by Kris Bryant
“It’s just better this way.” She turns and skates away.
I haven’t been this embarrassed and angry in a long time. I make it out to my car before I completely melt down. I head back to my house to splash water on my face and reapply my makeup. My day’s just beginning. I have lunch later with Alison and Gloria and I plan on unleashing on Alison. Nobody gets to play with my heart. I stare at myself a long time. My eyes are slightly bloodshot, but the blotchiness on my face is gone. I’m done letting other people decide what’s best for me. I’m done getting my heart torn to pieces. From now on, my life and my emotions are mine to protect at all costs. I’m not doing this again. Next time, I won’t be so free with my heart.
* * *
“Hey, Gloria, now that we are done, can you give us a minute?” Our meeting just ended. A lot of decisions were made and now we have a plan. Gloria was right. Alison and I won’t have any more contact until the actual event.
“Of course.” Gloria catches my eye before she leaves the room. I nod to let her know it’s okay.
“What’s up?” Alison asks. She leans back in her chair and looks relaxed and happy. That’s about to change.
“Here’s what I’m trying to figure out. I know you want to be friends, but how do you expect me to be happy and upbeat when I know you approached Stone and told her to stay away from me? Tell me how we’re supposed to be friends after you do something like that?” I stand up and lean over the table. I can feel my face flush with anger. Her face is the exact opposite of mine. She’s pale and visibly distraught.
“I just want what’s best for you, Hayley. Please try to understand that.” She reaches out to me.
I recoil. “Why does every single person in my life think they know what is best for me? I, Hayley Sims, know what’s best for me. Not you, not Stone. Not anyone. So here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to date who I want, when I want, and you’re not going to get involved. The days of you dictating everything about me are over. Remember that. Stay out of my life, Alison.”
I storm out of the conference room. Alison can find her own way out. I slam the door to my office and sit on the couch. I need to settle down. My one o’clock is going to be here in a few minutes and I can’t be worked up. Babies sense stress and I need to make sure it’s out of my body. I shake my limbs and take several long, deep breaths. I will the negativity to leave my body. Even though my heart hurts at my loss, I feel one hundred times better after confronting both Stone and Alison. At least I know. I’m not what Stone wants, but now I can close that chapter in my life.
Chapter Thirty-five
“Honey, are you coming Wednesday night or Thursday morning? I need to know when to get your room ready.” Thanksgiving is this week and my mother has been pressuring me to give her an answer.
“I’ll head down Thursday morning. Do you need me to bring anything?” I know my mom ordered everything in advance, but it’s still nice to offer.
“No, we’re fine. Just yourself. We’ll see you by noon, okay?” I guess I should be happy I don’t have to worry about baking something, but I hate showing up empty-handed. I could go up to the orchard and pick out some apples for a pie, but I have a fear of running into Stone. If I go when I know she’s at practice, our paths shouldn’t cross. And those pies I made were delicious. Even if my mom is on one of her crazy diets, my dad will appreciate it. I decide to check my ingredients. I only need apples. I look up the orchard’s holiday schedule and find that they’re closing early tomorrow so I should probably get up there now. I grab my keys and head out, trying not to second guess my decision. Stone won’t be there. She’s at practice. I find myself repeating that, yet I’m still disappointed when I don’t see her SUV in the parking lot.
It’s crowded because of the holiday, but I know exactly what I want. I grab a basket and pick the same three kinds of apples as I used before. A very attractive and very tall woman motions me to her register when I’m next in line.
“Did you find everything you were looking for?” she asks. I thank her and nod, anxious to get out of here. “Here’s your card back, Ms. Sims. Oh, wait. Are you Elizabeth’s therapist? The one who made the apple pie? It was so good.”
For fuck’s sake. I really didn’t want this to happen either. I wanted Brian to check me out like he did before so I could go home unscathed, undetected, and completely miserable.
“Yes. Hi, I’m Hayley. I’m glad you liked the pie. I absolutely adore your orchard.” Panic sets in as she stares at me with her sapphire eyes. They aren’t as bright as Stone’s, but just as intense. What does her mother know about me? About us?
“Thank you. You did a remarkable job with her. She came home after the first day raving about you. You put her in her place and earned her respect from the very beginning,” she says.
“I’m glad she’s back on the ice and doing well.”
“She’s so happy to be back doing what she loves. We owe you so much.”
I’m pretty sure at this point she doesn’t know about us so I breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank you, but I really enjoy working with patients and getting them back doing what they love. Stone was a good patient.” Her mom rolls her eyes at me. I laugh. “Seriously, she did everything right and I have no complaints.” Except for the whole let’s fuck and never talk again thing.
“If you stick around a few more minutes, she should be here,” she says.
My whole body forgets how to move. I fumble around trying to gather my stuff so I can get the hell out of there. Why doesn’t Stone have practice tonight? The door seems so far away and Stone’s really nice mother is in no hurry to end this conversation even though the line to check out is getting longer and longer.
“As much as I’d love to see her, I really need to get home and bake pies for Thanksgiving. I have a full day tomorrow and then I’m off to see my parents.” Why am I telling this woman my life story?
“Of course. I’ll tell Elizabeth you said hello.”
I wish she wouldn’t. I head out the door and double time it to my car. I pull out of the parking lot right when Stone pulls in. She looks confused. I break eye contact to turn into traffic when it clears. Even though I start to shake, I’m proud of myself for being able to leave without showing any emotion when our eyes met.
* * *
The drive to my parents’ house is peaceful. I listen to soundtracks and sing at the top of my lungs. By the time I pull into the driveway, I’m ready for a nap. My mother won’t allow it and puts me to work in the kitchen. We all know the meal is pre-made, but she wants to serve it in her dishes. I think it’s a waste of clean plates and servers, but she’s all about making it look nice. Truthfully, my father would be okay with a pizza. It’s hard to be traditional when your family consists of only three people. The last few years, Alison at least helped even out the numbers.
“What’s Alison doing this holiday?” My mother doesn’t waste time. Dad shoots Mom a look. Apparently, she’s not as concerned about my feelings as he is. I shrug at her. I honestly don’t know if they have stayed in contact.
“I don’t know. She didn’t clue me in the last time we talked.” I sound bitchy.
“She’s probably working at the hospital now that…” Mom’s voice trails off. “You know what I mean.”
“Well, one day soon she’ll find someone and then we won’t have to worry about her.” I really need to snap out of this mood. My parents have always cared about Alison. I know it’s hard for them to move on. They’re still working through the break up.
“We’re still adjusting, honey. She’s a nice girl and we want to make sure she isn’t alone during the holidays,” my dad says.
“I know. I’m sorry I’m being such an ass about it all.” I won’t tell them about Alison trying to control my life even after being out of it for some time now. I don’t want to have to explain why I got into another relationship so quickly, and I don’t want to explain why it ended just as fast.
Seeing Stone in the parking lot w
as harder than I thought. I’m glad I’m away for the next few days even if I will be bored stiff. I purposely left my phone in the car. I don’t want to stare at my phone the entire time I’m here, waiting for her to reach out to me.
Our early dinner is perfect because we eat, clean up, and nap. This life is simple. I read while my dad watches the football games. My mom knits for a bit, then organizes photos. Tomorrow will be a different story. We’ll get up early and shop, then I’ll head home. One night with my parents is about all I can stand. I get why Stone was going stir crazy at the orchard. As emotionally chaotic as my life is, it’s still mine and I already miss it. Plus, it’s hard to wallow in self-pity when my mom is watching me like a hawk. I think she’s waiting for me to fall apart so she can swoop in and save me. Little does she know that if I do, it won’t be because of Alison, but because of a certain tall, blue-eyed hockey player who has gotten under my skin and into my heart.
Chapter Thirty-six
Gloria pops her head into my office before heading out to an off-site meeting. “We have a field trip Friday afternoon so don’t even think of making plans.”
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“I can’t tell you. That would ruin all of the fun. Dress warm and casually. We’re taking the bus out,” She quickly exits my office.
We rarely do field trips, but when we do, it’s usually for the children. Gloria must have arranged the trip with all of my afternoon patients or rescheduled them. I’m intrigued. I call Matt, but he either doesn’t know, or is keeping his mouth shut. I shrug. It’s not as if I have plans Friday night so getting out of the office sounds like fun. My life has been a complete bore. I’ve promised myself that at the start of the new year, I’m going to go online and sign up for a dating site. At least online I can be choosy and somewhat discreet. It’s too bad Rachel lives so far away. Not that we would date, but she has a ton of friends she could set me up with and she could take me to places to meet potential girlfriends. Three years is a long time to be out of the dating pool.
“Baby Ava is here,” Tina announces.
No matter what my mood is, knowing that a happy baby is waiting to play with me, puts a smile on my face. I’ll be able to easily forget my problems for the next forty-five minutes. Ava’s doing remarkably well, eager to please me and her parents. I have complete faith that she’ll catch up to the other babies in no time. Now that I have PT with two infants, the desire to have a family is starting to pull at me a little. At this point, I’d be okay having a child on my own. I have a great job, an understanding boss, and I could easily bring my baby to work if I had to. Gloria has made it clear that even though she doesn’t take care of patients, she is more than willing to take care of babies. Ava makes all sorts of noises when I walk into the room. She’s not talking yet, but she sure has a lot to babble about.
“Your boss said Matt’s going to work with Ava on Friday,” Marti says.
I try to not show my surprise. “We have a field trip Friday afternoon. I trust Matt with my patients. He’s very good and we are in constant communication. He’s great with babies, too.” I call him over to meet the Sullivans so their minds are put at ease. Charming as always, he wins them over in no time, including Ava who happily reaches out to him.
“She’s improved so much not only with her PT, but socially as well. Thank you so much for all that you’ve done,” Marti says.
“This is all her. She’s at the pivotal age where she’s starting to understand things better so she wants to participate more.” Of course, if they want me to take the credit, I totally will. “In a few months, she won’t need Elite. She’ll be on her own, walking and running around with the rest of the toddlers.”
“We can only hope. Have fun on your field trip Friday and we’ll see you next week.” Marti dances out the door with Ava who is happily squealing. I’m sad I won’t see her until next week.
“I can’t wait until I get to work with babies, too,” Matt says.
I feel guilty for taking the infants, but with seniority, I automatically get them if my schedule allows. “I think the next infant we get as a patient, you get to work with him or her.”
The smile on his face couldn’t be any bigger. “That would be great. Thanks. And I promise to take extra care of Ava Friday while you’re doing whatever you’re off doing.”
I shrug again. As much as I’m trying not to think about Friday, my curiosity is definitely piqued.
* * *
I pull out my favorite sweater and slip it on over my turtleneck. Gloria told me to dress warmly and casually. I’ll probably roast in the office, but at least I won’t be cold during our secret getaway this afternoon. I pour my second cup of coffee and head out. I want to get this day done. I’m looking forward to my weekend of online Christmas shopping and excessive napping. We haven’t seen snow yet, but I know it’s coming soon. I probably should invest in snow removal equipment or get to know my neighbors better and find a teenager who is willing to shovel when the time comes.
“Are you ready for some fun?” Gloria unlocks the door for me. She never beats me in. I look at my watch to make sure I’m not late.
“What are you doing here so early?”
She stands back so I can slip past her. “I want to get this day started. Breakfast is in my office today.”
“Okay, let me put my stuff away and I’ll be there in a second.” I set my messenger bag on the couch and turn on my computer to check my emails. I’ve stopped looking for personal emails from Stone. At least not first thing.
Gloria peeks into my office. “Bring your coffee cup.”
“Say it isn’t so.” I stand up when she nods. I grab my cup and follow her to the corner office where a brand new Keurig sits on her credenza. “It’s beautiful. Let’s break it in.”
She opens the drawer where there are several boxes of different flavors of coffee. “I’m pretty sure I owe you all of these.”
“Stop. You do enough for me. Nobody’s keeping tabs.” I make a cup of medium roast and sit on the couch next to her.
“I still owe you a nice dinner and some fancy chocolates or something ridiculous like that,” she says.
“What are you talking about?” I laugh.
“For taking Stone as a patient. You said I had to take you out and spend a lot of money on you.” Nice moment gone.
I keep a smile pasted on my face though. I’m trying to get better at forgetting Stone, but it’s hard when I’m not expecting her to be mentioned by others around me. “Stop. Not at all. I was just doing my job.”
“Well, I understand she’s kicking ass at hockey so you did everything I asked you to do. So pick a night and we’ll go out. Oh, and get this. Stone Orchard is donating five thousand dollars to the Holiday fund-raiser event.”
“Shut up. Are you serious?” I’m in shock. “That’s fantastic.” I wonder if Stone had anything to do with that donation or if she even knows about it.
“That’s all because of you. You did more for Stone than I did. I’m sure she and her parents are forever in debt to you and us.”
“I’m just happy she’s doing as well as she is. I had faith in her, but her comeback was all determination and hustle. I was just there showing her the ropes.” I really want to change the subject. I notice a white pastry bag on her desk. “Is that what I think it is?” I point to it and smile at her.
“Cinnamon donuts fresh from Lamont’s Bakery.”
“I’m so in love with you right now.” I follow her to the desk and wait for her to dole them out. She digs up napkins and offers me the bag first. I take a fresh, still warm donut from the top. “You know, I was losing weight there for awhile, but this decadence a few times a week is starting to add up.” That doesn’t stop me from taking a giant bite. I moan in culinary appreciation.
“Best donuts in town.”
“Best donuts in the world,” I say. We eat in silence. Sort of. There’s a lot of lip smacking and soft moans. If anybody were to hear us, they would think
we were making out. “So are you going to tell me what we’re doing this afternoon?”
“Absolutely not. I’m glad you are dressed appropriately.”
This is the first time we are doing a winter field trip. Most of our trips are spring and summer. The small bus we have is used to pick up patients who otherwise wouldn’t have a ride to Elite. Tom, our bus driver, stays pretty busy most days. He’s a giant man with an even bigger heart. It’ll be fun to see how the kids take to him.
“Who all is going on this trip?” That seems like an easy enough question that won’t reveal too much.
“Most of your patients, a few of Matt’s. And a few parents to help us out. Now quit asking questions and let’s eat another donut.” I reach out before she even gets the last word out. I agree. Today should just be brainless and fun. “So this morning just get your paperwork caught up and we’ll meet at noon in the lobby.” We end up talking for half an hour before the rest of the employees start trickling in. That’s my cue. I stand to head back to my office.
“Thanks for the donuts and coffee. Congrats on the beautiful coffee maker. I’m jealous now.”
“What’s mine is yours. And we’re still going to do dinner. Pick a night next week, and I’ll pick the place.” I shake my head at her, then nod. No use arguing with the boss.
Chapter Thirty-seven
Gloria calls my office phone from the parking lot. “There aren’t enough seats on the bus. Do you mind driving separately?” The bus seats fourteen and there are fifteen of us.