of the dream in which his mother said to him, “You’re destroying his life’s work.” Then she had gone away, and he was standing on the thread of her shawl and the stitches came unraveled, exposing his mother’s back.

  He felt the shock fading, felt himself beginning to look the truth in the eye, noticed that, for the first time, he was thinking, My father, Wilhelm Peters.

  He stood up again and paced up and down. At length, he asked, “And Rita Albers? What happened to Rita Albers?”

  “She called me,” said Therese, and Robert noticed a change in tone. Her voice was steady; she had not had to cast back into the distant past. Now it was the businesswoman speaking, narrating the facts succinctly and precisely.

  “I knew from Paul Höver that she had a picture of me and was asking questions. She called me, and I threatened her over the phone, but it was clear to me that she wasn’t going to be stopped that way. I called a friend in Frankfurt, a lawyer, the same day and asked him to offer her money.”

  She paused, got up, and went to stand by the balustrade. “ ‘A big story,’ she had said, and that meant she wanted to sell it for a high price.”

  She went over to the table and picked up her glass of white wine. “My lawyer was unable to reach her, and the next day I heard from Hanna Höver that she had been found dead.” This too she said in the most matter-of-fact way. She twirled the glass in her hands, and the heavy wine slid viscously up the side of the glass, refracting the evening light. “Although I knew better, I hoped that would be the end of the story.” She looked at Robert Lubisch and smiled mirthlessly. “And then you came, and when I saw you, I knew the time had finally come. I’ll tell you frankly that I didn’t decide to tell you the truth about that night in the summer of 1950 until this morning.” She pointed at the leather wallet that contained the wedding photograph. “Even if I were to destroy it, what would happen if my daughter, like you, went on the hunt after my death? She assumes I grew up in the lower Rhine, that my parents died in the war, and that I married her father in 1956. She’s never been to Kranenburg, doesn’t question my past. What if she wants more detail one day? Whose truth will she get to hear?” She turned around and looked out to sea, where the line of the horizon now clearly separated the sky and the water. Robert Lubisch stood beside her. Quietly she said, “Do you think the truth would have been easier to bear if you had heard it from your father?”

  Time piled up on the tiled floor behind them; the day had definitively given up its place. Robert spoke toward the sea. His words dropped down the slope. “What hurts the most is that those intimate moments alone with him in his study, when he told me about his family, his escape, and his captivity, were among the best moments of my childhood.” He laughed bitterly. “It’s hard to accept that we were at our closest when he was lying to me.”

  Therese Mende listened to him attentively, watched the lights go on one by one in the hotels, restaurants, and bars, and tried to reassure herself with the thought that she had kept part of her life secret from her daughter, but had never presented her with a stranger’s life. Robert too was lost in thought. He felt tears coming into his eyes and drove them off by breathing hard. Then he said, “When my father died, I mourned him. Just now, I felt as if he were dying again, but that’s not true. He doesn’t exist. Even his tombstone is a lie now.”

  Chapter 41

  April 25, 1998

  Hanna had sat down in the chair in front of Karl van den Boom’s desk. Deep in thought, she was plucking at the big white bow at her breast, which seemed to bother her. She was not comfortable in her skirt either, and kept smoothing it down. Karl reflected that she looked as if she were in fancy dress.

  “First, that Albers woman came to the farm with the photo. She acted innocent, wanted to know what had become of Therese, if we knew anything about her. She had already been to old Heuer, claimed to have Therese’s name from him.”

  Karl rumbled his understanding, but did not say a word to interrupt Hanna. He thought about her sparing, monosyllabic way with words. Today, it seemed to him, she was using up a year’s worth of words.

  “I called Therese, told her she was sniffing about.” Her work-hardened hands were scuffing the finely woven fabric of her shawl, pulling little threads loose. She noticed and put her hands in her lap. Her eyes wandered restlessly over the desk. Then she stopped and looked at him. “On the television they always have some kind of recording machine. Don’t you need one?” Karl pursed his lips and shook his head. “You’ll have to say all this again to my colleagues in Kalkar,” he said evenly, and she looked at him suspiciously. “But I won’t do that,” she said decisively, her voice firm. He held up his hand soothingly. “I suggest you finish your story first, and then we’ll see what’s to be done.” Her broad forehead creased in a frown, and then she seemed to agree.

  “Good. So, I thought . . . they won’t get much out of us if we don’t say anything. What can they find anyway? But you get to thinking, don’t you, and . . .” Her hands seemed to be fighting each other in her lap. “Paul inherited the farm because . . . well, he was the son. He hadn’t had an easy life, and I . . . I had promised Father I would take care of the farm and Paul. But when Sofia came . . . we didn’t get along, and then I went away too. Sofia was no farmer, and Paul, he’s a hard worker, but he needs someone to tell him what to do. When the market for milk went down, everyone else switched over to pigs, and Paul just kept going, hoping it would get better someday. But it didn’t, and then he leased or sold the land. He didn’t think far enough ahead to realize he wouldn’t be able to grow feed for the cattle anymore and would have to buy it at a high price . . . He shouldn’t have been allowed to lease out the cottage, but Sofia didn’t understand why, and of course he couldn’t explain, so he just did it.” Hanna had tears in her eyes now. She picked up her handbag, which she had placed on the floor, and took out a carefully ironed handkerchief. Embarrassed, she wiped her eyes. Karl was moved to see the surly Hanna in such a vulnerable state. She lowered her head in embarrassment, avoiding his gaze.

  “I thought, if Paul has to go to jail because of what he and Father did with the stranger all that time ago . . . he won’t survive. Not him.” She sucked air into her lungs and, as she breathed out slowly, shook her head resignedly. “I thought perhaps we’d be spared that, but then Schoofs called, asking about the well. Then I knew she’d found out.” She unfolded the handkerchief and blew her nose loudly. “I couldn’t sleep that night. I got up around midnight and looked out of the window. There was still a light on in the cottage. I thought Paul had given her the lease on the place for a ridiculously low rent, and for thanks she was sending him to the slaughter. I was so furious.” She raised her head and stared past Karl at the wall, as if she might be able to find that evening there.

  She got dressed and left the farmhouse; she wanted to think it over in the fresh air, what was to be done now. Then she was on the path through the fields. It was pitch-dark. She stopped, searched for sentences, words with which she could stop Rita Albers, but what could she say? All she could think of were empty threats.

  Moving on, she stumbled over a tussock of grass, fell down, and was overcome by an into
lerable feeling of helplessness as she lay on the ground. From the road in the distance, the white light of a pair of headlights wandered across the night, and the sound of an engine died away. She struggled to her feet and went on, closer and closer to the brightly lit cottage, driven by a red heat within her that seemed to scream, Make her keep silent.

  She entered the property through the garden, saw that the terrace door was open, and went in. Rita Albers was sitting at the kitchen table when she stopped in the corridor. Rita did not notice her. She was absorbed in the papers that lay spread out over the table. Hanna saw the heading “Mende Fashion” on one of the sheets of paper.

  The red heat in her head exploded.

  She looked at Karl van den Boom, and now her hands lay still in her lap. “And then I had her meat hammer in my hand and she was lying with her head on the table among the papers. Then there was peace.” She said this with a childlike surprise, and after a short pause she added matter-of-factly, “I took the hammer and the folder with the papers outside with me. Her rubber gloves were lying on the table on the terrace. I thought, if it looks like a break-in . . . I put the gloves on, scattered the papers over the floor, smashed the vase against the ground, and took the laptop away.” She lowered her head in shame.

  Karl stood up, went to the window, and lost himself in the young greenness of the linden tree. He considered whether he should tell Hanna that Rita Albers knew nothing about the well. That Schoofs had only wanted to know how deep he would need to drill for the new well.

  He remained silent.

  Epilogue

  The remains of Friedhelm Lubisch, deceased in 1950, were buried in the cemetery at Kranenburg on May 7, 1998.

  When Hanna found out that Paul’s crime—the disposal of Friedhelm Lubisch’s body—was long since statute-barred, she broke down. She spent the time leading up to her trial at the Höver farm. Therese Mende posted her bail. In the fall of 1999, Hanna was given a three-year prison sentence, of which she served two years. In 2007, at age eighty-six, she died on the farm.

 

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