Of course, whether or not that was going to happen was another thing entirely, she admitted as, toilette complete, she rinsed out the washcloth and hung it on the towel rack. Sterling might take in old horses and remember to buy flowers and, if Maxine were to be believed, do all sorts of other kind and charitable things, but that didn’t make him easy to know. On the contrary, it seemed to Susan that he was very private, rather guarded, and more than a little alone. How she was going to get past that guard remained an unknown.
It was obvious she couldn’t depend on animal attraction, she decided with a wistful smile as she regarded herself in the mirror. Not unless he turned out to be interested in skinny, big-eyed women with too much hair.
Shaking her head—just once it would be kind of nice to be regarded as a sex object—she padded over and opened the door, only to gasp as she found herself face-to-face with Sterling.
“Oh!” Unnerved, she clapped a hand to her chest. “You startled me!”
“Sorry.” His polite but distant tone suggested he was in no mood to chat. And on some level she supposed that was understandable, given that she was blocking his access to the facilities.
Still, she remained rooted in place. And though she tried to tell herself it was because he was standing directly in her path, she knew that was only an excuse.
The real reason she didn’t move was that she was so preoccupied with staring she couldn’t remember how to. And that was because all Sterling had on was a pair of low-slung navy pajama bottoms.
She swallowed, trying to get her stunned brain to function. Yet as she eyed his bare, bronzed chest, all she could think was that for a man who worked in an office, he certainly had a lot of muscles. “I didn’t expect to see you,” she heard herself babble. “I just assumed you’d left for work already.”
“It’s Saturday.”
“Oh. Of course. I didn’t think.” The understatement of the century. Yet at the same time her mind was facing as she suddenly wondered what it would feel like to touch him. Would his skin be as taut and smooth as it looked? Would the vee of fine black hair that stretched between his collarbones and narrowed to a thin black line that streaked downward be soft or crinkly? She swallowed as her whole body seemed to flush. “I... I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No.”
“Oh, good. That’s good.” Through a supreme effort of will, she dragged her gaze away from the washboard ripple of his stomach. Unfortunately she was just in time to see his gaze flick over her, reminding her with an uncomfortable jolt that he wasn’t the only one who was underdressed. “I suppose you’d like me to get out of your way,” she said self-consciously.
“That’d be nice.” He stepped back to let her pass.
Susan took the hint. “No problem.” She started forward. “I’ll see you later then.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
To her surprise, he sounded almost surly. Even so, she managed a smile, trying to appear nonchalant as every little hair on her body tingled with electric awareness as she brushed past him.
Thankfully she didn’t have to go more than a few feet before she heard the door bang shut—which was a darn good thing because her knees felt incredibly weak. She rocked to a halt, wondering what on earth was the matter with her.
After all, it wasn’t as if she’d never seen a man’s bare chest before. She had. Lots of times. And just because they’d all been pictures in books from the library, that didn’t mean a thing. One bare chest was the same as another.
Really? Then why are you hyperventilating?
She wasn’t, she told herself as she struggled to slow her ragged breathing. It was just...she wasn’t a morning person. Plus she was still getting used to her new surroundings. And, given the direction of her earlier thoughts, she’d been understandably nonplussed when she’d opened that door and found Sterling standing half-naked smack-dab in front of her. All she needed were a few seconds to catch her breath and gather her composure and she’d be as good as new...
In the other room, she heard the shower come on. Out of nowhere, she had a sudden image of the stranger who was her husband shucking off his clinging pajama bottoms and stepping beneath the pounding spray. She envisioned water beading his face, running in transparent rivulets down his strong shoulders and sculptured pecs, sheeting his flat stomach and cascading onto his big, muscular thighs...
Oh, my.
Heat suffused her cheeks and she bolted for her bedroom, hastily slamming the connecting door behind her. Making her way to the couch, she collapsed bonelessly onto the cushions.
All right. So she’d been lying to herself. Sterling’s chest wasn’t like all the others. And there was a big difference between real life and a picture book. What’s more, she’d been caught totally unprepared for her reaction to it. But then, how could she have imagined that sudden, powerful longing to touch him that had come over her? Or known that the sight of his bare skin would make her feel hot, shaky, confused and needy all at the same time?
She couldn’t. Yet that was no reason to act like some giddy, goggle-eyed teenager. She was twenty-eight, had a degree in library science, was an expectant mother for heaven’s sake!
Besides, she’d just been handed an opportunity, she realized, slowly sitting upright. As Sterling had pointed out, it was Saturday—and presumably even tycoons took the weekend off. Surely Sterling would have some free time today—some of which they might be able to spend getting to know each other better. All she had to do was screw up her courage and ask.
But first, she had to stop having these sexual thoughts about him. It was one thing to find him attractive, another to allow her imagination to run wild the way she just had. Given that Sterling didn’t show the slightest sign of interest in her in return, there was simply too much at stake to allow her vivid romantic fantasies to get out of hand.
They were married. They were going to be parents. Hopefully they could learn to be friends—and that had to be her first priority. Which meant that from now she had to conduct herself like a grown-up. She had to be composed, forthright and self-possessed.
She took a deep breath. She could do it, she told herself firmly, lifting her chin. She could. All she had to remember was that she wasn’t doing it for herself. She was doing it for the baby’s sake.
With that thought staunchly in mind, she went to dress.
Sterling tensed at the soft knock on his bedroom door. He didn’t need to glance at his watch to know it was way too early for his caller to be Maxine, who only worked half days on Saturday. “Who is it?” he called, even though the answer was obvious.
“Susan.”
Terrific. A vision of the way she’d looked in the bathroom earlier—all soft curves and long legs—flashed through his mind. He pushed it away. “I’ll be with you in a minute.”
“Okay.”
He finished buttoning his shirt. Then, shoving his shirttail into his jeans as he went, he strode to the door and opened it. “What can I do for you?”
“Oh—Hi. I was just wondering...” Her voice trailed off and her eyes went wide, zeroing in on his waistband.
He tried to decide what her problem was. Glancing down, he got an answer as he realized his hand was still in his pants arranging things. He froze, only to find as the seconds ticked past that her attention was having a totally unwanted effect on him. Jolted, he hastily yanked up his zipper while he still could. “You were wondering what?” he demanded.
Susan’s gaze shot to his face. She stared blankly at him. “Oh! If I could speak to you,” she said finally, color blooming in her cheeks.
“Yeah, I guess so. Come on in.” He strode back across the room and ducked into the walk-in closet, damned if he was going to be embarrassed. “I’ve got some business to take care of, but I can spare you a few minutes,” he told her as he reemerged with his boots. It wasn’t really a lie. If he wanted to arrange for lunch and a poker game with some of the guys at the Cattleman’s Club, he needed to get on it before everyone had made plans for t
he day.
Her face fell. “Oh.”
“There a problem?” One after the other, he slid his feet into the ornately tooled leather boots, then stamped down on the heels.
“No. Not a problem. I mean, not exactly. I just thought—that is, I hoped—” She broke off. Taking a calming breath, she sent him an apologetic smile, and tried again. “I wondered if we could spend some time together today,” she said hopefully, fixing her big brown eyes on him.
Well, he’d asked for it. He shook his head. “Sorry. Like I said, I’m on my way out.”
“Perhaps I could go with you—”
“No. Sorry. It won’t work.”
“All right.” She considered a moment. “Maybe we could get together later, then? I could fix dinner and—”
“No. It’s real nice of you to offer, but I don’t know how late I’ll be. I’d hate to put you to all that trouble and then get hung up.”
“Oh. Well, perhaps we could make plans for tomorrow.”
“’Fraid not.” He scooped his wallet off the dresser and slid it into his back pocket. “I’m booked pretty solid for the next few days.”
She bit her lip, considered him, then seemed to come to some sort of decision. “Perhaps I’m way off base,” she said carefully, “but if this is about what happened Wednesday night, I apologize. I didn’t mean to offend you. I really enjoyed talking to you, and I never intended to fall asleep, much less that you’d have to carry me into the house—”
“I know that,” he said sharply, stung that she’d think he was so petty he’d hold something like that against her. Even if he did, though not in the way she meant. But then, he could hardly tell her that it was his libido, not his ego, that was the problem, could he? Much less that he couldn’t forget—or forgive—that inexplicable burst of tenderness he’d felt there at the end.
He picked up his car keys, abruptly out of patience. “Look,” he said gruffly, “forget Wednesday night, okay? It was no big deal.”
She nodded, but he could see she didn’t believe him. Still, she managed to dredge up a game little smile. “Of course. I don’t know what made me think...” She swallowed. “I’m sorry. It must be hormones. I don’t seem to be quite myself lately.”
“Like I said, it’s no big deal.”
“But it is,” she contradicted. “I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and I want our baby to be happy. Don’t you?”
Although he was damned if he understood her logic, that last was a no-brainer. “Sure.”
“Then don’t you think we owe it to ourselves to get to know each other? So that by the time the baby comes, we’re at least comfortable with each other?”
Fat chance of that happening, he thought instantly. Yet as soon as he gave the question some actual thought, he had to admit she had a point.
Because unlike his own mother, Susan seemed to feel there was more to being a parent than merely providing food and shelter. And it was a pretty good hunch she wasn’t going to disappear into her room and stay there once she gave birth. Like it or not, he was going to have to deal with her—one way or another.
So why hadn’t this occurred to him before?
The minute he stopped to think about it the answer was obvious. He’d been so focused on his immediate goals, on securing his rights and not letting her get to him, that he hadn’t thought about the future beyond his vow that things would be better for his child than they had been for him.
Yet he could suddenly see that in order to do that, it might help to be on more than just speaking terms with the kid’s mother.
Not that he had to do it this instant, he temporized. He and Susan had nearly seven months before they became a family. There was no reason to rush things.
“Look, you’ve got a point,” he said, pleased at how reasonable he sounded. “We probably do need to get better acquainted. But I just can’t do it today, okay? Give me some time to clear my schedule and then we’ll sit down and make some plans.”
Her shoulders slumped. Yet he had to give her credit; while clearly disappointed, she didn’t pout. “Of course. Whatever you say.” She took a step back toward the door. “I guess I’d better clear out so you can get going. I’ll see you later.” Conjuring up a smile that didn’t come close to reaching her eyes, she turned and hurried out the door.
Sterling frowned. He knew it was ridiculous, but his triumph suddenly seemed sort of hollow. As a matter of fact, he felt a lot like a bully who’d just kicked a puppy.
He tried to shrug it off, telling himself it was Susan’s own fault. If she’d just left him alone, given him some space instead of showing up and making demands, everything would’ve been fine.
But no. She’d had to press the issue. First she’d disrupted his morning by sashaying out of the bathroom and staring at him as if she’d never seen a man before. Then she’d followed it up by claiming she’d like to spend time with him.
Yeah, no wonder you’re pissed. What an injustice. Not only does your not so plain Jane wife apparently find you attractive, but she’s actually got the gall to want to get to know you. What diabolical thing will she think of next?
He reached up and tried to rub away some of the tension that was suddenly pinching his neck. Okay. When you put it like that, maybe he was being a little unreasonable. It probably wasn’t fair to lay all the blame at Susan’s door. But so far this wasn’t turning out to be much of a marriage of convenience, dammit. Not when he felt under siege in his own house.
He just hadn’t expected her to be so...here. Yet in a mere four days she’d made her presence felt in a host of small ways. Her razor and shampoo were in his shower. Her hairbrush and makeup decorated the bathroom counter. Her books had sprouted up like mushrooms all over the house, while her scent seemed permanently lodged in his head. Hell, he’d even found her swimsuit hanging next to his in the cabana when he’d gone for a midnight swim.
Besides, it wasn’t as if he was trying to hurt her. This whole thing had just happened so fast he was still trying to get his bearings.
Yet as he started down the hall, he found he couldn’t forget the forlorn look that had been on her face when she’d left his room.
He sighed. He supposed it couldn’t hurt to check on her, just to make sure she was feeling all right.
Before he could change his mind, he stopped, backtracked and knocked, wondering what the hell he was going to say.
After a longish pause, the door finally opened. Susan looked out, clearly surprised to see him. “I thought you’d be gone by now.” Although she smiled, her eyes were suspiciously red-rimmed.
“I’m on my way.” To his relief, inspiration struck. “I just wanted to let you know I’m taking the truck, so if you want to use the Caddy to go shopping or something, you’re welcome to it.”
“Oh.”
“The keys are in the kitchen, hanging by the door.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” He glanced at his watch and told himself he really should get going. “So, what do you think you’ll do today?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I suppose I’ll read.”
“Huh.” Not that it was any of his business, but it didn’t sound too inspiring. And now that he stopped to think about it, he didn’t particularly like the thought of her here all alone. What if something happened? “Maybe you could call a girlfriend and go out to lunch.”
She nodded politely. “Maybe.”
They regarded each other, the seconds spinning out before Susan conjured up another strained smile. “Well, thanks for letting me know about the car,” she said with false cheeriness. “And good luck at your meeting.”
To his amazement, she began to close the door. “Hey, hold on.” He reached out to stop her.
She looked at him questioningly.
“If you still want to come with me, you can,” he blurted out.
“Really?” She stared at him as if she wasn’t sure she’d heard right. Not that he blamed her. He was having a hard time believin
g it himself.
“Yeah.” He ignored the little voice in his head demanding to know what in the hell he was doing.
She brightened. “I—I’d like that.”
“You’ll probably be bored,” he warned.
“Oh, no. I’m sure it’ll be interesting.” She touched her fingertips self-consciously to the tender skin beneath her eyes. “Just let me wash my face and grab my purse.”
“No rush. Take your time. I’ll go pull the truck around.”
“Okay.”
He turned away, suddenly desperate to escape.
“Sterling?”
She laid her hand on his forearm and he jerked around, frustratingly aware of the burst of awareness her touch was causing him. “What?”
“Thanks.” When she smiled this time, her face had a real glow of happiness.
“No problem.” He gave her a nod, then hightailed it for the stairs, asking himself again what the hell had just happened.
But no matter what kind of spin he tried to put on it, the answer came back the same. Although he could hardly believe it, it seemed he’d just asked Susan to go along on an appointment he didn’t have.
Five
“I know it’s none of my business,” Susan said as she and Sterling drove away from McKisky’s Wholesale Feed, their latest stop of the morning, “but is there something wrong with Mrs. McKisky?”
Sterling shot her a quick, guarded look. “Like what?”
She considered her answer. “I don’t know exactly. She just seemed so surprised to see you. And then, when you gave her that huge order for feed...it was as if she couldn’t decide whether to be shocked or pleased.”
“Huh,” he said neutrally, carefully checking the nonexistent traffic before swinging the big pickup truck into the oncoming lane to avoid a tumbleweed that had blown onto the road. “She seemed okay to me.”
Susan studied him from under her lashes. Although she was enjoying their outing, she had to admit they hadn’t spent the morning even close to how she’d expected. Given Sterling’s initial reluctance to have her accompany him, she’d just assumed his plans for the day included meeting with high-powered associates or scouting out some business he wanted to acquire or something else equally important and millionairelike.
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