by Emma Miller
Partner tossed his head, pulling on the reins in Bram’s hands. They were home.
But as Bram climbed out of the buggy and opened the barn door, he knew it was useless. He couldn’t uproot Ellie from the only home she had ever known. If she came with him to Mexico, they’d have to leave more than just her family. Everything she knew and loved was here. Her home, her family, her faith, her heritage.
He knew now what he hadn’t known twelve years ago—his own identity was defined here, among the Amish. His heritage. He might be able to survive away from it, but he could never ask Ellie and the children to bear that burden with him.
But could he bear leaving without her?
Bram unhitched Partner and took his harness off. The horse was warm but not too hot. The time in the shady grass at Ellie’s house and then the slow walk home had been good for him. Bram got the currycomb and brush and began giving him a good grooming.
Bram tried to let his mind go blank as he concentrated on the familiar task, but the thoughts kept swirling.
“God, what should I do?” he prayed out loud, leaning on Partner’s back.
The idea came so suddenly, so clearly, Bram knew it couldn’t be anything but the answer to his prayer. His search for Kavanaugh had been fruitless so far—but he had been an Amishman hunting for an Englischer. To find an Englischer, he needed to be one. To find a gangster...
Ja, if he went deeper undercover, inserted himself into the seamier side of these towns surrounding him, he could track down that snake in the sewers where he lived, places no Amishman would go. He would need to use every skill he had honed during those years in Chicago. It would be dangerous, but there was no other way to find Kavanaugh.
And once Kavanaugh was arrested, he’d have no reason to leave.
Chapter Fifteen
Sunday’s weather was pleasant, and after the meeting at Deacon Beachey’s home, the men moved church benches into the shady backyard for the fellowship meal and visiting afterward.
Ellie sat with Annie Beachey watching the children play while Annie tried to calm her new baby, Micah. Ellie took the crying baby when his mother offered him to her.
“See if you can help him. After trying to keep him quiet all through the meeting, I’m exhausted.”
“Oh, I’m sure you are.” Ellie held the wee bundle in her arms and rocked him. “It’s been so hot. Could it be heat rash?”
“Ja, he has heat rash and a terrible diaper rash. I just can’t seem to get rid of it.”
“Has he been eating well?”
“Ja, and your mam told me to give him some water, too, since it’s been so hot.” Annie stroked the baby’s head.
Ellie turned the baby so his stomach was pressed against her hand. He gave a loud belch.
“Do you think that’s what was wrong with him?”
Ellie smiled at her friend as the baby’s cries subsided. “Ja, I think so.”
She continued rocking little Micah. Ach, holding a baby was a sweet joy.
“I haven’t seen much of Bram lately,” Annie said. “Have you been able to talk with him often?”
Ellie looked across the shady yard at Bram, conversing with Dat and Matthew. She knew what Annie was really asking, but what could she say? Bram had become so important to her, but didn’t he still belong to his Englisch past? Did she have any right to think of him as more than a friend?
“Ne, I haven’t seen him for a week or so.”
“Ja, well, he must be busy with his work.”
“Ja, probably.” She didn’t tell Annie about the fears that kept her awake at night, the fears of a strange Englischer coming in search of Bram.
“Ach, Annie. There’s Miriam. I want to see how she’s doing.”
Ellie and Annie made their way to the bench where Miriam was sitting on the shady side of the house.
“I’m so glad you were able to come to church this morning,” Ellie said, rocking Micah back and forth.
“Ja, me, too,” Miriam said. “The rheumatism keeps Hezekiah in his chair so much that we don’t get out often anymore. Some days, he doesn’t even get out of bed.”
“I didn’t know it was so bad,” Ellie said.
“Ach, he didn’t want to burden others with our troubles, but I tell him it’s time. He can’t do everything on his own anymore.”
And if Daniel had lived, he wouldn’t have to. The thought made Ellie hot with shame. They shouldn’t have to ask for help; she should have offered sooner. But when would she have time to work on their farm?
“What can I do to help?”
“You don’t need to worry about us. Mr. Brenneman helps when he can.”
Just as Daniel would have.
“But when Mr. Brenneman finds another job, he won’t have the time.”
Miriam patted her hand. “The good Lord will take care of us. Hezekiah will find another neighbor to hire.”
Verna Bontrager, one of Miriam’s longtime friends, joined them on the bench. As the two older women visited, Ellie thought about Miriam’s words.
She should have seen this earlier. Hezekiah’s arthritis was worse every month, and yet it hadn’t occurred to her that he couldn’t do his work. Daniel planned that his farm and Hezekiah’s would be joined together, with the older couple’s small house as a Dawdi Haus, while Daniel and his children farmed the land. But none of them had foreseen Hezekiah’s advancing arthritis or Daniel’s death.
But what could she do? She had no money to pay for a hired hand and neither did Hezekiah. And yet if he didn’t hire someone, the crops would be ruined.
The strawberries should have brought her some security by next year, but now there were barely a dozen plants in each row that were surviving. It would be at least two more years before she could count on income from that source, and that was only if she could afford to buy new plants next spring.
She rubbed the line between her eyebrows. Her headache was coming back.
Gott, what am I to do?
* * *
“So you’re getting used to having a new baby in the house?” John Stoltzfus winked at Bram as he asked Matthew the question. Bram grinned back at him. Matthew hadn’t been able to talk about anything else all day.
“Ja, I am. I’ve gotten used to the night feedings, even. I’ve been able to get plenty of sleep.” Matthew’s face was serious as he started another lengthy discussion about his new son’s eating habits. John listened patiently, but Bram’s mind wandered to Ellie.
He had the perfect vantage point under this tree. He watched Ellie and Annie join some older women, Ellie holding Matthew’s new son, his nephew. The sight made his throat tight. What would it be like to see her holding his baby one day?
He shook his head and shut that thought behind a door. Not yet.
Can’t think about that now, not until Kavanaugh is taken care of.
He glanced her way again. She looked wonderful-gut in her new dress. She was visiting with Annie and an older woman he had never seen before, but that worry line was back again. Something was bothering her. Was one of the children ill?
He scanned the crowd from his spot under an oak tree. Johnny and Susan were playing a game of tag with some other children. It took a while to find Danny, but Bram finally spotted him on Sally Yoder’s lap as she sat with Elizabeth Stoltzfus. He let out a sigh of relief. Everything seemed all right, but something had caused that crease to appear again.
Bram made his way through the maze of benches until he stood next to her. She looked perfect, graceful, feminine. He ached at the sight of her.
“Ellie, would you like to take a walk with me?”
He spoke softly, but Ellie had heard him. The older woman next to her looked on with interest.
“Ja, I would like that.” She turned to give the baby to Annie, and
then the older woman grasped Ellie’s hand for a moment. A silent message of some kind. The two exchanged a smile. He would never understand women.
He took Ellie up the lane that passed by the barn and went toward a farm pond. It would give them a nice walk, not too far, and they would remain within sight of the rest of the congregation.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
She looked at him, surprise on her face.
“Ne.” She looked away. “Well, ja, but it’s nothing you need to worry about.”
What a stubborn woman—didn’t she know he would worry about anything that affected her?
“Tell me.”
She walked in silence until they reached the pond. A frog jumped into the water as they approached the edge. They stopped, and Bram watched the ripples from the frog’s splash until they disappeared on the opposite side of the small pond.
“It’s Miriam and Hezekiah Miller.”
“Who?”
“Daniel’s aunt and uncle. They’re the only family he had, and they had no other children.”
“Hezekiah Miller?” Bram searched his memory of the names he knew. “The man with the cane?”
“Ja, that’s him. His arthritis is getting worse, and without Daniel to help them...” She stopped as if she was staggering under a load too heavy for her to bear.
“Won’t the church step in?”
“Ach, ja, with the heavy work. But it’s the day-to-day chores that are hard for him, too.”
Bram understood. In any other family the older folks would retire to their Dawdi Haus, helping with the chores they were able to do and enjoying the quieter days with their children nearby. But with no family, Hezekiah didn’t have that option, even as frail as he seemed.
“I’m the only family they have left, but I don’t know what I can do to help them right now. Maybe in a year or two I’ll be able to hire some help for them, until Johnny’s old enough.”
She was counting on the strawberries.
“I told you I’m here for you, Ellie.”
“But this isn’t your responsibility. It’s mine.”
“I want to bear this burden with you, if you’ll let me.” He would bear all of her burdens if she’d let him.
She shook her head, looking at her feet. She chewed on her bottom lip, but that worry line was easing. Good. At least she was thinking about it.
“What could you do?”
“My farmwork is caught up, thanks to the church, and I don’t have a family to take care of. I could drive over to help out.” It would add some hours to his day, but he could still continue canvassing the area towns in his search for Kavanaugh.
“They live over by Topeka. That’s at least four miles.”
“Well, I won’t be able to go every day, but often enough to help ease the work. Maybe some of the younger single men could do the same thing. There are enough of us that it wouldn’t be too great a burden for anyone, and yet Hezekiah would have someone to help every day.”
Bram was rewarded with a grateful look.
“Thank you. I never thought of anything like that.”
He reached up and rubbed away the last of the crease between her eyes, letting his finger fall to caress her cheek.
“I told you, I can help you bear your burdens. All you have to do is ask. I’ll talk to your dat, and between us we’ll take care of it.”
If only all his problems could be solved so easily.
* * *
A week later, Bram left home at dawn for his second turn at Hezekiah’s farm. The older man appreciated the help, and Bram had found him to be cheerful the week before, in spite of his crippling disease. A morning spent working with him had flown by, and during the dinner with Miriam afterward, he had come to know Ellie through their eyes. She was as dear to them as any daughter could be.
The rest of his week hadn’t been as pleasant as he became Dutch Sutter again, complete with Englisch clothes, and worked on sounding out contacts in Goshen, the most likely place to find any sign of Kavanaugh.
The suit he bought for the job was uncomfortable, although it was almost identical to the one he had worn in Chicago just a few months ago. When he put it on, it was as if Bram Lapp had disappeared. Daily shaving had completed the image, erasing the Amish look altogether.
He never thought going undercover could be this complicated, but it was effective. He had found just enough information to narrow Kavanaugh’s activity to somewhere around Elkhart or South Bend, although he still had no idea where the prey was holed up or how many men he had working for him. Even so, it was time to find a phone and call in.
Partner’s hooves clip-clopped on the cement road that took him through downtown Topeka. When Bram caught a whiff of bacon frying, his growling stomach reminded him he hadn’t taken time for anything more than a cup of coffee before he’d left home. He took a deep breath of the mingled odors from the café. He’d have to stop in for some eggs and bacon before going on to Hezekiah’s. He took another deep breath. Ja, and a few doughnuts.
Coming out of the café with a bag of doughnuts twenty minutes later, Bram noticed the telephone exchange office was open. This would be a good time to call Peters.
He stepped into the office and closed himself in a public booth. He picked up the receiver and watched the bored-looking operator through the glass until she answered.
“Number, please.”
“I’d like to place a long-distance call to Elwood Peters, FBI, Chicago Division.”
He wasn’t surprised to hear her gasp on the other end, but he hoped she wasn’t the kind to listen in on calls.
* * *
Ellie lifted one foot to rub it over a new mosquito bite on her other leg. Sunburn, mosquito bites and twenty quarts of strawberries from the Mennonite neighbors down the road, all before eight on a Thursday morning.
“Don’t forget to keep stirring the jam, Mandy,” Mam said as she set the last jar in the large pot to sterilize. She turned back to the table where Ellie was cleaning the final basket of this morning’s picking of strawberries.
“Whew. Wouldn’t it be nice if canning season was in the winter when a hot kitchen feels welcome?”
“Ja, Mam, you say that every year, but you’re right. At least today is a little cooler than last week.”
Mam nodded as she picked up her knife. Her fingers flew as she took the stem off each berry and sliced it.
The berries were small, making the work take even longer. A drought summer made even something as simple as strawberry jam more work.
“We’re going to have strawberry shortcake for dinner, aren’t we?” Mandy stood at the stove, as far away from the heat as she could and still stir the jam.
“Do you really feel like eating strawberries after spending the morning with them?” Ellie said, scratching a mosquito bite on her other leg.
“Well, maybe not the strawberries, but shortcake would be good.”
By dinnertime three dozen jars of strawberry jam were cooling on the counter, and one of Mam’s sweet, flaky shortcakes had just come out of the oven.
Johnny burst through the door, slamming the screen against the wall.
“Memmi, the cows are in the strawberry field!”
Ellie rushed to the back door to look. Her heart turned cold at the sight of the family’s two milk cows and the yearling heifer in the field next to the Dawdi Haus. She grabbed Mam’s corn broom from the back porch and ran to the field. Johnny and Mandy were close behind her.
“You two go around them to the other side and get them to go toward the barn.”
Ellie stayed near the gate and used the broom to guide the cows toward the hole in the fence on the other side. She groaned as the splayed hooves of the animals churned the dusty soil, uprooting row after row of plants. When Buttercup sto
pped to pull one of the remaining green survivors up with her teeth, Ellie swatted her bony rump with the broom.
“Get on there, you miserable cow! Get in your own pasture!”
Mabel, the heifer, was in no hurry to return to the shady grass. She danced around Johnny’s and Mandy’s efforts to get her to follow the others, scattering bits of strawberry leaves and roots with every jump. Ellie added the broom to their efforts to corral her, but it wasn’t until Benjamin joined them that they were finally able to get all three cows through the hole in the fence.
Ellie turned to survey the damage. The field had looked pitiful before, but now it was gone. The money she had invested, the hours watering them, the worry...Any hope of seeing Daniel’s dreams fulfilled lay trampled in the dust.
Ellie felt Mam’s comforting arms around her shoulders and wanted to bury her face against her and cry, just as if she was Susan’s age, but she wasn’t a four-year-old.
Dat and Reuben joined Benjamin in the task of mending the fence. They finished the quick patch, and then Dat joined Ellie.
“Ach, Ellie. This is too bad.”
Rebecca stood at the gate with Susan and Danny, while the rest of the family gathered around Ellie. Whatever came of this, she wasn’t going to have to bear it alone.
“What will you do?” Benjamin’s voice was subdued. He had to be almost as disappointed as she was after all the work he had put into this project.
Ellie shook her head. “I don’t know.”
Mam squeezed her shoulders. “The Lord will provide. You’ll see.”
“Ja, I know.”
But when? How would she ever pay Bram back now?
* * *
Bram spent Friday morning in Elkhart after taking the Interurban from Goshen. A larger town than the county seat, and closer to South Bend and Chicago, Elkhart had much more to offer someone like Kavanaugh. He had found some evidence of criminal activity—duly noted and passed on to the local police—but no sign of the gangster.
He changed his clothes in the public restroom in Goshen and turned Partner toward the Stoltzfus farm. It had been more than a week since he had seen Ellie. The desire to talk with her had grown into an aching need. How had he survived before he met her?