by Aya DeAniege
We were there to save the humans, not partake in their flesh as if we were nothing more than demons.
I wasn’t prepared for how Ralph’s pleasure was different from a human’s. It was a feeling that spread through the astral plane, pooling about my feet and creeping up my length. It soaked into my very being. A pang of sympathetic emotion flared through me. A craving that I had buried down deep and kept hidden away since the last time we had walked the planes of Heaven.
The feel of it made me nostalgic.
In Heaven, I had had my romps. I had enjoyed sexual pleasure. I had enjoyed it a great deal, with a variety of partners. Even participating with a few imps, as much as they annoyed me out of the bedroom, so to speak.
My disgust of participating with humans wasn’t even because they were dirty animals, or that I wanted to raze the world to the ground and start over again. It was just…
That, that on the bed.
Raphael debasing himself as if he were a common demon. He was using her for sex. There was nothing that he could offer her in response. Humans needed other humans to continue being healthy humans. They needed each other. They needed to build connections in their world.
Our interacting with humans cut off those connections, left them stranded in the middle of their lives, usually at the time when they would have been forging the longest and best connections that they would need to live for as long as possible.
And there he was, thrusting into her and moaning like he was a human and had a right to enjoy the bodily pleasures that our Father gifted on the tiny little mortals.
There was a sound, and I realized that they were not alone.
That’s right. It’s not their room.
Toby was under Ralph, dragging Ralph down every time he moved upward. The Heavenly Host seemed caught up in the moment, utterly oblivious to my standing there, watching them.
Ralph ignoring me, I could see. We had all learned to ignore the shadows out the corners of our eyes, of whatever was going on in the astral plane. We had to, to keep going. Toby was still new. He seemed distracted continuously, eyes darting across the room as he watched what appeared to be motes of dust, dancing on sunbeams.
Toby sat with his back against the wall, Ralph in Toby’s lap, impaled by him and facing Sera, who straddled him.
Sera was facing the wall, Toby and Ralph’s backs were to the wall.
Angel wings weren’t exactly like a human imagined them to be. The wings did not come out of our backs, that wasn’t where wings belonged, especially when one had multiple sets of wings. Still, by looking at the wings, we were able to tell which body they were coming from because we knew how they should sit, and where they were bound to flow to if they were coming from a specific body.
The astral plane was also not like the physical plane. We called them wings and feathers and strands of fate, but they weren’t really like all those things. They were these things on the astral plane that we had come to call the things we used to fly with, and the bits that made them up.
Though, apparently, when our wings, or feathers, were pulled into the physical realm, they took on the physical form with which they shared their names. A wing became a wing, a feather a feather.
On the astral plane, they appeared made of light, all the same colour of light, in different thicknesses and textures, but all seemingly the same. I could still tell the threads of fate from the rest, but if a human looked at them, perhaps not.
A dark witch, for instance, might not manage any of that. She would grab whatever she saw and rip. Once she pulled it into the physical plane, then she’d see what she had. But we knew. Like a human knew if it was morning or night based on a feeling and the sun.
My not realizing who owned the wings was because of everything to do with the astral plane. All I knew for certain was that they were angel wings, real and old as could be. Not new, not belonging to a baby angel, but having existed for a long time, possibly since the beginning of all time. Many of us had a particular kind of colour to it, I guess a human might say. I knew and recognized my wings. I knew who was approaching me of the other three as well, because of how long we had been together.
Hundreds of angels had been there at the beginning with us and Father. So the age helped narrow down the owner of the wings, but the colour was opalescent. Of that number, a dozen or so might have allowed their wings to grow out to such an extreme.
None of which explained how those wings had ended up on Sera’s back.
The wings are attached to her.
Not just her flesh, but it had been inked into her very soul. I could see the droplets of ink shuddering back and forth as they wound their way through the ripped and bloody edges of the wings, working the anchor points deeper into Sera’s soul.
I let out a curse.
Which was the wrong thing to do when there were two angels in the room, I knew it the moment I made the sound. Toby’s startled surprise rippled outward, catching the edge of me as I gathered myself up to move.
I thrust myself away from the room, but I felt Ralph’s anger as I fled. I only hoped that he didn’t realize it was me who had been in the room. If he thought it was one of the others, he might not explode quite so much. He might even give me enough time to explain.
… that… we had to burn her with Hellfire?
What did we even do in that instance?
I hit my body and was out of the chair with a gasp. My coming to must have startled Grace, because I heard a squeak. Then I heard the disgruntled sound of Sam stirring from an almost sleep.
“Wings!” I shouted as I went.
The physical world seemed to burn me with the light and sound and heat of it all. There were too many things for my being to feel. I was overwhelmed and unable to do much more than process sound.
“Yes, nice tattoos,” Grace called.
“If he were talking about tattoos—” I heard Sam said as I fled the room.
I made it to the front doors without being trampled by Ralph looking for whoever had been in the room, so I knew I had something going for me. When I spotted Toby, standing by the drive, I counted my lucky stars.
He turned as I ran toward him.
“How long have you been here?” I asked as I skidded to a stop.
“Five minutes,” Toby said. “Was that you in the room? He’s super pissed, but I can’t tell you motherfuckers apart.”
“What’s with the swearing? You are part of the Heavenly Host, talk with some manners, for crying out loud.”
“I have manners, but I just want to remind you the same way I reminded him when he pretended to finish and decided to take her home,” Toby said. “Grace still thinks I’m human, so if you kill me, or hurt my flesh in some manner, she will know and want to know what happened, and then I’ll just tell Ralph what you did, and he’ll damage your flesh, and let’s face it,” Toby paused to shrug, “at that point I’m just laughing my ass off.”
“You pathetic meat sack,” I snapped, grabbing Toby by the front of his shirt and dragging him close. “I am an angel of the Lord, the greatest warrior of all the Heavens, and you will fear my flaming sword!”
The host made a sound as if he didn’t believe me.
For facing the wrath of an arc angel, Toby certainly was calm. Even self-assured as he made another sound that might have been a laugh.
Cocky, arrogant little piss.
“Still with the flaming sword, really Michael?” Toby asked with a shake of his head and an eye-roll. “Go out in this day and age and tell people you have a flaming sword and you’ll never need to worry about someone trying to bed you because they’ll assume you have a venereal disease.”
“Where did he take her?” I demanded.
“He took her home,” Toby said. “You people are so wound up that he didn’t notice the wings, he just saw you running away after you talked. Why did you have to talk? I was so close to coming. That would have been fabulous. And before you yell at me for that too, shut up about it. I was having my wa
y with Raphael and man… is that well worth the effort of telling him that I’m interested and just ignoring him for two years so that he doesn’t think I’m creepy or something. That ignoring him thing really works. No wonder he’s chasing after you like a puppy after a treat.”
I shook him like a ragdoll. I did it because I could, and I knew he wouldn’t die. He’d hurt in the morning, but he’d live. I threw him at my feet and spat to the side in disgust.
The host laughed. It wasn’t even desperate. He sounded like he was amused.
“Ah, there’s that old Michael charm,” he said as he wiped his bottom lip. “Hm, not bleeding.”
“Fuck you, host.”
“I’d love to, but only if you were tied up. After so long, you’ve probably got so much pent up sexual energy that you’d end up fucking someone to death. That doesn’t sound pleasant, despite the death by sex.”
“Is your only function as fuel to a fire?” I demanded.
“No, my function is a messenger and guardian style,” Toby said, staying firmly on the ground. “I’ve still got more juice in my hand than you do in your whole body.”
“Why does she have wings inside of her and on her back?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but you need to find out and fix it.”
“No, really? How? How do we get rid of a set of angel wings that are bound into the soul of a human? How do you do that? How do you even make that possible?”
“Dark witches, is probably where I’d start. So this is your mess to clean up.”
“She has wings, Toby!”
“I’m quite aware of that,” he said calmly.
Far too calmly. Like he had known that there had been wings on Earth before anyone else had. Like he had prepared for that moment.
It wasn’t beyond the Heavenly Host to know about the future. Or to even see the future and shift into the past to alter it. Toby wasn’t supposed to do that around us because it could shorten the lives of humans and Sam wanted to keep that as far away from Grace as possible.
I wanted to beat it out of him, but as I reached down to drag him back up and make him tell me, Grace appeared at the front door. She was watching us as Toby got up and smoothed out his clothing.
“He was just helping me up,” Toby called to her.
“What are you doing here, Toby?” Grace called out. “I thought we gave you a room in the estate.”
“Right, uh, see, I had sex with Ralph,” Toby said. “Quite a mind-altering experience. I got a little lost. Room’s in there? Yeah, I’ll head in there and take a cold shower, then go to bed.”
Toby headed back into the estate as I looked over him, to Grace. She moved to the side as Toby passed her, keeping her eyes on me as I stood there, only then fully realizing what Sam had meant all those months ago when he had sat us down to explain it.
She was his grace incarnate.
And I had inadvertently sparked the rage that had once been described as loyal, but chaotically good.
Grace had decided Toby was hers, and I had seen that sort of claim before. I had witnessed the destruction that Sam had wrought when someone had turned on him.
“Don’t you do that again,” Grace said to me before she turned and headed back into the estate, closing the door behind her.
Warning received.
It would be my only warning. If I crossed the line with Toby again, she would rain hellfire down on me.
I could only hope that Grace, not having access to Sam’s knowledge and experience, wasn’t capable of bringing hellfire down from the skies in a literal fashion.
Driving Sera home, I was furious. I had lied to Toby, to stop it from getting entirely out of hand, but I had known. It was impossible to ignore those wings, even if he kept them so close to his back.
Michael had spied on me.
Not just on me, but on us, together. Sera, Toby, and I sharing a very private moment. Whether or not Mike had taken Sera to the wedding, didn’t dictate who went to bed with her. Sera was a woman with a mind of her own. She had every right to go to bed with whomever she pleased. And considering he wasn’t going to do that anytime soon, I had every right to accept her offer for sex.
But we didn’t spy on one another when we were having sex. It was like that code that men of the modern age followed on and off. You don’t spy on your guy friends having sex, even if they’re having sex with your date. That was like staring at a urinal. You just don’t do it.
It was like the rules just didn’t matter any longer. Like Mike could do whatever he wanted, and Sam would just let him get away with it because he found Sera first so therefore…
Therefore nothing. Just because Mike found Sera first didn’t mean that she automatically belonged to him. He wouldn’t even know what to do with her.
“Raphael?” she said.
“Hm?” I asked.
I turned toward her, catching back up with reality as she smiled just slightly at me. She turned her attention to the road.
“The light is green,” she said, pointing out the windshield.
“Right, sorry.”
I pulled through the intersection as I realized that there had been an awkward silence hanging over the car for some time. Since leaving the estate, we had both been silent. I had been brooding over Mike, she had found my answers short at best if they had been presented at all.
“Did I do something to upset you?” she asked.
“What?” I asked, glancing at her, then back at the road. “No, you didn’t.”
I could have thrown Mike under a bus, as the saying went. Told Sera about him spying, but that would have required a streak of pettiness that I just didn’t have in me. Sam had made it clear that none of us were allowed to be petty in our reactions to the others, he wouldn’t stand for it, and I was already ‘in trouble’ for stealing Michael’s date away.
“I left the curtain open a crack accidentally and swore I saw a camera flash,” I said instead. “Sam will deal with it, it’ll never make the papers, but who does that?”
That was the sort of excuse that a human might accept. Sera might not care if someone snagged a picture of her, but I could play it up as having a stalker. That would give a perfect excuse for my sullen silence. Concerned and disturbed always led to silence and crankiness.
“You know, I thought I saw a flash too,” Sera said. “I just assumed it was headlights from a car.”
That’s impossible.
That Sera saw Michael leave? Yes, it had to be impossible. The chances of her being one of the few humans who actually noticed the astral plane were astronomically low. Her having that ability might explain why Mike was paying so much attention to her, and why she was behaving strangely. Usually, humans who saw the astral plane acted either absolutely crazy, talking about demons and such, or were a little more subdued than the average human, like they were caught in a cloud.
“We built the estate to prevent that kind of thing. The front windows, yes, but the guest rooms on the front of the estate are there for people we hate. Noise travels really well. The hot water never seems to work properly. You know, little things that scare guests off.”
“Because guests just invite themselves over when you’re rich.”
I loved that she was filling in the story for herself. Sometimes it was difficult to keep track of our lies, and it was a fantastic turn of events that Sera would speak for me. Like she thought I might be embarrassed about the entire thing and by speaking up, I might be saved my feelings.
“They do,” I said.
All I had to do was work in a comment about a possible stalker, and we’d be covered for the little problem in the guest room. Then I could deal with Mike out of sight.
I might have been a healer, but that didn’t mean I cringed at beating on one of them when they upset me.
“I thought it was just family that did that.”
“Uh, no, our family lives far away. They almost never visit.”
Except for Toby, but I couldn’t very well tell her th
at he counted as family, that might get the wrong ideas going in her head. She might also think we’re all incestuous. While she could tell we weren’t brothers—what mortal couldn’t, really?—Toby might be mistaken as related to me.
Could humans tell each other apart based on genetics still? Or was that something one learned through several lifetimes worth of interaction? I could no longer remember.
Could always ask Grace.
I tried to make a mental note to ask Grace when I returned to the estate, but the second I tried to do that, I felt it trickle away. I’d never remember.
“Not that I’d recognize your family,” she said. “None of you look the same.”
“All adopted,” I said.
“Pretty generous of your father.”
“Not really,” I responded as I pulled to a stop in front of her apartment. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy and would do anything for him, but he took us on as workers first, children second. Loyalty and obedience were not options. We didn’t even learn the words until…”
Until humans were made.
Despite the mythos surrounding Heaven and Father, it had been Michael, not Samael, who had wanted to end the humans and start again. It had been Michael who had been jealous of the attention that Father’s new creation had. Samael had been smitten with them, just as Father had been. Perhaps more so, what with the whole Lillith incident where he fell from grace because he couldn’t order her to become the mother of all humans.
Except I couldn’t tell Sera that either. I struggled for a moment because we had long ago laid out our stories for those moments.
Sam might not have appreciated our bitter selves, but he knew that it was bound to come out sometimes. Even he had slipped up a time or two. Because of that, he had helped us prepare to deal with humans when we divulged too much information.
Admittedly, I had to use the story more often than the others.
“School,” I finished with a wince.
“That was a really long pause. You know that, right?” Sera asked.