Keeping Secrets

by Lisa Eugene

  “Yeah, I’m a little cramped,” I admitted, hating the breathiness of my voice. “I think we should get out now.”

  “I agree,” Dex added quickly, and I wondered if he, too, had grown uncomfortable with our crowded positions.

  We shot out of the vehicle like someone had pressed an eject button. When Dex and Henry stumbled out, I saw something pass between them. I didn’t quite catch it as I was trying to compose myself and readjust my skewed glasses, but I wondered if Dex had scolded Henry for the comment he’d made. Henry, though, seemed cheerfully unperturbed as we made our way to the next vehicle.

  It was late afternoon before I realized that I’d stayed almost two hours longer than I’d intended. The study session was to be at my house this evening and I needed to get home. Despite my protests, Dex insisted on driving me back, and always the gentleman, walked me into my building.

  I walked beside him, unusually content. His presence had become familiar, his mannerisms predictable. I noticed the way he ran his fingers through his hair when he was thoughtful or exasperated. It was fascinating when his eyes smoked, then seem to catch fire with amusement just before he’d teased me. Even his protective touch to my elbow or the small of my back secured my interest.

  Growing up, I’d never had many friends. I was an only child, used to being alone. My parents usually shied away from connecting with others and I think I inherited that gene. I’d gone on a couple of dates in college, but nothing to write home about. My parents never approved of me dating, and I’d learned to focus my energies on studying.

  The last time I’d had sex was with a transfer student I’d dated for a few months. That had been two years ago. I’d grown used to my nonexistent sex life, preferring to sweep away the cobwebs and take matters into my own hands when the urge struck.

  “You sure you don’t want to come to dinner with Tom, Henry, and me?” Dex asked as we approached the elevator in my building.

  I shook my head, my ponytail slapping my neck. “You are a bad influence on me.” I turned and poked a finger into his solid chest.

  The dimple flashed in his cheek, giving him a boyish look. “I was certainly hoping to be.”

  He leaned a shoulder against the wall, looking casual, his hair perfectly disheveled from the numerous times he’d worried it. He was gorgeous. Objectively, I noticed. Subjectively, I tried not to.

  “I mean it’s Saturday night,” he teased. “I won’t take it personally that you’re ditching me for a textbook. I can see how torn up you are about it already.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “No, really. No need to apologize over and over and over again.”

  “I won’t.”

  I folded my arms across my chest, tried not to give in to laughter. The edges of his lips were already twitching even though he’d adopted a serious affect.

  “I can see how painful of a decision this is for you.”

  I looked up at him, a giggle slipping out.

  “Please, please, no tears. I’ll be fine, really. This doesn’t hurt my ego one bit.”

  “Good, I’m glad.”

  “Lucky for you I’m hugely popular and have lots of other friends.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yup, I’ve got hordes of them. Tons. There’s Henry and Tom…and well, Tom and Henry, and that’s not even counting the couple hundred friends or so I have on Facebook. I’m sure they have plenty of time for me.”

  I was still laughing when the elevator dinged. I knew if he didn’t have many friends, it was purely by choice. Apart from our first encounter, I found him to be incredibly good-natured. Dex straightened as the doors slid open, and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

  Smiling slowly, his gaze followed me into the elevator as I backed in. “You’re gonna kick ass on this test, Stats. Have fun studying.”

  I nodded, the look in his eyes warming my insides. Smiling back, I gave him a tiny wave just as the doors slid closed.

  Chapter Eight

  You should have done better.

  I’m sorry, Daddy.

  Next time you won’t disappoint me, will you?

  No, Daddy.

  You must always be the best.

  Alexa

  At the start of the seven o’clock hour, we filed into the lab and assumed our assigned spots in front of the synthetic human models. I’d dubbed mine Poor Peetie. Poor Peetie was anatomically correct in every way that mattered, except for one. No genitals. Hence the name: Poor Peetie.

  We’d all given names to our models and spent hours engaged in lively, one-sided conversations. We’d done the same with the human cadavers we’d dissected last year. Medical students didn’t get out much.

  Today the mood was different. Dour expressions masked the faces around me. These types of tests didn’t bother me so much, especially if I felt prepared. And for this exam I’d studied plenty, much more than the recommended three and a half hours a day. Monika and Tina stood across the room, John two places to my left, Carla in between us. I looked at John and he gave me a thumbs up.

  Monika nodded and smiled, thanking me again for getting her the equipment. It would’ve been disastrous for her to miss this test. I’d promised Dr. Leon I’d return his set after today’s exam. And frankly, the sooner the better. I’d be relieved when it was safely back in his hands. I looked to my three friends again. They made medical school tolerable. In this cutthroat environment, it was nice to know I had people I could count on.

  “I say after this we go out and get drunk,” John whispered, leaning forward.

  “It will be like eleven a.m.,” I responded under my breath.

  “No martini brunches where you come from?” Carla piped in next to me.

  Where I come from? I ignored that comment.

  “I was thinking more of a beer brunch followed by a beer lunch,” John explained. “I intended to get entirely wasted after this exam.”

  “Too early for me.” I shook my head. I wasn’t much of a drinker to begin with, and if I started that early, I’d be out for the count. I’d signed up to volunteer a few hours in the pediatric rehab ward this afternoon. The kids there needed help getting out of bed and assistance ambulating. The hospital didn’t have enough staff to attend to all the children in need.

  “Please put away all books, take out your equipment, and make sure that all electronic devices are turned off.”

  The instruction came from Professor Evans who stood at the front of the class, signaling the start of the exam. Grabbing my backpack off the floor, I pulled out my phone, intending to turn it off. The alert was on, snagging my attention. I’d missed a text message. Quickly, I hit the retrieve button, and there must’ve been the biggest, stupid-ass grin on my face when I read the words.

  KICK ASS, STATS

  Dex had sent the message at 6:03 a.m. I must’ve been in the shower. I powered off the phone and pulled out my equipment, then schooled my face like the Grim Reaper’s, because it would’ve been seriously bad form to look like I just hit the New York State Lotto while everyone else looked like their dog just got run over by a car. Inside, though, I was on the Channel Twelve news, holding that giant cardboard check.

  Three and a half hours later, I heaved a colossal sigh of relief and took a step back from the testing table. The exam had been challenging, but overall I thought I’d done well. I glanced around the room. Students were still working—all except one. Rhonda had finished a few minutes before me. She looked decidedly bored and self-assured. I felt her gaze like a scratch, but purposefully focused in the opposite direction. Ever since the incident at the lockers, I’d gone out of my way to avoid her.

  Soon, Professor Evans asked us to put down their instruments and bring the folder with our answers up to her desk. Tina and Monika made their way to the front of the room, but I couldn’t tell from their facial expressions what they thought of the exam. The room was morosely quiet except for the steady shuffle of feet. Like a robot, I followed the students in my row. I’d j
ust handed over my folder when I turned and saw Rhonda taking a detour through the row Tina and Monika had just vacated.

  What happened next played out in my mind before it happened, but the shock of it still crushed me. Rhonda stumbled and bumped her hip hard on Monika’s desk, sending Dr. Leon’s otoscopic set crashing to the floor. The sound of shattering glass rang through the quiet room like a death knell. My feet froze, my heart along with it.

  Tina gasped, then turned her horrified gaze to Monika, then quickly to me. I stared with disbelief at Tina, then met Monika’s large, astonished eyes. Finally my gaze landed on Rhonda. She had a hand clutched to her chest, her face a caricature of mock shock and contrition.

  “Oh my! I’m such a klutz. I hope nothing’s damaged,” she cooed sweetly.

  My entire body vibrated with anger. Red-hot lava coursed through my veins. That witch knew very well that Dr. Leon’s instruments were completely ruined.

  Dex

  I pulled the SUV to a stop at the light on Sixty-first and Third, finally heading home. I’d been playing phone tag all day with the CEO of the research company in L.A. Their drug seemed to have valued potential, but before I sank millions into a project, I needed to make sure it was solid. It wasn’t only my money at stake. I had an obligation to my clients to be fully informed, to hand them back a good return on their investments.

  The claims adjuster had contacted me late that evening with preliminary estimates on the Spider. Scrolling through my contact list, I pulled up Alexa’s number, telling myself this was the reason I was calling, not the fact that she’d ridden the back of every thought all day. I’d promised to keep her updated on the car situation. I was only being considerate, following through. I also wondered how her exam went. I’d bet the bank she’d rocked it. She answered on the second ring and I tamped down the stupid smile she easily tugged out of me.

  “How’d it go, Stats?”

  “I am so freaking pissed, I could hit someone!”

  Taken aback, I almost bumped the car in front of me. Slowing down, I swore and refocused on Alexa, concerned by the distress in her voice. I couldn’t imagine that she didn’t do well on her test.

  “What happened, Stats?”

  She puffed out a deep breath and I could mentally see her pushing up her giant glasses.

  “It’s a long story, but there’s some witch in my class who’s got a hard-on for me. She just lives to fucking torture me!”

  “You want me to kick her ass?”

  She laughed lightly. After a long day, it was nice hearing that sound. I wanted more. “No really, I’ll do it. I’m sure I can take her—wait, how big is she? ’Cuz if she’s over six feet, then I might need some backup. Girls fight dirty—scratching, and biting, and hair pulling.”

  I wanted to say that those activities should be left for the bedroom, but I bit my lip instead. I smiled, listening to her laugh even though I could tell she didn’t want to.

  “Dex! I’m serious!”

  “I am too!” I declared. “Just show me her ass, and I’ll kick it for you.”

  She sighed again, long and melodic. “It was just an awful day.”

  I scratched my chin, hating the melancholy that snuck back into her voice. “Tell me what happened.”

  My phone rang, signaling another call. The display lit up. My call from L.A. I let it go to voicemail. Alexa was talking about some doctor at school and some instrument for the ear. The call waiting signaled again. L.A. was calling back. I swore at the interruption.

  “Stats, I got another call. Let me just tell him I’ll call him back.”

  “No…no. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “I’ll get off.”

  “No, don’t. It’s okay.”

  “Are you home?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay. We’ll talk in a minute.”

  I hung up and took the call. The damn thing took almost an hour. I’d pulled over to take some notes and found myself in front of a Chinese restaurant. An idea struck and I hopped out of the car.

  Half an hour later, I was knocking on Alexa’s door. I’d remembered her apartment number from her license. The door pulled open and I was surprised at how fast my heart was running. What if she wasn’t up for company? What if she didn’t want to see me? Her eyes widened when she pulled open the door, but then warmth replaced her shock. That alone cranked courage through my chest.

  “Hope you don’t mind me dropping by.” I held up a bag of Chinese food. “I brought dinner. Figured we could eat and talk.”

  She ushered me in and I stepped into a room with two couches huddled around a coffee table. There was a desk loaded with giant texts next to an overburdened book case.

  “I already ate,” she said, staring pensively at the bag in my hand. “But I don’t mind if you do. I’ll get you some dishes.”

  In a few steps, I was sitting on the couch unpacking the food onto the coffee table. She’d disappeared into an adjoining room that gave the pretense of a kitchen. I could see that it was no bigger than a closet without a door. The cozy apartment was like her personality: sensible, warm, but with understated allure. Upon closer inspection, there was a lot more going on than met the eye. Her bookshelf seemed to be an ordinary wooden case, but given a second look, it was beautifully polished and intricately layered—like Alexa. There was a door off to my right that I assumed led to a bedroom.

  Breaking apart a set of wooden chopsticks, I dove hungrily into a carton of noodles. I’d gone for a run before work that morning and hadn’t eaten much today. I was starving.

  “So, tell me what happened,” I called in her direction.

  There was the distinct sound of drawers opening, the clink of utensils.

  “I don’t even know where to start,” she replied, her voice heavy with exasperation.

  “The beginning is good.”

  She walked into the room holding a plate, a knife and fork. Seeing that I didn’t need the utensils, she returned them to the kitchen, then popped back out.

  “You’re pretty good with those.” She indicated the chopsticks, then added, “You know, a year’s supply of disposable chopsticks consumes about twenty million trees. China is encouraging its citizens to switch to using non-disposable chopsticks and silverware to stem deforestation.”

  I couldn’t help smiling. She was in serious danger of becoming a geek. “I’ll have to remember that, Stats. I can save the knife and fork, too, if I just ate with my fingers.”

  Exasperation sculpted her face, but it was not nearly the lively response I would’ve expected from her. Her gaze skimmed the laden table, then she looked at me.

  “There’s enough for both of us,” I said.

  “There’s enough for ten of us.”

  Placing the plate on the table, she sat on the opposite couch with her legs tucked under her. She sported a messy ponytail and plus-sized sweats, looking ridiculously adorable. I’d also noticed a bubblegum pink nail polish on her bare toes when I’d entered the apartment. I was sure she had no idea how sexy that was.

  Worry creased her forehead and her usually friendly face lacked animation. I had the sudden urge to hold her in my arms, to comfort her. I squelched the strange desire, laughing inwardly at myself. There was nothing sexual about the impulse at all, but it would probably weird her out and make things uncomfortable between us. This whole friendship thing with a girl was a new experience for me. In a different reality, I would’ve had her naked and moaning beneath me right now, would’ve had those pink toes high over her head, and my tongue…

  Okay…school. Test. Focus…

  She started telling me about her friends at school, the exam, and Poor Peetie. Poor Peetie made me laugh. Rhonda sounded like a real bitch. I almost wished she was a guy so I could politely tell her to step off. Sometimes I could be very persuasive.

  It also pissed me off that Monika hadn’t taken greater precaution with the equipment, knowing that Alexa had borrowed it, but I didn’t say anything. It seemed the competition fo
r valedictorian was tough and not always clean. As she talked, I ate, offering her bites in between mine. She was hesitant at first, but eventually gave in.

  Since she’d returned the utensils, I used the chopsticks to feed her, forcing her to shift onto my couch. There was a strange intimacy about the act, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Even though she’d said she’d already eaten, she finished off half the meal.

  “I think Dr. Leon will understand,” I said, dragging a paper napkin across my lips.

  The quick shake of her head whipped around her ponytail. “He said he did, but it still doesn’t reflect well on me. He’d trusted me to be responsible with his equipment and I fucked up.”

  I looked directly at her. “First of all, it wasn’t your fault. It’s obvious Rhonda was being spiteful.”

  “Yes, but Rhonda swears up and down that she tripped and hit the table by accident. Other students saw her trip. I come across looking like I’m just trying to get her in trouble by making more out of it than it was.”

  I could see how Alexa’s accusation could’ve been interpreted, given their rivalry. It was a shame that Rhonda could be so malicious and get away with it.

  “I can’t imagine that Dr. Leon would use this against you. If he thinks you deserve to be valedictorian, then he’ll support you despite this.”

  “I don’t know about that. It’s really close. I’ve worked my tail off and I want this so badly.”

  Determination blazed in her eyes, fired by a desperation I found a little alarming. I lean forward, studying her beautiful face. “Why do you want it so badly?”

  She stared at her hands. I followed her gaze, surprised to see her fingers shaking slightly. I frowned, unease sneaking down my back.

  “I have to do this,” she whispered. “It’s important.”

  “Why?”

  Her gaze bounced back to mine. She straightened her glasses. There was a long pause. “I just have to. I can’t fail.”