by Lorna Byrne
Aunt Sara was delighted. She told me herself and Uncle Paddy were looking forward to having dinner and going to a show afterwards. I promised I'd be at her house as early as I could be. We said goodbye and, as I watched my Aunt leaving the department store, she was beaming, with light all around her. I knew she was happy.
When lunch time came, I went to the back entrance of the department store to use the payphone. I rang the garage and when Da answered the phone I said, 'Hi, Da, can I talk to Joe?' 'Joe is outside. I'll call him,' Da replied. I could hear excitement in my Da's voice. I said to him, 'You sound very happy today.'
My da gave a little laugh and said, 'Here's Joe.'
I spoke to Joe for a few minutes and told him that my Aunt needed me to babysit that evening. I asked Joe whether he had talked to Da about our getting married.
'No,' he said. 'I'll leave it until tomorrow. I'll pick you up after work, we will talk and then go to your house about nine and I'll talk to your Da and ask him for your hand in marriage.'
'Joe, I could hear an excitement in Da's voice when I was speaking to him just now; are you sure he doesn't know anything?'
'No, I haven't talked to him, or anyone else,' said Joe, 'but your Da is in a great mood today. Maybe he has had some good news.'
'I hope Da can't hear you now,' I said.
'No, he's gone out to the mechanic.'
Someone came into the office just then so we said our goodbyes and hung up.
I had an hour for my lunch so I planned to go out to enjoy the beautiful sunshine. When I turned to walk away from the payphone, I bumped into an angel and then I stepped into her. She was all around me; she was big, huggable and beautiful. It was the Angel of Mother's love. She had hugged me many times before as a child, but this time the feeling was stronger than ever.
The Angel of Mother's love is round like the sun and enormous in size. Her wings are wrapped around her but opened out, a little like a mother hen. Her arms are always ready to embrace you in a big hug. Her colouring mingles cream and white, and this time there was a hint of pink. She is translucent and you can see a very bright light reflecting from within her, but you cannot see through her.
Her face radiates love, her eyes are big like saucers, sparkling with the light of a mother's love and she has wonderful soft curls of creamy white hair. She radiates hugs of love all the time; she is so huggable that you want to fall into her arms and hug her, and be hugged by her. No matter how much love you receive from your own mother, if you have a mother, this angel always enhances a mother's love.
That day I was worried about my mother's reaction to Joe and me getting married, and the Angel of Mother's love knew I needed to feel a mother's love at that time: to feel more love, perhaps, than my mother was able to give me.
I was so happy and excited about our engagement that I constantly had a smile on my face. Valerie asked, 'What's up? You seem very happy.' She kept badgering me all day, trying to get my secret out of me. Towards the end of the day, when we were sorting a rail of trousers together, she blurted out:
'I know! You and Joe are getting engaged! That's it!'
I blushed. 'Shh, it's a secret,' I said to her. 'Don't tell the others.' I didn't want anyone to know until I had a ring, but I was still pleased to be given the chance to tell someone.
'Where's your ring?' she asked.
'We don't have one yet, that is what I am trying to tell you. Joe and I haven't looked yet. Maybe in the next few weeks, I don't know. We've many things to work out. Joe has to talk to Da first. Promise you won't say anything to the other girls? You'll be the first to see the ring and make a wish.'
Valerie agreed.We stayed there chatting and sorting clothes for a little while and then she went off to do the till. She kept looking over at me with a grin on her face, but she didn't say anything to anyone.
After work I got the bus to my aunt's house to babysit. On the way, I asked the angels not to let my excitement show, as I didn't want Aunt Sara or Uncle Paddy asking questions. The angels kept me very calm and they never noticed anything. The next morning I got the bus to work. The morning seemed to be very long, so at lunch time I went for a walk around the back streets and lanes around the department store.
I always found these back streets an oasis; a place where I could get my thoughts together, to be by myself, to escape for a brief moment from whatever the angels were asking me to do at that time, and I would sit on a low wall, a box or even on a door step. There was one lane, though, that I always avoided – the one where Mark had been gunned down.
When work was over, I rushed down to the cloakroom, got my coat, went back up the stairs and out into the car park. Joe was already sitting in the car waiting for me. I was so happy to see him.We drove to the Phoenix Park, parked the car, and sat and talked. Joe said that if I liked, we could go looking for an engagement ring that weekend. I said that would be nice – but just to look at rings, not to buy. The angels had already told me that Joe would find the ring for me, but not in the normal way. Joe asked me if I would like to tell his mother about the engagement. I said no, I would rather wait till I had an engagement ring. We both agreed on that. Joe said, 'When we walk into the house with an engagement ring on your finger, she'll be so happy for both of us.'
We also decided that, even though we weren't planning to get married for a year or so, we would start to look for a place to live.
As we pulled up outside my house, the hall door was open. Da came out and gave us a wave, before going back into the house and leaving the door open. That made Joe feel a little better, a bit more welcome. We went straight through to the kitchen. Mum was there. Joe greeted her and I started to make tea.
'What's up?' Mum asked.
'Joe wants to talk to Da,' I replied.
'I've been waiting for this day,' my mother said with a look on her face, it was clear she disapproved.
'Your Da is in the dining room, reading the paper.' She said rather dismissively, 'I'll tell him Joe wants to see him.'
Mum went into the dining room and closed the door behind her. This made Joe much more nervous. 'Why can't this be simple?' he said.
Mum was back in a minute or so and told Joe that he could go and talk to Da. Mum stayed in the kitchen with me while I was making the tea and buttering some bread and jam. She didn't say a word. Then she left the kitchen and went into the dining room.
About five minutes later, when I had the tray ready, I carried it into the dining room. I felt Joe needed support, so I didn't wait for him to come out, and anyway I was dying to know my father's response.
As I opened the door to the dining room I could see Da and Joe were sitting together on the sofa, and Mum was standing nearby. She hadn't sat down. I smiled when I saw Joe and Da together, they both looked very happy. Da was all smiles; he got up from the sofa and gave me a big hug and congratulated me. I was no longer worried, I was so happy. Even my mother's reaction didn't have the power to detract from the moment.
Da was thrilled that I was getting married, and to a nice reliable man. In some ways he was probably relieved that now he wouldn't be responsible for me, and I felt Mum was relieved too, even if she had difficulties showing it. At some stage that evening Da said, 'I never thought I'd live to see this day.'
Even though I was now engaged to get married, I know that they were still apprehensive, because of the way they looked at me. Da started to ask Joe and I lots of questions about our plans. Mum, who had said nothing until then, asked if we had a date in mind for the wedding and we both replied, 'No' together.
'Maybe August next year,' Joe suggested.
'We'll have the wedding reception in the house,' Mum said.
I didn't say a word; I was horrified at the suggestion. Da said, 'We can talk about it all later.'
But that never happened. We finished tea, Joe said goodbye to Da and Mum and we walked out to the car. Joe said, 'Don't be worried – if you don't want the reception in the house, we can find a hotel.'
That we
ekend Joe and I went looking at engagement rings, but I saw nothing that I liked in any of the jewellers. I told Joe, 'I would really like something different. All the engagement rings look more or less the same, no matter which jewellers you go to. I am willing to wait until I find the ring I really want.'
'Are you sure?' he asked.
About six weeks later, I was working late one evening and not expecting to meet Joe as he was meant to be doing stocktaking at the garage. I was going to catch the eight o'clock bus home, but I got a great surprise to see Joe standing by the car in the car park when I went out.
'Come on, let's go for an ice cream,' he said.
'You're in a wonderful humour,' I said to him. 'I'm still in my uniform, how can I go for an ice cream?'
'That doesn't matter.' Joe said, 'You look beautiful to me. Now let's go and get that ice cream.'
We walked hand-in-hand to the ice cream parlour and sat facing each other in one of our favourite seats. I ordered a banana split and Joe ordered a sundae. Halfway through eating, Joe reached into his jacket breast pocket, saying, 'I have a big surprise for you.' He took out a little box and opened it. I couldn't believe it! There was a fabulous engagement ring shaped like a rose with petals in gold and a diamond set in the centre. It was so different to all the other rings I had seen. Joe held my hand and, slipping the ring on to my finger, said, 'I love you. I want to marry you and grow old with you.'
Hearing these words from Joe filled my eyes with tears. I was happy and yet I remembered what Angel Elijah had said to me all those years ago. That we would marry, Joe would become ill, I would have to look after him, and that we would never grow old together.
'Don't cry,' Joe said as he kissed my hand. I looked into his eyes and saw his happiness and forgot about the future. I leaned across the table and gave Joe a big kiss and asked him where he found the ring.
'You wouldn't believe it,' he said, 'in the garage! We were very busy and I went outside to help at the petrol pumps just as a car pulled in with a puncture. I changed the wheel for him and brought the wheel around to the back to be repaired. As I was standing by his car, telling him the wheel would be ready in twenty minutes, I noticed the backseat of his car was covered with cases like little cabinets.'
Joe had asked him about the strange-looking cases and the man told him he was a jeweller. Joe continued, 'I told the man I was looking for an engagement ring, but something completely different. The man said he had a small box with new designs of different kinds – some were rings. He opened the box and I saw this ring and I immediately knew it was perfect for you. I asked him if he would sell me the ring and he said he would have to check with his boss. We went into the office to phone him, and when we were there I showed your Da the ring. Your Da said I had done well and that this ring would make you happy, that it was a lovely ring. The man came off the phone and told me I could buy it.'
I gave Joe a big smile. 'I don't want you to tell me how much it cost. I don't want to know that. Thank you for finding this beautiful engagement ring for me.'
I was thrilled; I was walking on air as we walked back to the car park. 'I'm dying to show my ring to Mum and my sisters and brothers,' I said. I don't remember the journey home, but I do remember walking in the back door into the kitchen with Joe right behind me. The kitchen was empty and I opened the door into the dining room. Da said, 'What took you so long to get home?'
'Well! I needn't show you my engagement ring, seeing as you have seen it already,' I said. Da laughed and came over to me and gave me a big hug. I showed Mum my ring and told her to make a wish. Mum gave me a hug too and said, 'It's very dainty.'
Joe had a cup of tea before heading home and I said, 'Don't tell your Mum about our engagement until after work tomorrow. We'll go to your house together, as usual, for dinner and then surprise her. Let's see if she notices the ring on my finger.'
The next day, that is exactly what we did.We were sitting at the table and as Joe's mum was putting my dinner in front of me, she let out a scream, saying, 'Lorna, you have an engagement ring on! Stand up so I can hug my future daughter-in-law.' Joe's mum always made me feel so welcome.
I was fascinated, because within what seemed like only minutes, the members of Joe's family who lived close by started to call to the house to congratulate us. Within about an hour, family that lived further a field also started arriving. I was being fussed over – something that rarely happened to me. I loved the excitement.
At about eleven o'clock I told Joe he had better drive me home because I had work in the morning. I said goodbye to Joe's mum and she gave me a big hug. I could feel the happiness and joy in her. She was more at peace within herself now that she could see her dream coming true – her youngest son was engaged. Her hug was so tight I could feel and see her guardian angel hugging me too. Joe's mum stood at the hall door waving to us as we drove away. I could see her guardian angel standing in the doorway waving and gleaming with light.
As Joe drove up the road, I turned more in the car seat, not wanting to lose sight of Joe's mum and her angel. Actually, all I could see was the light of the angel. Joe laughed at me, 'What are you trying to do? Turn the seat around altogether?'
'I am just trying to see your mum waving to us for as long as I can,' I replied.
As we drove on Joe said, 'You're a bit quiet.'
'I'm just thinking about tomorrow,' I said, 'about going into work with my engagement ring. If the excitement is anything like what it was in your mum's house, I think I shall be embarrassed. I feel very shy and nervous about it, but on the other hand I can't wait to show the girls my ring.'
I was home in no time. Just as I was about to get out of the car, Joe said, 'Get back here and give me a kiss. Enjoy work tomorrow, showing all the girls your ring. I'll see you after work.' We said goodbye. I went in to the house. It was in darkness. I crept slowly up to my room, not making a sound, and got into bed. I didn't sleep well that night; I was too excited. I thought the morning would never come, but it did.
I got up a bit earlier in order to catch an earlier bus to work; hoping to arrive before the other girls from my department and hoping that Valerie might be there so I could share my excitement with her and show her the ring. But I was very shy. As I reached the back entrance of the department store, I took a deep breath and went in.
I went down the stairs to the cloakroom and clocked in for work. The cloakroom was a square shape with lockers all around the walls and a set of lockers dividing the room. I walked around the lockers and there was Valerie. As soon as she saw me, she jumped up from the seat and said, 'I know by the look on your face. Let me see your engagement ring.'
'I told you I would keep my promise,' I said to her, 'just as you kept yours. You can have the first wish.'
Valerie took the ring off my finger gently, put it on her own and started to turn the ring towards her three times with her eyes closed and her lips moving silently. I could see her angel clearly, but only part of mine because my guardian angel was behind me. Then, as I looked up, I saw both angels' heads touch and, as I looked down, their feet touched and the angels started to wrap around each other. My guardian angel's wings seemed to stretch out to Valerie's angel's wings and they started to intertwine to make an oval shape. The floor beneath us disappeared. I watched Valerie as she opened her eyes. I could feel a wonderful peace and tranquillity; I wondered if she felt anything of it. She took a deep breath and gave me a wonderful smile saying, 'Thanks, Lorna.'
More girls came in and I was surrounded by people congratulating me and stretching out their hands to see the ring and make wishes. Pauline, in particular, was thrilled; she was very romantic and adored a good love story. She had only met Joe briefly, but she thought he was very handsome and she was very happy for me.
All the attention was very exciting. I asked the angels to grant as many wishes as possible, especially for my friends, because I knew they had many wishes – not just for themselves, but for their families and friends.
The
supervisor walked into the cloakroom and said, 'What's all this excitement? Let me have a look.'
As she made her way through the girls who were still wishing on the ring, she asked, 'Who's engaged?'
'Lorna,' everyone answered her at the same time.
'I'm next to make a wish, girls,' she said. She took the ring from another girl, ignoring the others who were waiting and slipped it onto her finger and made a wish.
'Congratulations, Lorna. All you girls – off to the shop floor.'
They teased her back and she started to laugh. 'Lorna, it's a beautiful ring,' she said to me, 'tell me his name.'
'Joe,' I said.
'I wish you and Joe all the happiness in the world. When is the big day?'
'We are planning August of next year, maybe; we have not quite made up our minds,' I answered.
'My advice is, don't make it a rushed decision,' the supervisor said, 'Give yourselves plenty of time. Now, we'd better get back to work.'
Later that day when I was in the canteen queuing for tea, the girls behind the counter said, 'Lorna, we heard you were engaged. Congratulations.'
The canteen supervisor commented that everyone would be over at my table during the break to have a look at my ring and to make a wish. That's what it was like for the next week or so. I was so happy that everyone was happy for me and Joe: even the security guard in the car park congratulated Joe when he came to pick me up after work that day.
For the first time in my life I felt I was the centre of attention. But Mum and Da never sat down with Joe and me to talk about wedding plans. In fact, my family didn't seem to show a great interest in my wedding at all.
After talking with Joe, I decided to ask Pauline, my friend at work, to be my bridesmaid. I knew she would be thrilled and would be a great support to me on the day. She was a little like me, very quiet; whereas the other girls in the fashion department frequently went to the pub together after work, it didn't really interest Pauline or me.