"I doubt that my personal life is really any of your business. Have you raised your temp yet?"
I hadn't, but I wasn't letting this go. Heat stroke? Maybe.
"Do you sneak out when nobody is paying attention? I get that. Having everyone knowing your business is pretty hellish up here. I can't take a shit without everyone talking about it."
"So, if I were trying to protect my supposed midnight rendezvous, why in the world would I tell you? It seems to me that you have a hard time reigning in your tongue."
"Good point there." I changed the subject abruptly. "I'm kind of afraid that I'll set myself on fire if I raise my temp too much. I had a hell of a time yesterday cooling down. There are parts of my body that are still a little sunburned."
A blush colored my cheeks. If I didn't know better, I’d think I was trying to impress upon this man that I was a flighty ditz of a woman. Where did that come from? I wanted to assure him that I was ready to kick some ass, not interview him for the society pages.
Since when did I become a blathering idiot when dealing with men? It wasn't this hard with Drew, but I had to admit that I’d had my share of awkward moments. This was different. Maybe I wanted to impress him too much. Why, was the question?
He moved out of the shadows toward me and for the first time I saw his face in full light. I gasped before I could stop myself. A deep gash of a scar ran from below his jaw down across his chest. It looked like someone had taken a sword, chopped him in half and somehow the pieces didn't form back together properly.
Oddly enough, it didn't detract from his beauty. It just made him seem more solid.
"So, you find me hideous?" His voice was gruff as if expecting rejection.
"Lord, no. You're beautiful. Just like every other being in this place. Is this the stupid reason you hide away?"
That gave him pause. "You think I'm beautiful?" He scowled. "Grace Murphy, I think that your sister scrambled your brains when she was pounding your head on the pavement. Come over here, closer to the fire."
I sighed. "Okay, but at this rate I'm going to end up naked. It's too fucking hot in here to live."
"Raise your temperature." His voice radiated patience.
"What if I catch on fire?"
"Then you catch on fire."
Yeah, that was reassuring.
Chapter 14
"You look like you're about to poop your pants, Grace. It's not that difficult. No…don't grunt. The saints preserve us."
I did kind of feel like if I pushed anymore, I was either going to give birth or have an embarrassing accident. "I don't know how I've gotten this far. It just happens when I get ragey."
"Okay, let's talk about the ‘ragey’ feelings. What are you picturing? What are you feeling?"
Those questions confused me. What did you feel when you went into a rage? White hot anger? I'd never stopped to investigate the individual emotions attached to them. It's not like I spent a lot of time in superbitch mode. Okay. What did we have?
"Anger? Frustration. Passionate hatred. White hot—" Oh, there it was, the room started cooling as the words tumbled out of my mouth. I sighed with relief and checked my skin for any signs of a flame up. I giggled then, thinking of carrying industrial sized Tucks pad around with me just in case I had a flare up. Grace Murphy - walking hemorrhoid.
"Better. The key is to raise it, but not too high. You don't want to burst into flames when someone cuts you off on the highway."
I started to protest but he raised an eyebrow in my direction, effectively silencing me.
"No, I don't believe that you don't get road rage. So, I read you at around 103 degrees Fahrenheit right now. How does that feel?"
"Less sticky," I responded. "How can you tell what temp I'm at?"
"Grace, I'm thousands of years old. How do you think? I practice."
"I'm so impatient."
"That's a very honest statement."
"Yes," I replied wryly. "I'm not in the habit of lying."
"Except to yourself."
I scowled. "This isn't about my broken psyche - it's about me learning how to control this fire."
"Isn't it? Your psyche plays a huge part in how you control the power. If you walk around in a constant rage, you'll end up burning something down. Am I wrong?"
"No," I groused. "You're not wrong. I don't want to think about how broken I am."
"Grace, pull your head out of your ass. You're not broken. You're just the same as anyone else. You've got problems. You've got emotions and you have a life. You think you're any more neurotic than Athena or Me or Georgie? You're not. Every one of us just does what they have to, to get by. I've burned down a few forests in my time. It doesn't make me broken. It makes me a normal, complex being."
Something clicked into place during this monologue and his words resonated so strongly that I shook myself out of my pity party. God, I hoped I didn't start crying.
"You can cry, Grace. It's okay. Just remember, argue for your limitations and they are yours to keep."
My jaw dropped at him. Crap not another damned mind reader. "No, I can't read your mind - your face is just extremely expressive. You may want to try working on a passive face."
"Oh, right. I can't seem to get the hang of that." I blushed.
"That's all right. We'll work on it. Now, lower your temperature. I want to take you somewhere and hypothermia isn't exactly pleasant."
He got a blank face.
He raised his hands in exasperation. "Why does Zachary do this to me? Grace, you raised it, bloody figure out how to lower it. I'll be back in a few minutes. I need to give instructions to my apprentice. Please, try not to burn my forge down. I'm fairly partial to it."
I was really tired of being thrown into the deep end of the lake and getting told that I needed to swim or sink. Oh wait…deep end of the lake! "Hah!" I exclaimed and pumped my fist into the air.
Steam rose in wisps from my skin as though I'd doused myself in water. Technically, it was only a visualization technique, but it worked. It seemed physically impossible but whatever. It worked. That’s all I really needed to know.
Dylan's mop of hair peeped around the corner. "Hey, Mom?"
"What's up?"
"Um, Master Hephaestus asked to reschedule your trip. Something has come up. He says that he will meet you outside the front door at dusk. Is that acceptable?"
"Has an alien taken over your body?"
He threw me a startled look and then blushed. "Nooo!"
"’Kay, just checking. Tell your Master that yes, this is acceptable. I'll be back then."
He breathed a sigh of relief and disappeared back around the corner. I didn't have any other plans for the day so I headed out to enjoy the sunshine. Maybe Athena was up for some swimming. Or maybe I'd make Marisol happy and write a few chapters.
***
So, here I was on the road again walking back to the main part of the city. Man, I was doing a lot of walking lately. My senses were on high alert this time, though. I didn't need another episode with Hope because frankly, I was exhausted.
I was proud of the fact that I didn't flinch when Drew popped in beside me.
"You're training with Heph."
"You're very astute."
"Be careful or you'll end up as dour and humorless as he is," he quipped.
What came out of my mouth next was as much of a surprise to me as it was to him. "You have a very small vocabulary." It tickled me to see his body go rigid with surprise. He stopped abruptly in front of me, his mouth agape.
"That was just mean. Besides, you know very well that I don't have a very small vocabulary."
I rolled my eyes and continued walking. All of the marbles of you show a very small vocabulary. That's probably why you spend so much time strutting about like you're God's gift to women. Over compensation. It's nothing to be ashamed of, Drew. Most men aren't very well-spoken."
I glanced up at him to see his expression and continued walking.
"Again, you know
that I am well-spoken. But let's move on to less prurient topics shall we? Have you told Dylan yet?"
"Do you need to borrow a thesaurus? I think I have one I can lend you." At his raised eyebrow, I rolled my eyes and responded seriously. "No, I haven't had the opportunity. Is that why you're here?"
"No, I wanted to see how you're doing. That incident with Hope last night, right before you nearly drowned, has me worried about you. You've had a hell of a few days."
"I hope she's still blistered," I muttered. That karma was going to come back to me eventually, but I wouldn't take it back. I did hope that she was still blistered. I still had a lump the size of an egg on the back of my head where she'd slammed it into the pavement. Bitch.
"I wouldn't know."
"How surprising. I thought that you'd be happy with your little reunion. I hear that your match was one for the ages. All sunshine and butterflies."
"Depends on who you're talking to I guess. I haven't seen Hope since the last time we were together at your house."
"Hmm." It's amazing what one little syllable can say about an entire bevy of emotions.
"You don't believe me." It was a statement rather than a question.
"You haven't given me much reason to trust you lately."
"You need to get over this anger, Grace. It's not attractive."
"Good thing I'm not used to being attractive in the first place. To answer your question, I'm fine. Life is fine. No, I haven't told Dylan and if you don't mind, I have a bit of a hike ahead of me…I'd prefer to enjoy it in silence."
"I never took you for a coward."
That heat seeking missile hit its intended target and I stopped dead in my tracks. I wanted to argue. I wanted to fight. Most of all, I wanted to get the hell out of here before he realized how much of a coward I truly was.
I didn't ask for this life but I was doing the best I could to make it work. I didn't ask for a nut-job sister who wanted to kill me for allegedly stealing her husband. I didn't ask to bear the sole responsibility of retrieving my lost, and possibly dead, mother. Who was he to judge me?
Normally, this was where I'd let my anger take over. My smart mouth had gotten me out of situations like this before. I found that I couldn't draw on that well right now, though. I was just so tired. I didn't want to fight anymore.
I looked up into his face, resisting the urge to smooth away the lines of stress and worry. I shook my head. "I can't do this with you. Can't you see that this kills me? Why can't you read my mind and just know what's going on in there? I can't say the words. All I know is that I hurt. I am so tired. It's easier to be angry with you than to face the fear and the crappy emotions." I looked up into his face, shook my head again and sighed. "So, you either understand or you don't."
Was that moisture gathering in my eyes? Are you kidding me? Where did hard-ass Grace go and why did she leave me with sniveling Grace?
It's difficult to realize that you're lonely and longing for the other half of your soul to come along. I wanted it to be Drew, but I knew that this lie broke everything I'd built up in my mind.
The blocks were tumbling down. Drew would always be one of my best friends. He'd always be the person who helped me reach for something bigger than myself. But he wasn't going to be my soul mate. I needed to be okay with that.
He reached out and ran a thumb under my eye, catching the moisture before it could fall onto my cheeks.
"If I could take it back, I would. Not what we did together, but keeping the truth from you. I'd tell you a million times and beg on my knees for your forgiveness. But I can't go back in time. I can't change what has happened. All I can do is tell you that I feel like something terribly important is missing from my life when you and Dylan aren't in it. I finally figured out what it was to have a family."
My heart plummeted to my knees and it was a long time before I could breathe again. It wasn't an admission of love. He was admitting that he belonged to something greater than himself. Maybe I had grown up and had finally realized that some things in life were just more important than holding onto the hurt. Whatever the reason, I looked into his eyes and showed him the sorrow I was holding and the fear. "I want to tell you that those aren't the right words but hey, things are crazy. Drew, you are family. We'll figure it out." It was a quiet admission but you'd have thought that I'd yelled it.
His body visibly relaxed. "Thank you. You have a lot on your plate. A lot to focus on. I don't want this thing between us when it comes down to the punches."
My fingertips reached for the egg sized lump and I winced. "Yeah, I need to roll with them a little better, I guess. I just left Dylan back at Heph's compound. We could probably spring him and sit him down for a talk if you are read—" I didn't even finish the sentence before we blinked out of the middle of the street and back at Heph’s door.
"Eager?"
"Yeah, I guess I am."
"A warning would have been nice." My eyebrows were pasted to my hairline. I was getting really annoyed by my inability to teleport.
So…how do you tell a kid that the person he thought was his father his entire life is actually someone else?
I didn't know how to start and suddenly I was nervous. My elbow shot out and caught Drew in the ribs. "Ow! What the hell, Grace!"
"You tell him," I whispered.
He sputtered.
"Tell me what?"
I looked at that not so baby anymore face and pasted a bright smile on my face. "That you're the most awesome kid in the Universe. How did you know we were out here?"
"Um, Heph asked me to answer the door and ask erm - Drew what in the blankety blank, blank he was doing here."
My eyebrow arched. "Are you filling in blanks for bad words?"
His face turned scarlet. "Yes."
"I see." I wondered where that came from. I hadn't heard of a rift between the men but I guess it made sense with Drew's earlier attitude. Yet another thing to file away for later, I guess.
"We came to see you, buddy. We have something to talk about." Drew eased me out of the way and put his hand on Dylan's elbow to guide him out of the house.
Dylan dug in his heels. "I – I need to ask permission first. I er…if I don't, I have to do sewer duty and Mom, I can't go down there. It smells pretty heinous."
My eyes narrowed as I really examined my son. I'd been pretty off hands with him since we'd gotten here. His training took him out of my sphere of control, but I wondered what in the world he’d done to Scott to get stuck with this kind of punishment. He said he'd tagged him. Maybe I should have asked how badly.
"I'll take care of that, Bubby. Just stand here and talk to Drew. I'll be right back."
I jogged to the forge and found the area empty. "Heph?" My voice echoed through the room and down a hallway I hadn't seen before.
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere doing something useful?"
I started and turned around. "Yeah, I'm supposed to be telling my kid about his parentage. I wanted to get him released from his blankety blank, blank duties so we could do it without him worrying about having to clean the sewers. Really? Sewers?"
"Would you want to clean the sewers?" He folded his massive arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow.
"Good point. Anyway, this is important and I haven't had much time alone with him to get this over with."
"Nervous?"
"Yeah."
"You'd be surprised what the kid knows."
"Would I?"
"Grace, he's your son. What do you think?"
"Crap, I better get back there before all hell breaks loose." I turned to jog back, but his words stopped me.
"Would you like to come back for dinner?"
"Wha—what?"
"Dinner," He continued gruffly. "I still have some training left to attend to. We can do that after."
"I—yeah. Sure. Let me just get this taken care of. It really depends on how he takes it. You know?" Where did this awkward come from? Wait, was he being nice to me?
&nb
sp; I wasn't sure how to take this. Was my world so topsy-turvy that I immediately looked for the 'This is a Trap' sign? Why was he being nice? I shook my head, scattering the thoughts.
"Right, of course." He nodded his head toward the door, dismissing me.
So I ran. As fast as I could, actually. I just wasn't sure if I was running away from him or toward something else.
Chapter 15
Dylan was walking through the front door to find me when I barreled into him. Limbs flailed and bodies crashed as we both hit the floor.
"What the Hell, Mom!"
"Did you just say Hell?" His profanity diverted me from the instant worry of knocking my baby down. I forgot to check him for cuts, bruises or gashes in my shock.
"No?"
"Yes?" I shot back.
"Maybe?"
"Maybe you forgot that you aren't allowed to swear in front of your Mother?"
"You swear all the time." Oh, busted! There is nothing worse than your kid calling you out when you're getting ready for an all-out motherly tirade on bad language. He was right. I did swear all the time. However, I was also old school enough that I felt confident in pulling the 'Do as I say not as I do' card.
I narrowed my eyes at him, scowling - with what I hoped was ferocity -and bellowed, "I can say what I want. I'm three times your age. When you get to be my age, you can say what you want. For right now, you're twelve and you're not supposed to swear in front of ladies. Got it?"
He grumbled under his breath, forgetting that I could hear every word perfectly. "Yeah, you're getting your mouth washed out for that one buddy," I growled.
His eyes widened in shock and then he blushed. "Sorry, Mom."
"Are you okay?" I sighed and patted him down just to be sure nothing was broken.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Drew wanted to tell me something but he said we had to wait for you. I thought I'd come get you."
"Oh."
"That's it? Oh?"
"Yeah, okay. I don't know what to say here. Let's grab Drew and go somewhere we can talk."
He rolled his eyes at me and led the way out into the sunshine. Drew was fidgeting. He looked like a nervous Groom standing at the altar with the knowledge that his Bridezilla was actually a soul-sucking demon from the fifth level of Hell. I raised my eyebrows at him and nodded toward the road.
Rifts Page 10