by Lorna Byrne
This is my life. It is part of the healing gift God has given me – to take on the suffering and pain of others. Some people might call it a curse, not a gift; by taking pain I can ease the pain of others. I'm like an intermediary, taking the pain and passing it on to God. At times the pain might be overpowering, I may even think I am dying, but it won't kill me because God takes the pain from me. I don't know what God does with the pain; it is a mystery, but time and time again I have witnessed it.
Chapter Seven
A creature without a soul
One day, when I was seventeen and had been working in the garage for about eighteen months, Elijah's vision came true.
I was in the office with Anne and my father, and from where I was sitting I could see straight out of the big windows and over to the far side of the road, where there were trees. I saw a young man in the distance, walking along that side of the road and, all of a sudden, I recognised him.
I could see trees and a young man and I knew straight away – even though he was a distance away – that this was the young man I was going to marry. I could hardly breathe. I knew he was going to cross the road and come into the garage, looking for a job.
I felt my hair being ruffled and I turned around to see my guardian angel standing there. I looked back out of the window, and as I watched the man walking across the forecourt I could see his guardian angel faintly within the energy around him. The young man looked extremely handsome, with reddish fair hair. He was very tall, and I like tall men. I was extremely excited watching him; I knew what the outcome was going to be.
Despite this, I turned and said to Anne, 'Here's someone looking for a job, I hope he doesn't get it!' I have to laugh at that. I was fearful of this great change in my life – and also very shy. Deep down though, I knew that he would get the job because it was what was meant to be.
The young man walked straight into the shop. Da looked up from the desk, saw him, and signalled that he would be with him in a moment.When Da went out to him I sat where I was, almost paralysed. I just didn't want to be there, and I was trembling and shaking. All that Elijah had said flooded into my mind; this was the man I would marry, I would love him and he would love me, we would be happy together most of the time but, in the end, I would take care of him and we wouldn't grow old together.
My father and the young man stood talking in the shop for some time. Eventually, I started gathering up dirty cups and took them to the canteen to wash them. I walked past him as he was standing there talking to my Da. I secretly took a look at him. Oh, I did like what I saw! I took a long time washing the cups and making fresh tea.When I brought the tea back he was still standing there talking to Da. I didn't know what to do. A customer came into the shop and I went and served him. I felt really nervous and just ignored the young man.
Of course, my father gave him a job and the next day he started work. I was introduced to him and I learned his name was Joe. I watched from a distance as he learned how everything worked, how to serve petrol and mend punctures. On the way home, at the end of Joe's first day, Da told me that he thought Joe was a very bright man – a quick learner.
I tried to avoid Joe, but I couldn't help watching him surreptitiously, because I felt so attracted to him. I wondered if Joe noticed me, if he could feel the connection. The angels seemed to make sure that every time I went into the canteen to make tea or wash cups he was there. He would give me a radiant smile, and then my heart would know that he felt something too. I would smile back, but I wouldn't say much and would rush back out of the canteen as quickly as I could.
One day, about six months after he had come to work in the garage, Joe asked me out. I had gone around to the canteen to make tea, as I did regularly during the day. As I was filling the kettle and rinsing out the cups, Joe walked in and offered to help me wash up. I laughed at him and said there was no need – there were only three cups! Just as I was about to leave the canteen with the teapot and cups on a tray, Joe said, 'Lorna, what would you think if I asked you for a date?'
I smiled at Joe, 'Of course, I'd love to go out with you.'
Joe suggested we go out that night, but I said no, I couldn't, it would have to be Friday after work.
'Okay, that'll be great,' Joe said, as he held the door open for me.
'We'll talk about what we'll do on Friday night later,' I said, as I walked through the open door.
I was so happy that I was floating on air. The week seemed to pass very quickly and, before I knew it, it was Friday.When I walked into the canteen that morning Joe was already there waiting for me. He gave me a big smile and asked, 'Lorna, what would you like to do tonight?'
'I'd like to go to the pictures,' I replied. 'Let's meet at about half-past six on O'Connell Bridge.'
Joe suggested that I choose the film but just then one of the other staff walked in, so we did not speak again that day. I asked Da could I finish work early that day – instead of staying until six, I wanted to leave about four. Da said okay and never asked me why. The angels had already told me that I would have to keep it a secret.
At four o'clock I headed home on the bus. As I walked up the road to the house I was talking to my angels. 'It's so exciting. I know nothing about any pictures that might be on in Dublin. It is so long since I've been to the pictures – maybe two years. I don't care what film we see. I just want to be with Joe.' The angels laughed. As I talked to them I was remembering all of what the angel Elijah had told me.
When I arrived home I told Mum I was meeting a friend in Dublin and I was going to go to the pictures. Mum said, 'Just make sure you're on the last bus home.'
She didn't ask any questions, either, so I guess the angels were helping.
There was a newspaper on the table in the dining room, so I opened it and went straight to the film section. There were so many pictures on, I just picked one. I knew nothing about it, but I didn't care and the angels didn't say anything either, so I assumed everything was okay. I have to laugh at that now.
It was a beautiful summer evening and O'Connell Bridge looked wonderful in the evening light, with its lamps and big flowerpots. Joe was a few minutes late, and as I stood there I watched what was going on around me. There was a woman and child sitting begging from the many passers-by rushing home after their day's work. There was a woman selling roses, but no one seemed to have the time to stop and buy. I could tell from the colours of the energy around the people what kind of humour they were in: if they were in a hurry or full of excitement. Joe came from the opposite direction and tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped and he laughed as I turned around. I was so happy to see him. He took my hand and we went straight to the cinema.
The film I had chosen was called The Virgin and the Gypsy. The cinema was packed: lots of people were going to see this film, so we had to sit quite near the front. About ten minutes into the film, I started squirming in my seat: this was not a film I wanted to see, certainly not with Joe on our first date. The sex scenes were very explicit: I was shocked. This kind of film was not common in Ireland at that time, back in the 70s. Perhaps that's why there were so many people there!
After a few minutes more, I told Joe I wanted to leave. We did, and Joe didn't mind at all: I think he felt as uncomfortable as I did.We walked away from the cinema up O'Connell Street towards Nelson's pillar. It was such a beautiful evening that I was glad to be out of the cinema. Strolling hand in hand with Joe was a much nicer way of spending our first date.We talked as we went. One of the first things Joe said was that he was glad he hadn't chosen the picture! We both laughed.
We walked in front of the GPO – a beautiful grey-stone building I always loved. We nodded hello to the policeman standing guard outside. I noticed a couple kissing and cuddling, their angels tall and standing very close to them, as if they were helping them to join together. I smiled as we walked past them. Joe put his arm around me, it felt good. I felt safe in his company.
We crossed over the road at the traffic lights and went into a res
taurant. I had never been in a restaurant at night before; this one was long and narrow with a tiled, marbled floor and the tables were enamelled and screwed to the floor with high wooden benches on each side. The backs of these benches were about four feet high, so when you sat down you couldn't see who was at any other table. We sat on the wooden benches facing each other. Joe knew by the look on my face that I had never been in a restaurant like this before and he told me that the tables were called booths. Just then, the waitress came over with her pencil and paper and we ordered tea and sandwiches.
We talked about our parents – his father was dead. We talked about brothers and sisters – Joe was the youngest of his family and I was the third eldest of mine. Joe asked, 'What do you think your Da would say if he knew we were on a date together?'
'I am not sure about my Da,' I replied, 'but I know Mum would more than likely object.'
So we both agreed we would keep it secret.
We left the restaurant and walked the streets for a while, looking at the shop windows, then we walked down along the quays to the bus terminus. Joe lived in a different direction from me and would need to take a different bus; my bus had just pulled in but wasn't due to go for a few minutes, so we were happy to sit on the bus together for a while. 'You'd better go for your bus,' I told Joe.
He got up and said he would be back in a minute. He talked to the bus conductor and then he sat back down beside me and said, 'I'm going home with you on the bus. I'll walk you right up to your house.'
The bus conductor had told him about an unofficial bus that was not on the timetable which was known as 'the ghost bus'. It was a scheduled bus on its way out from Dublin to near my home, but on its return to the garage in the centre of Dublin it was not meant to pick up any passengers. It did take passengers, though, and, from then on, whenever we went out Joe always brought me home and then got the ghost bus back into town and walked to his own house.
Joe and I didn't tell anyone we were going out with each other. Other girls my age might have shared the secret with a girl friend, but I had no friends I confided in like that. Anyway, as I said, the angels told me that it was important it was kept a secret, and whenever they tell me this, even now I do as they say. I don't know if Joe told anyone, I never asked, but I don't think so.
While we were keeping it secret – and we were very careful about that – Joe's sense of mischief meant he couldn't resist teasing me whenever the opportunity arose. He used to call me 'Rambo', when I tried to lift a repaired tyre into a customer's boot (I'm five-foot-nothing tall) and he would tease me that the mini-skirt of my uniform was way too short (he was probably right!).
Whenever I could, I loved to go fishing with my father. It was something we had done every so often when I was a child, and it continued when I was working in the garage and going out with Joe. I didn't always bring my fishing rod, but I loved the opportunity to be in the quiet by a river, and I liked spending time with my da. One day, we went fishing in the Wicklow mountains. We set off early in Da's car and, as always, we brought a picnic with us. We also had a billy can, so that Da could light a fire and make tea.
It was a chilly day; we had been fishing for an hour or two and Da had caught a trout, when it started to rain. Nearby, on the river bank, there was a cluster of trees with an old dilapidated house. Da suggested it would be a nice place to shelter, light a fire and have our tea – we would be out of the cold. Da walked ahead of me, and as we got closer to the trees I noticed there was no light of energy around them and that the place looked very dull.
Angel Michael tapped me on the shoulder. 'This place may frighten you,' he said. 'We're going to show you something that is bad. It won't harm you, but it will be aware of you as soon as you walk into that little house. It will respond to you angrily, but it won't touch you.'
Until then I had been protected from seeing anything evil.
'Is it a ghost?' I asked.
'No, Lorna, this is a different sort of creature,' Michael replied.
Da called out to hurry and I looked up. He was some distance ahead and had climbed up onto a bank in front of the house. When I turned around to talk to Michael again, he had disappeared.
I ran and caught up with Da. We walked among the trees surrounding the house. Everything around the house seemed dead to me – there were no leaves on the trees, and no grass or flowers growing nearby. The door to the little house was ajar, hanging off its hinges with pieces of board missing. Part of the roof and some of the windows were also gone. Da went in; there was an old broken wooden table and chairs there. To me it felt as cold as ice inside, but Da didn't seem to notice: he went straight to the fireplace.
I stood there, just inside the door. I could not move. I just kept saying to myself, 'Oh, my God, oh, my angels.' I could see a creature near to the fireplace, to the right. It was unlike anything I have seen before or since: it looked like melted wax, about three feet long and about chest-wide thick. It was horrible and horrific looking. I couldn't say that it had a mouth or eyes.
I knew Da couldn't see or feel anything. He gathered pieces of debris from the floor and piled them into the fireplace and struck a match. The fire exploded immediately – it was a big and noisy explosion and came out into the room. The creature had massive energy. It was just throwing off evil! It was very angry; it had been keeping that place for itself and it didn't want us there. As far as it was concerned, we were trespassing.
Just after the fire exploded, one of the chairs moved and went flying across the room, where it hit the far wall and broke.
Da jumped and ran for me and the door, grabbing his bag as he went. He pulled me out of the door and we ran as fast as we could through the trees, back down along the banks of the river. We were both scared out of our wits and ran faster than we had ever done before in our lives. Da was a faster runner than me and dragged me behind him. Eventually, out of breath, we slowed down. The rain had stopped and the sun had come out; I felt its warmth on my face.
Silently, Da tried to light a campfire. His hands were shaking and he was having difficulty lighting it. I was watching Da, waiting for him to say something. I spoke to the angels without words, and asked them to calm Da down. After some minutes, Da got the fire going, and when the billy can boiled he made tea. We ate our sandwiches in silence.
Eventually Da said, in a trembling voice, 'I'm sorry for frightening you like that, Lorna. I got a big fright myself. I don't really know what it was, but the only thing I've ever heard of that moves chairs around is a poltergeist, and I've never heard of anything making a fire explode like that.'
Da knew a lot about fires and he was very careful in how he handled them. I think the fire exploding had scared him more than the chair moving.
I never said a word; I just continued drinking my tea. I didn't want my da to know how frightened I had been. I had been terrified – even though deep down I knew we would be safe because the angels were minding us.
As I sat there by the fire Michael touched my shoulder, although he didn't appear to me. Michael said Da was right. The creature I had seen was a poltergeist. He explained to me that poltergeists are creatures without souls that are created by Satan. Sometimes people invite them in. One way they do this is by experimenting with black magic or Ouija boards, or other things like that. Poltergeists, Michael told me, are sly creatures and they creep in wherever they are given an opportunity, and they can cause enormous destruction.
Da and I finished lunch in silence, and when we were finished we packed up. Da suggested we continued fishing on another stretch of river. I agreed.We both wanted to be a long way from that place. We carried on fishing some miles away, which calmed us both down, and we caught enough fish for dinner.
As we enjoyed eating the fish at home that night we didn't make any mention of what had happened during the day. Da and I never spoke of it again.
Chapter Eight
The Intermediary
One afternoon, while I was washing my hands at the sink in the
garage toilets, I looked in the mirror and an angel appeared – just her face at first. She startled me and I jumped. As I stepped back, the mirror on the wall seemed to disappear and the angel came into full view. Her radiant light filled the place.
The angel spoke before I did; she called my name.
'Lorna, call me Angel Elisha.'
As she said this, she reached out and took my hands in hers. Her hands felt like feathers, and when I looked down at them they resembled feathers, too, but had a completely human shape.
I'm referring to Elisha as a she because she appeared to me as a female; but angels are in fact neither male nor female as we are, they are sexless beings. They only appear in the human image to help us to accept them and make us less afraid and they change their appearance to being female or male so as to make us feel more at ease, or to help us to understand more clearly the message they are giving.
I said earlier that the angels told me a little about Elijah while I was writing this book, and at the same time they told me that Elisha is the prophet to whom the prophet Elijah gave his mantle shortly before he ascended to heaven in a chariot. However, Elisha is a man in the Old Testament.
'Angel Elisha, why are you here? Is something going to change in my life?' I asked.
'Yes, Lorna,' she said. 'You are going to get a new job. I'm going to help your Mum meet an old acquaintance of hers and you'll get a new job in a department store in Dublin.'
I was about to ask Angel Elisha when this was going to happen, when someone knocked on the toilet door. I shouted, 'I'll be out in a minute.'
Angel Elisha put her feathered finger to her mouth and disappeared.
I was very excited at the idea of getting a new job, even if it meant that I wasn't going to be able to see Joe every day. I felt it would give me a lot more independence from my parents, and it would help them to see that I was capable of doing things on my own. While I was in the garage under my father's protection, they couldn't see this.