by Alan Reed
He says: ‘Shall we have a cup of coffee?’
Isobel is sitting on a crate. Her arms hurt.Her back hurts. She is looking at the floor in front of her. She did not know it would hurt like this.
Isobel does not say anything.
Mr. Koch makes a noise in his throat. He says: ‘Shall we have a cup of coffee before we get to work?’
Isobel looks up. Mr. Koch is waiting for her to answer. She has to say something.
She says: ‘Yes, please.’ She does not say it right away. She thinks about it. She does not push her hair out of her face. She does not like coffee.
She says: ‘Yes, please.’
Mr. Koch goes into his office. It is under the stairs that go to the room above the store. He goes into his office and starts his coffee-making machine.
Isobel is still sitting on a crate. She looks at the floor in front of her. She touches herself where she hurts. She touches herself gingerly.
She is not used to hurting like this. She is trying to make sense of it.
Mr. Koch comes out of his office. He is humming a tune to himself. He is carrying two cups of coffee. He is carrying one in each hand. He offers one of them to Isobel.
Isobel is looking at the ground in front of her. Her hair is in her face. She does not see the cup Mr. Koch is holding out to her.
Mr. Koch says: ‘Isobel.’
Isobel looks up. She looks at Mr. Koch through her hair. She sees him smiling. She sees the cup of coffee he is holding out to her. She pushes her hair out of her face. She holds her hands out.
Mr. Koch gives her the cup of coffee.
The cup is hot in her hands. It is uncomfortable. Isobel looks into the cup. The coffee inside it is black. Mr. Koch makes a sound in his throat. He says: ‘I forgot to ask if you take cream or sugar.’
Isobel says: ‘It’s okay.’
Mr. Koch goes over to a crate. He hitches his pants up.He sits down on the crate. He brings his cup of coffee up to his mouth. He drinks from it.
He makes a sound in the back of his throat.
He puts his cup of coffee down on the crate beside him. He reaches into the pocket of his waistcoat. He wears a waistcoat when he works. He wears a waistcoat and a shirt and a tie. He takes a pack of cigarettes out from the pocket of his waistcoat.
He puts a cigarette in his mouth. He takes a lighter out of his pocket. He lights the cigarette. He takes the cigarette away from his mouth and he blows smoke into the room.
He settles into sitting on the crate. He scratches his belly.
Mr. Koch says: ‘It is good to start the day with someone.’
He picks up his cup of coffee. He drinks from it. He puts it down on the crate next to him.
He sighs.
Mr. Koch says: ‘When Emile left, I thought I would be by myself again. And I wasn’t looking forward to making do without someone to lend a hand.’
Isobel does not say anything. She watches Mr. Koch speak. Mr. Koch says: ‘I suppose I am glad you are here.’
He puts his cigarette in his mouth. He draws on it. He takes his cigarette out of his mouth. He blows smoke into the room.
He does not say Isobel being here will cause trouble. He shakes his head.
Isobel waits for him to say more. She waits but he does not say more.
Mr. Koch sits on one of the crates. He drinks from his cup of coffee. He smokes his cigarette. He makes noises in the back of his throat.
Isobel sips from her cup of coffee. She wants Mr. Koch to say more. She wants to ask Mr. Koch to say something. She does not know how to ask Mr. Koch to say something.
She sips from her cup of coffee.
She does not like the taste of it. It is bitter. She wants to learn to like it. She decides she will learn to like it.
She holds her cup of coffee in her lap. She does not say anything. She sips from her cup of coffee. She watches Mr. Koch sitting on a crate. He drinks from his cup of coffee and he smokes his cigarette.
He puts his cigarette to his mouth one last time. He stands up. He grunts when he stands up.
Mr. Koch says: ‘Well.’
Mr. Koch says: ‘It’s time to get to work.’
There are crates in the room at the back of the grocery store.
Isobel is sitting on one of the crates. She is holding a cup of coffee in her hands. She sips from the cup. She looks around the room. Mr. Koch is in his office. He is working. She is alone here.
She sips from the cup again. She makes a face. She puts it down. There is still coffee in the cup. She cannot drink the rest. It is too bitter.
She stands up.
She goes over to the crates piled near the back door. They are the crates she helped to bring in. She opens the crate on the top of the pile. It is filled with tins. She takes the tins out of the crate.
She takes them over to the door that goes into the store. There is a cart there.
She puts the tins from the crate onto the cart. She goes back to where the crate is. She takes more tins out of the crate. She takes them over to the cart and she puts them on it.
Isobel pushes the cart through the door. She goes into the store. There are rows of shelves here. There are aisles between the shelves. She pushes the cart ahead of her. She goes into the aisles.
There are tins on the shelves along the aisle. She takes some of the tins from the cart. She puts them onto the shelves.
She pushes the cart again. She stops again. She puts some of the tins on the shelves. She pushes the cart again.
There are people in the store.They are shopping for groceries. There is a girl at the front of the store. She is standing behind the cash register. Isobel does not want any of them to notice her. The people shopping for groceries do not notice her. The people do not care about Isobel. They are shopping for groceries.
The girl looks at Isobel. She heard what Isobel did. She does not say anything. She stares at her. Isobel does not say anything. She puts more tins from the cart onto the shelves. She wants to scowl. She does not scowl. She puts tins on the shelves until there are no more tins on the cart.
When there are no more tins on the cart she goes to the back of the store. She leaves the cart by the door. She goes to where the crates are. She takes tins out of the open crate. She takes them over to the cart. She puts them onto the cart.
All the tins left in this crate fit onto the cart. There is still room on the cart. She opens another crate. There are boxes of biscuits and more tins in the crate. She takes the tins out of the crate and she puts them on the cart. With these tins on it the cart is full.
She takes the cart into the front of the store. There are fewer people in the store. One of them has her son with her. He is a little boy. He is holding on to her skirt. Isobel puts the tins from the cart on the shelves. When the cart is empty she goes into the back of the store.
There are more crates in the back of the store. They all have things in them.
Isobel takes the boxes of biscuits from the open crate. They do not fill the cart. She opens the next crate. She takes the things inside it and she puts them on the cart. She takes the cart into the front of the store. She puts the things from the cart onto the shelves.
When all of the things from the cart are on the shelves she goes into the back of the store. She opens another crate.
She does this until all the crates are empty.
Isobel is in the room at the back of the grocery store. There are stairs here. There is a bathroom under the stairs. It is beside Mr. Koch’s office. She goes into the bathroom. The stairs are over her head. She washes her hands. They are dirty from working. She dries them on the towel that is here.
She comes out of the bathroom and she goes up the stairs.
Upstairs there is a room. There is a bed and a sink and a window inside it. There are plain white sheets on the bed. There is a mirror on the wall above the sink. There are curtains over the window. The curtains are flimsy.
Isobel closes the door at the top of the stairs behind her. She ta
kes her shoes off. She leaves them beside the door.
She leans against the door. It is a large room. It is cold and there is dust in the corners.
It is late. It is dark outside. There is street light coming in through the curtains. There is not much street light coming in through the curtains. It is dark in the room. Isobel cannot see what is inside the room. She can see the shapes of the things in the room but she cannot see them.
She goes to where the bed is. She does not have to see the bed. She knows where it is. She sits down on the bed.
It is her room now.
She should be glad that it is her room now. She is not sure that she is glad.
She rests her head in her hands. Her body hurts. She has not worked like this before. She went to school. She sat in a desk. She does not want her body to hurt. She does not know what she can do to make her body stop hurting.
She rests her head in her hands. Mr.Koch stands at the bottom of the stairs. He is wearing his jacket and a hat. The hat is a very smart-looking hat.
He says: ‘Isobel.’He says: ‘Isobel,we’re closing up for the day.’
Isobel hears him. She does not say anything. She rests her head in her hands. Her fingers work into her hair. She wants to be able to do this.
Mr. Koch says: ‘Will you be all right for the night?’ Isobel does not say anything. Mr. Koch says: ‘Do you need anything?’
Isobel sits on the bed. She works her fingers deeper into her hair. She makes her hands into fists and she pulls.
Mr. Koch says: ‘I will see you in the morning.’ He says: ‘Good night, Isobel.’
She does not say: ‘Good night, Mr. Koch.’
She hears Mr. Koch go out the door that leads into the alley. She hears him close the door behind him. She hears him lock it.
She could look out the window and see him walking away.
She pushes her hair away from her face. She stands up. There is a light bulb hanging from the ceiling. She goes to the middle of the room. She is standing under the light bulb. There is a cord dangling from it. She pulls the cord.
The light turns on.
Isobel is standing in the middle of the room. She does not stand up straight. She is stooped over. She does not want to stand up straight. Her body hurts. She turns towards the sink.
There is a mirror over the sink. She does not want to look into it. She is wearing a nice dress. There are frills around the collar. It is what she wore to the train station.
She wanted to look nice.
The dress is dirty now. She does not have anything else to wear. She does not want to see herself.
She goes to the sink. She pushes her hair away from her face. She washes her face in the sink. She dries her face with the towel hanging next to the sink. There is a towel hanging next to the sink.
She goes back to the bed.
She undoes the buttons on her dress. She lets it drop to the floor. She crawls into the bed.
She wants something else to wear.
She pulls the blanket over herself. She tries to go to sleep.
Emile, I am here.
I am back in your room over the shop. I am here. I wasn’t sure that I would come, I wasn’t sure that I wouldn’t end up back at my mother’s house. I know that I said that I wouldn’t, but even when I said it I didn’t know if I had the courage to really do it.
I did it.
I walked from the train station. I came to the store and I went inside. I went up the stairs.
It was dark. I was afraid to turn the light on. I was afraid that I would be found. I didn’t know what would happen if someone found me. And I wanted to have that one night. I needed it.
I was sitting on your bed. Your bed. I spent the night drinking it all in, so that I will remember everything.
The whole night, my heart was racing. I was terrified and exhilarated and I felt alive, Emile. Cold and hungry and alone and alive.
I felt alive.
I am living here now. I’m going to be working for Mr. Koch. But it doesn’t matter what happens now. I did it. And I will remember it. Whatever happens will be worth it, so long as I can remember that.
I love you.
5
Emile is sitting in a theatre.
Nicolas is not sitting beside him. There are people he does not know sitting beside him. On one side there is someone wearing a hat. On the other is someone with dark brown hair.
He does not know who these people are. He does not think that he had ever seen them before they sat down beside him. Emile is sitting between them. His hands are folded in his lap.He is trying to be calm.
He is waiting for the lights to go out.
The lights go out.
The people in the theatre were talking. They stop talking. It is quiet. Emile makes his hands relax. He rests the palms of his hands on top of his legs.
Everyone looks at the front of the theatre. Emile ’s palms are wet.He wipes them on his trousers. It is a movie theatre. A spotlight turns on in front of the screen.
Someone stands up. She walks to the front of the theatre. She is wearing a nice dress and high-heeled shoes. She does not walk steadily. It is like she is not sure how to walk in high-heeled shoes.
It is Agatha. She is nervous.
Agatha walks to where the light is on in front of the screen. There is a microphone on a stand there. She is carrying a piece of paper in her hand.
She speaks into the microphone. She says what is going to happen. There are going to be short films. They are going to play one after the other.
She says the names of the films. She reads them off the piece of paper in her hand. After she says the name of each film she says the names of the people who made it. Her hair is piled on top of her head. There is a bit that is not piled on top of her head. It is combed so that it goes across her forehead.
The people in the theatre clap after everything she says.
When she says the names of the people who made the films, the people who made the films stand up. They are all in the theatre. When they stand up everyone claps. When they sit down everyone stops clapping. Then Agatha says something else and everyone claps again.
Agatha says Emile ’s name.
He is sitting in the balcony. He hears his name. He is supposed to stand up. He does not stand up all the way. He stands up enough for Agatha to see him.
She looks on the floor. She does not see Emile. Someone in the balcony sees Emile stand up. He starts clapping. Agatha hears him start clapping.
She looks up. She sees Emile. She points to Emile. Everyone starts clapping.
Emile tries to smile. He sits down.
Everyone stops clapping.
Agatha says the name of another film. Everyone claps. She says the names of the people who made the film. They stand up. Everyone claps again. The people who are standing sit down. Everyone stops clapping.
Agatha reads the name of the last film written on the piece of paper in her hand. There is clapping and people standing up and sitting down and then the clapping stops again.
Agatha puts her hands behind her back.
She says: ‘Thank you, everyone, for coming out tonight.’
Everyone claps again. There are some people who shout. Agatha walks back to where she was sitting. The light in front of the screen goes off.
There are curtains over the screen. The curtains open. Everyone stops clapping. The films start playing.
Emile says: ‘Don’t look.’
Isobel puts her hands over her eyes.
This is not in the movie theatre. It is the room over the grocery store. It is Emile’s film.
Isobel is sitting on a bed. It is the bed with plain white sheets. Emile is sitting beside her.
She has her hands over her eyes. Emile stands up.
He says: ‘Promise you won’t look.’
Isobel says: ‘I won’t.’
It is summer. The window is open. Emile’s and Isobel’s feet are bare.
Emile walks to a corner of the ro
om.
There is a suitcase in the corner. Beside it there is a knapsack. They are both on the floor. Beside the knapsack there is a pile of clothes. They are Emile ’s clothes.
Emile opens the suitcase. He reaches inside the suitcase. He does something with his hands inside the suitcase and then he lifts them up into the air. He is moving carefully. There are strings hanging from his fingers.
A girl climbs out of the suitcase. She is not really a girl. She is too small. She fits inside a suitcase. She is made of wood.
She climbs out of the suitcase and she stands on the floor. She turns her head like she is looking around the room. It is like she is looking for something.
She starts to walk. She puts one of her feet in front of her other foot. She moves clumsily. She takes a step. She takes another step.
She is walking towards Isobel.
Emile says: ‘Open your eyes.’
Emile is kneeling in the middle of the room. Isobel opens her eyes. She sees him. His body is bent over the girl standing on the floor. Isobel looks at Emile and then she looks at the girl standing on the floor in front of him.
The girl stops moving.
She stops moving because there is someone looking at her. It is like she is shy. She looks down at the floor. She stands still. Isobel looks at her. Isobel makes a small sound. The girl looks up at her.
Isobel says: ‘Is that my hair?’
The girl has thick black hair. It hangs down her back to her waist. Her eyes are made from dark glass beads.
Emile says: ‘It is.’ He says: ‘This is you.’
Isobel says: ‘Oh.’
She looks at the girl again. The girl looks up at her. Isobel smiles.
Isobel says: ‘I like her.’
Emile says: ‘She wants to say something.’
Isobel says: ‘She does?’
Emile says: ‘She does.’
The girl moves her hands to touch her hair. She moves it so that it is not in her face. She moves her hands over her dress. She makes it look neat. She holds her hands in front of her.