by Laura Drewry
“Because I ran into Snip last night and the whole time I was talking to her, I kept thinking what a dick you were for what you did and what a dick I was for just blindly taking your side like I always do. She deserved better than that.”
To his credit, Will didn’t argue. Instead, with a jerk of his head, he motioned for Jack to follow him down onto the grass.
“You want to know, I’ll tell you, but it’s just going to piss you off.”
“Already there, brother.”
“Okay.” He took a long drink from his bottle, wiped his hand across his mouth and nodded briefly. “The truth is I didn’t even want to get married—the whole thing was a mistake right from the get-go.”
“What the hell do you mean you didn’t want to get married?” Do not punch him. “And if that’s how you felt, why the fuck didn’t you tell her?”
“I tried! Okay, I didn’t come right out and say it, but God knows I dropped enough hints. I mean, I liked her, sure, but there was no way in hell I was thinking marriage. She and I had only been together a few months, remember? We met at that stupid party just after Christmas and suddenly in June I woke up one morning engaged! Honest to God, I don’t even know how that happened. We’d been out celebrating, remember, it was the night TMJ offered to buy your first game.”
“I know.”
“Then you know how drunk we were. Jeezus, Jack, I don’t even remember proposing to her, so for all I know, she could’ve made the whole thing up.”
Jack ground his teeth together as Will went on.
“As soon as I realized what the hell happened, I was going to break it off with her, I swear to God, but she’d already told Mom and, well, shit, Jack.” Will huffed out a breath that seemed to be full of both regret and pride at the same time. “My whole life I’d never done anything to make Mom that happy, you know?”
Yeah, Jack knew. Genie had spent that whole day laughing, then crying, then laughing some more. Jack had spent the whole day throwing up.
With Pete continuing his grid-search sniffing around the huge yard, Will led Jack to the patch of concrete near the back where he’d set up a basketball net. As one, they set their beers off to the side and assumed their positions, with Jack on defense. Will started forward, deked left and shouldered past Jack to the basket.
Two points.
“When Maya said she wasn’t in any hurry,” Will said, “I thought that could be my way out. If I rushed her into everything, maybe she’d panic and be the one to call it off.”
“And then you wouldn’t be the one to look like such a dick.” Back at the top of the key, Jack sent the ball in a high arc and knocked in a three-point shot off the backboard. “How’d that work out for you?”
“Fuck you, man. It was stupid, I know, but once things got rolling, I didn’t know how to stop it; and then suddenly we were married, she kept talking about having babies, and I freaked out. I’m sorry, okay? I am, but I wasn’t near ready to have a kid. Shit, I’m with kids every day, and they’re great, but one of my own? Wasn’t even on the radar.” Will stood under the net and stared back at Jack with what actually did look like regret. That was a first. “If I could change what happened, I would, but I can’t. And it turned out for the best anyway—you saw what a psycho she turned out to be.”
“So…what?” Jack asked as Will dribbled in. “You’re going to marry the chick you screwed around with because…why? Because you don’t have the balls to call this one off either? Is that the real reason you’re pushing for such a fast wedding?”
For a second there, Jack thought Will was going to nail the ball at his face, and he probably deserved it, but instead, Will exhaled slowly and shook his head.
“It’s not like that. We’ve been engaged for months, and I’m telling you, this is the real deal. Stella’s amazing; you’re going to love her, I promise.”
“Yeah, you also promised that hooking up with that chick the night of your bachelor party was a one-time thing.” With a quick leap, Jack knocked back Will’s shot. “And then you promised to love Snip for the rest of your life, so you can see why I’d be skeptical about another promise now.”
Will bounced one off the rim and made a grab for the rebound, but Jack got there first, and for the next little while they went at the game harder, sharper, and faster, because, even though neither one said it out loud, they both knew that short of pummeling each other with their fists, this was the best way to get shit out.
Pretty soon Pete ran over, not really sure what he should be doing, but letting out sharp barks every time Will checked Jack. Just as Pete made to lunge at Will, something he’d never done before, Jack grabbed the ball and jerked it to the side.
“Down!” Pete dropped to his belly, but he never once took his eyes off Will, and neither did Jack. “You should’ve had the balls to call it off with Maya.”
“I know.” Will tugged the ball out of Jack’s hands and sent it in a perfect arc at the net. “But if you’d had any balls, you would’ve told her about the chick at the bachelor party, and then she would’ve called it off right there and then.”
“No way; this isn’t on me.” Only it was, sort of.
“Did you ever tell her?”
Jack lunged to his right and palmed the ball as it bounced back toward them. “No.”
“I didn’t think so.” Will reached for his beer and took a long swig then wiped his hand across his mouth. “Have you even spoken to her since we ran into her after the split?”
“Not until last night.” Jack lifted his beer and grinned. “She was at the pub with the rest of your fan club.”
“You mean her fuckin’ posse,” Will spat out. “The whole group’s—”
“Hey.” Jack wasn’t grinning anymore. “You gave Snip the right to badmouth you for the rest of time if she wants to, and as for the other three, they’re her friends. Whose side did you think they’d take?”
“You’re right,” he said, with a steady look and a slight tip of his beer bottle in Jack’s direction. “Friends should always have each other’s backs.”
“Don’t even—”
“I fucked up, Jack, and I get it, you’re pissed, and that’s why you’ve been avoiding me and Stella. But we’re family, man. Don’t I deserve a second chance? I mean, shit, doesn’t everyone deserve that? When you fucked up and landed in that group home, Mom and Dad gave you a second chance, didn’t they?” Will flashed a wide grin and shrugged. “Besides, you know Mom won’t settle for anyone else but you as my best man.”
Fuhhh! Will might be a shit, but he was right. Burt and Genie had given Jack a chance when no other family would even consider fostering a fourteen-year-old boy, and certainly not one who’d started smoking weed. If the Carsons hadn’t plucked him out of that group home when they did…to this day the thought still made him shudder.
He might have been the tallest boy in his room, but that didn’t mean shit when his five roommates were all muscle and liked to use him as their punching bag. Jack wasn’t stupid, though. He learned pretty quick that no matter what happened, at the end of every day, he was still going to end up back in that same bunk in the same room with those same guys; so when asked, he learned to tell the doctors he’d gashed his forehead open on a cupboard door, and that he’d bruised his ribs falling down the stairs.
By the time he’d shown up in the emergency department with his right arm in two pieces and his left shoulder dislocated, he’d simply shrugged and called it an accident. There was no way in hell he would ever tell anyone what they’d done to him that night, and by the time he’d recovered, the Carsons had saved him.
They’d taken him in, given him a safe place to live with consistency and stability, things he’d never had before; and it was their guidance that helped steer him away from the stupid things he’d started doing, things he’d only done to try and show the other guys in the group home that he was cool like them.
Smoking a bit of pot and stealing candy from the 7-Eleven didn’t exactly make him a hardened criminal, but
he couldn’t honestly say Genie was wrong in what she’d said at the rehearsal dinner.
He’d been heading in the wrong direction and they turned him around, so to this day, if something made Genie’s life easier or happier, Jack did it. And Will wasn’t stupid; he knew the second he mentioned Genie’s name, Jack would do whatever was asked of him, even before he huffed out a resigned sigh.
“Attaboy. You won’t regret it.” He slapped Jack on the shoulder and they started back toward Stella, who’d just stepped outside, letting the screen door slam behind her. “I hope you like pink.”
“Seriously?” Jack groaned quietly. “Why can’t I just wear the same one I wore to your last wedding?”
“Because Stella wants her own wedding, not a revamp of someone else’s.”
So for the next couple hours, they sat out on the deck and Jack tried his damnedest to show interest in all the wedding details Stella threw at him even though he couldn’t have cared less about the length of her train, which shade of pink his cummerbund was going to be, or if the flower girl should throw rose petals or blow bubbles.
He even kept his mouth shut when they said they were looking to have the ceremony down by the waterfront. Stella and Will weren’t stupid people, but if they thought having an outdoor wedding in November was a good idea, then they deserved to be rained on.
“Will you be bringing a date to the wedding?” Stella asked. “Some lucky girl you haven’t told us about?”
“Nope,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Going stag again.”
He honestly hadn’t meant to say “again,” it just came out, and once he’d said it, he couldn’t get it back. To Stella’s credit, though, she didn’t flinch, just smiled and shot him a wink.
“Well, there’s still time,” she said. “I’ll mark you down as a plus one just in case. Or maybe you’ll find someone you like at the wedding.”
Yeah, there was about a snowball’s chance in hell of that happening, but he’d already put his foot in it. He didn’t need to make it worse, so he just lifted his hands in a “you never know” gesture and chugged more of his beer.
“Have you been down to the new office yet?” Will asked.
“Yeah, I was down there this morning.”
“How’s it looking?”
“Empty, but Nick’s pretty sure we’ll be in on schedule.”
Will lifted his brow as if that said everything he didn’t.
“Whatever, man,” Jack said. “He seems like a good guy.”
“I guess.” Will looked like he was going to say more, but stopped when Jack’s phone rang.
“Excuse me.” Pushing away from the patio table, he headed out onto the grass, thankful Will couldn’t see him smile as he hit the answer button. “Hey Snip…No, it’s fine, I’m glad you called…I’m good, you?”
As it always had, the sound of her soft voice calmed him, relaxed the knot in the base of his skull and made it easier for him to breathe.
“I can’t tonight,” he said quietly. “Yeah…What about tomorrow? Whatever time works for you…Great, we’ll see you then. ‘Kay. Bye.”
He ended the call, but it took him another couple seconds to force the grin off his face before he turned back to the patio.
“Everything okay?” Stella asked, then smiled when Jack nodded. “Will, if you’ll fire up the grill, we’ll get supper going.”
She’d barely closed the screen door behind her when Will pinned Jack with a look.
“Is this a thing now, you and Maya?”
“A thing? She wants to see Pete.” Jack didn’t blink. “Is that a problem?”
“Not for me.” Will’s shrug couldn’t have been more forced. “I just don’t want her getting in the way and making this difficult, that’s all.”
“She was never the one who made any of this difficult.” Jack chuckled, dry and harsh. “But I don’t think you need to worry, because she doesn’t seem to give a shit about you or any of this anymore.”
“Good.” Will pulled the cover off the barbecue and tossed it over the back of the nearest deck chair. “So when are you going to see her?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Wow, not wasting any time, is she?”
Jack’s fist tightened around his beer bottle. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh come on, Jack.” Will flicked the handle behind the grill to start the gas, then fired it up and closed the lid. “She’s always liked you, you know that, and it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to think she’d make a move on you to get back at me.”
Anger lodged so deep in Jack’s throat he couldn’t say anything else.
“Just remember, bros before hos, man, that’s all I’m sayin’.”
Jack had always hated that expression, and he hated it more as he stood there listening to Will laugh, sharp and harsh.
“I mean, shit, Jack, she was my wife. I’ve fu—”
“Hope you guys are hungry.” If Stella noticed the tension between Jack and Will, she didn’t let on, just set the platter of steaks on the corner of the table nearest the grill. “Jack, would you give me a hand?”
He hadn’t realized how hard he’d been gripping his beer bottle until he had to pry his fingers off, and once they were loose again, he had to force them to stay open because if they curled into a fist…
One swing, that’s all he’d need. Just one. Okay, maybe two.
Instead, he pushed himself to his feet, nodded, and followed Stella into the kitchen. The second he stepped through the door and saw her standing like that—back against the oven door, arms crossed, staring straight at him—it was obvious he wasn’t there to pack and tote steak sauce or cutlery.
“Okay, look.” Blowing out a breath, she unfolded her arms and curled her hands around the oven door handle. “I get it, you have no reason to like me, and that’s totally my fault, I know, but I can’t fix any of this if you don’t let me try.”
Shit. This is what he got for being such a dick to her for so long. He should have manned up and dealt with this right at the start; instead all he could do was cross his arms over his chest, then unfold them and stuff his hands in his pockets before he managed to finally meet her gaze.
“What Will and I did was wrong, Jack, we all know that, and I’m so, so sorry. I’ll apologize for that until the end of time, but I’ll never apologize for loving him, so if that’s what you’re waiting for, we might as well give up right now, because it’s not going to happen.”
After another second she finally took pity on him, standing there all awkward and uncomfortable and continuing to shift his hands from his front pockets to his back ones.
“Here.” She shoved a huge bowl of potato salad into his hands then sank back against the stove again. “Will’s your family, Jack, and he needs you. Believe it or not, he feels horrible for what he did to Maya, but what hurts him most is knowing he disappointed you.”
Her gaze never wavered. “What we did was bad, yes, but we’re not bad people. We’re not.”
Jack stared down at the paprika-covered egg slices in the bowl for a long moment before he finally found his voice.
“You don’t understand, Stella. We’re not talking about some chick who married Will on a whim at some drive-through Vegas wedding chapel. It’s Maya we’re talking about.”
“I know.” Stepping forward, she pressed her hands against his forearms and squeezed gently, a gesture that seemed to express both regret and empathy at the same time. “Will told me how close you were with her, so I understand why this is so hard for you and why you don’t want to accept me. I’d be the exact same way if I were you. All I’m asking is that you give me a chance to prove this is real, that the trouble and the hurt we caused can end in something good, something happy.”
First Will, now Stella. It was like they planned their two-pronged attack before he got there, and while it irritated the crap out of him, they weren’t wrong. For too long now he’d hovered in limbo, waffling over being supremely pissed at Will
, yet continuing to have his back by cutting ties to Maya. So what did that make him?
A dick, just like Will.
Both Will and Maya had picked up and moved on, so why hadn’t he?
If it had been anyone else but Will, Jack would have beat the shit out of him and never looked back. But it was Will, so Jack had found himself stuck between wanting to walk away and never look back and knowing if he did, he’d be leaving behind the whole Carson family, the only family he’d ever had.
Fuck.
Talking to Snip last night only made this worse, because a couple hours with her made him realize what he’d been missing, and the one thing he knew for damn sure, standing there in Stella’s kitchen, was that he didn’t want to give that up again. But if it came down to choosing between Will and Maya again…no…it wouldn’t come to that again, would it?
Shit. Of course it would.
“What do you say, Jack?” Stella’s voice dragged her face back into focus. A weak smile twitched against her mouth as her gray eyes searched his face. “Can you give us a chance? For Will’s sake?”
“ ’Course.” He finally nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Thank God,” she gushed. “Because if it came down to a choice between you and me, I’m not entirely sure I’d still be standing here tomorrow.”
She was right on that, Jack mused, because as stupid as it was, Will actually believed the whole “bros before hos” thing.
Chapter 4
“Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!”
Ross Geller, Friends, “The One with the Cop”
The Stalk Market, halfway down Main Street, was tucked between a café with a cactus painted on the window and a barbershop complete with the spinning red, white, and blue pole.
An old metal trolley covered in all sorts of different flower arrangements, each one in a different kind of vase, none of which was regular old glass, stood outside Maya’s shop. There were arrangements in pieces of hollowed-out birch branches; a couple were wrapped up in burlap and ribbon, and the one with the yellow roses and funky twigs was set inside a big bird nest.