by Ann Pino
It could’ve been an hour or only a few minutes, but when Cassie opened her eyes she found Elissa standing by her cot, wearing a blue dress that looked like something out of a production of Camelot. “We’re sorry about your friend.”
Cassie gave a faint nod and wished the room would quit trying to spin.
“We told Galahad you can stay here as long as you like. When you’re ready to leave, we’ll give you an escort back to the hotel and we’ll coordinate strategy with your leader to avenge this needless attack.”
Again, Cassie nodded, her tipsy brain not up to the task of wondering why the Thespians would engage in a risky revenge over the death of a Regent, especially one as unimportant as Leila.
Elissa brushed a lock of hair out of Cassie’s face, then walked away with a regal air. As she left the room, Cassie thought she heard the empress mutter, “Those fuckers. We should’ve cleaned out that goddamn cult a long time ago.”
Cassie closed her eyes. When she opened them again, Galahad was at her side. She was so relieved to see him that she couldn’t find words and hoped he could read her mind instead.
“You okay?”
“I think I’m drunk.”
“It helps. Just don’t get used to it. Then it makes things worse.” He took her hand. “I feel like an idiot. You warned me about Paul and I should’ve listened. I’d give anything to go back and do this day different.”
“I know.”
“Do you really? Sometimes I think—”
“Don’t talk.” Cassie tried to create a space beside her, too tipsy to be afraid of rejection. “Hold me. Just until I fall asleep.”
He frowned at the narrow spot beside her.
“Please?”
Galahad wedged himself into the cot and Cassie nestled in his arms. With her head pillowed on his chest and lulled by the steady beat of his heart, she fell asleep.
* * *
A group of Thespian guards attired in phony chain mail and faux-leather leggings accompanied Cassie and Galahad back to the hotel after midnight. As they approached the front entrance, they could see that all the older Regents had waited up for them. Cassie was glad she was still numb and had the warmth of Galahad’s embrace imprinted on her recent memory, otherwise she didn’t know how she would’ve coped with the fuss when all she wanted was to slip away to someplace dark and quiet so she could try to make sense of the day.
She was wondering how she could best get away and if Galahad would go with her, when David stalked out of the shadows, his face paler, his eyes more deeply charcoaled than she had ever seen. There was something malignant in the way he glared at Galahad, and Cassie wished she could have another shot of vodka and be oblivious to what would happen next. Beside her, Galahad stiffened and there was a note of fear in his eyes despite the defiant lift of his chin. Cassie waited for the accusations to begin and was relieved when Alex broke through the crowd.
“Get back, everyone!” He forced David aside. “Come with me,” he told Galahad and Cassie. “Mundo wants your report.” To the rest of the group, he added, “All questions will be answered after the debriefing.”
Alex and his guards ushered Cassie and Galahad into Conference Room A, where Mundo and Julilla were waiting. Julilla rose to greet them and gave Cassie a hug that startled her and made her want to cry.
Mundo urged everyone to sit and directed a guard to have food and wine brought in. He asked about their health, injuries, and how the Thespians had treated them. When the food arrived, a bowl of out-of-date packets of potato chips, Cassie went through two packets at once while Galahad described the events of the day. When he was done speaking, the others eyed him solemnly.
“You realize what we have to do,” Mundo said.
“I know, and if it’s not an issue with anyone, I want the command.”
Alex looked at him askance. “I don’t doubt your ability, but what about conflict of interest?”
“That’s why I need to do it. I won’t have anyone say I allow my cousin to kill our people. Besides, I forage this city every day. If the Christian Soldiers are out of their territory, I stand a better chance of finding them than you do. No offense.”
“Good point,” Julilla said without giving Alex a chance to respond. “But if you have to face him in armed combat, do you think you could…?”
“After this? Yes.”
For a moment, everyone looked at each other in silence. Then Mundo said, “Fine. You say you want a chance to make things right, you’ll have it.”
“Can I be on this team, too?” Cassie asked.
“No,” Galahad said, with such firmness she was taken aback.
“But she was my friend.”
The others at the table shook their heads. Alex started to explain, but Julilla rose and motioned Cassie into the hallway.
“I’m not weak, and I’m not a child,” Cassie said when they were alone.
“That’s not why,” Julilla said. “It’s that you’ve never trained for battle, and this sort of fight isn’t one to engage in when you’re upset.”
“What about Galahad? He’s upset, too.”
“He’s ex-Kevork. Totally different situation.” Seeing that this answer didn’t satisfy, she added, “Your boyfriend is going to have a hard enough time doing the right thing without you there. You haven’t trained to fight together, so if you go, he’ll be worrying about protecting you when he should be focused on his mission.”
“He’s not my boyfriend and his worries are his problem.”
“His worries are our reality. You know I wouldn’t bullshit you. Besides, you look like you could sleep for days.”
Cassie folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t want to sleep. Every time I close my eyes….”
Julilla rested a hand on Cassie’s shoulder and peered into her face. “Want to tell me what really happened out there? Might help to talk about it.”
“You heard. That fucking bastard. I should’ve pushed him off the garden patio when I had the chance. Or had Truong shoot him, or—”
“Be careful with the what-ifs. They’ll kill you.”
“So will damn near everything else.”
“No, the other stuff only kills your body. The what-ifs kill your soul.”
* * *
Cassie couldn’t bear the thought of going to her room and asked Galahad if she could sleep in his room instead while he stayed up to plan strategy. To her disappointment, he refused. “I have my reasons,” he said. “Please believe me.”
She didn’t believe him, but let him walk her to the clinic where he found her an empty mattress in the ward. After explaining the situation to Doc, Galahad knelt by her side. “Is there anything you need?”
The only thing she needed was for today to have never happened. “Don’t go.”
“We’re not leaving yet. We’ll probably be talking all night.” He cupped her cheek in his hand. “I’ll try to come by before we leave, but if I can’t, I don’t want you to worry about me or anything else.”
After Galahad had gone, Doc came to sit with her. He offered a few strained condolences, then fell silent as if unsure how to continue.
Cassie forced a smile. “This isn’t a suicide watch. You don’t have to stay with me.”
Doc was visibly relieved. “It’s not that I don’t care. You’re one of my only real friends here. But between Zach and Nisha, and then waiting up in case you or Galahad came back injured….”
Touched, Cassie rested her hand on his. “Get some sleep. If I need anything, I can get it myself.”
“Sasha’s covering the ward tonight and will get me if you need me. I sent her to get something to help you sleep, so she should be back any minute.”
“You don’t have to treat me like I’m fragile.”
Doc got to his feet and affected a stern demeanor. “I’m not. I just don’t want you having bad dreams and screaming. You’ll scare my patients.”
Cassie suppressed a giggle at the thought, which was funny because it was so likel
y to be true. She was glad when Sasha came into the ward with a glass and a half-full bottle of wine.
Cassie poured a glass and tried not to think about what Galahad had said—that such measures would make things worse if she came to rely on them. Well, it was only for this one night. She would be better tomorrow. She would have to be. If she wasn’t going to be strong, she might as well hang herself off the patio balcony and be done with it.
She gulped the wine, wincing at its sour taste and hoping it would make her dizzy like the vodka had. As the warm glow spread through her veins her muscles relaxed, her mind slowed down, and she found herself wondering if Leila was still lying in the street. She would have to check. Yes, that would be her mission while the others were away avenging themselves against the Christian Soldiers. She would find Leila and give her a proper burial.
Comforted by the thought that there was something she could do, she allowed the wine to overtake her thoughts and fell into a dreamless sleep.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
When Cassie awoke, it was late in the morning and someone was shaking her shoulder.
“There’s people here to see you,” Rochelle said.
Cassie opened her eyes, then squinted them closed again. She couldn’t think of anyone she wanted to see except Galahad, and he wouldn’t ask Rochelle to announce him. “Tell whoever it is to go away.”
Rochelle nudged her to sit and handed her a glass of water. “It’s those new friends of yours. The ones who sneak around in black.”
“Thing One and Thing Two?”
“They’ve been waiting an hour already and Doc said to wake you up before they start having sex in the lobby.”
“That would be just like them.”
“Should I send them in here, or do you want to meet them out there?”
Cassie struggled to her feet, her head pounding and every muscle aching. “I’ll go out there. If they come in here, the mattresses might give them ideas.”
Rochelle brought a bowl of water so she could wash her face and smooth her hair. Since Cassie wasn’t ready to face her empty room, she straightened her rumpled clothes as best she could and went to see what the twins wanted.
She found them sitting on the hearth of the fireplace, their weapons at their feet and their clothes just as dirty as Cassie’s own. In the light from the tall windows, their gray and black makeup looked smudged and slept-in, although it was still scary enough that a group of children had stopped playing games in the lobby and sat on a sofa across the room, their feet on the upholstery and knees tucked up to their chests as they stared at the visitors.
The twins got up and walked toward her with their usual cat-like arrogance, but then they paused and looked at each other, doubt written on their faces.
“Thank you for yesterday,” Cassie said, guessing they were hoping for a reward.
Danny gave an embarrassed shrug. “We’re just sorry we got there too late for your friend.”
“We’d seen the Christian Soldiers in our territory before,” Danica explained. “And lately they’ve been coming around more often. But since they always harassed expendables and didn’t take any food, we left them alone. It never occurred to us that after you left May’s shop—”
“You knew we went to May’s?”
“We’ve been staking it out for a long time,” Danny said. “You hadn’t figured that out?”
Cassie ran a hand through her hair. She wasn’t up for this. “Well, thanks again. Would you like some food, or…?” She prodded her sluggish mind for ideas. What would the twins value? A solar oven, maybe? One of Sid’s converted alternators?
Danny shook his head. “That’s not why we’re here.”
“Your food is crap, anyway,” Danica added. “We’re on a different errand. We hope we’re not doing this wrong by coming to you first.”
“Maybe we should’ve gone to Mundo.”
“But we’d seen you with the girl before and we know she was your friend.”
“And we didn’t want to bother your leader if this is a personal or family type of deal.”
Cassie looked from one twin to the other, wishing they would just say what was on their minds. “Well?”
“We brought your friend’s body,” Danica said, as if it was obvious.
“We figured it might be hard for you,” Danny said. “It was messy.”
“Lots of blood,” Danica said with a shudder.
“But don’t worry, we shrouded her up proper and everything.”
Cassie blinked back a sudden urge to cry.
“Oh, God,” Danica said. “Don’t do that. I can’t stand tears any more than I can stand blood.”
Danny slipped an arm around her waist and nuzzled her neck. “You’re starting to make me think you don’t like any bodily fluids.”
“Save that thought for later.” Danica stole a kiss, then turned her attention back to Cassie. “We left her in the loading dock, since we see your shuttle is gone for the day. If you’ve got a better place in mind, we can move her. Just say where.”
Cassie had no idea where to put Leila. Hoping a plan would come to her, she followed the twins to the loading dock where a black-wrapped form lay against the wall, still strapped to an improvised stretcher. She stared, wondering why her mind refused to come up with an idea for what to do next. She had buried her parents, teachers, and many friends. Death was almost as routine as brushing her teeth. Why was she confounded by this one?
“How long had you known each other?”
Cassie had forgotten the twins were still there, waiting for her to say something. “Nearly our whole lives. We were neighbors. We weren’t always best friends because we were too different. But we knew we could count on each other.”
“That means a lot,” Danny said. “I’m sorry we don’t have any ideas where you should bury her, but we don’t keep up with which places are full, which places get dug up by dogs and that sort of thing.”
“It’s okay. You’ve done more than enough.” Cassie struggled to come up with a suitable expression of gratitude, but could think of nothing that was adequate. “I owe you. I hope I’ll have a chance to do you a really big favor someday.”
“So do we,” Danica said with a saucy lift of her chin.
“Favors make the world go ‘round,” Danny agreed. He grabbed Danica from behind and whispered something in her ear that made her giggle.
“Can I see you out?” Cassie asked.
“We’ll find our own way,” Danny said. “After a quick tour of your parking garage.”
“We hope no one minds,” Danica said with a smirk.
“Too bad if they do.” Danny pulled her toward the stairs and yanked open the fire door. With a little wave, they slipped through the doorway and were gone, their laughter echoing in the stairwell.
Cassie shook her head hard. Then after a long moment spent staring at Leila’s shrouded form, she went into the hotel. She had a funeral to plan.
EXCERPT FROM CASSIE’S JOURNAL
Leila’s funeral will be tomorrow. Although I would like to bury her properly, Mundo, Doc, Alaina and the others said cremation would be better than attracting attention in one of the parks by digging a grave. Graves just end up being dug up by dogs looking for a meal or by kids hoping something valuable got buried with the deceased.
We think by tomorrow we’ll have other dead and if we plan for a cremation we won’t have to worry about how many graves to dig. We’ll just light one big fire for all of them.
How many? We don’t know. Zach has Telo and there’s no telling how long he’ll last. When it strikes a young person, they generally linger for awhile, unlike older people whose telomeres were already short to begin with. But we told Zach we would help him commit suicide any time he asks, so he might be dead by tomorrow, too.
And then there’s our people who went to fight the Christian Soldiers. They aren’t back yet and no one has heard any word. There was a big fire to the south this afternoon, with lots of smoke. We don’t know if
it has anything to do with the battle, though. As of an hour ago there was still a glow toward the south and a smell of something toxic in the air. No telling what it means. It was too far away to send one of our remaining guards to investigate, and the Thespians are in the same situation we’re in. Unless we know for sure where our people are, we can’t send anyone traipsing the city on a goose chase.
So we wait.
I could end up burning Galahad along with Leila by tomorrow. The thought makes me anxious and I pace the rooms when it gets too bad. No one minds or even seems to notice. We’re all scared and coping in our own way. Alaina snapped at the children and locked herself in her room. Doc and Rochelle have rearranged their triage setup four times already, ignoring their patients, who I’ve been caring for when I’m calm enough to do more than pace the halls like an animal trapped in a zoo.
What wouldn’t I give for just one working cell phone tower or television station right now?
Sid is holed up in his office and I heard him trying to get a radio broadcast when I walked past, but all he got was static, which is all he ever gets. I don’t know why he thinks it will ever be different. I guess we each have our own form of optimism.
But I’m not optimistic. I won’t be able to burn Galahad’s body. I’d rather dig a grave and climb in with him so I can die holding his bones. Crazy, I know. All these deaths must be catching up with me and I’m finally losing my mind.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
After an anxious day and an even more nerve-wracking night, Cassie dozed off in the pre-dawn hours while reading to Zach. She hadn’t even realized she had fallen asleep until a commotion in next room woke her.
“Where’d you put the suture needles, Rochelle? Dammit!”
Cassie ran into the triage room where Doc and Rochelle were tripping over each other in confusion. “Are they back? Are they hurt? What happened?”
“Hell if I know,” Doc said. “The shuttle just pulled up. Help me find my curved cutting needles. I’ve got my straight and half-curved, but—”