by M. F. Wild
“I’ll never forget you, Reed. You’ve made me feel so special.”
“You are special, my beautiful girl. Never forget that.”
When the boarding call for my flight was announced, I struggled to let go of him. He lifted me up, giving me one final passionate kiss before setting me down.
Drunk on the kiss, I fluttered my eyes open.
“This isn’t goodbye, Clare. I’ll see you again.”
* * *
Megan snored lightly next to me on the plane. I was grateful for the peace. It gave me time to process everything in my head without her prying questions. I knew she wanted details about my time with Reed, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to give them to her. I wanted to keep them safely tucked away, to remind me how special sex could be between two people.
Resting my head against the window, I stared out at the evening sky. Reed had been right. My heart still completely belonged to Eric. Being with Reed only solidified that I deserved more than what Eric had given me. Sure, I’d loved our time together, but Reed had also opened my eyes up to how incredible slow, tender love could be. More than anything, I wanted to experience that with Eric, except I didn’t know where we stood. Could I forgive him?
I was completely exhausted by the time our plane landed. All I wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed, and sleep. Dropping my head, I followed my best friend off the plane. When I looked up, I saw the very last person I expected to see standing in the middle of the airport. My heart stopped at the sight of Eric.
Holding an armful of flowers, he moved toward me. “It was all a lie, Clare. That wasn’t me in the video. She set it up to keep us apart. I swear. Just give me a chance, and I can prove it to you.”
“Eric.” I said his name on a whispered breath.
He stepped closer, tipping my face up until I was gazing into his eyes. “I didn’t sleep with her. I’d never—”
“But, Eric. It’s not that simple. I…” I swallowed hard. I needed to be honest about everything that had happened with Reed. But how could I tell him if what he said was really true?
Eric interrupted me by pressing his finger to my lips. “Shhh. I don’t care what happened in Hawaii. It’s in the past. You and me? We’re the future.”
Chapter Five
Clare
The last few weeks of summer passed in a blur. Shifts at work filled my days, and secret rendezvous with Eric filled my nights. He more than met my physical needs. He defined them. He was the captain of my pleasure, and I was nothing short of addicted to the intimacy we shared.
Though we hadn’t planned it intentionally, both Eric and I had been admitted to the same university. When the time came to pack up and leave behind life in Ridgeville, we promised to pick things back up once we got settled into our dorms and learned our schedules.
For all those promises, I wasn’t prepared for three weeks of near silence. If we hadn’t been at the same college, I might have expected it—maybe—but we weren’t that far from each other. Still, the campus was enormous and we shared it with tens of thousands of other students from all over the country.
Eric was a freshman, but a well-positioned one. I had come into my own over the summer, but my uncertainties crept in. I was nobody in Ridgeville. Could I expect to be someone different here?
Eric had answered a few texts, but he was busy with an intense training schedule and, of course, classes. Maybe I should have given him the benefit of the doubt. But without his cock regularly inside me, reassuring me that he cared about me and our relationship, my insecurities were raging.
By the third weekend, I caved and invited Megan to come visit me. She was attending a private college only a short bus ride away. When she arrived on Saturday, we spent the afternoon drinking her new favorite—boxed wine—and choosing outfits for a night out. We were going to prowl campus parties until we couldn’t stand, which would be more fun than working ahead on my Psych assignments.
I tried on a tight black tube top that Megan had brought and assessed myself in the mirror. Not me. Not at all.
“I love it!” Megan announced loudly, nearly spilling a paper cup of wine on her satiny red halter top.
“I can’t pull this off.”
“Are you kidding me? You need to get over this shy shit, Clare. You’re in college and you’re a ten.”
I rolled my eyes. “No one seems to think that about me.”
“Because you’re not showing off your assets, girl.”
I shrugged and turned side to side, reconsidering the choice. I riffled through my drawers and found some skinny jeans that I’d bought but never had the guts to wear. The outfit came together, but disappointment and doubt kept welling up. I thought about calling Eric and seeing what he was up to, but then I imagined him blowing me off, which would only ruin my night.
I flopped on the beige carpet and filled a fresh cup to the brim.
Megan put her hand on mine when I finished it. “What’s on your mind, Clare? Do you like it here?”
I sighed. “I do and I don’t. The classes are great, really challenging…”
Megan groaned and rolled her eyes. “Clare, I do not care about how challenging the core curriculum is. I want to know about you.” She poked her finger where my heart beat under my ribcage. “What is going on with Clare?”
“I guess I’m lonely.” I shrugged. “I miss you, and even though I’ve made a few friends, no one compares. And I haven’t really met any guys. I thought college would be different.”
“College is different. So you should be too. This is our chance to start over, Clare. We’re not the book nerds and theater geeks we were at Ridgeville. We can be whoever we want to be. Especially at a school this big. Rock your skank clothes, and let’s act like we’re in college. Fuck the baggage and fuck the people we used to be.”
I inhaled a deep breath, pulling all of her kind wisdom in with it. When I exhaled, I imagined exhaling the old Clare. The one who never felt good enough. The one who woke up every morning wondering if Eric had texted her, like he was the only thing in life that mattered. Pathetic. Megan was right. I needed to get it together and take charge of my life, with or without Eric.
Full of renewed determination, I raised my glass with a toast. “You are completely fucking right, as usual.”
* * *
The music pounded loudly, vibrating the walls of the shabby frat house living room and my eardrums. The house was packed, thick with smoke and the crush of college kids partying. Drinking, laughing, kissing, shouting.
I welcomed the chaos, the blur of strangers in a strange place that was slowly becoming home. College was a rush of newness, one experience stacked right up on the next. It was busy, intense, intimidating, thrilling, and oddly lacking. I missed Clare, but still I couldn’t bring myself to arrange a time to meet her. Truth was I’d already scoped out her dorm. I could drop in on her anytime, kiss her, feel her velvety skin, have her, and fall into those scary emotions I felt whenever she was near.
But I hadn’t. Instead, I’d watched her like a fucking stalker. She went to class with friends and came back again. There was only one guy in her group, and though he looked innocent enough, I had to restrain myself from intervening whenever I saw her with him. Because she deserved freedom. Experiences. A chance to be the woman she was meant to be. Without Mandy and all the other people at Ridgeville who’d always looked down on her. She could be someone new here. Sure, she could be the girlfriend of the freshman quarterback, and I’d be proud to give her that title, but there was so much more to life than being the girl on my arm. She was too smart, too pure, too good to get wrapped up in that stupidity.
I couldn’t stake my claim over her, demanding her pussy and her heart for myself. Every cell of my being wanted to…but somewhere inside my self-serving heart, I wanted more for her. I had to give her space to be her own person. Even if it was tearing me up inside.
A curvy girl bounced down on my lap, breaking me from my familiar cycle of troubling thoughts. I saw her
tits before I saw her face. Nice and round, benefiting from the serious padding of the lacy bra that was peeking out from under her tank top.
“I’m Daisy.” She held out her hand to me, and I shook it wordlessly. “You’re Eric Hayward. Number twelve, right?”
She shifted on my lap, a motion that was probably supposed to seem casual but she was basically rubbing her pussy on my thigh. I was too defeated missing Clare to really care. I nodded and took a sip of my beer.
“I bet you get a lot of girls who know who you are, don’t you?”
I finally glanced up at her. She had light blond hair pulled into a tight ponytail that curled over her shoulder. She was pretty, but she wasn’t Clare. She was also one hundred percent right.
“You’ve got that right,” I finally said.
She cocked her head and put her finger on the wrinkle between my eyebrows. “You look like you need to have a little fun, Mr. Hayward.”
I nodded again absently. She might be right, but I just wanted to get drunk on this piss-odor couch, fall into my room, and dream of Clare. I closed my eyes. Her pretty little tits. Her sweet cunt. Wild curls that kissed her shoulders and fell down her back when she was arching and bowing under an orgasm that I was giving her. I exhaled and felt a hand stroking my growing erection.
I opened my eyes. Daisy had sex written all over her features. Supple glossy lips and half-lidded eyes. God, if only she was my beautiful Clare.
Then, as if I’d summoned her with my thoughts, I saw her, just over Daisy’s bare shoulder. I blinked twice and swallowed hard, because she hadn’t seen me yet. But she was really here, dressed to kill. I wanted to throw Daisy off of me and go after her, but I felt frozen in place. Then, before I could obscure myself behind Daisy’s body, she saw me.
Recognition, longing, and then a hard look of resentment came my way. I expected her to run away, but she simply turned her back and talked to Megan, whom I recognized next. They were chatting with two guys from the team.
Daisy’s hand was still stroking the wood in my pants when a half-baked plan began to form in my mind. Could totally backfire, but what the hell? I lifted my hips, pulled my key from my pants, and handed it to Daisy.
“Go up to my room. Two oh four. Wait for me.”
I slapped her ass and she stood, walking away with enough swagger to make me take a second look. I sure as hell hoped this went the way I wanted it to.
Then I shifted my focus to Clare, whose back was still turned to me. The skin she was showing was already driving me nuts. Her shoulders and the delicate curve of her waist. I stifled a groan and went to her.
When I was close enough, I caressed the bare skin of her back. Heaven. She jolted away the second she saw me. One of the guys tried to talk to me, but I was following Clare to the front of the house before I could get a word out. I caught her in the entryway where some fresh autumn air gusted in, giving me enough room to breathe.
“Clare. Listen.” I turned her by her arm, forcing her to look at me.
She lifted her chin proudly and folded her arms across her chest. “Listen? I’d listen if you ever felt like talking. What happened, Eric? Was I so easily forgotten?”
She was trying to sound tough, but her emotions showed in the tremble of her lips and the wavering tone of those few words. She was hurt, and I was fully responsible for it.
“I was trying to give you some space, Clare. It’s our first few weeks here.”
“You’re trying to make excuses so you can fuck other girls.”
She pointed back into the house. I knew she meant Daisy. She had every reason to be suspicious and pissed as hell. I’d demanded her fidelity and never promised my own.
“I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
“You’re a liar.” She spoke through gritted teeth.
I banded an arm around her waist and pressed her hard against the wall, bringing my hips flush against hers. God, she felt good. The need to have her under me was fierce. “Call me a liar again, Clare, and I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk for a week.”
She was a breath away, our lips nearly touching. She exhaled shakily but didn’t dare repeat the accusation.
Finally, I spoke again, harnessing all my willpower not to kiss this conversation away. Because she needed to hear me out.
“You’re the only one I want, believe me. I want to come home from class and see you there on my bed, ready for my dick. I want your cunt wrapped around me morning, noon, and night. You’re all I fucking think about. I’ll be lucky if I don’t fail out from having my mind between your legs all goddamn day.”
She blinked and searched me with those beautiful blue eyes. “Then why have you been ignoring me?”
“I’m not—” I sighed. “Clare, we’re in college. Believe me when I say I want you all to myself, but the longer we’re here, the more I realize that it’s not fair of me to ask that of you. I fucked around for years at Ridgeville. You’re here, finally coming into your own, on this campus with thousands of people. And you’re beautiful, Clare. You’re ripe for experience, and I don’t want to be the one to deny you that.”
She shook her head, her expression taut with emotion. “You’re wrong.”
“I’m right. And don’t for one second think that means I don’t want to be part of those experiences, but…”
“But you want your freedom too,” she whispered tightly, as if she were bracing herself for something terrible.
“I’m a quarterback for a Division One football team. Doesn’t matter how loyal I am to you, I’m going to have girls falling all over me. Every weekend, after every game.”
She closed her eyes like what I was saying was painful. I had to open her eyes, in more ways than one.
“Don’t you want more before you decide to lock things down with me, Clare? I mean, you’ve only been with me and Travis and…”
The guilty look in her eye told me she’d been with that surfer in Hawaii too. I could only hope he’d respected her, even as the thought of him fucking my girl sent a jealous rage through me. Except my jealousy was the problem I’d been trying to avoid for weeks by staying away from Clare. I couldn’t dance around this anymore.
“Believe me, I don’t want to share you with anyone. I never have. But for your sake, I think we should keep ourselves…open.”
She shook her head, her gaze steady on me. “What does that mean?”
“Come with me.” I grabbed her hand and took her through the party.
She offered a quick wave in Megan’s direction before I led her up the stairs to my dorm room. When I opened the door, Daisy was on the bed, peeling through a magazine, her legs swinging back and forth.
She flipped over and froze when she saw Clare with me. She went to move, but I held up my hand. “Stay. Daisy, this is Clare. Clare’s my girl from back home.”
She bit her lip and eyed Clare cautiously. Clare stood in place like she was made of stone. I’d loosen her up, soon enough. I moved behind her, positioning her back to my front so she could feel my heat, my love. Was it love? Yeah… I couldn’t really deny that anymore, but telling her now wouldn’t get us over this hurdle. Mine was a twisted backward kind of love, but I’d never felt this way about anyone else. I leaned in and kissed the place where her jaw met her neck and felt her sigh in my arms.
“Three things, Daisy,” I said, never glancing in the blonde’s direction.
“Shoot.”
“First, do you like girls?”
I flickered my gaze over to see her smirk.
“My sorority girls and I get together sometimes. We have fun.”
“Good. That brings me to my second point. I want you to help me make Clare happy tonight. If you do a good job of it, I’ll make you really fucking happy too.”
She licked her lips while I continued my assault on Clare’s neck. I could feel her muscles take turns, melting and tensing through this delicate conversation.
“What’s the third thing?”
I slid my h
and down the front of Clare’s tight jeans, finding the damp pussy I missed so much. Sucking her earlobe and breathing in her heavenly scent, I ignored Daisy’s last request for a second longer.
“I’m in charge,” I finally said, leaving no doubt in my tone.
Clare weakened back into me, rolling her hips into my touch. Good. We could do this… I could show her that we could do this. Without wasting another second, I told Daisy to strip. As she did, I made short work of divesting Clare of her skin-tight party clothes. She was hot wearing them, but I preferred her naked. She had a beautiful body, and as the thought floated across my brain, an unexpected feeling of pride washed over me. I wanted to show her off. I might actually enjoy sharing her more than I expected to.
* * *
My heart was speeding out of control. This was all happening too fast. I hadn’t had a second to process Eric’s words earlier. I still couldn’t tell if this was an elaborate ruse to get me to accept his infidelities or if he was serious about embracing mine. He’d always been so possessive. How could he have flipped that switch so easily? Could he really accept me…experimenting? I recognized the pained expression in his eyes when he’d said the words, but then there was something else. Arousal and determination.
Once I was naked, he tossed me onto the bed next to an equally nude Daisy. Her breasts were fuller, her nipples large, rose-colored disks, while mine were smaller and lighter. Her skin was darker, though I suspected from a tanning bed and not from the summer sun. Before I could let the comparisons run rampant in my mind, Eric’s touch demanded my attention. His eyes held a haze of lust and nameless emotion.
“Daisy,” he said, his gaze never leaving mine, “I want you to get Clare comfortable. And wet. I want her drenched for me.”
I struggled to bring air into my lungs. Then Daisy brought her hand to my cheek, turning me toward her smiling face.