Donut Be Easy

Home > Other > Donut Be Easy > Page 8
Donut Be Easy Page 8

by Kristen Hope Mazzola


  “Yeah, it’s been seven years and about nine months, to be exact. The night of Nessa’s engagement, Piper drug me out to celebrate with everyone.” She rubs the back of her neck, the gesture pulling my attention to her hair. It’s a lot different than it used to be.

  It had been long and lush; now it’s in a cute pixie cut and not really something I’d picture a cheerleader having. Is she still a cheerleader? Didn’t Piper say Hallie had joined her squad?

  “Seven or eight years sounds about right. Not to be rude, but I’m not really understanding why Piper, or you, would want to have this walk down memory lane after all this time. If I remember right, two weeks after our night together you were trying out to be a professional cheerleader with my sister.”

  “I did. And I made the team, in fact. At least for part of a season. But a few months later, I had to quit." She stares down at her hands as she fidgets with them, and there’s this long, awkward pause before she speaks again.

  "I… uh… couldn't cheer and be pregnant at the same time," she confesses so quietly that I'm not really sure I hear her right.

  "Pregnant?" I choke out, my voice shaky even to my own ears. I cross my arms again as if to protect myself. Shit! Dammit! FUCK! This can NOT be happening! "Hallie....” My voice cracks so I clear my throat and try again. “What the hell are you here to tell me? Are you telling me that… uh that one night we spent together....” My voice is stronger now. “Holy hell! You got pregnant that night?!” I roar. “And why the fuck are you just now telling me?" She flinches, and I know my tone sounds harsher than I want it to, but I can't help that. I'm quickly moving from stunned to pissed.

  “Yes.” She speaks the word softly and meekly, which is nothing like I remember Hallie being. “Even with all of our precautions, somehow I got pregnant that night. I didn’t say anything to you because by the time I realized it, I was dating someone else. Plus, I wasn’t living anywhere near you. You had a good job, and so did I, and I didn’t want to mess that up for either of us,” Hallie admits, glancing at me but unwilling to keep eye contact.

  There’s no fucking way I have a child!

  “So you figured what? I wouldn’t want to know I had a child? That I wouldn’t support you both? That I wouldn’t try to make us a family? That I’d deprive you, and my child, of a stable home?” I snarl, my temper flaring again as I begin to pace.

  “It wasn’t like that Forest, I swear! I knew you’d do anything for your family, but I also knew you loved working with your friends. Piper talked about everything you were doing... daily. And, no she didn’t know I was pregnant with your child. So please don’t be pissed at her,” Hallie pleads with tortured eyes.

  Knowing that little bit helps calm me slightly, but Piper has to know something now for her to send Hallie to me at this point.

  “Look, I wanted to raise Isabella, I call her Ella, myself, and yes, it’s been hard. But I thought it would be best for everyone. Did I make a bad decision? Possibly. But your life was here, and mine was not. I’m a cheerleader, and a sports trainer. My life was with the team I was working for, and your life was here... cooking. I’m sorry.”

  “So what? Now you need my help?” I glower at her as I pace.

  “Ella and I both need your help,” she admits sadly, and I stop dead in my tracks.

  Why would they both need my help? I take a moment to look more closely at Hallie and realize I can see her bones, she’s so thin. Even for a cheerleader, she’s too thin. And for the first time, I really notice what’s she’s wearing. It’s August here in Austin, and she’s in long pants and a form-fitting, long-sleeved shirt.

  “Why Hallie? Why do y’all need my help now?”

  “Because…” she hesitates. “...I’m dying, Forest. And I’d rather our daughter be with you than in a foster home, or even with my family, for that matter,” Hallie finishes, finally making eye contact with me and holding it.

  “Fuck!” My throat goes dry, and I swallow hard.

  “You can say that again.” She scratches her hair and all of it shifts slightly. I must stare at her head for longer than I think because Hallie explains, “It’s a wig. One of many. I lost all my hair during chemo.”

  Cancer?! Mother. Fucker!

  “I’m sorry.” I’m finally able to force the words out. “How long have you been sick?” I’m at a total loss as to how to deal with all of this. I’m still pissed, because how many sucker-punches to the gut can I take in one conversation? But… she’s dying, so I shouldn’t be so harsh.

  “They found the ovarian cancer while I was pregnant with Ella. During the pregnancy they couldn’t do much to treat it, mainly because I wasn’t willing to give up Ella. The doctors told me she might be the only biological child I could have, depending on the treatment. And, against their better judgement, I decided to keep her.” Tears fill Hallie’s eyes as I move closer to her and the couch.

  “You- you kept our baby, despite what the doctors told you?” I’m floored and in awe of her bravery. My temper quickly deflates.

  “Yeah. Piper was there for that part, but I still didn’t tell her the baby was her niece or nephew,” she chuckles softly.

  I slowly ease myself down next to her on the couch. “I’m sorry you went through all that without help besides my sister. Hallie, I’m really trying to understand why you waited this long to tell me about our child. Especially knowing you were sick. Am I on her birth certificate?”

  “No,” she admits, quickly adding, “But only because I didn’t want Piper to find out you are Ella’s father. I didn’t think she’d respect my wishes and not tell you. Or Nessa for that matter. Right after Ella was born, the doctors told me I wouldn’t have long. But... then they were hopeful that I would have more years because I’d started treatments and, for a while, they worked. Obviously I’m not that lucky, though. The cancer returned, and the treatments aren’t working anymore.” Her voice is shaky, and I watch as tears begin to fall. “When they told me the cancer was back, I knew I’d made the right decision not to tell you, only so that I could have that short amount of time with Ella all to myself. Yes, it was extremely selfish, but I knew you’d have so many more years with her.” She’s sobbing now, and tears keep rolling down her face as she’s trying to wipe them away.

  “Dammit Hallie,” I whisper. I want to say more, but in some respects I can understand why she did what she did. Hell, I don’t even know if I’d have done anything differently if I was her. Still….

  “I know.” She deflates a little more, and I can see the toll this conversation is taking on her. “In the short time I have left, I want to help get you and Ella settled.”

  I run my hand through my hair. “Fuck. Hallie, how do you expect me to get settled with Ella when I’ve never even met her? Not to mention, my life is here in Austin and, if I remember right, you live down in Houston.”

  “Piper wasn’t wrong when she told me to do this sooner,” she mumbles.

  I interrupt her before she can say more. “How long has my sister known I have a child? And I want the truth,” I bite out.

  “Before I answer that, know that Piper wanted me to tell you the truth as soon as she found out, but I’m the one that wouldn’t let her share anything with you. That’s also the reason she doesn’t call much. After Ella was born, and I started treatment, Piper and I moved in together. It made sense to me, because Ella would be with family even if Piper didn’t know Ella was her niece. As Ella got older, more of your family’s features started showing on her, and Piper put two and two together. She was pissed, but at the same time, we were just finding out that the cancer was more aggressive than the doctors originally thought. That was about five years ago.”

  “Piper’s known for five fucking years?” I yell, popping off the couch to pace some more.

  “Yes, and she and I have a monthly fight over that fact. Last year she talked me into looking at jobs here in Austin. About three months ago, I was offered a position at the University. I took it as a sign. However, it turn
s out it wasn’t the sign I was hoping for. Two weeks ago at my last check up, the doctors said the treatments weren’t working anymore, and the cancer is spreading.”

  I stop pacing and spin to face her, my fight leaving me just that quickly once again. “Hallie, I’m so fucking sorry.”

  She shrugs as if resigned to the fact she is dying. “It is what it is. Ella and I have been in the city for a little over three weeks so we could get settled in before I start my first day on the job. I’m in talks with the University to see if Piper can take over my position soon. During the off-seasons, she went back to school to finish her education to be a sports trainer. After I got my job, she thought it might be a good idea to see if she could find a job here as well, to help with the transition. We just didn’t realize this would all happen so quickly.”

  My breath catches, and I try to clear my throat, but it won’t clear. “Three weeks, and I’m just now seeing you?” I run my hand through my hair. “You want Ella to stay with Piper?” I am so confused.

  “No, sorry. This is all coming out so jumbled,” she huffs out. Taking a deep breath, she continues. “What I mean is, I think Ella needs to be with you, not Piper. I’m just saying you’ll have someone that Ella knows close by.” Hallie glances around my apartment. “I might suggest you move in to my place, though, and take over the lease. That is, if you’re up for it. It will keep things a little more stable for Ella.”

  “I’ll think about it. I realize this place isn’t big enough for a child and myself.” Scrubbing my face with my hands, I’m not sure what the fuck to do. I’m not just pissed beyond belief with both Hallie and Piper, but I’m also overwhelmed learning I have a daughter. And I’m for sure still in shock. My hands are shaking as I remove them from my face.

  I take a deep breath. “I’d like to meet Ella, and I’m guessing I need to do a DNA test so we can start making her legally mine. No matter how pissed I am at you, and Piper, I’m not going to take that out on your… our... little girl. I have to work tonight and, I know this makes me sound like a complete asshole, but I need some time to process the fact that I have a daughter, along with everything else you’ve thrown at me. Not to mention I need a stiff drink.” Or four. I look down at my watch before it registers that I’m not wearing it. “I’m betting it's still too early for that, though.”

  She nods. “You’re right. It is a little early. How about you give me your number, and I can text you a couple pictures of Ella then set up a time where we can all meet?”

  “That sounds good.” I rattle off my number for her, but it still feels as if I’m disconnected from my brain.

  My phone buzzes in the other room.

  “That's probably me. I sent you a picture.” Hallie reaches for her purse. “I should get going.”

  She stands and heads for the door, stopping when she’s next to me, and places her hand on my arm. “Forest, thanks for hearing me out. And for not kicking me out before I could tell you everything.” She looks exhausted, and now that I’m this close to her, I can see the dark circles under her eyes that I hadn’t paid attention to when she first walked in.

  “You were expecting the worst weren’t you?” I smirk slightly.

  “Piper told me to stay optimistic, but considering everything…. It’s a lot. And normally you only ever hear the horror stories about situations like this. I didn’t want that for Ella. Or for you. So, thank you.” She rises up on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek. “Call me when you’re ready. I’ll show myself out.”

  Before I can respond, the door is closing softly behind her.

  “Fuck me!” I shout as I unconsciously move into the kitchen for my coffee.

  I have a kid. A fucking seven-year-old daughter. I’m going to fucking kill Piper. Danm... Nessa might beat me to it. Shit! I’m going to be a single parent. What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t have the slightest idea how to be a parent!

  The ringing of my cell phone brings me out of my thoughts. I need coffee, and I need it now. Whoever is calling can wait until I’ve had a cup. Or five.

  Chapter 2

  Hallie

  That went better than I expected. Piper was right... I am a fucking selfish bitch.

  I left Forest standing dumbfounded in his living room. I’m not even sure if it registered with him that I was leaving. By the end of the conversation, I’m not sure he was even listening to me. Piper warned me that might happen. She’d said there was a possibility he could just shut down. I can’t really blame him for it. I mean, it's not like he finds out every day he has a seven-year-old daughter he knew nothing about.

  Speaking of Piper, I need to call her and let her know I’ve spoken to Forest. And that he wasn’t too happy with his baby sister. As I walk down the stairs toward my truck, I pull out my cell and dial her.

  The phone rings four times before she answers. “How’d he take it?”

  “Well, hello to you too. Your brother asked a few questions. He’s a little pissed at you, I think, and when I left, he wasn’t talking at all,” I reply, pulling my keys out of my pocket and pushing the unlock button.

  There is silence, so I pull the phone from my ear to check if we’ve gotten disconnected- we haven’t. “Piper?”

  “Sorry, I uh… fuck,” Piper mutters. “Do you still want me to come up this weekend? If my brother is pissed at me, I’m not sure my presence will help, but it might draw Nessa’s attention away from the situation.”

  “Honestly, I think Ella would be happier if you were here. She hasn’t said anything, but I think she misses you and the team.”

  “I’m heading to practice now. I’ll talk to everyone and let them know I’m heading up today. I’d rather get the wrath of my siblings out of the way.” She groans.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to screw up the training schedule.” I open my door and slide into the seat, closing the door as I settle in.

  “I’m sure. I want Ella to feel safe. Besides, I’m the one that’s been telling her about Forest. Do you want me to bring anything up? Donuts? Or have you guys found a place for your weekly donut fix yet?” Piper responds.

  “You have a point. We haven’t had much of a chance to explore things. Between getting settled in the house, my new job, getting the legal papers started, and all the doctors’ appointments, we’ve been homebodies. Donuts would probably put a smile on Ella’s face, but don’t go overboard. Just grab two or something, and we’ll find a local place on Saturday.” My stomach twists at the thought that I won’t have our weekly donut dates much longer.

  Fuck! This has to be my punishment for not telling Forest about Ella from the beginning.

  “I’ll be there in about six hours. Love ya girl. I gotta go, just got to practice,” Piper announces and we disconnect.

  I toss my phone in a cup holder and start the engine. As I begin to back out of the parking spot an alarm sounds from my phone.

  Damnit, I didn’t bring my meds.

  I head back toward the house in the hopes that I get there before the nausea overtakes me. Halfway down the street I have to pull over, and I barely make it out of the vehicle before I’m throwing up.

  Shit! Today is going to be bad. I haven’t gotten sick that quickly in a while. Maybe today wasn’t the day to go see Forest.

  Slowly, I get back in my car and search for something to wipe off my face. Of course it’s in the very last spot I look. After I clean my face, I grab my water from the cup holder and take a swig. Once I’m resituated, I put the car in gear and drive home as fast as I legally can.

  I arrive home and sprint to my bathroom as the need to hurl consumes me. I make it to the toilet just in time. When everything has been expelled from my stomach, I clean myself up again and search for my anti-nausea pills.

  In the kitchen, I find the meds on the counter. Opening the bottle, I shake one pill into my hand before resealing the container. Walking over to the fridge, I grab a water bottle and pop the pill in my mouth, taking a swig of water with it. Glancing at the time on the mi
crowave, my tardiness dawns.

  Shit! I need to get to work.

  The drive over to the University, while slower than my mad dash home, is blissfully uneventful.

  Ella

  I swear this is the longest day of my life. Every time I look at the clock above the whiteboard it says almost the exact same time. I don’t want to be at school today. At all. I wanted to go with Mom. I overheard her talking to Aunt Piper when she thought I was in bed. Mom said she was going to see Aunt Piper’s brother, my daddy, and tell him about me. Before we moved here, Aunt Piper would tell me all about her brother.

  ‘Forest is a pretty cool dude for a brother. The best part is, he makes theses amazing desserts,’ she’d say, especially when she’d bake me chocolate chip cookies from a package.

  She’d tell me, “Your daddy would never make these. He’d make them from scratch. In fact, never tell him I made these for you. He might not let me in the kitchen again.” Then she'd wink. Aunt Piper doesn’t like to cook all that much.

  It’s been a month since I’ve seen Aunt Piper, or any of my friends. I had been looking forward to starting second grade with my friends from first grade. But now I’m here, and I haaate it. I don’t know anyone, and everyone keeps asking me about my daddy. It sucks. The only thing I know to tell them is that he’s a pastry chef. Aunt Piper made sure I knew that. She also showed me a picture of him from when they were kids. I liked the picture. I got to see my other aunt, too. She’s Daddy’s twin, though they don’t look like twins.

  Come on bell, ring already!!! I’m boooooored!

  “Class, let's line up for music,” my teacher tells us, and my classmates run to the door.

  I’m not in a hurry to get to music. I love to sing and play the piano, but lately it just makes me sad. Mom keeps saying she wants me to have a normal life. She always makes this gesture with her fingers when she says the normal part. Aunt Piper always tells her its effing stupid, that I don’t have a normal life and never will. I know she really wants to say a bad word, but she tries really hard not to when I might hear. It makes me laugh because then she’ll say, “Your daddy would kick my ass.”

 

‹ Prev