‘I think so.’ If she had been a young man she would probably have done just the same, but it didn’t stop the hurt from throbbing through her. ‘I don’t know how Ruth’s going to feel about it though.’
‘Ruth?’ He stared at her through the gloom.
‘Oh come on, Ernie. You must know that Ruth is nuts about you?’
‘Is she really?’
Men could be really dim sometimes, thought Briony; how he could have failed to notice was anyone’s guess. Ruth Teagles was Briony’s closest friend and she had worshipped the ground that Ernie trod on for as long as Briony could remember, which was why she herself had held back. She sighed into the darkness now, wondering why everything had to become so complicated when you grew up. Not so very long ago they had all been at school together with not a care in the world – and now here was Ernie going off to fight for his King and Country.
A thick frost was forming on the deserted pavements, making them sparkle like diamonds, and as he felt a shudder ripple through Briony, Ernie drew her arm through his and said, ‘Come on, that’s blown a few cobwebs away. Let’s get back an’ see if me mam is in a better frame of mind, eh? I might even make yer a brew. Might as well make the most o’ the time we’ve got left. I shall be off to start me trainin’ in a couple o’ weeks’ time. Did I tell yer it were the RAF I’ve joined? I’m goin’ to train to be a pilot. Just as well I got good marks at school, ain’t it?’
Briony shivered again, but this time it was nothing to do with the cold. It was the thought of Ernie flying a plane that made fear pulse through her veins. No wonder Mrs Brindley was so upset. It was bad enough knowing that your loved ones were joining the Army, but everyone knew that the RAF pilots stood a chance of being blown out of the sky by enemy planes every time they took off. For some reason she had assumed that he had enlisted for the Army, as his father had. Briony was suddenly glad of the darkness that hid the tears that had sprung to her eyes. This was turning out to be one of the worst days of her life, what with her father leaving and now finding out that Ernie would shortly be going too. Suddenly she just wished that it could be over.
*
Ruth was waiting for her at the bottom of Church Road the next morning when Briony set off for work and they began the walk into town together as they normally did.
‘Did yer dad get off all right?’ the other girl asked conversationally.
Briony nodded miserably. ‘Yes, but Mum’s hardly stopped crying since he left.’
‘Well, I think we expected that, didn’t we?’ Ruth plunged her hands deep into her coat pockets and shuddered. ‘I ain’t never known a pair like your mam an’ dad. They’re like a couple o’ love birds. Not like mine.’ She explained: ‘Me dad were in the pub again last night after he finished his shift down the pit, an’ me mam went fer him wi’ the big umbrella when he finally came in.’
She chuckled as she slid her arm through her friend’s. The two girls had gone all through school together, and although they were as close as could be, they were as different to look at as chalk from cheese. Ruth was short and dumpy, with wild mousy hair that tended to curl, and pale-blue eyes, whilst Briony was slim with straight hair that shone as black as a raven’s wing. Ruth had always been envious of Briony’s looks, not that it had affected their friendship. Briony often thought Ruth didn’t have a nasty streak in her whole body and she wasn’t far wrong. Ruth had a heart of pure gold and would have done anything for anyone, and Briony wondered how she was going to break it to her that Ernie was joining the RAF. Ruth had never made a secret of the fact that she adored Ernie and when they were younger she had followed him about like a puppy, which had complicated things when Briony suddenly realised that she had feelings for Ernie too.
They were almost at the top of Haunchwood Road when Briony plucked up the courage to say bluntly, ‘I heard that Ernie had enlisted too last night.’ There didn’t seem to be any easy way to say it so she decided to just get it over and done with.
Ruth stopped walking, and the ready smile she normally wore slid from her face as she asked hoarsely, ‘You are kiddin’, ain’t yer?’
She looked so distraught that Briony felt a pang of guilt stab through her as she shook her head.
‘Bloody hell!’ The colour had drained out of Ruth’s plump cheeks and Briony hugged her.
‘I dare say he would have done it after his birthday anyway,’ she said consolingly. ‘He’s just brought things forward a bit, that’s all. But try not to worry; I’m sure he’ll be fine. Before he left, my dad reckoned this war would be over before we knew it.’
Ruth swallowed deeply and nodded. ‘Yes . . . course it will be,’ she said, trying to be optimistic. Then: ‘So when is he goin’?’
‘In a couple of weeks, from what I could gather, but he’ll have to complete his training before they send him off anywhere.’
They walked on into Tomkinson Road through the thick freezing fog, and for the rest of the way Ruth was very quiet.
The day passed slowly. In the accounts department, Briony was kept busy preparing everyone’s wage packets and Ruth was almost rushed off her feet down on the shop floor. On the way home after work, Briony called into the corner shop in Cross Street and bought some vegetables before going on to the butcher’s in Church Road, where she purchased some lamb chops. She doubted her mother would have bothered to cook for the children and had resigned herself to going home and cooking them a meal herself. The fog had lifted late that morning and now the frost was beginning to sparkle on the pavements again as she hurried through Stockingford. Everyone had closed the blackout curtains against the freezing night and Briony felt as if she were walking through a ghost town. Even the lamp-posts were no longer turned on now, and the odd car that crawled through the streets had its headlights dimmed. Ruth’s mood hadn’t lightened as the day progressed and now Briony just wished that this day could be over. It would be the first evening without her father’s fond smile to welcome her after a long day at work, and she wasn’t looking forward to it at all. Her spirits plunged even deeper once she stepped into their small terraced home to see Lois curled up in the chair at the side of a low fire still in her dressing gown. She clearly hadn’t bothered to get dressed all day and her eyes were dull and swollen from weeping.
Sarah ran to meet her with a look of relief on her small face, saying, ‘Mam hasn’t stopped crying all day, Briony, but I got some coal in – look.’
‘Good girl.’ Briony stroked her sister’s hair affectionately before she took her coat off and hung it on a nail at the back of the door. ‘And have you and Alfie had any dinner?’
Sarah solemnly shook her head. ‘Not yet, but I waited for Alfie after school and brought him home like you asked and I gave him some milk and a biscuit.’
‘Then we’ll have a nice warm cuppa, eh? And then I’ll get the dinner started. While I’m doing that, you could help Alfie get into his pyjamas for me. I’ll give him his wash later.’
Her brother was lying on his stomach looking at the pictures in his comic but he went willingly enough, and once the children were out of the way, Briony fixed a smile on her face and said brightly, ‘I’m going to put the kettle on now, Mam. I’ve bought us some nice lamb chops for tea as a treat. We may as well enjoy them while we can. Once this rationing that they keep on about comes into force it might not be so easy to get hold of some things – and even when we can, we’ll be limited in how much we can have.’
‘I’m not hungry,’ Lois said dully, and Briony felt a little stab of anger. Didn’t her mother realise that they were all missing her father just as much as she was? Even so she kept her voice level as she turned to fill the kettle at the sink.
‘Well, I still want you to eat something,’ she answered firmly. ‘You’ll be no use to Sarah and Alfie if you get ill, will you?’
Receiving a sniffle as an answer she sighed inwardly and began to prepare the teapot and the mugs before starting on the vegetables. It looked set to be a very long evening.
By the end of the week, Briony was exhausted. Each day she would go off to work then each evening she would come home and see to the children and cook them all a meal. Then when that was done, she would tackle the washing and ironing whilst her mother sat curled in her chair, a mere shadow of her former self, locked in self-pity. Lois had always relied heavily on her handsome husband, and now that he was gone she didn’t seem to be able to cope with anything.
It was Mrs Brindley who brought it all to a head one evening when she appeared at the kitchen door clutching a chipped cup.
Briony was up to her eyes in ironing the children’s school clothes and she looked up as the woman entered the room.
‘’Ello, luvvie.’ Mrs Brindley was dressed in her customary wrap-around flowered pinny. ‘Yer couldn’t lend me a bit o’ sugar till in the mornin’, could yer? I don’t fancy goin’ up the corner shop in this cold.’ Then as her eyes settled on Lois she abruptly stopped talking and said, ‘So what’s this then? Why is young Briony doin’ the ironin’ when she’s bin to work all day, Lois? Are you ill?’
‘She’s missing my dad,’ Briony explained as her mother broke into a fresh torrent of weeping. Martha Brindley seemed to bristle before her very eyes.
‘Is that so? Well, I’m missin’ my Clal an’ all, but it won’t do no good to sit about weepin’, will it? Then young Ernie will be off an’ all soon, an’ I’ll be all on me own, not like you, Lois, who still have yer family about yer. Stop feelin’ so bloody sorry fer yerself, woman, an’ get up off yer arse, fer Christ’s sake. You ain’t bein’ a bit fair on yer kids, especially young Briony ’ere.’
Lois was so shocked at being spoken to in such a manner that she stopped crying and stared at the older woman open-mouthed.
‘That’s better.’ Mrs Brindley nodded approvingly. ‘Now get yerself over to that sink an’ wash yer face then go an’ get yerself dressed, ’cos I’m tellin’ yer now, I ain’t goin’ nowhere till yer do. Then when you’ve done that, yer can make us all a nice cup o’ tea an’ make yerself useful. Meantime I’ll sit an’ have a chat to young Briony ’ere.’ And with that she plonked herself down in the chair opposite Lois and glowered at her until the woman stood up and hurried off to do as she was told.
Once Lois had washed her face and gone upstairs to get dressed, Briony smiled at Mrs Brindley gratefully.
‘Thanks for that,’ she said. ‘I was beginning to get really worried about her, wondering if she was ever going to get out of that chair.’
‘Hmm, trouble with yer mam is she’s been spoiled,’ Mrs Brindley said matter-of-factly. ‘I reckon she had yer dad eatin’ out o’ the palm of her hand, waitin’ on her hand an’ foot. But he ain’t here now so she’s goin’ to have to join the real world like the rest of us. Not that I don’t like yer mam,’ she added hurriedly, seeing Briony’s face fall. ‘It’s obvious that she were brought up different to the likes of us.’ She chuckled then. ‘She’s made many a head turn round ’ere, I don’t mind tellin’ yer, what wi’ her lipstick an’ her powder an’ never a hair out o’ place, but I reckon the majority o’ the women are just jealous of her ’cos she’s so attractive. Trouble is, yer dad’s gone fer now, so she’s goin’ to have to pull her socks up an’ look after them little ’uns – if they don’t get evacuated, that is. Between you an’ me I don’t understand how she’s managed to avoid it fer so long. But it certainly ain’t right that you should have to come home an’ do all this just ’cos you were the firstborn. You’re still not much more than a slip of a kid yerself, even if yer have left school an’ got yerself a job.’
She heaved herself out of the chair then and placed the kettle on the hob to boil. Soon afterwards, Lois reappeared dressed and looking slightly better than she had before.
‘I didn’t mean to bully yer, Lois,’ Mrs Brindley apologised as Lois spooned tea leaves into the teapot. ‘But sometimes, as me old mam allus used to say, yer have to be cruel to be kind. Now let’s have that cup o’ tea, shall we?’
Briony stared at her mother. Lois’s eyes were still red and swollen, but at least she had stopped crying – which was a step in the right direction.
‘Our Ernie’ll be off next week,’ Mrs Brindley glumly reminded them then, and Briony’s heart missed a beat. It seemed that everyone she cared about was leaving – and there wasn’t a single thing she could do about it.
Chapter Two
Much to Briony’s surprise, soon after Mrs Brindley left that evening, Lois dragged in the tin bath that hung on a nail in the yard outside and began to heat up pans of water.
‘I dare say I have let myself go a little,’ she admitted reluctantly. ‘And I’m sorry if I’ve put on you, darling. I know how hard you work, rushing about that office all day, and it’s not fair that you’ve been coming home and having to see to all of us. But I will try harder in future, I promise. I’ll make a start right now by washing my hair and having a bath. I shall be starting work at the shop on Monday and I don’t suppose I can go in looking like this, can I?’
Briony’s spirits lifted. ‘I’ll help you shampoo your hair,’ she volunteered, flashing her mother a warm smile.
They filled the bath together and once Lois was soaking in the hot water and Briony had washed her hair for her, she sat down in the chair at the side of the fire, glad of a chance to rest her feet, which were throbbing nicely now. It was a ritual they usually went through together on a Sunday evening, and Briony welcomed the feeling of things returning to some sort of normality.
After a while her mother glanced at her before saying quietly, ‘I’ve got a feeling Mrs Brindley might have been right – about the children, I mean. I fear I won’t be able to keep them here much longer. It said on the radio earlier today that Hitler is just waiting for the spring before he begins to bomb England. If that’s true, it won’t be safe for the kids to be here any more – but how will we bear it if they are sent away?’
Just the thought of Sarah and Alfie being whisked away to some unknown place filled Briony with dread, but not wishing to upset her mother again she answered sensibly, ‘Well, from what I can gather from some of the ladies at work whose children have already been evacuated, they’re doing fine. I suppose we won’t have any choice in the matter. There isn’t any other alternative, is there?’
‘Actually . . . there is,’ her mother said cautiously.
Briony blinked in surprise. ‘Oh, and what’s that then?’
Lois seemed to hesitate before saying, ‘They could go and live with their grandparents in Cornwall until the war is over. I had a letter from my father today and he told me that you would all be welcome there.’
Briony’s eyes almost popped out of her head. She hadn’t even known that her mother’s parents were still alive – so the information had come as a complete shock to her.
Lois sighed resignedly and, grabbing the towel that Briony had put ready for her, she hauled herself out of the tin bath while her daughter averted her eyes. After drying herself, Lois slipped on her dressing gown and sat down opposite her, a towel round her shoulders while her wet hair dried in the warmth from the fire.
‘You are old enough to know the truth now,’ Lois told the girl, and her eyes grew dreamy as her mind slipped back in time. ‘I had a very privileged upbringing,’ she began. ‘My father has his own business – he’s an undertaker in a town called Penzance – and I went to the finest schools and had the best clothes that money could buy. I’m afraid that Daddy always rather spoiled me. He’s a wonderful, kind man but my mother . . .’ She frowned. ‘Well, Mother always made it crystal clear that my brother Sebastian was her favourite.’ She smiled apologetically then as Briony looked taken aback, admitting, ‘Yes, you have an uncle too. Our mother is a very strict woman and highly religious. We lived in a beautiful house with a cook and a maid. Obviously my parents both wanted the best for me and they expected me to make a good marriage – but then I met your father and needless to say, they weren’t happy about me associating with him. They said he was a drifte
r and that he would never amount to anything, but the thing was, I loved him and I wouldn’t listen.
Lois stood up and paced restlessly. She lit a cigarette and went on, ‘Anyway, the long and the short of it is, eventually I became pregnant with you, and when they found out, Mother told me that I was to leave and never darken their door again. Your father and I ran away together in the dead of night with barely a penny between us, and eventually we ended up back here, in a part of the world he knew, and I had you. And I’ll tell you something, Briony; I’ve never regretted it for a single second. Your father is a wonderful man, as you know, and although we have never been rich materially, I’ve been rich in other ways and I consider myself to be a very fortunate woman. It broke my heart to leave my father, and recently I wrote to him and asked him to help me. I knew it would be no good writing to Mother. I explained that I now had three beautiful children and that I didn’t want them to be sent to live with strangers, and he wrote back and said that of course you could all go there until the war was over.’
‘But I’m too old to be sent away,’ Briony objected. ‘I’m almost seventeen and I’m working now.’
‘I know, but you wouldn’t want the younger ones to go alone, would you?’ her mother answered cajolingly. ‘At least if you were with them I’d know that my mother couldn’t bully them. I won’t be able to keep them here much longer. Most of the children hereabouts have already been evacuated and the school is working on a skeleton staff. Almost all the male teachers have joined up.’
Briony’s mind was reeling as she tried to take it all in. It was a shock to discover that she had grandparents and an uncle that she had never known existed – let alone that she might now be expected to go and live with them. She had supposed that her grandparents were dead.
Soldier's Daughter, The Page 2