“They would have had no problem killing you to get to Elliot. Elliot is my good friend and you are a friend to him. I did what had to be done to keep you both safe.” Kahl said unapologetically, as if he had read her mind.
“Thank you,” Michelle said, thinking about the loyalty that they displayed towards one another. They were a family, just as Elliot had said.
“I know that you were dragged into a big mess and I’m very sorry. But I think Elliot owes you the bigger apology. It’s much better for them,” he pointed outside the school walls, “that they don’t know about this, what we are. It’s happier for everyone that way. Maybe it would have been better for you too.”
Was Kahl talking about the relationship between her and Elliot, if that’s even what it was? She didn’t know what they were at this point, and even if there was a ‘them’ at all? Her next words were very hard to say, but she always felt like Kahl knew Elliot better than the rest.
“I don’t know how I feel about this whole thing either.” Michelle thought for a while, then continued, “I think I love him, or I used to, but I’m not sure who ‘him’ is anymore. I don’t even know who you are, and I’m talking to you like you’re a friend and… it’s too damn confusing! It’s like there are different people living inside of him, and I keep meeting them and I’m not sure I like them very much. I just wish that I never saw them. I wish he was just the him that he was when I met him.”
“All those people are him, Michelle.” Kahl smiled at her sympathetically. “It’s just hard for the human brain to grasp the many facets as part of one person. We have lived the lives of thousands of men. We are all of them. There is no real and fake, it’s all in there together.” Michelle looked down at the table and let Kahl put his arm around her shoulder.
“I know he came to rescue me, but he had that responsibility. If I had never met him, or if he had never moved here, none of this would have happened.” Michelle looked to Kahl for support.
“Love gets all of us in trouble, not just people like yourself. You got into a bad situation, I admit that, but you’re here now and that’s what he said he was going to go do. He was going to bring you back home even if he died doing it. Trust me, Elliot had a choice. I believe he loves you, but he is torn over what that means for you.”
“Isn’t it a little too late for that?” Michelle asked in anger while pushing her tears back. Kahl told her that there had been many messes in his life. He thought for a while, then whistled in marvel. Michelle looked at him, confused, and he gave her a large reassuring smile.
“This is almost as bad as the time I was engaged to two sisters in Egypt,” he laughed. Michelle remembered that Elliot had told her about Kahl faking his own death, and asked him if that was what he meant.
“Yes,” he said, holding his hand on his cheek and shaking his head. “He didn’t tell you why?” Michelle shook her head, but her eyes were large in anticipation of his story.
“I was young and foolish, and I was in love with one girl and she was with me. We met in secret and nobody knew because that wasn’t what was proper back then. Problem was that her father came to me and offered his other daughter to me in marriage. He had no idea that I was already in love with her sister and had already promised to marry her. It was a great honor for a man as powerful as him to make such an offer. I played an important part in the politics of the area, and if I declined it would have been a royal snub, so to speak.
I started spending time with this woman also, and she was just as beautiful and kind as her sister. I think I fell in love with her too because they were so similar. Somehow, I found myself engaged to both of them. I could have had more than one wife if I wanted, but I knew that this would destroy the original sister I had been in love with. We had our own plans and dreams, and in all honesty the thought of marrying another hadn’t even occurred to me.
Michelle’s eyes dried and she looked at Kahl in surprise. “You player, you!” she teased him. Kahl told her that he knew that he would break both sisters’ hearts if he chose one over the other, and he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. They were very close, and it would tear them apart.
“It wasn’t worth it. They were such lovely girls. So I pretended to be sick and dying. While they cared for me they revealed to one another that they were both in love with me. But they ended up finding comfort in one another, because they were both going through the same loss. End of story.” Kahl brought Michelle back from the far away place. ”This is your home here. It used to be Elliot’s, but he left it many years ago and we just returned recently. Elliot will leave again if that’s what you want. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, actually its the exact opposite that’s true. But the choice here is yours.”
“You girls hungry? Pizza is here!” Michelle’s mother called from downstairs. They heard her but ignored her.
“What about the guys? Are they fine? Did you meet any hot-blooded Hungarian prince?” Samantha asked with enthusiasm.
“Don’t be silly,” Michelle said, thinking to herself that the only prince she had met was a Prince of Darkness. Maybe if Haden hadn’t turned out to be a madman he could have made an interesting story. But she would have to omit the stabbing part, and his head flying off his neck too. Michelle couldn’t believe that she was already making light of such things, before she had even made peace with the fact that they actually took place. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism, she thought to herself, while Samantha went on about the university that James had chosen to go to.
“I missed you Sam,” Michelle said out of nowhere, overtaken by her emotions of gratefulness to just be home. Sam was a real friend and a real person, who lived in the real world.
“Of course silly,” Samantha answered, a little surprised. “I missed you too.” They hugged. Michelle’s mom called up to them again and this time the girls rushed downstairs to get a slice while it was still warm. Michelle bit into the pizza and savored the smell of something so familiar. Did Vilna exist out there somewhere, she thought while chewing. Was Transylvania a real place, now that it was so far away? Michelle’s mother pulled her camera out of her carry-on bag and asked Samantha if she wanted to see some of the photographs of the trip. Michelle looked at the strange camera.
“Mom, what happened to the old one?” she asked in surprise. Michelle’s mother wondered how it was possible that Michelle hadn’t noticed that they had been using a new one throughout the entire trip.
“Oh, I guess I never bothered to mention it. We were forced to buy a new camera at the hotel gift shop. When we got to Budapest I looked for our old one all over and just couldn’t find it,” her mom said while flipping through the photos and showing Samantha some choice shots. Michelle tried to remember if there were any important photos on the old memory card.
“Mom, I know you took a picture of me and dad in Philly because I remember you showing it to me on the flight to Zurich. Do you think you left it there? On the plane?” she asked.
“Actually, that’s what we suspected,” her father said in-between bites of melted cheese. “What are you getting at?” he asked, puzzled as to why Michelle seemed so concerned.
Her mother tried to make her feel better. “It was old anyway. We needed a new one. There were no photos on that card except the ones…” her mom stopped in mid-sentence.
“The ones you took of Elliot and me! The ones from the prom!” Michelle said in anger. Now Samantha understood why Michelle was so upset. She remembered that she and Elliot had left the event early and never gotten their picture taken by the hired photographer.
“Oh my God Michelle! Were those the only photos you had from the prom?” her mother asked, already putting her hand on Michelle’s for support. Michelle looked sadly at her pizza and shoved her plate away. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about that. Did you not have any other photos taken together?” she asked, looking at Samantha hopefully. Michelle thought about the evening that Elliot came to pick her up and how happy she was, he was.
“I can try and see if any of my pictures have you guys in them,” Samantha tried to cheer her friend up. Michelle asked if they had tried to call the airline.
“Actually, your father did, but unfortunately the plane had already taken off on a return trip back to Philadelphia. We even got a call the next day telling us that they asked the young men who sat in our seats when they exited the plane. But they didn’t see it. I’m so sorry baby. I know it’s not the same but I can take more photos of you in that lovely dress.” Michelle looked at her mother as if she were speaking a different language.
“And am I supposed to get Elliot here too and have him model his tux again?” her voice was shaking. Samantha looked at Michelle with pity. No matter how bad she felt for her friend, she couldn’t help her, and she knew how touchy Michelle was about Elliot so she said nothing. Michelle’s mother scooted her chair next to Michelle’s and put her hand on her knee.
“Michelle, did something happen with that boy? Are you still talking to him?” she inquired gently. Michelle didn’t say anything. She didn’t know what to say. How could she tell her mother that she was still in touch with him, and had in fact spent two action-packed days in Transylvania with him by her side? But of course only after they slew a dragon, rammed a stake through Dracula’s heart, and chopped off the head of an immortal menace with delusions of grandeur?
“We still e-mail,” she lied. Her mom took the bait, but not Samantha, who just stared at Michelle with an open mouth. Michelle gestured at her not to say anything.
“Well,” her mother said, “he seemed like a very nice young man. Very handsome and proper. I don’t see a problem with that. You could have told me that you had feelings for him. I’m always here for you.” Michelle looked at her poor mom and wondered how could she ever meld her two worlds together?
Who would have thought that she would need to own a dress for funerals this early in her life? Michelle sat in the back of the car and tried to remove Crumb’s fine hairs from the black fabric. “I’m very sad,” she said without getting overly emotional. She had cried a river already, and she wanted to maintain her composure at long as she could. Her father was only half awake, jet-lagged behind the wheel while her mom sipped tea from a travel mug. “I feel like I should be driving her to church today. This all feels so wrong to me,” Michelle commented dryly. Her parents tried to console her as best they knew how to. But death was something that everyone has to deal with, and everyone deals with it differently. Her mom told her about losing her own grandmother, and her father recounted how he lost his favorite uncle to cancer when he was just a small boy. Michelle understood that she was not the only one in the world that had ever mourned, but she still felt as if no one understood her. She had been told time and time again that there was nothing she could have done differently to prevent Francesca’s passing, but no matter how well she understood that in her head, she still didn’t feel it. She was sure that it had something to do with her. Maybe it was the ‘gypsy blood’ Eranka told her about. Michelle wondered if Eranka had been talking about The Pulse without even knowing it. Was that what she was experiencing now; that deep inside inkling about something that she couldn’t explain. Was that The Pulse running through her veins?
There were a few cars in the church parking lot, and Michelle recognized them from all the other times she had been there with Francesca. It was going to be another beautiful summer day she thought, looking up at the sky while walking down the narrow pathway. The grass along the edges was still wet from the early morning sprinklers. She wished it were raining and miserable. It wasn’t fair that Francesca would miss such a glorious morning. Michelle felt as if God was mocking her. She knew that people would be looking at her; she was sure that some of them thought she was Francesca’s granddaughter. She would have been proud if she were. But still, to avoid too much attention, Michelle wore her hair down around her face; maybe it would hide her from all the sympathetic eyes. It didn’t work. People started coming up to her with their condolences and, just as she had feared, the tears reappeared.
Michelle was moved by how many people actually knew her by name. Everyone was speaking about Ms. Bianchetti; the hum of her name resonating inside the church sounded like a prayer. It was her day. When Michelle’s parents recognized that their daughter had formed relationships with many of the parishioners, they began to understand that she was growing up and apart from them. They sat in one of the back pews and watched their daughter as she made her way to her usual seat.
“She’ll be gone soon,” her father remarked sadly.
“What will we do when we’re alone?” her mom asked, a little scared. “Look at her. She has her own life, her own circle of friends, young and old, and these are people that she’s never even spoken about.” Her mother was proud. Michelle was now a young woman and no longer her little girl.
“She matured a lot this year,” her father said with concern. “Seems like it all happened so quickly.”
The church bells chimed again, letting everyone know that the services were about to begin. Michelle sat on the hard cold bench and for the first time realized what it felt like to physically miss Francesca sitting next to her. She was lonely, sitting there in a room full of people who knew Francesca too. It didn’t seem to matter. The empty space on the bench next to her was angry, as if blaming Michelle that his friend was no longer there. She wondered if the chances of a miracle happening in a church were higher than anywhere else? How likely was it that Francesca would suddenly show up like an angel and start talking to her? Michelle wondered if she had completely lost her mind.
No one sat next to Michelle. She suspected that they did that out of respect, to give her room to mourn, but in all honesty it felt horrible. She felt so small on the long wooden bench, and her back felt like it was going to catch on fire from everyone staring at her. Michelle feared that she might start screaming, but she was held in check by the weight of everyone’s eyes. They expected her to behave, to be strong, and not to disappoint Francesca. She was Francesca’s friend, and she knew that she was in heaven. That was faith. Still, she wondered, if that was so, then why did it feel like they all wanted her to consol them? She needed the consoling. Everything was backwards. Michelle looked in her small purse for a tissue. Oh no, she left them in the car.
When Michelle’s father saw a tall young man approaching the pew that his daughter sat in he knew right away that it was the same guy they had met in Zurich. His instinct was to stand up so he could keep an eye on her, but Michelle’s mother put her hand on his knee.
“Let her be. It’s her friend. Trust her,” she said quietly as she watched her husband take a deep breath to calm himself.
Rion knew exactly where Michelle would be, and when he saw her little figure sitting alone he felt her emptiness. He knew exactly what she had been through in the last few days, and worried that one seventeen year old girl shouldn’t be forced to carry all of it on her own. He was actually surprised that she hadn’t snapped yet, and sat directly behind her, leaning forward while everybody else watched.
“You think you could use some company?” he whispered in her ear. Michelle turned around and Rion saw her tears clinging to her lower lashes. She smiled at him and nodded her head. By the time that Rion made his way around to sit next to her, the tears were down her cheeks. She was happy he was there. He sat on the opposite side from where Francesca would have sat and pulled out a handkerchief. “I came prepared,” he said, handing it to her. Michelle thanked him. After dabbing her tears away she took a deep breath and whispered that she needed a vacation.
“Somewhere nice, tropical, with coconut trees, a hammock, an ocean breeze,” she smiled in sadness. Rion put his arm around her and Michelle leaned her head on him. He told her to be careful what she wished for and stroked her hair with affection.
The service took longer than usual, and when it was finally over Michelle stood with Rion at the front steps of the church and scanned the thinning crowd for her par
ents. Rion pointed them out to her, off to the side conversing with Xander. “Is Elliot back?” she asked without looking up.
“Yes,” he answered in the same flat tone.
“Is he all right?”
“Better then ever,” Rion replied, but said no further on the matter. He knew that Elliot’s condition was uncertain because although Devin had been able to successfully remove some of the poisoned tissue, there was no telling if the toxin would continue to spread. There was a possibility that the procedure was going to have to be repeated, but Elliot didn’t seem to care as long as he was healthy enough to take care of Michelle. “Aren’t those your friends?” Rion asked, pointing to Samantha and James who had just showed up and seemed lost amongst the churchgoers. Michelle called Samantha’s name and when she and James approached, Rion took his leave and went over to join Xander who was now talking to some other people.
Francesca Bianchetti had made sure that everything was taken care of. From the simple casket with the large cross on it, to the headstone that already stood next to her dear husband’s grave. She didn’t want anything too fancy, she told the vicar. The sight of the coffin shocked Michelle, even though she had expected it to be there. “I can’t believe she’s really dead,” Michelle whispered, feeling as if her legs were about to give out. James caught her before she fell and the three of them stood in place for a few seconds while Michelle caught her breath.
“Should we go get your mom?” a concerned Samantha asked.
“No, I’m all right.” Michelle straightened herself up. “I can do this. I know she’s not really in there.”
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