So what? After everything Colt had learned about dealing with disabled kids, he had a good idea. Rudy could be autistic. Could be severely autistic.
Was he at Camp Cowboy?
Was it possible? Was one of the kids at the camp Amber’s nephew? He immediately thought of Dee.
“Do you have a picture of him?”
“Why?” Logan pounced. “Do you suspect where he might be?”
“I might,” Logan admitted.
“Oh, man, Colt, I’d sign over the registration papers of Ronnie tomorrow if you could tell me where Rudy is. Crap. I should have given you a photo before now. The only one I have is from when he was younger.”
“Send it anyway.”
“You bet I will. Anything to find Rudy.”
Why?
Colt had heard Logan might get parole soon. Was that why he wanted to find Rudy? So he could snatch him away from Amber? If it was his son, Colt would want to do the same. But Rudy wasn’t…like normal kids. Colt was certain of it.
“Just email me the photo.”
“I’ll have to scan it in,” Logan said. “That means I’ll have to wait until I have access to a computer. Give me a few days.”
A few days. That meant the weekend. Colt didn’t think he could wait that long. But he had to.
“Whatever it takes,” he said.
“Thanks, buddy,” Logan said. “Thanks a lot.”
Colt hung up, collapsing on the bed. There were thirty kids at the camp, half of them autistic. That would make it easy to narrow down.
He might find Rudy today.
And if he did? Then what?
He had no idea.
HE’D BEEN IGNORING HER for a week.
And Amber was hurt, she admitted, staring out her bedroom window.
It was stupid. Ridiculous, really. They were wrong for each other. He obviously thought the same thing. She should be grateful to him.
But she wasn’t.
And now it was Saturday morning. The weekend, and even though the kids were in residence 24/7, she had them off, which meant she had nothing to do. And she was feeling sorry for herself.
Someone knocked on the door.
Amber’s heart leaped.
“Amber? You in there?”
Melissa. Damn it.
“I’m here.”
Melissa let herself in. “Come on,” she said excitedly. “Let’s go down to the barn.”
“What? Why?”
“I just saw a horse trailer head that way,” her new friend said. “I think we have some new horses arriving.”
“Oh, well, I don’t know…” Colt would be down there. Amber didn’t think she could stomach seeing him.
“Come on,” Melissa urged, grabbing her hand. “You look so glum. This’ll be fun.”
But as they left the shadow of the lodge, the sun already high enough in the clear blue sky to cast one, Amber told herself this was a mistake.
“Don’t you think Colt is cute?” Melissa asked with a smile and a flick of her long brown hair as they walked toward the barn.
“Oh, um. I hadn’t thought about it.”
“Come on.” She punched her in the arm. “You had to have noticed how hot he is.”
Yes…yes, she had. “He’s not my type.”
“Really,” Melissa drawled. “He sure is my type. Does he have a girlfriend, do you know?”
Yup. Just as Amber had thought. The man could attract women by the dozen. One more reason to stay away from him.
“Oooh, look. There he is,” Melissa said.
They’d made it to the barn without Amber even noticing. And Melissa was right. There was a trailer in front, with CAMP COWBOY stenciled on the side, and beneath it, THERAPUTIC RIDING RANCH, SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA. Colt was standing by the cab and talking to the ranch manager, whom Amber hadn’t seen in a good week.
“Hi, Buck,” Melissa called out. The grizzled old man in the straw cowboy hat looked over and waved. Mac stopped dancing around and headed straight for Amber.
“Hey, Mac.” She stroked his soft fur.
“Hi, Colt,” Melissa added.
Amber gave her colleague credit; she didn’t gush.
But Melissa’s interest made her sick.
She wanted Colt.
“Hey,” Colt said, his eyes seeking hers.
Amber gave Mac one last pat and walked toward him. “Hey,” she answered.
“Have you met Buck?” Colt asked. “He’s the ranch manager.”
“Yes, of course.” Amber shook the old cowboy’s worn and work-hardened hand. “Last week. But you’ve been gone awhile.”
Buck nodded, his stooped frame making him appear older than he was. “Out buying more horses.” He hooked his fingers into his jeans. He was short and had a portly belly, but she’d heard he was one of the best at managing horses. “Too many kids, not enough rides,” the stocky man said with a smile.
“Can I help unload them?” Melissa asked. Mac was begging for attention from her now.
Colt went to the rear of the trailer and opened the door without another word.
He’s just doing his job, Amber thought.
Mac caught on to what was going on and raced after him. It amazed her how the dog knew exactly what to do. Mac backed up, his eyes on the trailer, ready to act the instant his human needed help.
“My dad had a rope horse,” she heard Melissa say.
“Well, then,” Buck said, “you can lead the horse Colt’s about to unload to the third stall on the right.”
Hooves banged inside the trailer. Mac’s head tipped sideways. Amber moved to the right so she could see inside. Was Colt getting trampled? It sure sounded like—
He led a horse out.
Idiot! It was just hooves on the trailer floor. But for a minute she’d felt…she’d felt terrified. Worried about a man she liked.
She liked Colt.
“Give the lead to Melissa there,” Buck ordered.
Colt didn’t even look at her as he handed over the brown horse. Melissa’s smile was wasted, for he simply headed back in.
So it wasn’t just her, Amber thought.
“You can lead the next horse.”
It took her a moment to realize Buck had spoken to her. “Me?”
“Nobody else standing next to you, is there?”
Amber heard the same banging and thumping as before, only this time Colt led out a spotted pony. “Oh, my gosh, he’s adorable.”
“It’s a she,” Colt said.
When she glanced up she found him staring at her in a way that made her heart beat faster and her mouth go dry. It was all she could do to remember to take the lead rope from him.
“Fourth stall on the right,” Buck said.
“Okay.” Amber took one last glance at Colt. “Come on, girl.”
“Petal,” Buck said. “The pony’s name is Petal.”
Despite the fact that she really didn’t trust any horse, small or not, “Petal” amused her. “Let’s go see your new home.”
The little pony followed meekly behind. Mac trailed them as if waiting for a chance to jump in and help. There was something about ponies that kids—and, apparently, adults—couldn’t resist. She suspected the camp’s autistic charges would be no more immune to their charms than any other child in the world.
“You’re going to be such a pampered pony,” Amber told Petal as she opened the stall door. Mac appeared to know that he needed to stay outside. She paused for a moment to get her bearings, and noticed that someone—probably Colt—had taken the time to lower the horse feeder and the water inside. “And wait until you meet the kids,” Amber added, leading the tiny animal forward. “You’re going to love them.”
“Oooh, that one is so cute,” Melissa said, obviously done putting her horse away. She peered at them from near the doorway. “Look at those spots. It’s like a mini-leopard appy.”
“A miniature leopard what?”
“Appy,” Melissa said. “An Appaloosa. They’re the horses w
ith spots. Not a big fan of them myself. They can be as stubborn as mules. And I’ve never been big on white around the eye. But this girl is adorable. Look at her big brown eyes.” Melissa came in and wrapped her arms around the pony’s neck. “She’s just so tiny.”
“She’s going to be real good for the kids,” Buck interjected. Behind him, Colt walked past with yet another horse in tow. “Picked her up for a song,” Buck added. “Came from a carnival outfit down south. She was one of those pony ride horses. Bet she’ll be happy not to have to walk in circles a million times a day.”
“No kidding,” Melissa said with a sympathetic shake of her head. “Poor thing. I’ve often wondered what kind of life that was for a pony. Tied up all day. But no more. Now you get to have kids love on you all day long.”
“Anything else you need me to do?” Colt asked.
“Nope. That’s the last. Just keep an eye on them tonight. Make sure they settle in good.”
“I’d like to go riding,” Melissa said. “If it’s okay, Buck.”
“’Course it’s okay,” the older cowboy said. “I would encourage all you therapists to ride.”
He looked straight at Amber.
“Oh, um, I’ve got some stuff to do up at the lodge,” she mumbled.
“Nonsense. That can wait. Colt, go and saddle up Flash for her.”
“No, really,” she said. “I have reports to write. Parents to call. I don’t have time to ride. I’d just like to pet the pony for a little bit longer, if that’s okay. She’s more my size.”
She couldn’t look at Colt. Was worried that if she met his gaze he’d see how much she’d missed him all week. How every time she saw him she remembered what they’d done in her room.
“Suit yourself,” Buck said. “Melissa, I take it you know how to saddle a horse?”
“Sure do.”
Amber felt a pang of envy toward her friend.
“Great. You can take Flash then. I’ll saddle up one of the other horses. I understand you can ride all the way to the beach from here. Let’s see if that’s true. Colt, why don’t you park the truck and trailer out back for me and then keep on mucking stalls.”
Amber focused on the pony. She wanted Colt to stay behind. To talk to her.
She heard a noise. Her heart leaped.
“You okay?” she heard him ask.
“Fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
He started to enter the stall, ordering Mac to stay outside.
“Colt…”
“Shh.” He closed the door. “Just shh.”
He touched her face. And Amber was lost.
Chapter Eleven
What are you doing?
He shouldn’t touch her. What if Logan really understood this woman better than he did? After all, Colt had met her just a few days ago. But he couldn’t seem to stop himself.
“Just shh,” he warned her, glancing outside the stall to make sure they were alone.
Logan would skin him alive if he knew of the lascivious thoughts Colt was having about his ex-sister-in-law. And yet he couldn’t seem to pull away.
He kissed her. He didn’t care that Buck and Melissa were outside. Didn’t care that Amber and he were in the middle of a stall. Didn’t care about anything.
He could fall in love with this woman.
The thought came as a shock. He drew back.
“What’s wrong?”
God, what a mess.
Logan was wrong about her, Colt was certain. Amber didn’t keep his son away out of cruelty. She did it for Rudy’s sake.
Colt had the little boy’s picture in his pocket, had been checking it against the children in the camp ever since he’d received it last night. But Logan was right. It was too old. The child in the picture was too young, his face softened by baby fat. The kids at this camp were older. Colt had sent Logan an email advising him of the fact, but he had yet to hear back.
“Colt?”
He drew her toward him, so conflicted, so filled with longing. She was so incredibly lovely. “Amber,” he said softly.
The moment their mouths connected, he couldn’t seem to stop himself. His tongue slid across her lips and he tipped his head to the side for better access. He fitted his body to hers in such a way that she couldn’t misunderstand his intentions.
“Colt,” she moaned when he nibbled the shell of her ear. He felt her shift, and she captured his hand.
Brought it to her breast.
“Touch me,” he heard her whisper. “Touch me here.”
She pressed herself against him, then did some exploring of her own.
“Jeez,” he murmured when she touched him, stroked his length.
She didn’t let the fabric of his jeans deter her. He dropped his hand, his mouth finding the side of her neck. And then he found her center.
“Yes.” She moaned again.
Their lips met once more and he almost lost himself. Here. In the middle of a damn stall.
“Amber,” he murmured.
“Just grab the curb bit.”
Buck. They sprang apart.
“They’re all hanging on the wall to the left,” the ranch manager was saying.
As she passed, Melissa glanced in the stall, saw them and stumbled.
“And this is the horse’s fetlock,” Colt pronounced loudly.
“Uh-huh,” Amber said.
But Melissa wasn’t stupid.
She gave them a look and kept on walking.
“Crap,” Amber said, straightening. “Crap, crap, crap.”
“Amber—”
She left him standing there, nearly colliding with Buck on her way out.
“Excuse me,” she said, and then was gone.
Mac tried to follow, but Colt ordered him to stay.
“What happened?” Buck asked.
“Nothing,” he said blandly.
It was a lie.
Chapter Twelve
“Damn it, damn it, damn it,” Amber cursed as she closed her bedroom door behind her. She stripped off her clothes.
She smelled like Colt.
“There must be something wrong with me,” she muttered.
Her room was on the utilitarian side, with off-white walls, white drapes at the window, a single bed against one of the walls. Wooden chair, a tiny desk, tiny closet… She sank into the chair.
Someone knocked on her door.
Colt?
“Amber, you have a phone call,” one of her coworkers called. “Line two.”
Not Colt. Disappointment sluiced through her.
“Hello?”
“Where’s my son?”
“Logan,” she said sharply.
“Why the hell haven’t you returned my emails?”
She took a deep breath. “Logan, I can’t put him on the phone. He can’t talk to you. You know that.”
“Because you won’t let him talk to me.”
She clenched the phone. “He’s autistic.”
“So he’s got a learning disability,” Logan said. “That’s nothing.”
Lord, she was tired of his denials. “I have tried, countless times, to put him on the phone. He won’t do it. Something about the plastic against his face—”
“Liar.”
“I’m going to hang up.”
“Don’t you dare.”
This was how it always went. Logan would insult her. She would lose patience trying to explain things. He would call her a bitch, or worse. She would hang up.
She took another deep breath. Not this time. Time to take the bull by the horns. To settle the matter, because quite frankly, she couldn’t take this anymore.
“Okay, look,” she said. “I promise to arrange a visit next month.” She could take Dee back to Sonoma herself, pop in to see Logan on the way there.
“Liar.”
“Stop saying that! I’m not lying, Logan. I’ll call the prison and arrange it right away.”
“Why don’t I believe you? Oh, wait, I know. Because then you woul
d have done it before this. It’s been more than a year.”
She sighed. She didn’t understand the animosity. She was doing the best she could with Dee. She was the one who’d been wronged. It was her sister who’d died. She should be the one yelling at him on the phone. For driving drunk.
“I promise, Logan,” she finally said. “I’ll set it all up next week.”
She hung up before he could call her a liar again. But she sat there for a long time afterward, staring out the window. She could see the barn from her room, and occasionally Colt and Mac down there.
She got up to go visit Dee.
He was staying in a room on the next floor down. Someone had come up with the idea of painting the hall blue, with a rainbow snaking around the doorways and walls. At the end of the rainbow closest to the stairs was the nurse’s station. The head nurse, Nancy, smiled and waved. Amber had invented a cover story to explain her visits. She’d let it slip that Dee was the subject of a paper she was writing for her master’s thesis. Nobody had questioned her.
She found him in his room, staring outside, ironically, just as she had been.
“Hey, kiddo.”
He didn’t turn. Didn’t look at her. Didn’t acknowledge her presence in any way, shape or form.
“How do you like your bedroom?”
As if he would answer. She almost laughed at herself. She sat on his bed. Like at his regular care facility, Dee was pretty much left to himself here. He was supervised, of course, but was usually in his room unless it was time for one of his therapy sessions, or mealtime.
Amber wondered what that was like. Wondered what he thought of all of it. But she had a feeling he preferred to be left alone. Autistic children were the epitome of antisocial.
“I think I’m going to take you to go see your dad in a few weeks.”
He blinked, sunlight softening the edges of his face.
“I really don’t want to, but I think it’s time to try again.”
Dee didn’t seem to care. He was starting to look like a young man, she noticed. Even his hair had darkened.
Where had the time gone?
Her eyes watered, and she wondered if she’d done the right thing in keeping him away from his dad. Should she have given up her job, too? Gone on social welfare? Kept him with her? Or had it been the right choice to move him into a place that specialized in giving the care he needed? That kept him safe and away from things that might harm him? She honestly didn’t know.
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