“It was a choice,” she said. “One that cost my sister her life.” And custody of your son.
“We had decided to get back together again,” he stated. “I’ve told you before, we were celebrating.”
“Yeah, right,” she scoffed.
“I know you don’t believe me,” he said, and for a second she heard something in his voice, something she’d never heard before. Sorrow. Pain. Guilt. “You’ve never believed me, but I’m telling you the truth, Amber. Just like I’m telling you the God’s honest truth now. I want my son back.”
“We’ll be gone.”
“You told me you’d let me see him.”
“That was before.”
“Before you knew you’d be seeing me face-to-face? Without Plexiglas between us?”
“Something like that,” she murmured.
“I knew you hadn’t changed. He told me you had. That you weren’t as horrible as I thought, but you are.”
“Who told you I’d changed?”
“The friend who’s done me a favor. He actually begged me to give you a chance. It’s why I’m calling. Because I wanted to believe him.”
She didn’t think it was possible for her blood to turn colder, but it did. “Who?” she asked.
“Doesn’t matter.”
But she knew. She just knew.
“I swear to you, Logan, if you really want me to bring Dee to you, you’ll tell me who it is.”
“Dee? Is that what you call him?”
“It’s what I’ve always called him.”
“No wonder why he didn’t put two and two together.”
“Who?”
There was a momentary pause. “Colt Sheridan. Sound familiar?”
She squeezed her eyes closed. Clenched the cell phone. “Oh, yeah. It sounds familiar all right.”
“I offered to give him one of my old rope horses in exchange for his help.”
“Really?” she said. “What a deal.”
And then she turned off the phone.
Chapter Nineteen
“You son of a bitch!”
Colt’s eyes snapped open, the room still dark though it was early morning.
“You lying sack of—”
He sat up in bed, shocked to see Amber standing over him, a look in her eyes unlike any he’d ever seen on a woman’s face before.
“Get out,” she snarled.
“What?” he asked, blinking the sleep from his eyes. “Amber, what’s going on?”
“I can’t believe you,” she said. “You traded us off for a rope horse.”
“Rope horse? What are you—” His spine snapped upright. Holy…
She knew.
“Amber, calm down.”
“Calm down? You want me to calm down?”
Her usually pale skin was flushed red. “Get out,” she repeated, pointing toward the door. But then she seemed to crumple. She lifted her hands to her mouth, tears pouring from her eyes. “Get out, you son of a bitch,” she sobbed. “Now.”
He pulled the covers off and went to her. “No. I’m not leaving. Not until I explain.”
“Explain what?” She stepped away from him before he could touch her. “That you were spying on me. That two weeks you were at Camp Cowboy to report back to Logan. Logan!” she said, her mouth trembling. “The one man on earth I loathe.” She hissed in a breath.
Colt tried to calm himself down, but there was no escaping the bitter truth. He’d done exactly as she accused.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said. “I…” God, he didn’t know what to say. “When I started working at Camp Cowboy, I expected to meet a selfish, arrogant woman. That’s how Logan made you sound. Instead I met you.”
“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?” she asked. “Well, it doesn’t.”
She had no reason to forgive him. “Yes, I got the job at Camp Cowboy as a way of getting close to you.”
She wiped her eyes, and it broke his heart.
“As a way to find Dee.” He swallowed. “In exchange for a rope horse.”
She quietly sobbed.
“And I’m so sorry, Amber. I never meant for things to turn out like this. I never expected to fall in love with you.”
She huffed out a laugh. “Love,” she said. “Hah.”
“I do love you.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
“I tried to,” he said. “Just before Dee got sick, when we were in the hallway, I tried.”
“Save it,” she said, holding up a hand. He wanted to wipe away the tear tracks on her face.
“No,” he said. “I’m not going to save it.” He tried to touch her. “I love you, Amber. I don’t know how it happened. Don’t know how it’s possible when we practically just met, but I do love you.”
“I’m leaving,” she said.
He realized then that she was dressed, and that her hair was brushed and her shoes were on.
“No,” he said, darting in front of her. “Don’t go.”
“Get out of my way, Colt.”
“Amber, please. Yes, I got hired at Camp Cowboy because of you, but then I started working with the kids. Watched what happened when you worked with them and it…touched me.” And goddamn it all to hell, he felt tears come to his own eyes. “The past two weeks have meant more to me than the past many years,” he said, reaching out a hand.
She flinched away from his touch.
“Yes, I was in contact with Logan, but it was to ask him not to take Dee away from you. And I didn’t tell him where Dee was. I swear to you.”
She’d stopped crying. From somewhere deep inside her she’d found strength. God, he wished he could, too. “I don’t believe you.” She stepped around him.
“Amber—”
But she was gone.
“Damn it!” Colt slammed his fist against the wall, only to collapse to the floor a moment later and cry…cry as he hadn’t done since the day his family died.
SHE WENT BACK to the hospital, but not before alerting security that she had a stalker who had tracked her to the facility. It was the truth, or close enough to the truth that it must have shown in her eyes. She didn’t want to see Colt, either, so she told them nobody was allowed inside. The black-clothed security guard didn’t hesitate. “I’ll get right on it.”
Whatever the officer did, it must have worked. She didn’t see Colt. She went back to Dee’s room and pasted a bright smile on her face.
“Everything looks good,” Dr. Salazar reported an hour later. “He was dehydrated. Probably the new environment. You know how kids like this are. They’ll spit stuff out when you’re not looking. You might want to monitor his fluids for the next week or two. I’ll send instructions along to the home he’s in.”
“Thanks,” she said softly.
Dr. Salazar cocked his head. “You okay? You look worried.”
“No, no,” she said. “I’m fine. Just tired.” She forced another smile. “Long night.”
“I’m sure it was. But things will get better from here on out. You can take him back to this residence—” he glanced down at his paperwork “—Camp Cowboy.”
“Thanks,” she said.
“Good luck, Ms. Brooks. It’s not easy dealing with a child like Dee. Get some rest. You look like you need it.”
“Yeah,” she huffed, holding back tears. “I think you’re right.”
He patted her on the arm and left the room. Amber sat in the chair to wait for the discharge papers. Dee sat in his bed, staring at the TV above it as if it held answers to all the questions in the universe…and maybe it did.
“Here we go,” a nurse said eventually, startling her. “All ready.” She was pushing a wheelchair, their discharge papers on the seat. “Will your nephew listen to instructions?”
“Not really,” Amber said, getting up. “But it’s always worth a try.”
She sat on the edge of Dee’s bed. “Dee, we’re leaving.”
No reaction.
She dipped h
er head in front of him, blocked his vision. “You ready to go, kiddo?”
He leaned away from her, eyes so much like her sister’s staring upward.
I want to see my son.
And he’d sounded so sincere. Almost desperate. She’d never heard Logan talk like that.
“Come on,” she said, slowly reaching for Dee’s hand. He jerked when she touched him.
It was one thing too many.
“Please, Dee,” she said. “Don’t make this hard on me. I don’t think I can take it today.”
He didn’t move.
“I love you, kiddo,” she said, trying to keep from crying…again. Damn it. She couldn’t lose him. Couldn’t bear not being a part of his life. “Auntie loves you so much.” She needed to hold on to that thought. That was all that mattered.
She stood, held out her hand.
“Come on.”
Dee actually listened.
Gil had sent a car earlier that afternoon. It was a short ride back to Camp Cowboy, but it took every ounce of her resolve to get out when they arrived. What if she saw Colt? What would she do? What should she do? Should she tell Gil what he’d done?
But, as it turned out, she needn’t have worried.
“Did you hear what happened?” Melissa asked. “Colt quit. Just up and packed his bags and left. Buck and Gil are beside themselves.”
“I’m not surprised,” Amber heard herself answer, though she wasn’t certain if she was responding to Melissa’s comments about Buck and Gil or the fact that Colt had quit. “I’m going to settle Dee into his room.”
“You need any help?” Melissa called.
But they were halfway up the stairs. “No,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”
But she wasn’t fine. From the moment she’d first caught sight of the lodge, she thought she might be sick. Didn’t think she would have the strength to climb the steps. Dee had darted ahead of her, obviously remembering the way to his room. By the time she caught up to him in the doorway, he was standing in his corner again, only this time facing out.
“Dog?” he asked, his head turning this way and that.
Amber caught her breath.
He turned around. “Dog?”
She lifted a hand to her mouth, tried to fight back even more damn tears. “No, Dee,” she said softly. “No dog.”
Her nephew continued to search his room. “Maaac,” he called. “Mac!”
A sob broke free. “Oh, Dee.”
“Mac!”
“He’s gone, Dee. They’re both gone.”
And then she was on the floor, without knowing how she’d got there. She couldn’t stop herself from crying. She didn’t want to lose Dee. Didn’t want to lose Colt.
“He’s gone,” she repeated.
“I love you, kiddo.”
Amber looked up. Her mouth dropped open. Dee stood above her, his hand outstretched.
“Dee love you,” he said, his brown eyes full of compassion.
Chapter Twenty
She wouldn’t take his calls. Colt didn’t blame her. If he’d been in her shoes he wouldn’t have taken his calls, either.
He did something he hadn’t done in a long time then. Something he never thought he’d do. He went back to his family’s ranch in Texas. The place where he’d grown up.
The northern part of the state wasn’t the dry desert everyone thought it was. There were areas of green. Valleys and canyons with landlocked lakes. It was beautiful country. Perfect for raising cattle.
He turned down the narrow, two-lane road that led to his parents’ home. That’s what it was—his parents’ place. It had never been his. The two-story ranch house was deserted, as he’d known it would be.
Except for the extreme dust and spiderwebs, it was exactly as he’d left it.
Ten years ago he’d packed up and headed out on the rodeo trail. Occasionally he would come back, when a competition brought him nearby, but for the most part he’d stayed away. It was too painful to return. So he’d lived the life of a hobo, staying this place and that.
He tried calling her one last time, and when that failed, broke down and phoned Logan.
“So you finally decided to call me back?” his old friend asked, but he didn’t sound angry.
“Had a hell of a time tracking you down,” Colt admitted, sitting in one of his mother’s kitchen chairs. They were old, with hollow aluminum legs and vinyl seats. Buttercup-yellow. The whole kitchen was yellow. He didn’t have the heart to change it…not yet. “Last time we talked, you didn’t have a cell phone.”
“How’d you find me?” Logan asked.
“Rodeo crowd.” Colt absently patted Mac’s head.
“Ahh,” Logan said. “Word of mouth.”
Colt swallowed. “Have you seen her?”
There was a pause. “Next week, as a matter of fact,” he said. “Amazingly, she actually called me and set up a time.”
“So you’re going to take him back?”
There was another pause. “I don’t know what I’m going to do just yet.”
And in the words Colt heard sorrow…and regret.
“Why’d you make her out to be a witch?” Colt asked.
“She was,” Logan said. Colt pictured his friend. Dark hair. Dark eyes. So very like Dee. It was remarkable that Dee had so much of both parents in him. Yet again, Colt was shocked he hadn’t put two and two together far sooner than he had. “Or she has been.”
“She isn’t now?” Colt asked, getting up and staring out the kitchen window. Rolling hills stretched as far as the eye could see.
A thousand acres.
It had been a bitch to keep current on the property taxes, but he had. The whole place was his. No mortgage. No liens. Just land. His father’s land, and his father’s father’s before that.
“She’s…different now,” Logan said. “More willing to talk to me about Rudy.”
Rudy. The name Logan would always call his son. Just like Amber would always call the boy Dee. Her pet name.
“How is he?” Colt asked, clutching the counter in front of him.
“Good. No more seizures. She’s thinking it really was diet related.”
“I hear that can happen with autistic children.”
Another pause. “Yeah, I guess he really is autistic, isn’t he? But Amber’s staying on top of things now.”
As she always had.
“Hey, listen,” Colt said. “If you see her, will you give her a message?”
“I don’t know,” Logan said. “I have a feeling mentioning your name to Amber might ruin our new-found friendship.”
But Colt could tell his friend was joking. Whatever had happened to him all those years ago, what ever had caused the drinking, the partying, the carousing, it was over now. Colt had no doubt Logan was ready to take on the duties of fatherhood.
“Tell her I’m sorry,” he said. “And that I wish…I wish things could have been different.”
“I’ll do that,” Logan promised. “You coming out to California again anytime soon?”
“No,” Colt said. “I’m done with rodeo.”
“You sure? I still got my old rope horse out in Morgan’s pasture.”
“No.” Colt glanced out the window once more. “I’m going to try and make a go of it here.”
Logan paused again. “Good for you.”
“And good for you, too. Tell Dee that Mac says hello.”
And that I miss him.
Miss them both.
SHE’D BEEN DREADING the meeting for weeks. But a deal was a deal, Amber thought. She’d promised Logan she’d give him a chance. That he could spend some time with Dee…if for no other reason than to convince him that keeping Dee in an institution was the right thing to do.
She’d chosen a neutral spot—Golden Gate Park, just a little distance from Camp Cowboy. It had dawned a beautiful day. The fog that had plagued the camp for weeks had disappeared. So they’d spent the morning walking to Baker Beach. It had been a bit of a hike, but Amber didn’t
care. It was so green and peaceful. The peninsula was on a slope, and she could see breakers rolling toward shore. The Golden Gate Bridge was off in the distance, its shadow seeming to undulate on the choppy sea. Dee hung back, his eyes firmly on the crashing waves.
Rudy. Dee.
That’s why Colt hadn’t put two and two together. Logan had confessed it all. How he’d sent Colt to find Dee, since she wouldn’t tell him where Dee was. How Colt had begged him not to do it.
Colt hadn’t been lying about that. She didn’t know what to think.
“Hello, Amber.”
She stiffened. She’d been expecting the meeting. She should be nice. This was, after all, Dee’s father.
“Logan,” she said, turning to face him.
He’d aged.
It shocked her, this first glimpse of him. His black hair had gone gray around the edges, though he was barely in his thirties. Usually a little on the long side, it was close-cropped. His eyes were still the same warm brown, but they held the weight of the world.
“I didn’t think you’d come.”
She shrugged, returned to staring at the ocean. Sailboats were zigzagging through the channel. “We made a deal.”
“Rudy?” Logan said gently, far more gently than Amber would have ever thought possible from him.
“He likes the waves,” she found herself saying, even though the last thing she’d told herself to do was try to soften this meeting. Dee’s autism was why Logan had left in the first place. Why her sister had called it quits all those years ago. He couldn’t take living with an autistic child.
“Rudy?” he said again, stepping in front of him.
Amber was stunned. The old Logan would have made some ridiculous comment. Would have claimed, “I can fix him.” Would have argued with her when she explained that Dee’s condition couldn’t be fixed.
This Logan squatted near Dee. “Hey, son.” He didn’t clutch his shoulder. Didn’t force him to turn and look at him.
“It’s me, Rudy…Dee,” Logan corrected. “Dad.” Amber watched as he swallowed. “I’m your dad.”
Rancher and Protector Page 14