by Alan Reed
Alan Reed
Coach House Books
Toronto
copyright © Alan Reed, 2010
first edition
This epub edition published in 2010. Electronic ISBN 978 1 77056 263 9.
Published with the generous assistance of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ontario Arts Council. Coach House Books also acknowledges the support of the Government of Canada through the Book Publishing Industry Development Program and the Government of Ontario through the Ontario Book Publishing Tax Credit.
The author gratefully acknowledges the financial support of the Alberta
Foundation for the Arts.
LIBRARY AND ARCHIVES CANADA CATALOGUING IN PUBLICATION
Reed, Alan, 1978-
Isobel and Emile / Alan Reed.
ISBN 978-1-55245-227-1
I. Title.
PS8635.E35I86 2010 C813'.6 C2010-901663-7
‘How much less than dreams
are the things we actually do!’
– Paul Poissel
CONTENTS
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
Acknowledgements
About the Author
They are sitting.
There are two of them. They are sitting beside each other. They are in a room.
There is a bed in the room. There is a sink. There is a window. There is a door. There are things scattered on the floor and there is an empty bottle under the bed.
They are sitting on the bed. It is a small bed. It has plain white sheets on it. Before they sat on the bed they slept in the bed. They lay together with their arms around each other and their legs together. It was quiet in the room.
They slept.
When they woke up they did not get out of the bed. They stayed the way they had been lying when they were asleep.
They were not wearing clothes. They were naked. They had been naked when they went to bed the night before. It had not troubled them then. It had been dark.
There was light coming in through the window when they woke up. It was early in the morning.
There were specks of dust floating in the light.
They got out of the bed. They did not look at each other. They got out of the bed and they looked for their clothes on the floor.
They had to look for their clothes because they did not know where their clothes were. They knew that they were on the floor. The night before they had taken off their clothes and they had thrown them onto the floor. They did not look where they had thrown them.
They did not care what happened to them then. They wanted them off their bodies. Now they had to look for them.
They found their clothes. They put their clothes on. They looked at each other with their clothes on. They still looked naked. It was their eyes. They were too tender.
They looked at each other and then they looked at themselves standing in the room.
There was nothing else in the room. There were things in the room but they did not matter anymore. They were nothing.
There was nothing else in the room and there was nothing left to do.
They were standing beside the bed. They were wearing their clothes. They did not say anything. There was nothing to say so they did not say anything.
They sat on the bed. There was nothing else to do. They sat beside each other on the small bed with plain white sheets.
It is still quiet in the room. They are sitting beside each other on the bed. It is early in the morning.
They are not sitting on the bed anymore. It is still early in the morning. There is still light coming in through the window.
One of them is standing beside the bed. He says: ‘We should go.’
The other one of them is not standing. She is still sitting on the bed. She does not say anything.
She pulls her hands through her hair. She is trying to make her hair lie the way that it is supposed to. Her hair is not lying the way that it is supposed to.
She pulls on it.
If her hair would lie like it is supposed to then something would be different.
She is sure that something would be different. She makes her hands into fists. She pulls on her hair. Tears come to her eyes. It does not matter. Her hair will not lie like it is supposed to. Her hair does not lie like it is supposed to when she has slept on it.
He says: ‘We should go.’ She closes her eyes.
She nods her head.
There is a suitcase by the door. On top of the suitcase there is a knapsack.
He goes over to where the knapsack is on top of the suitcase. He picks the knapsack up. He puts it on his back. She is sitting on the bed. He bends over to pick the suitcase up.
She looks at him standing by the door. He looks like he does not know how to stand with a suitcase in his hand and a knapsack on his back. He holds them awkwardly.
He says: ‘We should go.’He does not say it like he is sure they should go.
She nods her head.
She stands up. She stands in front of the bed for a moment. She pulls at her hair again. It is still not lying like it is supposed to. It does not matter anymore.
He opens the door. She puts her shoes on.
There are stairs on the other side of the door. They are stairs going down.
She goes through the door and she starts to walk down the stairs. The steps are made of wood. Her shoes makes sounds when she steps on them.
After she goes through the door he goes through the door. He closes it behind him. He follows her down the stairs.
In the room they have left there is still light coming in through the window.
There are specks of dust floating in it.
They are outside now. It is brighter here than it was inside. They have to squint their eyes.
They are standing on a street.
It is the main street of a town. There are shops along it. They are not open yet. It is too early in the morning. There is still a chill in the air.
They are going to the train station. They walk down the street and then they turn onto another street. There are no shops on this street. There are row houses built along it. They walk down this street and then they walk out of the town.
Outside the town there are fields. There are fences around the fields. There is nothing left in them. They have been harvested. They are bare now. The light is brighter here. There are no buildings to shade them from it. The light feels like it is pressing down on them.
The train station is here. It is in a field.
The train station looks like a barn. It might have been a barn once but it is not a barn now. Now it is the train station. There is a sign over the door that says that it is the train station.
The train station is painted white. The letters on the sign are painted green.
They walk down the road that leads to the train station. It is getting warmer. They are starting to sweat. They walk and then they are standing in front of the train station.
There is a door that goes into the train station. There is a woman there. She is in a booth. She sells tickets to the people who come into the train station. There are no people in the station to sell tickets to. She is knitting a sweater instead.
They go inside the station.
They go to where the woman is knitting a sweater. He puts his suitcase down. He reaches into his pocket. He takes a piece of paper out. It is a ticket for the train. He shows it to the woman. He asks where he should go to catch the train that is written on the ticket.
The woman there tells him to go to the first platform. She points with her finger. She is sitting o
n a chair behind a pane of glass. She is very fat.
He picks the suitcase up. They walk to where the woman pointed. There is a door there. It is propped open. On the other side of the door there are the platforms the trains stop at.
There are two platforms. One is for the trains going one way and the other is for the trains going the other way. They go to one of the platforms.
There is a bench on the platform. There is also a bench on the other platform. There is no one sitting on either of the benches. There is no one else here.
It is still early in the morning.
They sit on the bench. They sit so that they are beside each other. They do not say anything. They look at each other and then they look at the bench on the other platform.
There should be something to say. They want there to be something to say.
They cannot think of anything to say.
It scares them.
One of them says: ‘I am hungry.’ It is not much of something to say. It is stupid. But it is something.
The other one says: ‘We should get something to eat.’
They stand up. They go inside the station. There is a snack machine there.
When they go inside the station the woman stops knitting. She watches them.
She watches them as they go over to the snack machine. They stand in front of the snack machine. The snack machine makes a humming sound. There is an electrical motor inside it.
They put coins into the snack machine. Gears inside the machine turn. The snack machine gives them snacks.
The woman inside the station is still watching them. They can feel her watching them. They take their snacks and they go back to the platform.
They were the only people on the platform. Now they are not the only people on the platform. There is another person here.
The other person is wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. He is carrying his briefcase in his hand. He has taken the jacket of his suit off. It is getting warmer. He is holding the jacket in his other hand.
The man wearing a suit is not sitting on the bench. He is standing near the edge of the platform.
They sit on the bench. They have their snacks. The snacks are wrapped in brown paper. They take the paper off their snacks. They start to eat their snacks.
The man on the platform does not look at them. They are relieved that he does not look at them. He puts his briefcase down. He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket. He wipes his forehead with his handkerchief.
It is going to be a warm day. It will not be warm for much longer. The days are starting to get shorter.
They eat their snacks. They look at each other while they eat. They try to smile.
They do not smile.
They look at their snacks instead. They concentrate on eating.
They concentrate on eating their snacks and then they finish eating their snacks. They are sitting on the bench. They are beside each other. There is a slight breeze. They hold the wrappers their snacks were in. They do not want them to blow away.
They have not thought of anything to say. They know what is happening. They know what is going to happen. They do not need to say anything. There is nothing they can do about it. All they can do is wait for it to happen.
They hold the wrappers their snacks came in. They do not say anything.
They wait.
The man on the platform puts his handkerchief back into his pocket. He does not pick up his briefcase. He pushes up his sleeve to look at his watch. He bends over to pick up his briefcase.
They are sitting on the bench. They do not want to wait for what happens next. They want to do something. They want to say something.
They try to say something.
What they say is not what they want to say to each other. It is almost what they wanted to say to each other but it is not it.
It does not matter. It would not have changed anything.
The train is here.
He stands up. He puts his knapsack on his back.His knapsack had not been on his back. It had been on the bench beside him.
He bends over. He picks his suitcase up. She watches him put his knapsack on his back and then bend over to pick his suitcase up.
She is still sitting on the bench. She is holding her hands together in her lap. The train stops at the platform. She stands up. He is standing near the train. She walks towards him. She stands in front of him. She stands close to him.
She kisses him.
The station attendant opens the doors to the train. There are people on the train waiting to get off. The doors open. The people step off the train. They stand on the platform and then they walk across it. They go into the station.
They do not care that there are people getting off the train. They stand in the middle of the platform. They are young. They are kissing.
The station attendant blows a whistle. It means that the train is going to leave.
He is holding his suitcase in his hand. He steps away from her. He gets on the train.
The station attendant walks down the platform. He closes the doors to the train. She stands on the platform. She watches as the station attendant closes the doors to the train.
The station attendant blows his whistle again.
The train starts to move. She watches as the train starts to move. The train moves slowly and then it moves faster. It pulls away from the station. He is on the train. She is not on the train.
The train pulls away from the station and then it is gone.
She watches it go.
1
Emile is in a city. He is walking down a street. There are streetcars on the street. There are people walking by him. They are wearing long coats and they have hats on their heads. They brush against him. They do not stop walking. They brush against him and they keep walking.
He is smaller here. He is walking down a street.
In his hand he is carrying a suitcase and he is wearing a knapsack on his back. There are shops along the street. There are restaurants and bars and shops that sell clothes. It is late. The shops that sell clothes are all closed. The people who are walking by him are coming out of the restaurants and bars and going into other restaurants and bars.
He stops. He is standing in front of a bar. The people walking by him do not stop. Someone bumps into him. Emile goes into the bar.
There are people in the bar. They are drinking. There are not many people in the bar. It is not a night for people to go out to bars. But there are some people in the bar. There are people sitting at the tables and there is someone sitting at the bar. There is music playing.
Emile stands in the door. He looks at the people in the bar. They are drinking. He looks at each of them and then he looks away.
He goes to the bar.He sits on a stool. There are stools in front of the bar. He puts his suitcase down beside him. He takes his knapsack off. He puts it on the stool next to him.
A bartender comes over to where Emile is sitting. The bartender stands in front of Emile. He puts his hands on the bar. He looks at Emile.
Emile says: ‘Gin and tonic, please.’
The bartender nods his head.He walks away. He comes back with a glass. He puts the glass on the bar in front of Emile.
Emile takes some money out of his pocket. He puts it on the bar. The bartender takes the money. He walks away from Emile.
Emile sips at his drink. He looks around the bar again. He says: ‘Excuse me.’ He says it again. He says: ‘Excuse me.’ The bartender comes back.The bartender says: ‘Everything all right?’
Emile says: ‘Yes.’ The bartender is about to walk away again. Emile says: ‘Is Nicolas here?’
The bartender says: ‘No, he hasn’t started yet.’ He looks at his watch. He says: ‘He ’ll be here soon.’
Emile says: ‘Thank you.’
He picks up his glass. He sips at it. He puts it down on the bar.
He waits.
There is a straw in Emile’s gin and tonic. It is pressed up against the side of the
glass. The ice in the drink is holding it there.
He touches the straw with his finger. It moves slightly.
He touches his finger against the straw again. It moves again. It does not move as much. It does not move as much because the ice does not move. He presses harder. The straw does not move. He wants the straw to move. It is frustrating.
Emile presses against the straw so that it moves around the ice. The ice moves. The straw moves forward. It does not move forward very far.
He was away from the city. Now he is back in the city. He walked down the street to get here. He did not remember what it was like to walk down the street here.
He needs to make sense of it. He is going to make the straw move to the other side of the glass. It will help him to make sense of it.
He is bent over his glass. He is concentrating. The door to the bar opens. Nicolas comes into the bar. Emile does not hear the door open. He is bent over his glass.
Nicolas moves easily. He looks older than Emile. He looks more confident.
Nicolas says: ‘Emile?’
Emile’s head jerks up.He is very young. He turns around on his stool. He looks around the bar. He sees Nicolas. Nicolas is wearing a fancy scarf. He wears it like he is very pleased that it is a fancy scarf.
Emile says: ‘Nicolas.’
He stands up slowly. He is smaller than Nicolas. He does not stand as straight. Nicolas walks over to where Emile is. He opens his arms. He hugs Emile.
Nicolas says: ‘It’s good to see you.’
Emile says: ‘It is good to see you too.’
Nicolas works at the bar.
He is not wearing his scarf anymore. He has an apron tied around his waist. He is standing behind the bar. Emile is sitting on a stool across from him. Emile is drinking another gin and tonic.
Emile says: ‘I was on the train all day.’
It is dark outside. The street lights have come on. It is late now. In the morning Emile got on a train.
He stood on the platform of a train station. The train pulled into the station. It stopped. The station attendant walked down the platform. He opened the doors to the train.