by Caryl McAdoo
When had it happened? Maybe last night when Asa put him on the ground? Or before? But all of a sudden, DeWayne Carter’s name sang no siren’s song to her heart. Once, just catching a glimpse of the rogue would cause her heart to flip then bleed for the very man so wrong for her.
She did a rewind and scrutinized the altercation on the parking lot. The sound of his voice had cut her anew, but then, once Asa let him up, she had no desire to run after him, make sure he wasn’t hurt. That was it. Had to be. Asa put him down in more ways than one. That’s when it happened.
“In high school…” She shook her head. She didn’t need to go there, not now. She looked around. No one seemed to be paying attention, but better than half the crowd knew her, and probably most knew of him. Maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea. She could hear it now. Have you heard the latest? Then she might as well get used to it, if things worked out.
New Hope’s new preacher is dating that Johnson girl, you know the rodeo queen. She pushed the hushed whispers of the local gossips out of her mind’s ear.
“What about it?”
“Oh, I’ll tell you later. First Sunday in December, huh? Didn’t know that when I made our deal. So if the vote goes against you, then what?”
“It won’t.”
She begged to differ. It could. For future plans’ sake, a discussion seemed in order, but the food came. Her tummy insisted her mouth take care of the more important business at hand, and she loved her Chicken Murphy, so she followed Asa’s lead and dug in. Initial pangs satisfied, she brought it back up. “So how can you say that?”
He finished chewing, always the gentleman. “Say what?”
“That it absolutely wouldn’t happen?” He still wore confusion, but it looked cute on him. “The vote? How is it you’re so sure the deacons won’t go against you?”
He wiped his mouth. “Did you read the bulletin?”
“Yes, I saw it. Why?”
“Notice last week’s offering report?”
“What about it?”
“Fifth week in a row it’s been up. Been collecting more every week, and today was the biggest crowd yet.”
“That’s good. You been hitting them hard on tithing?”
“No, ma’am, haven’t mentioned it once. I do pray a lot about it. A professor I had at DBU said the number of folks attending was a good indicator of a congregation’s health, but that the money’s the real key.”
“So why haven’t you mentioned tithing?”
“Jesus talked more about demons than filthy lucre, and I haven’t even gotten around to teaching on demons yet. How can I bring up money?”
Demons, huh? Little evil spirits scampering around wreaking havoc everywhere? Baptists didn’t talk about them, not like some other churches like Abundant Life Assembly or the Church of God. Could her preacher man be a closet holy roller? But then she shouldn’t judge him. Maybe he just used that as an example.
During the rest of the meal, she mulled over that supposition, the man himself, and the rash promise she made to her daddy—and now Asa, too.
Why had she let Auntie make her shake on it? And why’d she just say a month? Why not a year? But she knew that answer. The last few days, she’d been able to think about more than her daddy dying right before her eyes. She hated the word terminal, the hopelessness of the whole situation, the prospect of being an orphan herself.
Did she harbor some deep-seated need for a man to watch over her? Maybe so, but even if, seemed Asa needed her more than she needed him. Still…
“You ready?”
She pulled herself to the now. “Almost. You eat fast. I’ll need a to-go box if you can catch our waitress. I always get two meals out of a dinner here.”
Pushing her leftovers into the styrofoam container, she couldn’t help but see. Not good, him leaving so much tip. One thing if you could afford it, but his easy-come, easy-go attitude could really be a problem. She grinned at herself. Or could just be the tightwad coming out in her. Daddy was a big tipper, too.
Aha! That might be it. She’d recognized the similarity between the two men.
He held the door for her then slipped his hand into hers. “Any of those shops open?” He nodded across the square.
“I don’t think so. Hardly anyone’s open on Sunday except the restaurants.”
“You like antiques?”
“I do; they don’t make stuff now like they used to. Plus, auntie has a point.”
Chuckling, he took her hand and walked her right past his Corolla. “What’s your Auntie say?”
“She says you can buy a hundred-year-old table, enjoy it twenty years, and get more than you paid for it back when. Go buy a new one, and in twenty years, you can’t get back half its original price.” She swung his hand. “Where we going?”
“Oh, just thought we’d take a stroll around the square.” She loved it. “And your aunt’s so right about antiques. How do you want to spend the afternoon? Plenty of time before church.”
“We could go on back to the church after our stroll, work on your budget.”
Once he got on the highway and the cruise control set, he threw her a curve. “What did you tell Miss Iris?”
Her heart went to thumping. She shook her head. Bless God, she only thought he hadn’t figured it out or at least wasn’t going to say anything. Her cheeks warmed. “You better start calling her Aunt Iris, almost everyone in Red River County does. And I guarantee you she’s going to say something.”
Thank You Lord. Thank You Lord. What had she come up with? She couldn’t remember. What? What could she say without telling a lie? She blew out all her breath.
“I’d like that actually. So what’d you tell her?”
“Well, of course, she was waiting up, hammered me for every last detail. I mentioned what a great dancer you were, uh, talked a little about the DeWayne exchange. What did I say exactly?” She faced him. “Look, she brought up how expensive it was for a young man to take a girl out these days. She probably just didn’t think you should have to foot the whole bill. Or something anyway.”
“But you told her my card declined and that I was out of money.”
“I’m sorry. It was late. And maybe it’s because you’re so much like Daddy. Forgive me?”
He laughed. “Of course, but you do know loose lips sink ships.”
“Oh dear Lord, you talk like him, too. But you’re right; I had no business… None at all. At least you didn’t bounce a check.”
“That would have been a bad thing. So it’s later now. What about high school?”
Man, he remembered every little thing. Nothing got by him. Oh well, what did she have to lose? Wasn’t like the whole affair wasn’t common local knowledge. He might as well know in case... Well, if it did work out… Bless God, this was all so weird. “Okay. The new guy in high school, Burk Hamilton, moved here in the tenth grade. We got together pretty quick after that, went steady with him for seventeen months, then… Well, I was team roping, and Burk was not a cowboy.”
“With DeWayne?”
“Yeah, the reason I dumped him was DeWayne.”
“Oh.” How could he make one little word sound so pathetic? “I thought you broke up with him in the seventh and ninth grade?”
What? Had he memorized her love life? “Yes, that’s right, and we never really got back together after that. Burk, he just never got into rodeo. DeWayne and I had been team roping since junior high, off and on. I was like his backup, because back then, I pretty much went to all of the rodeos, running the barrels. Burk didn’t like it—the whole scene.”
“Maybe he was jealous.”
“Probably. I still carried a torch for DeWayne, though I didn’t want to and tried to hide it. That’s what I was talking about when I said you could say I used the poor guy. I mean, I’m not proud of it or anything.”
“Hey, we all have made some poor choices.”
“Anyway, Burk started this huge fight at a big rodeo in New Boston. That night, I’d decided to g
ive DeWayne another chance. I took his jacket that night. Then a couple of rodeos later, I found him and an unmentioned freshman of loose morals in his stock trailer.”
“Why’d you break up with him before? In the seventh and ninth, I mean.”
“He kept putting his hands where they didn’t belong.”
“Are you still in love with him?”
“No, I’m not. Couldn’t have truthfully said that a week ago, but last night you took care of whatever stupid attraction I had for the idiot. At The Bistro just now, I was thinking on that exact thing. Before, whenever I’d see him or hear a song that reminded me of him, it’d set me off, you know, get me to thinking about him, missing him I guess. But the other night, you putting him down, it changed everything. It really did. I feel different. It’s hard to explain.”
Asa fell silent and seemed to be mulling it all over.
Surely he believed her. It really was over with DeWayne. She knew it in her heart. Once he reached the church and turned the motor off, he shifted in his seat and stared at her without saying anything.
“What are you thinking?”
His mouth turned down. Fear singed his eyes. “I’ve been praying about this, and please forgive me. I lied to you, Faith.”
NINE
Asa waited, but she didn’t react. He thought for sure she’d get mad, yet she only looked at him with disbelief splashed across her face like a cold water challenge.
“You called it the first day. Asked me straight out if marrying you was a career move, but I couldn’t own up. I didn’t want to think it was true. But I’ve been convicted, and realize the truth is, my career had moved toward the top of the reasons-to-get-married list. After I lost that third church, well… I was beginning to think –”
“Oh, Asa, I understand.”
“Can you please forgive me, Faith? I lied, and after I made such a big deal about being a guardian of the Truth.”
She shrugged. “Of course, nobody’s perfect. I’m a flap mouth, and you’re a liar. We’re a matched pair.”
“No, don’t say that. True, we all sin and fall short of God’s glory, but that isn’t who we are. We’re still children of the King. The only good thing about not being perfect is we can repent and be forgiven. The Holy Spirit convicted me about not being totally honest. I want to pastor New Hope so much, too much, almost to a point of covetousness.”
“That’s understandable.”
“Even though I know better? I pray every day that His will be done, not mine. Thing is, these last few days, I’ve come to realize that I desire you more than New Hope, more than any church, more than anything or anyone besides God.” He took her hand in his. “Faith, I’m telling you true. I can’t let anything come between us. I won’t.”
She shot him a pucker twisted sideways. “It’s really good to know you’re not perfect. Seemed like maybe you were.”
“Far from it. I try, but no—lust of the flesh, pride of life, and lust of the eye. I’m guilty of all three on a pretty regular basis. I do have a secret weapon though.”
“Oh really? What’s that?”
“Prayer. I pray a lot. God says if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us, and He remembers them no more.”
Had he lost her? Who was he kidding? He never had her. In the beginning, she seemed like a means to an end, a step up to everything he wanted in life, the pulpit, a wife. Now…
Lord, You promised to give me the desires of my heart.
Faith closed her eyes. So much for a storybook romance, but at least he fessed up. She believed he didn’t even realize at the time that it was a lie, yet couldn’t decide how she felt about it. Wasn’t like a big lie or one that meant a lot. Oh, she was disappointed, yeah, but ulterior motives just didn’t seem like a matter even worth lying over.
A whole lot of things were way more important. “Anything else you lied about? Have there been any women?”
“No, ma’am. You are the only human being I’ve ever even kissed. There’s been no one else. Until you, my life’s been pretty tame.”
So he’d been truthful about that. She studied the front of the church building and tried to understand how important the pastorate must be to him. Ministering the gospel was the goal he’d been working toward a long time. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would you want me over being New Hope’s pastor? Just because I’ve kissed you a couple of times?”
“Three to be exact, but that’s just the whipped cream. I’ve never enjoyed being with anyone as much as you. Churches? They can come and go, depending on where God sends me. I’ll go wherever He wants me to, but the Bible says when a man finds a wife, he’s found a good thing. She’s ’til death do us part. The best thing about my coming to New Hope is clearly you.”
“How can you say that?”
Looking out his window toward a pasture of grazing cows, he seemed to be weighing his answer, then turned back. “Scripture instructs husbands to love their wives. That tells me it’s within my ability to love whomever, and I choose you. I love you, Faith.”
“No, Asa, you can’t say that. We hardly know each other. What’s it been? Four days?”
“Time doesn’t matter. I’m confident Adam loved Eve from the instant God put her into his arms.”
That was a weird way to say that, not presented her, but put her in his arms. She smiled; he went back to them a lot.
“And Jacob, I believe he loved Rachel from the start. Even if a month passed by before scripture reported his love. Why do you think he kissed her at the well?”
“Forget Jacob, we’ve beat that horse already. Let’s get back to the first couple.”
“Adam and Eve? What about them?”
“God putting Eve in Adam’s arms. What’s that all about?”
He grinned. “Oh, just a personal theory. I believe Adam was fifteen when God extracted a rib. And that He created Eve a baby—like He had Adam—when He gave her to him.”
“What? No way. It says God made a man, full grown, and he made Eve a few days later; a woman is full grown. It doesn’t say He made a girl.”
“But why do you think that?”
“Hey, what’s his name painted it on the Sistine Chapel, God reaching out and touching Adam’s fingers. Everyone knows that’s how it was.”
“Genesis says God made himself a man. I believe when the scripture says He made a man, it’s talking about the species of man. How’d He do that?”
“I don’t know, got Himself some dirt and went to fashioning it into His image.”
“But to make a man, you start with a boy. Before growing into a boy, males are babies. The second Adam—Jesus—came as a baby. How could Adam be a father to children, if he hadn’t been a child first?”
She shook her head. She’d seen the pictures in Sunday School quarterlies since forever; Adam and Eve in the garden, strategically standing behind trees or bushes to hide their nakedness. But, she couldn’t deny his theory had merit if you thought about it. How he could he think of such a thing? It eluded her. “Why fifteen?”
“Joseph, Saul, David, and Solomon, they were all thirty when they began to rule, and all of them were precursors of Christ, pictures of Jesus. Let’s say everything went fine for the first fifteen years of Eve’s life, but with puberty the desire came for something Adam wasn’t ready to give her. Think about it, here’s a man that had free will, but walked with God every evening.”
“She wanted a baby?”
“Yes, ma’am, and the devil knew it. He tempted her with knowledge. If only she knew what God knew, she’d be like Him.”
“So you think Adam was thirty and Eve fifteen when they sinned?”
“Makes sense to me, and also explains why he loved her so deeply. When he saw what she’d done, he couldn’t stand to live without her. He loved her so completely, like a father, a big brother, his best friend, and I’m sure he anticipated being one with her. But there she was, naked and dead to him. He didn’t trust God to bri
ng her back to life.
“Hasn’t it ever bothered you that he’d eat the forbidden fruit? What his motivation could be, a man who walked every day with God? The word says Eve was deceived, but Adam knew what he was doing. I believe in a way, he committed suicide to be with her. Couldn’t live without her.”
Wow, she needed to think about all of that. “I hadn’t ever really thought about it before, not as an adult anyway. Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden was just another fun story children hear in Sunday School.”
“It explained a lot for me, but I don’t hang my theology on it, just like my eschatology. I’m post tribulation if you’re wondering. Neither affects salvation.”
Not exactly sure what all that meant, she chalked it up to not having gone to seminary. “Let’s get back to original sin: Adam made it to thirty?”
“Sure, he only had one rule, obedience came easy. On the other hand, God put over six hundred laws on Jesus, who chose obedience. At any time, He could have said forget them, Father, but He didn’t. He gave his life for us, endured the cross to redeem us.”
Blowing out a deep breath cleansed her of all doubt and confusion. The cross and its redemption, she understood and believed. Bless God for Jesus. But what she needed to know now was whether or not the Lord arranged this thing, whatever it was, with Asa. “If you can turn love on that easy, can’t you turn it off just the same?”
“No way. What God joins together, I will not allow any man to put asunder.”
“So no divorce, no way?”
“With me, it’s until death do us part.”
“How can you say that? I know of…” She counted on her fingers. “Three local pastors here in Red River County who’ve been divorced.” She shook her head. “These days, if young people even take the time to get married, it’s like on a trial basis. Starter marriages, like starter homes. It’s the first one to get you going, but you’re planning on moving on from the start to something bigger and better. They say, ‘I do’, but they only mean I do for a few years.”
“How long you been saved, Faith?”