Cooper shook his head as he reached into the shower and shut off the water. “San Antonio.”
“Give me a second to change and we’ll go.”
He took Anthony from her. “You don’t have to—”
“Of course I do.” She brushed past him, already lifting the T-shirt over her head. “Go ahead and get him into his car seat. I’ll be right there.”
The trip to the city was a blur.
After hearing Cooper’s description of Anthony’s struggle to breathe, the doctor had recommended they take him directly to Children’s Hospital, twenty miles away. Jeremy had called back during the ride to tell Cooper that he had a good friend, a pediatrician, on staff at the hospital. Dr. Jason Stanhope would meet them at the hospital’s emergency room. Jeremy was also heading in and would meet them there.
Thankfully, the roads were empty, given that it was almost two-thirty in the morning. It killed her to sit next to Anthony and listen to the child struggle for his next breath. She tried to keep him calm as the unbridled fear of the unknown raced through her.
They parked near the entrance and raced inside. A doctor in green scrubs, looking freshly awake, greeted Cooper by name and ushered him and Anthony through a set of large swinging doors.
“Excuse me, miss, are you the baby’s mother?”
Kelsey stopped and looked at the young nurse who was barring her from following Cooper. “No, I’m…I’m not.”
“I’m sorry. It’s family only past this point.” Her smile was kind, but her voice was firm. “You’ll have to wait out here.”
Kelsey watched Cooper stride down the hall, Anthony in his arms as he spoke to the doctor. He never looked back, never noticed that she wasn’t with him.
Shaking off her self-centered concern, she entered the waiting area, but its quietness didn’t help Kelsey’s overactive imagination. She tried to sit, flip through the old magazines but ended up pacing the length of the room while a television turned to a twenty-four-hour news station droned in the background.
Unable to stand the silence and not knowing what was going on, she walked over to the check-in desk. “Excuse me, I came in about twenty minutes ago with a man and baby. Can you tell me anything about how he’s doing?”
“What’s the name?” The nurse asked.
“Fortune. The baby is Anthony Fortune.”
Kelsey noticed the woman’s raised eyebrows in response to Cooper’s family name, a name that carried a lot of weight in this part of the state.
“Are you a family member?”
“No, I’m…I’m a close friend of Cooper Fortune, the baby’s father. He’s back there with his son.”
The nurse, who didn’t look much older than Kelsey, offered an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you anything other than he’s still being checked by the hospital staff.”
She should’ve known that would be the answer. “Can you at least tell me if Dr. Jeremy Fortune has arrived?”
The nurse’s fingers flew again over the keyboard. “Yes, he’s here, but that’s all I can say.”
“Thank you.”
Kelsey moved out of the way for a young couple with a toddler in their arms, and went back to the waiting area. A part of her was glad that Cooper had someone with him. She was surprised Kirsten, Jeremy’s fiancée, hadn’t come with him, but maybe she had? Maybe she was back there with Cooper and the baby. Kirsten wasn’t family yet, but perhaps Jeremy had pulled some strings to get her past the large gray doors.
Running her fingers through her hair, Kelsey stared at those doors, praying Cooper would walk through and tell her what was going on. Tell her that Anthony was going to be okay.
She looked at her cell phone. Forty-five minutes since they’d arrived and still no news. Was that good or bad?
More people of all shapes and sizes and injuries started to fill the waiting room as Kelsey continued to pace along a far wall. It was cool, the air-conditioning a low hum in the background and she tugged the zipper of her sweatshirt up to her neck and crossed her arms, her cell phone clenched in her fist.
She wanted desperately to call Jessica, but she didn’t want to wake her folks or Jessica’s kids, not at four in the morning, especially if she didn’t have her cell phone close by.
She’d never felt so alone in her entire life.
Then an elderly lady with gray curls and a gentle smile approached her. “Excuse me, miss? Are you Kelsey Hunt?” she asked.
Kelsey’s feet stopped and it felt as if her heart did, as well. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She could only nod.
“My name is Mary Macintyre. I’m a volunteer here at the hospital.” She touched the ID badge attached to the light blue blazer she wore. “You came in with Mr. Fortune and his son?”
“Yes.” The word rushed from her lips. “How is he? How’s Anthony?”
“If you will come with me, I’ll take you up to the floor where the patient is being treated. Mr. Fortune is waiting there.”
Kelsey followed the woman to the elevators. “Do you know—?”
“I’m sorry, Miss Hunt. I’m not at liberty to share any information.” The doors slid silently closed and she pressed a button for the sixth floor.
Of course she couldn’t.
Kelsey acknowledged her words with a quick nod, her eyes glued to the digital readout that ticked off each floor as they passed it by. The upward motion caused the knots in her stomach to multiply with each floor. Moments later, they were walking down a dimly lit hallway and then the grandmotherly-looking volunteer stopped outside a doorway.
“This is the waiting area for this floor,” she said.
She’d looked for signs, something to tell her if this was an intensive care unit or a regular inpatient floor, but there was nothing. Where was she? Was Cooper in there?
She pushed open the door, then paused to offer a shaky smile to the woman. “Thank you for…for bringing me here.”
“You’re welcome, dear.”
Kelsey didn’t watch the woman leave. She entered the room, disappointment filling her to find it empty. No Cooper. She moved past the couches and chairs scattered around, drawn to the window that looked out over the bright lights of the city, even at this time of the night.
Kelsey rubbed a hand against her tired eyes, preparing for more waiting. The fact that Anthony was out of the emergency room and in a regular patient’s room couldn’t be good. Were things so bad that he required hospitalization?
If she could just see Cooper, if he would come and tell her everything was going to be all right—
The door opened and she turned.
Cooper.
Relief flooded her veins. Then he moved forward into the soft lighting provided by a few table lamps and the glow of an oversize aquarium. Pain and worry etched every inch of his face.
He stopped and bracketed his hands on his hips, his head falling forward. With his chin tucked close to his chest, defeat and dejection radiated from his entire body.
Did he think she’d left? No, he must’ve been the one who’d sent for her. She stepped away from the window, the need to be near him, to hold him in her arms washed over her.
“I’m here, Cooper.”
His sudden jerky steps backward caused Kelsey to stop before she reached him. She crossed her arms over her chest, then pressed one hand to her mouth for a moment before she forced the question past her dry throat. “How—how is he?”
“They don’t know yet.” He shoved his hand through his hair, turning away. “It could be an infection or something viral. The doctors are running tests.”
An hour at the hospital and they didn’t know what was causing a five-month-old to fight to breathe? “Is your cousin with him?”
Cooper nodded, still not looking at her. “Yeah, Jeremy got here right after we did.”
“Kirsten, too?”
He glanced at her, confusion on his face for a moment. “No, she’s not here. Jeremy said she’s fighting a cold herself, so he ref
used to let her come.”
She dropped her hands, her fingers still clenched around her phone. “So, what have the doctors told you?”
“He’s got a slight fever and he’s dehydrated. Something I should’ve picked up on considering how few bottles he’s finished in the last couple of days, not to mention the dry diapers.” He folded his arms across his chest, his words pouring out in an agonizing whisper. “They had to put an IV in…to give him fluids. In his foot. A ventilator might be needed too, if—if he continues to struggle with his breathing.”
Cooper’s description tore at her heart. Kelsey fought to control the tears that pushed at the outer edges of her eyes. She had to stay calm, to keep it together because she had a feeling the man standing in front of her was inches away from losing control.
“I should’ve known…” He covered his face with his hands, muffling his words. “I should’ve known.”
“Cooper, you can’t blame yourself. When you saw Anthony wasn’t feeling well, you called the clinic.” Unable to stop herself, Kelsey hurried to his side, laying a hand on his arm. “You did all you could tonight—”
He yanked free from her touch. Pushing past her, his quick strides took him across the room and away from her. “I’m not talking about tonight!”
She turned around, the anguish in his tone held her rooted to the spot. “What then?”
“All of it…everything…” He threw his hands wide and faced her, but his eyes were vacant. “I can’t do this! Being responsible, taking care of a child. The right foods, the right toys, the right medicines. Teaching them how to talk, how to eat…how to care, to be responsible, to grow up…”
His jumbled words flew around the room like bullets shot wildly from a gun, shattering the world around her, shattering her heart. “Cooper, you need to calm down—”
“No, what I need to do is what I should’ve done weeks ago. DNA test be damned! I’m the absolute worst person to be taking care of a child.” He slammed a fist to the center of his chest. “Jeremy and Kirsten were amazing with Anthony, Kirsten loves him as if he’s her own child. They should be the ones raising him, keeping him safe…keeping him well.”
She swallowed back the rise of sobs that filled her throat. “You don’t…you don’t mean that.”
“I never should’ve stuck around, never should’ve let myself be distracted by getting involved again with my family, with this town, with you. The doc says this—whatever this sickness is—has probably been building for days. Taking him to the fair was a mistake, going on that picnic was a mistake, being with you was—”
“A mistake?” she cut him off, her words a broken whisper she pushed past her clenched teeth.
“This was wrong, thinking I could have it all.” He crossed to the window and stood in the very spot Kelsey had occupied earlier. “I don’t belong here. I belong out there. The wide open sky over my head and the hard earth beneath my feet. Horses and cattle…that’s what I’m good at, that’s all I’m good at. All I’m good for.”
Kelsey bit off the urge to scream. It was happening again and she was powerless to stop the pain, sharp and jabbing, that came along with the realization that Cooper, while still standing in front of her, was already gone.
So she didn’t even try. She let it wash over her, the current so strong it left nothing in its wake but the wreckage that once was her heart.
Opening her mouth, she spoke with a calmness that came only from the numbness filling her soul. “If you can’t see where you belong, then I feel sorry for you, Cooper Fortune. If you’ve decided to leave, then you should just go.”
Chapter Thirteen
Had he heard her right? Cooper’s head snapped around. Kelsey had told him to leave?
“What did you say?”
“You heard me.”
She wasn’t going to fight him on this. He could see it in her eyes. She wasn’t going to beg him to stay like so many others had done.
All his life he’d walked away, starting with his mother, who’d pleaded with him to stick around after he’d graduated high school. She’d had elaborate plans and promises of making life better for him, for their entire family.
He’d walked away from ranch owners who didn’t want to lose his hard work ethic and long-earned skills, away from friends who’d claimed they’d miss the shared camaraderie, away from women who told him they’d given him their hearts.
Walking away was what he did.
It was what had always worked for him.
No ties, no binds. No pain.
No gut-wrenching ache like he’d experienced the moment the doctor had taken Anthony from his arms, as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest.
He’d stood helpless in that tiny examining room as medical people swarmed over his son, unable to do anything but listen as Anthony’s cries died to faint whimpers because he didn’t have the air in his tiny lungs to make any more noise. And he thought about how he’d failed.
He’d failed in his promise to take care of the child he’d created, the child he’d known less than a month. There’d been nothing he could do for Anthony except sign the paperwork that had allowed the medical staff to poke and prod and test, whatever it took to save his son’s life.
What a fool he’d been to think that caring for a baby was easy, fun…doable. Especially for a guy like him.
“You don’t—” Unable to hold Kelsey’s gaze any longer, Cooper looked past her to the waiting room door.
Ten steps, twelve at the most, and he was out of here.
An hour and he’d be gone from Red Rock. A day would have him out of the State of Texas altogether. “You can’t even begin to understand.”
“I don’t have to. You’ve made your decision.” Kelsey’s voice was cool, her words sharp as they cut deep into his skin, digging for bone as she backed toward the door. “And if you’re going to do what you’ve always been good at—”
Her voice cracked, but she lifted her chin and tossed her long ponytail over one shoulder. “Don’t expect me to stand here and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life. I’ll contact Jeremy in a few days to check up on Anthony. Goodbye, Cooper.”
She spun and vanished out the door.
Cooper closed his eyes, trying to ignore the bright, white flash that exploded so deep in his soul, it disseminated to the farthest corners of his being. He ceased to exist, despite his body still functioning. He accepted that the man he knew, the man he was, no longer mattered.
Kelsey didn’t love him.
She’d walked away.
Stumbling to the door, he forced his eyes to open and his feet to carry him to the elevator. As soon as it opened, he fell inside, slammed the button for the ground floor and waited until he was finally able to walk out the glass doors and into the inky blackness of the night.
He was doing the right thing.
For him, for Anthony…for everyone.
Seconds later, he gunned his truck’s engine and tore out of the parking lot as if all the demons of hell were on his tail. Looking into the rearview mirror, he watched the hospital, and his life, fade into the distance.
“Kelsey?”
She heard her name being called, a soft whisper that carried through the mechanical beeps and whirls that filled the air. She couldn’t turn around, couldn’t look away from the little boy resting peacefully on the bed in front of her.
“Kels?”
Warm fingers touched hers. She looked down and found a familiar hand. She turned and fell into her sister’s arms. Tears burned as they filled her eyes and spilled over to her cheeks. Jessica held her tightly, rocking back and forth, caressing her back.
She tried to pull herself together, but the warmth and protection of her sister’s arms made it so easy to let the devastation bubble forth and pour from her. “He’s gone, Jess. Cooper’s gone. He couldn’t handle the pain, his own or Anthony’s. This poor little baby is fighting—something—and his father isn’t by his side like he should be.”
Her
breathing shuddered as she fought to put her jumbled emotions into words. “He said he can’t be a father, but he’s wrong, he’s a great father! I’ve been waiting…so sure he’d turn around and come back…to his son. To me. He can’t just walk away. He can’t.”
“Shh, it’s okay, sweetie.” Her sister led her to the small couch at the far side of the room. “Come on, let’s sit for a minute.”
Surprised that she was still on her feet, Kelsey followed Jessica’s lead. Dropping to the soft cushions, she laid her head against her sister’s shoulder. “How did you know I was here?”
“Dr. Fortune called me.”
Of course he did.
After she’d walked out on Cooper, left him standing alone in the waiting room before he could leave her, she’d found the ladies’ room just down the hall. When she’d emerged, she’d run straight into Jeremy.
He’d quickly reassured her that while they were still waiting on test results, Anthony was in stable condition. Jeremy then asked where Cooper was, saying he wasn’t in the waiting room, and she’d answered him honestly—she didn’t know. His reaction was difficult to read, but he remained silent as he took her to Anthony’s room, promising her it was okay to be there.
She didn’t know how much time had passed. Her focus had been solely on the little boy as he slept—without a ventilator, thank goodness, but still hooked up with tubing and wires to the equipment and monitors surrounding the child-size bed.
She lifted her gaze and looked out the window. The city skyline was still dark. “What time is it?”
“A little after five. I came as soon as I could.” Jessica gave her a quick squeeze. “I would’ve been here sooner if you’d called me.”
Kelsey sniffed. “I know. Everything just happened so fast.”
Another sniffle and her sister stuck a box of tissues under her nose. Kelsey grabbed a handful. She pushed herself to her feet and moved away, needing a moment to pull herself together. The last thing she wanted was for her crying to wake Anthony.
She dried her eyes, blew her nose and tossed the tissues in the trash. Pulling in a deep breath, she turned around. With her hands clasped together, fingertips pressed to her chin like she was praying, she looked into her sister’s compassionate eyes.
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