Pulse of Heroes

by A. Jacob Sweeny

  “This is so beautiful. Are they real pearls?” she asked.

  “They are. Rare black ones. I harvested them myself.” Elliot loved the way Michelle’s face was glowing at that moment.

  “I would be proud to wear them tonight,” she said, her eyes twinkling with pride.

  “Not just tonight. Whenever you want. It’s a gift. I have had these for so many years that I forgot all about them until I saw you in this dress. If you look closely, you will see they have shades of deep purple mixed in with the grays and blacks, just like that fabric.” Michelle was at a loss for words and told him that it was too much. She couldn’t really keep something so precious. In a serious voice, Elliot asked her to hand him the necklace back and she feared that she had offended him. When he got up from his seat without saying a word, she felt her heart in her throat. But instead of saying anything, Elliot walked around the table to where she sat and gently draped the pearls around her neck. They felt smooth and sensual against her skin.

  “Turn around, let me see you,” he said, tugging at the back of her chair. Michelle stood and turned to face him, still feeling a little uncomfortable. “You are a work of art, you know,” he said stretching his hand out for her to grab.

  The evening was warm and balmy and the sun was just about to set behind the western hills. On the way to the car, Elliot noticed a bead of sweat rolling from the back of Michelle’s neck and down the middle of her back.

  “You’re hot?” he asked her, and Michelle told him that she was a bit warm since the dress was tight, and all the makeup she was wearing didn’t help. Elliot looked back towards the restaurant and noticed an elderly couple emerging. He took Michelle’s hand and led her towards the rear of the parking lot. He then hopped over the low chain link fence onto the dirt ravine. Before Michelle could protest he simply picked her up from her waist, pulled her over the fence, and began carrying her down the hill in his arms. Michelle squealed and laughed, asking him what he was doing, but he didn’t answer. Once Elliot was satisfied that they were well hidden from view, he set Michelle back on her feet.

  “Now what?” Michelle asked him, fixing her hair. Suddenly Elliot’s eyes changed color and became bright and his entire expression turned serious. Michelle wasn’t sure if she should worry, but before she had a chance to ask him if he was all right she was engulfed by a soft gentle breeze that encircled her entire body and made her hair gently blow this way and that.

  “You look like a goddess coming down the mountain,” Elliot said, his eyes still blazing in blues and greens. He turned his attention to something to the left of Michelle. “No, not a goddess yet. Close your eyes.” Elliot motioned his hand back and forth from Michelle to a small band of fireflies that he spotted a little ways up the hill. By the time he told Michelle to open her eyes, the glowing creatures were caught in the breeze that still encircled her. “Now you definitely look like a goddess,” Elliot stated proudly. Michelle looked around her in amazement. She had never seen a more beautiful thing in her life. She raised her arms and spun around on her feet. Elliot felt how ecstatic Michelle was, and to see her like that made him feel wonderfully happy. Happy? He couldn’t remember the last time that word purely described his state of mind. Michelle didn’t want to step out of the fantasy that Elliot had created for her, but she wanted him close by. She reached out for him and he stepped into her glowing circle, which then engulfed them both as they held one another.

  “Elliot,” Michelle said, holding him tightly with her cheek against his jacket. She lifted her face to gaze into his eyes. “I think…” She couldn’t say it. She buried her face in his chest. Elliot lifted Michelle’s face to his and kissed her again. His eyes were still brightly lit and Michelle felt them piercing her soul. Elliot knew exactly what Michelle wanted to say, but he wasn’t going to make her if she wasn’t ready. If she did say it, he knew it would be coming from the purest and most hidden secret place within her heart. He had gone and done it again, and he was excited just as much as he was nervous. Michelle was also very tense and she couldn’t understand why her mouth and lips were not behaving normally. Every time she tried to speak they shook uncontrollably. It was as if they had forgotten how to talk, how to form sound. Why was she so scared she thought, feeling almost embarrassed by her silence? Then it all came out in one breath, like a sneeze or a hiccup. She looked up at the most beautiful face she had ever seen and just blurted it out, “I love you.”

  By the time Michelle and Elliot arrived at the Prom, the chemistry between them was heavy with static and intensity. After Michelle had bared her heart to him, she had only half expected him to do the same, yet she was still disappointed when Elliot told her that he felt the same way, rather than voice his own feelings. He had said just enough, and he knew it, but nothing else came out of him, even though he made an attempt to say something more.

  Elliot held Michelle’s hand all the way to the hotel, and when she saw the familiar faces milling about from outside the lobby’s heavy glass doors, she felt strangely disconnected from the entire scene. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to be there anymore. She looked to Elliot for encouragement.

  “You ok?” he asked her.

  “We don’t really have to go in. I feel bad dragging you here,” she said apprehensively.

  In all honesty, Elliot would have loved to just turn around and walk away from the charade, but he had promised her and he would never backtrack on his words.

  “How about we just go in for a little while and if you still want to leave we will,” he suggested, squeezing her hand. Michelle’s grasp tightened around Elliot’s fingers. She was nervous, but she wasn’t sure why. The impeccably dressed older doorman at the top of the stairs smiled at Michelle with approval and held the door open, ushering them both inside. He complimented Michelle, telling her that her dress was exquisite. Elliot smiled proudly, although Michelle was taken aback by all the positive attention she felt as soon as she entered the hall.

  The room was grand, with large crystal chandeliers hanging from amazingly high ceilings. The air smelled of perfume and freshly cut flowers and the lights were dimmed to a golden yellow, giving the room the effect of a candlelit ambiance. Everywhere, girls sashayed in their dresses while their well-dressed dates walked extra straight in their stiff suits. When other girls caught glimpses of Elliot, Michelle saw them react in exactly the same way that she had when she first laid eyes on him. Elliot ignored the staring eyes. He was used to it and had no interest in fluffing his ego. His main concern was Michelle, and he demonstrated that by putting his hand around her or whispering in her ear every so often. Naturally, Michelle compared herself to the other girls, looking for the validation that she fit in, at least from the outside. Some of the girls did wear long gowns, but they were in bright blues, pinks and reds, and none had the sophistication of hers. Other girls’ skirts were so short that they managed to shock even Michelle. They wanted attention and definitely got it. Elliot wondered what Michelle was so mesmerized by, so he followed her gaze to a cluster of guys surrounding one girl in a bright yellow mini-dress that was riding so high up her thighs that it looked like a fancy shirt. And to make the garment even more provocative, it had two slits that exposed the girl’s hips almost up to her waist. Michelle was surprised to feel Elliot’s lips on the back of her neck, and she grabbed his arms from behind as he pulled her closer to him. Michelle couldn’t have asked for a better response.

  “There will always be women like that around. They think that their only way of attracting attention is through displaying their sex. Remember how I told you that humans are more than just animals? She, over there, is reducing herself to an animal level, and all she’s attracting is the animal part of those boys.” Michelle looked at Elliot in surprise. How did he know how to say just the right thing at exactly the right time? “You are so much more beautiful than her. You’re a goddess, remember?” He kissed her hand. Someone called Michelle’s name and she looked up to see Anna and Marcus making their way acro
ss the room. Elliot and Marcus exchanged greetings while the girls complimented one another on their gowns. Then the girls left Elliot and Marcus behind to rendezvous with Samantha for an expedition to the ladies’ room. Rachael was already in there and it felt like a small private party.

  “Where on earth did you find this?” Rachael asked Michelle looking at the black pearls around her neck. Michelle told her it was discounted at some store in the city, but deep inside she was smitten with satisfaction. A punky song came on over the speaker system outside and Samantha strained to hear it over all the noise the girls were making. It was something about the singer being in love with a girl who lived at the bottom of a septic tank. When Sam realized it was in fact the song she thought it was she grabbed Michelle’s hand and dragged her out of the bathroom, hollering at the rest of them to follow her because she wanted to dance, and not just by herself. The girls spilled out of the ladies room and headed towards their dates, who by then were clustered around the drink table. None of the guys looked very comfortable and Elliot looked no different. While everyone else headed to the dance floor Michelle asked Elliot what they had all talked about, and Elliot told her that lucky for him the conversation was about a sports team that Ando followed regularly, so he was able to keep up. Michelle watched her friends dancing, and Elliot asked her if she wanted to join in, even though he dreaded the idea. When Michelle saw his pained expression she burst out laughing.

  “What? I’m serious,” he said, trying to keep a straight face.

  “I just can’t see you out there ‘getting down’,” she gasped for air in-between her laughs.

  “Whatever. You get enough drink in me… and it’ll be a whole different story.” Michelle told him that he was silly, and besides her dress was much too tight for that kind of dancing. The song ended abruptly and a large group of sweaty students descended on the refreshments. As Michelle and Elliot fought their way out from in between them, they ended up practically bumping face-to-face with Tim and his date. The word ‘awkward’ couldn’t have been better used to describe any other situation. Michelle looked up at the handsomely dressed Tim and she really did try her best to smile, but the corners of her mouth wouldn’t budge. Tim was as much at a loss for words as she was, but his eyes didn’t lie. He was upset with her and she knew it. Tim looked at Michelle, then at Elliot and back to Michelle again. To make things worse, his date, a girl Michelle recognized as one of the girls from his Fort Bragg group, was clearly beginning to get angry over the unmistakable tension. Elliot was not above bravado and as much as he tried to subdue his territorial feelings over Michelle, his chest filled with air and his jaw clenched ever so slightly. Michelle felt his grip tightening around her fingers and she knew that she had to defuse the tension at once.

  “Hi Tim,” Michelle said as gently as possible. She waited for him to reply accordingly, but Tim couldn’t find his words and just kept looking at Michelle, his eyes filled with disappointment.

  “Well, I guess we’re not wanted here,” Tim’s date said to Elliot, elbowing his arm to get some support. When Elliot looked over at the girl her mouth dropped open. Michelle looked at Elliot and she could see that his eyes had started changing hues. She needed to extricate them both out of the situation with the least amount of damage done.

  “Michelle, this is Gabrielle,” Tim finally said. Michelle looked at the girl, who by this time was so angry that her cheeks had turned rosier than her blush.

  “Hi,” Michelle said shyly, giving the girl a genuine if not apologetic smile.

  “Hi,” Gabrielle said back flatly. “Maybe you two need to talk alone for a while?” she added, storming off in anger. She shouted over her shoulder to Tim that she was going to go get a drink and if he was still interested he could find her later. Elliot wasn’t sure what he should do. He didn’t feel threatened by Tim, and he knew that Michelle’s heart was clearly his, but at the same time the idea of leaving her alone just so she could talk to him didn’t sit right with him.

  “Michelle, lets just go,” he said to her in a neutral voice, never taking his eyes off Tim. Michelle’s eyes begged for just a little space, so he took two steps backwards. Tim respected the fact that Elliot didn’t act like some brut and try to drag Michelle away, but at the same time he had known Michelle for years and that had to count for something. His eyes softened. “Why couldn’t you tell me?” he asked, shaking his head. “That’s all you had to do.” Michelle felt awful because Tim was still and always the perfect gentleman.

  “I don’t know. What was I supposed to say?”

  “You could have told me that you were seeing someone else. You know how I feel… why this way?” Michelle tried to explain that things were complicated, but Tim cut her off.

  “And here I thought we’ve known each other long enough. Or maybe I just thought I knew you.”

  “I didn’t mean to…” Michelle said, feeling the corner of her mouth twitch.

  “Lead me on? Well technically you didn’t, so I guess you get a pass, Andrews.” Tim was right and Michelle knew it. For weeks she had been avoiding this exact discussion.

  “Tim, I care about you, but…” she began honestly. But Elliot had heard enough. He took Michelle’s hand.

  “Lets go dance,” he said, leading her away.

  “I’m sorry,” Michelle said one more time as she turned to go.

  “Yeah, me too,” were Tim’s last words. Elliot was more than a little confused by the scene he had just witnessed. He wasn’t used to such exchanges. In his experience, once a woman was on the arms of one man, other men would either challenge him or simply step away. But these were different times, where people were encouraged to talk everything out. He also had to remind himself that Michelle had her own past that did not include him, and he needed to respect that.

  The dance floor was pretty full and Michelle and Elliot found an open spot just as the lights were lowered and a slow tune came on. Michelle had yet to say anything to Elliot and when he turned towards her, she just put her arms around him and leaned her face against his shoulder. Elliot’s body was taut and Michelle felt his arm muscles through the sleeves of his jacket. Elliot had heard Michelle’s voice telling Tim that she cared about him. The words repeated in his brain like a scratched up CD. Hadn’t he suffered enough when it came to women? He didn’t like what he was feeling right now. Why was he doing this to himself again? Could he be in love with her already? He looked down at Michelle, noticing the way her curls lay so perfectly against the black of his suit. Michelle felt the weight of his thoughts and looked up to meet his eyes. Their emotions were beginning to synchronize with one another’s, a sign that their souls were intertwining.

  Michelle felt dreadful for Tim, and hoped that he wasn’t able to see her from wherever he was. She was also learning for the first time what it felt like to have to give up something dear to her in order to be with Elliot. Up until that night, Michelle didn’t understand what love meant, not really. Love meant sacrifice. It meant that if she were poor somewhere wearing sackcloth, she wouldn’t care as long as Elliot was there too. Love meant that if Elliot asked her to go with him somewhere far away, she would sadly say goodbye to her parents and her friends and leave to wherever he needed to go. It meant all those things and more. Elliot finally asked her if she was ok, and Michelle nodded, but didn’t smile. So he put his finger to the corner of Michelle’s lips and lifted them to make it look as if she were smiling. That did the trick, and she gave him a real smile back. “That was really awful,” she told him. Elliot had the choice of shrugging off the whole situation as championing over a mere human wasn’t anything new to him, or he could help Michelle grow and sort things out. She was neither the first nor the last person that had ever had to make a decision that ended up hurting somebody else’s feelings. Michelle was becoming a young woman, and he was there right by her side. In this case he was at the heart of the painful lesson.

  “I know,” he said softly engulfing her in his arms and then whispered that he
was glad he was the one she chose.

  After one dance Michelle was ready to leave and Elliot was glad that it was her suggestion. They said their goodbyes to her friends, and the couple welcomed the cool evening air. Elliot loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He had never understood the need for such uncomfortable fashion, and always felt like there was a noose around his neck whenever he was in a tie. The tower clock at the old library struck its bells to announce that it was ten o’clock and Michelle was glad that they had some time before she had to be home. Elliot knew that there was a small sitting area outside the library’s main entrance. He led Michelle across the street, telling her that he knew a perfect spot. The cobblestone walkway had Michelle struggling in her high heels, not only because they slid along the worn edges of the stones, but because her feet were already painfully swollen. “Just take them off,” Elliot said matter-of-factly.

  “And get my feet and my dress dirty? You’re crazy.”

  “Then let’s go somewhere else,” Elliot said, offering to carry her back to the car.

  “All the way there?” she asked laughing.

  “Yeah,” Elliot said as he lifted her off her feet. But he only managed to walk a few yards before they heard the sound of footsteps running up behind them. Someone called out Elliot’s name, and he spun around with Michelle still in his arms. Devin and Rion’s faces did nothing to hide the urgency of the situation. Their eyes glowed like they were on fire, a most bizarre scene. The last people that Elliot wanted to see that night were his friends. He set Michelle back down onto her feet, never taking his eyes off his friends while she embarrassedly straightened out her dress and hair. Something was very wrong and Michelle turned to Elliot searching for any clue as to what was happening, but he shook his head in frustration. Rion, despite his own agitation, couldn’t help but gaze at Michelle with awe, but she averted her eyes and took a step backwards to align herself with Elliot more closely.