by Jayne, Kris
“I wanted a summer wedding, but we don’t have time this year. And I don’t want to wait until next year, so I’m talking myself into fall or winter. A wedding at Christmas would give my family from Mexico more time off to come up for the wedding.”
“Your bridesmaids can wear Santa’s helper outfits.”
Alexa thought she’d look cute in a red velvet mini. Melissa tipped back in the chair and roared.
“Oh, no. I have to do this traditional all the way. My mother will have my head. And Kyle’s head. And the heads of anyone within a hundred-mile radius.” She shot forward and pointed at Alexa. “I’m counting on you to be one of my bridesmaids. I’ll need someone to keep us all from getting too serious. Plus, you’re the woman to plan one hell of a bachelorette party.”
“I am that woman. You can count on me.”
Alexa listened as Melissa detailed her preliminary wedding plans. She hadn’t seen her friend this bright and happy in a long time—maybe ever. Love and good news agreed with Melissa, and it felt a bit contagious. Her partner’s energy rolled over her and began to sink in as they settled down to go through their construction expenses.
Excitement about their new venture fluttered in Alexa’s chest. “This could work.”
Melissa snickered. “Don’t sound so surprised. We’re two women who know what we’re doing.”
“I know. It’s still astounding when it starts to all come together. It’s like, ‘Oh, my, God. We’re really doing this.’”
“Oh,” Melissa looked up from shuffling through her papers. “The construction supervisor stopped me on my way in, he said we need to get the management company’s okay to repaint the exterior when we’re done.”
“I’ll take care of that today. Shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Of course not. You can get your boyfriend to handle it.”
“Do not start that again.”
Alexa scribbled a note to call Charlie Kaiser, who worked for Graham, avoiding Melissa’s eyes, which were bright with scheming zeal.
“But I love the look you get on your face every time I bring him up. Annoyed. Haughty. A tiny smile.”
Alexa put on her grimmest visage. “I’m not smiling.”
“You could be. I don’t know why you’re fighting this.”
With a sigh, Alexa launched into the story. “The Adam situation wasn’t the only news over the weekend. Graham and I met for dinner on Saturday.”
“For Valentine’s Day?” Melissa’s tone arched with intrigued surprise.
“No. Just for a…date. It was a date, but it had nothing to do with Valentine’s. We’re hardly sweethearts.”
“Did it not go well?”
“It did, at first, but we ended up in a fight, and then he basically called me a slut.”
Melissa squinted, dubious. “What exactly did he say?”
“He said I give myself away free and easy. Except for my feelings.”
“Okay. That’s a little rude, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Look, Lex, if the shoe fits…” Melissa shrugged. “He was stating a fact. A fact that I’ve heard you say about yourself a million times.”
Alexa glared.
“You have! Don’t get mad at me!”
“He’s one to talk.”
“Then, you’re perfect for each other.” Amusement tinged Melissa’s quick retort.
“You really don’t think I have a right to be upset?”
“Upset, yes. Terminally pissed off? No. Tell him that you didn’t appreciate it. Have a conversation. He’ll probably apologize, and then you can move on. No guy is going to be perfect all the time. They screw up.” She tossed her hands up. “All the time, they screw up.”
“That, I know.”
Melissa gathered her papers and shoved them into her vegan leather satchel and grinned. “Do what you want, but my wedding will be a lot more fun if you bring a hot date.”
“Why bring a date when I can meet a hot guy at the wedding?”
“Like who? You’ve met all of Kyle’s friends and had no interest in any of them. Most of his relatives are female. And you know all of my friends. It’ll be slim pickings.”
“I’m sure one of you has a hot cousin buried somewhere.”
“Or bring Adam. From the picture you showed me, he was incredibly handsome and looked incredibly into you. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“I thought you were all about pushing me toward Graham.”
“I’m pushing you toward happiness. You like Graham.”
Alexa met her friend’s suggestion with the denial of an interrogated murder suspect in her eyes. Melissa wasn’t having it.
“You do. And you seemed to like Adam, too. I don’t know which guy is right for you. Find out! See where it’s going—either one. Pick one.”
“What if the answer is neither?”
Melissa’s glance pooh-poohed that idea. “Then, you’ll be flying solo at my wedding. Sad, sad. You’re too gorgeous to be dateless.”
“Jesus.” Alexa snorted, getting up to toss her empty breakfast container in the trash.
“We need to get next door to meet with the decorator. Try to at least consider the idea that you could have something real with one of these guys.”
Alexa harrumphed and grumbled, which made Melissa curse in Spanish.
“Only you could have two hot, successful men after you and find a reason to be dissatisfied.”
Alexa chose not to respond. The conversation annoyed and fatigued her. She didn’t see why she had to pick door number one or door number two. Sometimes on Let’s Make a Deal, you’re better off going with none of the above—before you end up with a jackass.
Chapter Thirteen
Alexa avoided Graham’s calls and texts all week, but she couldn’t duck him forever.
She and Graham had a meeting on Friday evening to check out a venue recommendation from Taryn for the fundraiser. The event coordinator walked them around the property before leaving to take a call.
Alexa stood on the edge of the ballroom, looking out at the expanse of lawn and the glint of the lake beyond it. The beauty mesmerized her. She made a note to mention the place to Melissa.
“This would be a great place to have a wedding. You have the ceremony outside, and then move inside for the reception. Or maybe set up tents and keep everything outside.”
“Are you planning a wedding?” Shock took Graham’s voice up nearly an octave.
Alexa ran her tongue along the top row of her teeth and pinched her mouth shut to keep from saying something she would regret. “Melissa got engaged to her boyfriend, Kyle.”
“Oh, tell her I said congratulations. That’s great.”
“I’m sure she’ll appreciate that. I’m thrilled for her.”
Graham snickered. “I figured you might be in mourning. Your friend becomes one of the fallen. I know what that’s like.”
“You know, I’m not nearly as against commitment as you think that I am. I’m happy when the people who want that get it. Hell, I even got engaged once.”
“Really? So what happened there? If you don’t mind my asking.” Almost immediately, Graham shook his head. “Forget it. It’s none of my business.”
“No, it’s fine. I thought I wanted to get married, and I thought I knew who I was marrying. It turned out I was wrong on both counts. It wasn’t the right time or the right guy.”
“That happens.”
“Have you ever even been close to getting married?”
“I’ve never been engaged—not even close. I guess I thought about it with my college girlfriend. You know how it is when you get close to graduation and all your friends are starting to propose and your girlfriend’s looking at you? I considered it, but I was too young.”
“She was okay with that?”
“Nooo, she wasn’t.” Graham drew out each word. “We got in this huge fight. Half her friends got engaged, and she expected me to come through with the ring. I told her why hurry, we’re o
nly twenty-two. She didn’t see it that way.”
His jaw flexed, and Alexa waited for him to work his way through a pensive pause. “She got married a year later to the father of one of her sorority sisters. He was maybe forty-seven or forty-eight. Old. Or it seemed so at the time.”
“That’s still pretty old be dating a twenty-two-year-old. Plus, one of your daughter’s friends? That’s gross.”
Graham tossed out an arid laugh. “She really wanted to get married. And she got what she wanted. Plus, back then, I couldn’t have given her a Porsche for wedding gift.”
“No one ever dates an old guy who’s poor. Your wealth better climb with your age if you want a pretty young woman on your arm.”
Graham stared out the floor-to-ceiling window. Alexa moved closer to him, shoulder to shoulder, taking in his stern profile.
“I have no idea what Matthew—my ex fiancé—is doing now. I doubt he ever got married. Or if he did, he’s already traded her in for a new model. He was very into women maintaining, you know, their beauty, their figure. God forbid a woman have a baby and gain a little weight.”
She ran a hand through her hair and shook her head as if trying to shake the thoughts out. “He used to make the most vulgar jokes about what happened to a woman after she had a baby. He told me he’d have to make sure to get me a surrogate, so I wouldn’t have the baby myself.”
Graham snorted. “He sounds a total asshole.”
“He was joking. I guess. My parents absolutely hated him, which they didn’t tell me until after I broke off the engagement. My mother said she was trying to be supportive. My father said he never would’ve let me get married to that guy. They’ve been married forever and are completely happy with each other. I’d never want anything less than that.”
“My parents stayed married too. I don’t know that they were always so happy with each other. They seemed happy enough.”
“What does that mean, ‘happy enough?’”
Graham brought his gaze back into the room, settling on her. “My father was married before, but his first wife left him. Then, he met my mother, and they dated. My mother got pregnant with me, so they got married. I don’t think either one of them were the other’s first choice, but they love each other.”
“How do you know?”
“My mom got sick a few years ago with early stage Parkinson’s disease. My dad was so devoted to her. The way he looked at her. He brought her these little gifts to make her smile. He did his best right up until the end.”
Alexa wrapped her arm around his. “That’s sweet. I’m sorry to hear about your mother.”
Graham patted Alexa’s hand. The softness in his eyes made her heart squeeze. The thought of losing a parent made her bones shiver.
“My parents were college sweethearts. My mother never seriously dated anyone but my dad. He’s been her entire life. It’s hard on her. He’s a cop. He doesn’t patrol anymore, but still...my mom is counting down to his retirement at the end of the year. I can only imagine what it would be like to lose a parent. That’s…I don’t even know what to say.”
“It’s okay. It’s not easy. No matter how old you are, but I can’t imagine feeling that fear of losing your parent as a kid. At least I was an adult before I had to think about that.”
“I try not to think about it at all. He’s a detective now, so it’s better.” She nearly continued, but found she had nothing else to say on the topic.
“You mentioned Oklahoma City the other night. Is that where you’re from?”
“Yes. My dad is on the force there.”
Alexa shifted from leg to leg, dodging eye contact with Graham to avoid breaching the wall she mentally erected as they spoke.
Her childhood had been a good one, and she hated talking about the downsides of what her father did for a living. Contemplating what can go wrong and saying it out loud were taboo in her house.
“Do you two have any other questions?”
The sudden inquiry from the event manager caused Alexa to jump away from Graham as if they’d been caught necking under the bleachers. Alexa stuttered, and Graham assured the hotel representative they were fine. After his smooth reply, they made their way back out to the parking lot.
Alexa reached her car door and then felt Graham’s hand on her elbow. His touch both calmed and excited her.
“Listen, about the other night, I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was judging you. I think you have every right to do what you want with me or anyone else.”
The combination of his imploring apology and the bright twilight sun behind him crinkled her brow. Half of her wanted to jump in the car and peel out. The other half soaked up Graham’s touch like a thirsty plant.
“You don’t have to apologize. You were basically telling the truth. That’s how I’ve been in relationships, but that doesn’t mean that’s all I’ll ever want. I’m open to more if the guy warrants it.”
She intended that to be her conciliatory, parting note, but his jaw tightened.
“And I don’t?”
This time, she reached out and squeezed his upper arm. Graham tensed at the contact. A charge of tension and excitement passed between them.
* * *
This conversation should have made him run the other direction. Alexa presented a confused mix of wanting reassurance and commitment out of a man while offering little in return. He knew he should recognize that for the nightmare it was, but he couldn’t. Graham felt more determination than aversion.
“I don’t know if you do or you don’t.”
“I might, then.”
Alexa fidgeted with her car door handle. Nervous humor crept into her voice. “You might. I don’t know. I’m not good at this, to be honest. I practice not bothering to look for more than that.”
“That’s too bad.”
“I need to get going.”
Graham accepted her unconvincing mutter as if she meant it. “Okay. So, I’ll see you around?”
“Probably. Look, I don’t mean to make it sound like…I don’t know. Like I’m not interested or that you’re not worth my time or however it sounds. I mean it when I say I’m not good at this.”
“At what, exactly?”
“Building more. Relationships.”
The utter confusion on her face beguiled him. He could show her what more looked like—if she let him.
He stepped toward her and brushed her chin with his thumb, settling it in the divot under her bottom lip. His other hand slipped behind her neck, feeling the soft fuzz of her hairline under his fingertips. He leaned in, but didn’t kiss her.
“This is more, right now. No rushing into bed. No rushing out the door. Just standing here together. Now.”
Her breath heaved, and he pulled his right thumb forward under her jaw. Her pulse beat against it, faster and faster. His eyes met hers. Her lids lowered in expectation.
“Kiss me.”
He held back.“No.”
As the moment expanded, her lips parted. Her tongue slid over her bottom lip and back again before she caught the edge of the plump flesh between her teeth. The movement almost undid him, but he kept his jaw snapped shut and went back to staring at the sparks of jade in the brown of her eyes.
She pressed forward, touching her forehead to his. Her mouth opened wider, but only to release a huffing laugh, then a whisper. “How long are we going to stay like this?”
“However long you’ll let me.”
“Okay then.”
Alexa lifted her chin and moved her lips lightly over his. Her breath mixed with his own, and the sensation pulled the blood away from his brain and to a lower, less thoughtful place. He held his breath.
Not giving her what she wanted only encouraged her. She extended the tip of her tongue to Graham’s lips and traced halfway around the bottom one before the desperation of desire overtook his control.
He grabbed her by the hair and thrust his tongue into her mouth, breathing again and like it wa
s for the first time. The taste of her awakened memories of her body clenching his, and he lost himself.
He dropped his hands to her hips and gripped her closer, pressing his clothed erection between her legs and advancing until her ass stopped against her car door.
Her hands closed around his head, urging him deeper into her mouth. Her sweetness and fervor electrified every nerve in his body. Then, as suddenly as they came together, her palms shoved him backward, and he had to let her go. Her warmth left him.
One soft brown gaze met another.
“I’m hungry,” she declared. “Buy me dinner?”
“I could make you dinner at my place, but you live closer.”
“You can pick something up on the way to mine.”
“Deal.”
Graham stepped away from her.
She stood like a statue, hand poised on her car door. Leaving her frozen, he weaved through the lot toward his SUV and jumped in, feeling an urgency that scared him.
Chapter Fourteen
Alexa tested the limits of her sports car to get home. She showered at record speed, pinning her hair up in a plastic shower cap so she wouldn’t have to spend half an hour blow-drying it. She skipped redoing her makeup and threw on a T-shirt and jeans over a matching set of lace underwear in deep lavender.
The woman staring back at her in the mirror turned, posed, and declared herself ready for prime time.
When Graham knocked on the front door, her legs stiffened with nervous energy as she approached it slowly, breathing deeply.
Alexa leaned on the open door. “Hey. What’s for dinner?”
Graham gripped the handles of the paper bag with two hands as he came in. “A steak and veggie dinner and a salmon and veggie dinner. I know you like to eat healthy. Take your pick.”
SheS bent closer to get a view of her dinner. “I’ll take the salmon.”
“I did okay, then?”
Graham moved the bag to one hand and tipped up her chin with his other index finger.
“Fishing for compliments?”
“I went in search of food. I want to know if my lady is pleased.”